When you refer to women liking “bad boys”, what do you mean?

Matt_Door · 2022-05-25T17:15:15+00:00

Bad boy traits:

high self esteem/arrogance
low agreeableness
high risk taking
socially disruptive, bucks social norms
low respect for authority
high self-centered, low empathy (doesn’t consider others)
high Machiavellian tendencies

In short the bad boy does what he wants, doesn’t consider others, doesn’t care who he hurts and makes it a point of pride to transgress society’s rules.

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-05-25T15:36:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NOTSM · 2022-05-25T15:31:48+00:00

In this context it's mostly used to refer to dudes that are shitty in relationships.

Be it cheating or constantly lying or undermining her or starting fights for no reason or just not pulling his weight.in.the relationship.

Nobles_Fightclub · 2022-05-25T15:42:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

throwaway316stunner · 2022-05-25T16:43:46+00:00

Guys that are exciting and fun, but also brash, arrogant to the point of narcissism. ignorant, can be just plain mean and assholey to their partner as well as to the world around them. May also cheat, use hard drugs, break the law, etc.

Whereas “good boys” are kind and typically have their shit together, but usually otherwise have simple and uninteresting lives.

MickIsBlue · 2022-05-25T15:36:41+00:00

Women usually go after and chase men with very selfish and narcissistic tendencies. Of course if you say this most women will deny your reasoning and claim it's only a small minority of women doing it but I assure you it's not.

Now not all the time are these guys nessesarily bad in a sense that he's a menace to society bad but alot of women fall for those guys just as often.

The traits of the stereotypical bad boy I see getting a bunch of women is narcissistic tendencies, being nomad types, breaking alot of conventional rules, doing drugs, being cheaters, etc.

A good guy is usually someone who places heavy emphasis on making sure the people he is around are getting their needs attended to. Not all the time does that mean pushover but alot of times you see nice guys get taken advantage of eventually.

AggroWeasel · 2022-05-25T15:39:16+00:00

Genuinely cruel, deviant men. This type of man attracts a large percentage of women.

abaxeron · 2022-05-25T15:54:32+00:00

What are the traits of a bad boy?

Convicted of a violent crime is a pretty good indicator.

https://www.gwern.net/docs/genetics/selection/2014-yao.pdf

Also what’s a good guy? The type you think women should go for?

Not convicted of a violent crime would be a pretty goddamn good start.

2022-05-25T16:45:32+00:00

I just think it’s a guy who is attractive looking that doesn’t necessarily break any major law, but he can break the rules. He also acts narcissistic, pretty selfish, but is able to be quite social and knows when he needs to turn on the “nice” for a brief amount of time.

All told though, the one thing you need to be a successful badboy is attractive looking. A short, average looking “badboy” isn’t gonna get interest from women. They’re not even gonna give him the time of day

wtknight · 2022-05-25T17:04:01+00:00

Dangerous, disagreeable, rebellious, outspoken against authority and the “system”.

Not all women like the handsome bad boy type, though. But enough do that men are encouraged to act like this in order to have better opportunities for sex.

A good guy is the opposite. He follows the rules and is respectful to others. He can also come across as boring to many women, although other women like this kind of guy.

warramite · 2022-05-25T16:28:06+00:00

Guys with low inhibition who dont use condoms cause they only care about busting a nut and dont care about the life their bastards will have

Guys who won't hesitate to cheat on you, fuck you sister and impregnate your mother, Guys who won't hesitate to beat a woman or kill her

I think Women are attracted to these types of men because they're Low Inhibition (live in the moment), obsessed with power (domineering), possessive (dont stop until you submit) and their empathy/guilt receptors are almost non existent (so they commit crimes without thought) those qualities make women highly attracted to a man

There's a reason serial killers have harems and the average man doesn't even come close to anything like that.

2022-05-25T16:41:28+00:00

I guess bad boys refer to the type of men who have sex appeal and good looks but also a dominant and slightly antisocial personality. This (arrogance, narcissism) makes them seem confident and socially dominant. I would point out that these type of men typically have the merits to back up their arrogance and social dominance as they tend to be popular and have access to social circles. With their sex appeal they are capable of attracting women and therefore have options to choose from. This abundance of available women enables their behavior. I guess the combination of sex appeal and villain-like exciting character makes them so attractive to women.

Good guys are, I guess, men who lack that narcissism, arrogance and social dominance. Could be altruistic and whatnot. Trying to be the good person or something like that.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-05-25T17:46:40+00:00

I always thought they're usually the type to have an alcohol problem, can't hold a job, and never have any money. Only thinks of themselves in the here and now.

Hoopy223 · 2022-05-25T16:18:35+00:00

Because the things men are taught to do and how to behave are not the things that attract women. Like being responsible vs irresponsible, being kind and respectful vs being a bully, being generous vs being selfish etc.

One of the hard truths of life is that being an asshole works.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-05-25T16:49:13+00:00

In my circles women are attracted to attractive, popular men who are a little edgy, but not exactly "bad boys". Traits; I had a roommate who smoked pot every day, drank, was a writer and did a lot of performances where he read his Bukowski-esque stuff, and was somewhat popular in that scene, worked at bars and restaurants. He always had several FWBs going at the same time and the occasional one night stand.

On the other hand I was in a therapy group once with a woman who told us she would go into a bar and instantly be drawn to the loudest drunkest guy in the place. Her choice in men was having a negative impact on her life, and she knew it, but she had no desire to change.

freerossulbrich · 2022-05-25T17:41:09+00:00

I am not sure I am correct.

But it seems that the idea of "good" is men that follows blue pill narratives. That is, losers. Men that "love" a woman, men where she is the only one.

Men that are "bed" are men that just pay women, for example. Not so bad that the men "rape" but just pay and make her do degrading things.

Also men that don't care about her.

Those men are winners and women like winners.

I maybe wrong.

I had an experience chasing a sugar baby hoping that she "likes" me. She doesn't. So I introduce her to my friend that simply make her walk naked with leashes and put dildo tied her up and if she doesn't do it, he simply say I won't pay. She needs the money.

That girl is willing to fuck anyone but me.

After that, I always make things transactional. If a woman doesn't want to do something sexy I just move on to someone I can pay and that's it. Also I will never get married. There is no way I let a woman having so much power over me that she can get a lot of money by just leaving me.

I am still fair. I knocked another woman up and I am a responsible father. However, a woman that get knocked up by a guy that just leave her may subconsciously think that such irresponsible dad are winners because the man can get her cost effectively.

NockerJoe · 2022-05-25T19:04:25+00:00

The best way to describe it would be that your stereotypical highschool bully rarely seems to have no girls interested in him. A lot of women will fetishize criminals, sure, but I think a lot more just don't pay attention to how he treats other people, or get an ego boost for thinking they're somehow special to him. Obviously when this goes wrong its shocking to them but in actuality all thats really happening is he's comfortable enough to drop the act and this is who he always was.

The absolute explosion in Harley Quinn's popularity over the years is testament to this, I think. This is a character who fell for a criminal who treated her kinda ok in the beginning and gave her a rush before just reverting to who he always was(an insane serial killer with a weird pseudosexual relationship with a man who hates him) and audiences latched onto her HARD and she was hyper relatable to a shockingly big portion of women.

The obvious solution has always been to just go for someone who's good inngeneral rather than makes some kind of special exception.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-05-25T16:59:00+00:00

A bad boy is a guy who would leave a woman if she fell pregnant - he will provide no paternal investment.

A good guy is a guy who would stay with a woman if she fell pregnant and provide paternal investment.

The paradox men find is women actually go for guys with "bad boy" queues, particularly when they are younger.

Hypergamy and things like that make sense, but women's "bad boy" phase doesn't make sense.

There's been heaps of research, a leading theory is that women see "bad boys" as having better genes, and play off genes selection vs paternal investment.

It also has something to do with the Madonna-Whore complex in women.

Generally, men view women's "bad boy" phase as a moral failure, and try to avoid women who do it. This is difficult.

TRP prescribes that all women do it (AWALT).

Nobles_Fightclub · 2022-05-25T18:12:16+00:00

I think a 'badboy' is one who is willing to go against the mandated social construct and be a bit less agreeable. Part of what is attractive is that it requires a degree of strength, which is why most people would prefer to be highly agreeable and have pleasant interactions.

Another aspect is that it signals that the guy has enough intelligence to recognize some things which naïve boys do not. It can be hard for a woman to respect a guy who is totally naïve and so agreeable that they regularly are a doormat. That's not hot/sexy.

Also a badboy by being okay with some level of discord / violating social etiquette / rules is showing a willingness to engage in at least a sort of violence. While violence is typically a bad thing, some women who have experienced times of vulnerability are aware that having a strong guy who has a little experience with violence is the one you want by you in some circumstances, not a naive boy who lived in a hugbox his whole life.

Yummylicky23 · 2022-05-25T18:28:29+00:00

I think my cousin is a good example of a bad boy. He has 5 children by 4 baby mamas, and I believe 10 of his other children have been aborted. He has dealt drugs and done prison time (not a lot). His personality is basically what you'd expect from someone like this, selfish, treacherous, manipulative etc. It's all completely obvious, he even looks the part. He has absolutely no problems getting girls, If he breaks up with one he'll have another within the week, I've seen it.

2022-05-25T19:32:05+00:00

Maybe they fall on alternative aesthetics such as full sleeve tattoos, piercings, or they ride motorcycles but that really has nothing to do with attitudes or morals.

What most guys actually mean when they say that women go for the bad boys are just guys who tend to domineer and display a lack of inhibition. These guys typically have smaller social circles but they’re feudal lords with those circles. If you’re a woman in that group, you’ll fall for that type of guy. I knew guys who ended up in prison that were never without female attention.

I never thought much of these guys because they never actually got with the most attractive women, it was just whoever happened to be adjacent to their lifestyle.

modidlee · 2022-05-25T16:19:23+00:00

I used to think it literally meant thugs or abusive guys. But when a woman explained it to me I realized it really just meant a guy who doesn’t bow down and do whatever she wants. She said I was a “bad boy” but I’m far from a thug or criminal. She said it was because I challenged her and didn’t agree and do whatever she wanted. It’s like when a person says their dog is a “bad boy” for misbehaving. It just happens that dudes who might be “thugs” are more likely to be the guy who doesn’t bow down and do whatever a woman says.

hightailed · 2022-05-25T16:47:15+00:00

I’ve come to the realization women don’t like “bad boys”. Women like attractive men. If a man is really attractive he has a lot more leeway to be a piece of shit.

Women just like about looks not mattering. I don’t think a woman wants to be treated poorly or are attracted to asshole traits. They just have an inability to admit they they’d sacrifice all the stuff they say they want if the guy is attractive enough

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-05-25T15:51:10+00:00

These aren't really terms that I ever actually use in any way, but here is how I see them used on PPD

Bad boy: A guy who broke a rule once

Good guy: A doormat

gate18 · 2022-05-25T16:14:58+00:00

"I'm a good guy, they don't like me, so they like bad boys"

"all the women that don't like bad boys don't count"

MickIsBlue · 2022-05-25T15:29:03+00:00

Bad boys are "dark triad" Machiavelli-lite TRP roleplayers

Good guys are the "I called you a queen so you owe me sex now" types

Both are acceptable personalities for high school boys but grown adults tryina act like high school jocks are cringe

Yummylicky23 · 2022-05-25T21:38:46+00:00

Maybe some women prefer it, but that's a relatively small group.

The much more reasonable version is that it isn't a deal-breaker.

What are the traits of a bad boy?

Exhibit A

2022-05-25T16:02:06+00:00

Men who are "ignorant", say whatever they want, dont "simp", are rough, have low inhibition, can be mean to others, are powerful in many ways including socially, have tatts, do behaviors that can lead to trohble, smoke, drinks, drugs, have "a story".

Basically the opposite of a beta nerdy guy with zero personality

mumblebumblegrumble · 2022-05-25T16:34:41+00:00

I think the "women like bad boys" thing is straight bs. I've just never really seen it. Women like men with good looks, are willing to pair with men that have money, personality or talent(sports, music, ect) and not the looks.

I've never seen though women want a man solely because he's an awful person so that's not the trait that's getting the women. Even in relationships that turn out to be abusive, the man is nice to the woman long enough to get her feelings committed before abuse starts.

I grew up in a pretty bad neighborhood with gangs. I know guys that have committed some pretty bad crimes against men but treat their girlfriends/wives like gold. I've Also met the nerdy guys at school that finally get a girlfriend and treat her like a bang maid.

No-Priority7869 · 2022-05-25T16:55:12+00:00

Men who project a life of female abundance. The ones who “act like they’ve been there before”. It comes off as arrogant asshole behavior from the outside.

AntinatalismTrue · 2022-05-27T01:35:07+00:00

When I refer to bad boys, I simply mean men that you or I would classify as evil. In other words, women are attracted to evil men because it provides them excitement. So, if you want to attract women, unfortunately you need to be a criminal with tattoos because women are attracted to that. In order to appreciate what I have said, you need to understand that a woman's mind is that of a child's. They need to be constantly entertained and provided with excitement, hence their attraction to "bad boys".

AutoModerator · 2022-05-25T14:13:09+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ohheyhi99 · 2022-05-25T18:30:46+00:00

Bad boys tend to be socially dominant, overly disagreeable, and willing to gamble with other people’s safety.

Having reasonable boundaries or liking kickboxing doesn’t make a man a bad boy.

Some women dislike the idea of being with a guy who’s very agreeable, doesn’t lead her, and doesn’t take risks. Those are stereotypically feminine personality traits. These aren’t necessarily bad traits, but to many women, they’re sexually unattractive traits to find in a man. It doesn’t mean these women necessarily want a bad boy, but bad boys tend to have the stereotypically masculine personality traits that a lot of women want. Bad boys tend to do what they want regardless of how it will affect other people so they’re less likely to hesitate about going after the women they want.

I also think physical attractiveness accounts for many bad boys’ appeal. There’s a lot of women who don’t prefer bad boys but may put up with one if he’s attractive enough.

missionarymechanic · 2022-05-25T19:36:10+00:00

I don't really see the "bad boy" angle. What I do see are girls who get roped into cycles of abuse due to low self-esteem and codependency, and "cluster-B" or generally unhealthy (but usually charming and/or physically attractive) guys who have an innate understanding of how to play off of those weakness.

If anything, women would prefer the "boring guy" that the "bad boy" is afraid of. Men or women who chase after poor traits probably lack traits worth chasing themselves. Ignore them romantically and move on.

Lotus_82 · 2022-05-25T19:44:59+00:00

What certain guys (the Nice Guy tm type) refer to as “bad boys” that women go for don’t necessarily have to deal drugs or have done jail time or ride a motorcycle.

It’s more about the personality traits that guys like that tend to have. - Fierce and unapologetic independence. - non conformism - confidence - strength, both physical and mental - un-afraid, hard to intimidate - spontaneous - fun to be around (guys who sit around the house playing video games aren’t considered fun to be around by women) - adventurous

I’ve been called a “bad boy” by Nice Guy tm types and I’ve never been to jail or got shot, I have a college degree, I’m a skater / snowboarder, a DJ, and I’m generally confident and I’m definitely not afraid of confrontation even though I never go looking for trouble.

I have in the past worked in the “alternative substance” industry, but that’s about it, so it’s not necessarily about being “dark triad”. I’m a digital nomad and a DJ and I live on a boat with my cat.

2022-05-25T20:07:32+00:00

With how things appear nowadays, being a "bad boy" is just being a real man. Someone who does what he likes and exercises his masculinity.

Most guys (the good guys) are unfortunately living repressed, in fear of their masculinity.

Its no wonder women prefer bad boys, regardless of what they say "on paper".

I know a colleague, who is banging a feminist, who is married, with kids. Her husband is a male feminist/simp type of guy who goes along with all of the nonsense this woman says/does and encourages her. My colleague is an openly homophobic guy who thinks he is gods gift to women. And she is cheating on her husband with this guy, go figure 😆

I guess this is a classic case of bad boy and "good guy". Although i personally wouldnt think of her man as a "good guy", i think the guy should have put her in her place, then she wouldnt disrespect him like this.

just_a_place · 2022-05-25T20:23:58+00:00

A bad boy is:

He doesn't give a shit about you and just using you like his fuckdoll
He's a loser, literally. No education and no job. Hustles for money by doing petty theft and other crimes
Is a bum who lives off the haunches of his parents or some girlfriend he's ripping off.
Has extremely poor emotional self-regulation. Gets angry easily and cries easily. Is impulse driven and never thinks deep about anything.
Doesn't have any inner-dialogue. Is generally a Dufus, thick headed, superficial and easily distracted.
Is of a certain age range, hence he is a bad boy and not a bad man. Bad boys are just pathetic losers after the age of 30.

I don't believe women should go for good guys because good guys do not exist. Good guys are just a fictional trope used to tell superhero stories.

AelfredRex · 2022-05-25T20:29:54+00:00

Bad boys... wild types, artists, musicians, actors, guys who like to party, may do some drugs, may deal some drugs, not full blown criminals or thugs, just "bohemians". More exciting than that guy who won't take any risks or is as dull as a paper plate.

Guy can be totally straight-laced and still be abusive, so that's not a bad boy trait.

billsull_02842 · 2022-05-25T23:57:10+00:00

put it this way if Jesus was a woman he would have flirted with judas at the last supper.

CriticalConvo · 2022-05-26T01:35:17+00:00

My girlfriend is the nicest and sweetest person I’ve ever met and she’s not at all amused by poor behaviour or a lack of manners. Still, she said to me in a fairly sincere way that she likes me because I’m an asshole. Maybe that’s part of the bad boy thing you’re talking about. I assume she’s referring to how I don’t let others opinions affect me, I’m really good at helping her get a grip of her university professors when they refuse to see her, getting a refund processed for even when she’s lost the receipt etc. i also won’t necessarily hesitate to speed for example if we’re in a rush somewhere or negotiate with someone to do something for us off the books

Shredddz · 2022-05-27T20:59:45+00:00

honestly to most men it is just any man with any emotional strength, meaning willing to offend, rebel against authority or norms and break rules if necessary.

Despite this being perceived as bad, which is the real problem in today’s society, its actually just masculinity and how men should be. no wonder its attractive to women.

Of course there is degrees to this, and these men can have toxic traits, but have not for the most part.

many men have an issue with this because they were told to be suckers to be good people, which is biologically absurd. The issue is though that these characteristics are attractive because they are masculine and signal strength, but many people with these rebellious masculine traits are drug dealers and criminals, which is why men are confused, but the truth is these are almost the only masculine behaving men left, so ofcourse young women are attracted to them.

the issue really is men are to beta, to submissive and to non masculine and thats a huge attraction negative that most western men just have by default. of course its a super power for the few men who have it.

Weiland_1989 · 2022-05-27T23:55:47+00:00

Women like good men who are tough, but if they have to chose from a tough bad man and a weak good man they will take the first one. Always.

cryptothrow2 · 2022-06-10T07:32:18+00:00

Look for the article, "romancing the romanceless" on Slate Star Codex

Title	When you refer to women liking “bad boys”, what do you mean?
Author	Yummylicky23
Upvotes	26
Comments	126
Date	May 25, 2022 2:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uxiath/when_you_refer_to_women_liking_bad_boys_what_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-you-refer-to-women-liking-bad-boys-what-do.1118606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118606

Comments