I've heard many guys in this sub be adamant that it is only looks or hypergamy that determine who someone wants to sleep with. That reflects a view of people that is frankly pretty sad. Sure, there are a lot of shallow people in the world. There's a prevalent stereotype that men only care about physical appearance and nothing else. However, it's obvious that everyone is a little bit different in what they are attracted to and we all land somewhere on a spectrum.

The insistence that the world is completely determined by biological factors is a defense mechanism. This defense works by shifting the blame of someone's failures in dating on something outside of their control. Oftentimes, the blame is shifted to the women that have rejecting them. "She doesn't like me because she's hypergamous, not because I'm not good enough". Or onto biology itself, "it's because of testosterone levels", or "men are exactly this way, women are exactly this way", or a combination "because of the testosterone levels in my mother's womb, my genes for a strong jaw were not expressed properly, therefore I am not going to appear physically attractive to women who only care about looks and value." The possibilities are endless. Whatever form it takes, these excuses all perform the function of placing the cause of the failure on something outside of that person's control, sparing them the pain of rejection and the subsequent responsibility of improvement.

Now, I am not saying that these factors do not have any impact. In fact, there is a lot about ourselves that we cannot control; physical attributes, health, familial wealth, intelligence, upbringing, etc. These are most definitely real and can effect every aspect of our lives; romance included. However, the world is not entirely predetermined by biology. The truth is that there are a lot that we have control over and there is always something we can improve to make ourselves more attractive. Blaming factors outside of your control is very rarely the answer that will help you improve in the future and it can even cause harm to the people that we blame. So, let's stop being cowards who hide behind shields of social science. Sure, it may be more painful, and it might even take a considerable more effort. However, the outcome will be much better for yourself and much better for the people around you. Who knows, you may even get a date out of it.