Transman Highlights Male Social Disprivilege

butwhyamidoingthis79 · 2022-04-01T09:26:41+00:00

How are feelings of emotional desperation because of 'white imperialism'? The rest of it was great but that came out of nowhere lmao.

I'm not white, I am confused as to how it relates to it though

rammo123 · 2022-04-01T10:24:38+00:00

Sucks that it had to come through the lens of a transman to get any traction but I’ll take it.

Like woman starting to reckon with the burden of responsibility and infallibility because of that song from Encanto.

psychosythe · 2022-04-01T11:29:45+00:00

I like how they feely admit that the 'social armor' IS fucking up men but that's it's necessary because going without it MIGHT lead to assault, which is also the general argument for open firearm carry.

Nayko214 · 2022-04-01T13:19:40+00:00

Weird white imperialism comment aside its fairly spot on; the emotional lacking in most guys mostly stems from being treated as being terrible just for existing. Although I felt it was a bit to excusitory for the women side of thing. "We just don't want to be assaulted". Understandable but.... most men aren't going to assault you holy shit. Its so aggravating to have people get the realization that "Hey, men are emotionally malnourished; but we shouldn't ask the people better equipped to help with that to do something about it because fear of assault that 99% of men will never do".

To me it'd be like we have a sickness problem in the community but all the doctors are too afraid to treat patients out of fear they might get sick too. Yes, obviously there is some risk but with even some base line proper precautions you should be fine and you're the ones best equipped to help; so HELP, sheesh.

mensmod · 2022-04-01T14:05:16+00:00

So close to being well written until it a) blames the issue on white imperialism, as if non-white men didn't experience this also, and b) fails to recognize that "creepy men" is a consequence of this, so women wouldn't need that armour if they didn't treat men that way and men had some reasonable socialization with women starting at a young age.

blahblah421 · 2022-04-01T14:03:09+00:00

For me, the "White Imperialism" comment and the complete misunderstanding of testosterone makes the post frustrating to read because he touches on a real issue but draws conclusions that are way off base. I hope he manages to surpass those stumbling blocks.

webernicke · 2022-04-01T17:26:12+00:00

Not a fan of any of this really.

He grasps that the reality of being a man might not be the life on easy street that Patriarchy theory suggests, but then falls right back into the wokist line of going out of his way to ultimately blame the situation on men and White imperialism.

RockmanXX · 2022-04-01T23:02:33+00:00

There is no inherent camaraderie in Male Socialization

Doesn't that disprove the Patriarchy Theory?

Insanely lonely feeling

Feminists would call this "Incel TALK" and accuse you of being entitled to Sex.

As someone who used to be a female, this Armour is 100% impersonal

What difference does it make if its not? "Nothing Personal"? you sound like a movie villain trying rationalize horrible actions.

Women would do it if it they didn't risk running into assault

How does being cold to men somehow "protect" Women but being nice to Men elevates the risk of assault? I have a hard time wrapping my head around that "logic". Treating EVERY man you meet as a potential predator is disgusting&unacceptable, you can't justify that shit.

It seems to be taboo for men to be platonically intimate

BULLSHIT. We celebrate the love between brothers&male friends. It isn't taboo, its just hard to form that kind of male friendship. You can't just walk up to a random man and expect affection. Women have a natural in group bias, Men don't.

Society teaches men its not okay to be soft to other boys

No it doesn't! Western/White Societies are telling boys to be more feminine. Its like the wokes/feminists desperately want to be underdogs so that they can blame "Society", they refuse to admit that they occupy the upper echelons of Society. Wokes are not trailblazing rebels, they're the establishment.

testosterone gives you dumb bastard brain

You remind of the Right Wing guys who call Estrogen a Toxic hormone that makes men weak&cowardly.

I can see that Men can convince themselves their emotional desperation is a weakness

How is it not a weakness, when people use it to exploit Men? Onlyfans&Camgirl websites are examples how easy is to exploit Male emotional vulnerability. Its like saying, "using Windows 7 in 2022 isn't a security weakness", Of course it is!

We are all suffering from White Imperialism

What!? Instead of blaming the Female Chauvinism Movement Or the Male Gender Role, you blame Western Imperialism? What the hell does Imperialism have to do with being a Man?

The human species looks so much colder

Incels say the exact same thing, feminists&tradcons alike reply with:-

"Have you ever considered that... YOU ARE THE PROBLEM? Its your personality that makes everyone hate you! The world doesn't owe you anything, stop being so ENTITLED!!" But since you are TransMan, you were shielded from this kneejerk reaction. In fact, i think you said that you're Trans early on to secure sympathy which is reserved for Women. I bet if you didn't, you would've received a lot of "Found the Incel" replies. A more accurate title for this post would be:-

"TransMan tries to understand Male issues, fails and then falls back on Feminist talking points"

Skirt_Douglas · 2022-04-01T16:08:57+00:00

I can’t help but roll my eyes at all this “Cismen can’t see it, but I can because I was socialized as a woman” Talk.

He says that like their isn’t a massive portion of cismen who have their reputation dragged through the mud for bringing this kind of stuff up.

Also this idea that the reason women are often cold and aloof with men is strictly because they are afraid of being assaulted is complete nonsense. Sometimes they just think you are beneath them, and the idea of you thinking you might have a shot with them is so offensive, that they can’t risk you getting that impression, so they act cold and aloof for good measure. This creates a situation where women are only friendly to men when they are attracted to them, so men get it in their head that if a woman is friendly with them then it might be because they are attracted to them, so then women get it in their head that they should be unfriendly to all men they aren’t attracted to, because heaven forbid they get the wrong idea that they are worth something in the woman’s eyes.

To then say that this is not social rejection, because they are afraid of being assaulted, is a lie, even if it were literally that straight forward. That’s like saying hanging a “No jews allowed” sign outside of your store isn’t social rejection if the owner legitimately thinks Jews will steal from him.

National-Aardvark-72 · 2022-04-01T18:42:59+00:00

From personal experience, “crossing to the other side” can give you unique insight but this is condescending as hell to cis guys. They don’t need us to rescue them by breaking down their emotional walls lmao.

Kuato2012 · 2022-04-01T19:47:14+00:00

One of the more difficult conversations I had with my trans brother was when he noticed that almost nobody treated him like a full human being anymore. Suddenly he was met with revulsion when revealing "difficult" emotions, and he was struggling with that.

We can open up to very close family and friends, and that's it.

Mr-X1 · 2022-04-01T10:00:17+00:00

About being treated without much sympathy and camerady.

It's like they are starving, but don't know this

Plenty of men know their lot. One just adapts one's demeanor because the opposite generally is only harmful to one's life and social standing.

Even now, with all that I know about navigating the world as a woman, I'm failing to convince my monkey-brain that this amor isn't social rejection.

Because in a very real sense it is. Regardless of the justifications.

Yes, testosterone absolutely gives you Dumb Bastard Brain, but that just makes you want to skateboard a wagon down a hill, or duct-tape your friend to the wall, not kill someone.

This is not an issue with testosterone. This is an issue with American and British etc culture. Especially the former afaik. Also, lmao at this level of sexism. Pretty sure that person would not write stuff like "Estrogen gives women Selfish Manipulative Coward Bitch Brain" even though that would not really be significantly different from what they did. Plus, people should stop pretending that men are dumber than women. We are not. At all.

I can see how men might convince themselves that their feelings of emotional desperation is personal weakness as opposed to a symptom they're all experiencing from White Imperialism.

It is a weakness compared to people who do not have it and defacto works against such men similar to how other weaknesses work against them.

Also stfu with this racist bullshit. You think huge parts of Latin America, China, huge parts of the Middle East or Africa are any different? If anything, White people are the least racist and "masculinly toxic" major group of people around. Even that people living in "White countries" can endlessly spout this bullshit is a testament to that. Go spout similar bs about Arabs or Chinese people in their countries and see where that gets you.

fcsquad · 2022-04-01T08:43:27+00:00

Stumbled on this tweet via the always-interesting Ian Welsh's feed. It focuses on what I think is one of the really core burdens that boys and men confront that is often invisible both to women and to the men themselves.

2022-04-01T17:36:46+00:00

LMAO nah fuck this dude. Fuck him hard. He’s no different than all those feminists. “Cismen can’t see it but I can because I was socialized as a woman.”

This is just the beginning, welcome to hard mode dumbass. Eventually you’ll learn.

TheLWMA · 2022-04-01T21:40:32+00:00

"When I'm out in public and interact with women, all of them come off as incredibly aloof, cold, and mirthless."

This line is weird to me. I've interacted with women in public and very rarely have they been any of those things. Maybe it's because I have a "boyish" appearance and demeanor (long hair, 5'7", very little facial hair, socially anxious) and thus women don't consider me a threat, but I have seen more socially outgoing older men who were bald or balding, had bushy beards, and had bigger builds interact with women just fine.

With comments like "testosterone gives you Dumb Bastard Brain" and weird one about "White Imperialism", I suspect that this person is leaving out some much needed context with his interactions with women.

2022-04-02T16:51:57+00:00

It started out okay until it went full menslib at the end. Seriously, do these people really think male camaraderie isn't a thing?

BloomingBrains · 2022-04-01T22:58:21+00:00

There is a lot of this I disagree with.

For one, it's not homophobia or some kind of emotional stuntedness if straight men don't really care much about being intimate with each other. Its completely natural to feel that way. Besides, he makes it sound like another one those "men don't have friends" arguments. Just because our friendships aren't as touchy-feely and close as women's are, doesn't mean they aren't equally fulfilling to us. We're not these sad, broken, touch-starved individuals. Straight talk, we're not lonely because we don't hold hands with or hug our male friends. We're lonely because we want to do those things with women but can't.

Despite being a transman, this person doesn't really seem to understand men all that much. I think that culture shock they talked about is making them overestimate how bad things are (at least when it comes to non-romantic loneliness). They are pathologizing us from an outside perspective without knowing anything of what they're talking about. Not that I fault them for ignorance. I imagine transitioning requires a high learning curve. But that means you shouldn't open your mouth and start calling an entire gender emotionally stunted just because you don't understand them and they aren't like the gender you're more used to.

Secondly, regarding the whole "people of both genders are guarded around me". I have no idea where that is coming from. From what I've experienced, women are definitely guarded, yes. But other men, no. At least not in the same way. To a certain extent, it is normal to be guarded around strangers. And even if that is just part of the male dynamic, it doesn't mean its wrong.

Lastly, the "armor" thing. Frankly I think its disgusting to excuse women treating men like potential threats based on zero evidence. That is pure misandry. The author tries to make "the armor" sound sympathetic by saying "don't worry, I didn't like doing it, I just had to" but I'm not falling for that. Besides, it doesn't even make sense. Being guarded and cold to men that do want to hurt women will only result in pissing them off. They're evil assholes, they want to dominate. It can also be more fun for their psychopathic psychology when the victim isn't receptive. That's why most rapists are non-virgins. They are getting laid consensually but they aren't excited by a consensual partner. Pretending to be receptive as a means of pacification and then cutting things off once you've placed physical distance at least makes logical sense as a defense tactic, though I've spoken before about that can also be misandrist since it still inherently involves treating innocent men as threats.

Idesmi · 2022-04-01T19:54:33+00:00

"trans man" is preferrable

c0d3s1ing3r · 2022-04-02T03:38:38+00:00

Lmao at their reply

ACAB, especially your friend

Really great male camraderie there

pacsatonifil · 2022-04-01T11:05:42+00:00

My trans man friend still basically requires me to basically treat him like a woman or he gets all hurt emotionally. Personal experience if they are attracted to men they are auto androphiles. That’s a fetish. If they like women they are usually more stable.

austin101123 · 2022-04-01T09:44:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Transman Highlights Male Social Disprivilege
Author	fcsquad
Upvotes	142
Comments	142
Date	April 1, 2022 8:40 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ttlyle/transman_highlights_male_social_disprivilege/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/transman-highlights-male-social-disprivilege.1109159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109159

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