If you won’t bother checking the FDS handbook before posting your question, at least ask yourself this…

SayNad · 2021-11-25T20:10:44+00:00

One thing that baffles me is that some sisters here treat eating out alone, going to movies alone, going to the malls alone, hell even shopping for groceries alone is... groundbreaking? I've been doing that since I become independent and I thought that's just how adult function?

Just feels like women have been too indoctrined by the society that being alone and doing stuff alone is wrong and sad - while in reality that's just the practical way to live.

You can't just wait around until somebody is available to accompany you - that's inefficient. If you want to do something, just go do it.

Angeli_33 · 2021-11-25T19:38:26+00:00

I stopped comparing myself to others. We have all been dealt a unique set of cards in this life. And as cliche as it may sound, if someone doesn't recognize the value I bring to the table, then it's simply not gonna work between us. Because it's only when they value your worth that they start to treat you like you deserve to be treated.

tuberosetears · 2021-11-25T19:47:51+00:00

I think a lot of these recent posts by women asking about whether or not they should keep dating/talking to men whom their intuition is telling them to cease contact with illustrate that they still fear being alone.

I don't believe that anyone, female or male, can date confidently/easily/healthily if they're terrified of being by themselves. Without confronting their fear of solitude they run from partner to partner, leaving each relationship more exhausted than the last. It's not sustainable and abusers can smell desperation like sharks smell blood.

extraodi · 2021-11-25T19:37:28+00:00

Valid questions. Reading some posts over the last few days have been brutal.

DogsNotHumans · 2021-11-25T20:34:01+00:00

This is exactly it. I have everything I need and a lot of what I want as a single woman. I provide those things for myself, and my life is a good one. Anyone wanting to partner up with me better be bringing some major game that improves my life, not just taking a chunk out of the good shit I’ve already got on my own. And if nobody ever comes along to do that, no problem. No levelling down or sideways, ever.

joelywiggo · 2021-11-25T20:50:00+00:00

I love being alone. I love that I can just BE. I’m my best friend. She gets me.

mashibeans · 2021-11-26T00:28:05+00:00

Do report those types of posts. I know we should all support each other, but there are very good reasons we have our rules. Reading the handbook, the other materials we have available, on top of the thousands and thousands of posts, is the bare minimum.

This situation has happened before several times; there's always a wave of newbies who come here thinking this sub is like the other female-oriented subs, they get salty or their feathers ruffled and start snipping, thinking they're the exception of the rule, or thinking they can change the scope of the sub.

Everyone: Follow the rules. Read the handbook. Read all the material we have. Remember the scope of this sub, and make posts accordingly.

Talktothecat1 · 2021-11-26T01:27:10+00:00

My test is whether a man brings me the same joy and peace that my cat provides.

The_Oracle_of_Delphi · 2021-11-26T14:37:46+00:00

I am single, and people frequently make nasty comments to me about my “aloneness”. For this Thanksgiving holiday, I was told things like “Are you going to be alone this Thanksgiving? It’s very sad to be alone for the holidays.” And people are forever nosing into WHY I’m “all alone”. They also make rude comments about other people I know who are single, talking about how sad their lifestyle is, etc. I think we need to normalize singledom, because I think it is actually becoming more and more common. TV shows like “Sex and The City” made it look like every single woman is desperately seeking a man. I would like to see a popular show with strong single women who are enjoying their life AS IS and who are not constantly focused on finding a man. This might help others to stop seeing us as “sad” and “alone”.

_laufaeson · 2021-11-25T19:31:19+00:00

Preach 👏

FI-REfox · 2021-11-26T04:11:11+00:00

"Am I growing around you like I do when I'm alone"

I'm always amazed by how much free time I have to explore interests and hobbies when I'm single. Relationships with LVM drain women of free time in a way that other relationships do not: looking up "fun activities" to do together, researching the perfect birthday gift (not just for him, but for his mother as well), analyzing the look on his face or tone of his voice in response to everything you say/do. And this is to say nothing of the physical labour of house- and child-care if you have the misfortune of living/procreating with him.

There is no time to develop yourself when you are burdened with developing these parasitic men; they consume all your energy and cause you stagnate as a person. It's pruning time, sis.

midgetsinheaven · 2021-11-26T07:03:45+00:00

Have said this multiple times on this sub oh, when I started dating my guy he said to me

"I need to great you better than any of your past boyfriends have treated you."

To which I replied, "No, you need to treat me better than I treat myself. I know what I want, I know what makes me happy. I treat myself so amazingly well. If you don't treat me as good as I treat myself, there is no reason for me to be with you. Likewise, I will treat better, because you are worth it."

We just celebrated one year together and are ridiculously happy. Boundaries people! boundaries!

NonaOrganic · 2021-11-25T20:17:23+00:00

This is how I live my life innately.

ImTryinDammit · 2021-11-25T19:25:49+00:00

I second this.

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-26T15:30:16+00:00

The only coffee dates you should accept are with yourself and/or your best friend/relatives you tolerate.

I think this was my strategy without me realizing it! Makes me want to take myself out to eat some food! 🥰

JesusisKingisLord · 2021-11-26T13:25:18+00:00

This is the energy I strive for!

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-11-26T05:07:32+00:00

I do the same thing hahaha!

Title	If you won’t bother checking the FDS handbook before posting your question, at least ask yourself this…
Author	herbivorouscarnivore
Upvotes	2124
Comments	53
Date	November 25, 2021 7:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r247gc/if_you_wont_bother_checking_the_fds_handbook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/if-you-wont-bother-checking-the-fds-handbook.1086566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086566

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