Have women become less interested in romance?

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-07-18T00:54:10+00:00

I don’t think women are less interested in romance. We are just less optimistic about finding it.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-07-17T22:01:28+00:00

When most guys try to romance women it seem like just an attempt to get sex not that their actually interested it you specifically. It is too dangerous to be naïve about romance.

anon018274031 · 2022-07-17T20:12:29+00:00

(I can’t speak for anyone else, this is just my personal view why my I’ve lost hope in it all)

I’d very much love a romantic partner. But I’ve lost such hope my birth control method (it’s a long term one) is being removed and I’ve deleted all the dating apps.

I’d rather be single then be treated how I have been by the few men that have acknowledged I exist. The only interest I ever get (which is rare in itself) is to have sex with me. Otherwise I’m invisible anyway.

It’s easier to just accept being alone then the hurt of chasing a relationship and romance. Romance to me feels like it’s dead.

EulenWatcher · 2022-07-18T04:29:49+00:00

I'm not sure whether it's cultural or not, as I'm from one of Asian regions, but I wouldn't say women here ever were overly romantical. Thinking the main thing in life is finding your love requires a certain level of naivety and enough physical comfort for one to actually think about it. Neither things have been much common here.

I'd guess women have become less compromising and the idea of being sacrificing for the sake of your partner however he treats you is less popular these days. I.e. back then women tolerating alcoholics, cheaters, abusers etc. were really common, it was considered pretty much the norm and women viewed it as "bearing their own cross". These days you still can meet women doing it, but getting divorce and taking care of yourself and your kids above a man who actively harms himself and others has become far more common.

learn2earn89 · 2022-07-17T20:15:04+00:00

For me at least, many of the women I know have been cheated on by their husbands, boyfriends. Or their partners seem to be lusting after other women by either viewing/following hot women on Instagram or po*n. Nothing romantic about those situations tbh. Not all men, of course, but enough to keep me away.

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-07-17T20:20:28+00:00

I need romance.

what's the point of romantic relationships without romance?

whereas men were seen as the more reserved, emotionally distant sex who were more afraid of commitment and viewed thing like sex and intimacy from a more superficial standpoint

We're incompatible

what other factors, if any, lead to the increasing lack of female emotional interest in romantic companionship?

That's not what I see but

that women are the ones more interested in connecting on an emotional level and having stronger feelings about forming long term romantic

"More interested" might be the missing piece. Men chill, and women are acting accordingly.

pinktuliplover · 2022-07-17T20:52:27+00:00

I think women still want romance, but it really needs to be more suited to the individual.

Like for me I love all flowers but especially tulips. If a guy always gets me a dozen roses I’d be appreciative, but it would just be generic romance. If he really knew me and wanted to romance me, he’d get tulips.

I feel the same about those beach proposals. I’m not a sit on the beach with wine and rose petals type of girl. I like roller coasters, nature, and water activities. I’d honestly rather be proposed to at an amusement park (with no one else around), on a hike through a scenic national park, or after an activity like scuba diving.

I think guys just need to try to tailor the romance a bit more to their actual partner and not just do what they see in movies and on social media.

And if any guys read this, are there certain romantic things you wish a girl would do or are you not into that?

bluestjuice · 2022-07-17T22:28:45+00:00

I suppose everyone is more than a little bit cynical in this age of disappointment.

2022-07-18T02:34:50+00:00

I don’t really trust the guy to stay loyal. Much rather have a friends with benefits situation than have a boyfriend who openly lusts after or pursues other girls. It’s too draining

oniialiani · 2022-07-17T21:41:02+00:00

a lot of women are interested in romance but are probably done chasing and expecting it. a lot of my friends still gush over romantic stuff but just settle for hookups because they don’t think they’re gonna find a romantic loving relationship anyway

2022-07-17T23:41:46+00:00

I’m absolutely a romantic, and have desired romantic love over just about anything else. But I’ve had two very loving long term relationships end because my male partner was unable to value the relationship when we were together, and wound up doing something I couldn’t forgive even if I wanted to out of sheer carelessness. And I know both these men really loved me, were/are heartbroken it ended. I just do not feel equally valued, considered and cared for by the men I have been with, and I think the chances of finding a man who would value me and love me the way I value and love him are very slim. So you kind of have to decouple yourself from that dream, intentionally build a life that’s full without romantic love.

illegallad · 2022-07-17T23:56:18+00:00

Most women I know (ex's, friends, acquaintances, etc.) are far more cynical about dating and romance than men.

sarkington · 2022-07-17T20:34:57+00:00

Romance is difficult to maintain in the presence of information and reality

yamb97 · 2022-07-17T21:12:27+00:00

I do feel like more and more women are just giving up on men altogether, just not worth it for most of them anymore. I can understand how they feel. Not all men for sure, but we see the amount of complaining about the “other child.” With social media and this information at the forefront, a lot of women are able to skip learning this by experience.

redditiasausagefest · 2022-07-18T03:05:35+00:00

I have a friend who is an attractive teacher and natural ectomorph and hasn't dated since the pandemic started and isn't all that interested. She just turned 33 earlier this month.

I've asked her why and she said that me and my boyfriend (we have a great relationship) are the exception and not the rule, and that most relationships are unhealthy and dysfunctional. I couldn't argue with her. That's certainly been my experience before meeting my boyfriend. So I just said, "That's true," and dropped it.

She is indifferent to kids and I am actively hostile to the idea.

Majority of couples I know with kids are not happy.

I think women are just waking up to the reality of romantic relationships. They're extremely high risk. Women are risk-averse. If you don't think the reward is extremely worth it, you're not going to bother.

2022-07-18T02:24:20+00:00

I’ve not become less interested but I don’t really trust a guy to stay loyal

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-07-17T22:09:11+00:00

I think there was just this dumbing down of women in society, literature, and media. Like we're all empty headed soft sentimental and romance obsessed. Women like many people are capable of being pragmatic.

One thing I have noticed with friends is the grand romantic gesture is often received poorly if their significant others are very distant otherwise or very checked out at home. Sometimes it seems like a lot of women feel a romantic relationship just isn't worth all the extra work men bring to their lives.

gofigure62 · 2022-07-17T22:57:31+00:00

I believe that most women realize that men on average are not romantic, and expecting romance is highly unrealistic and childish.

Women can't even get their husband to remember their birthdays, anniversary, or holidays. Thus it doesn't make sense to expect these men to put in the effort or have the consistency to express or maintain romance within a relationship.

Sterotypically men aren't compassionate, thoughtful, or considerate partners. So it doesn't make any sense why women on average would expect men in general to engage in behavior that they collectively don't encompass.

Also, romantic gestures are specific to individuals and requires an attention to detail and ability to personally know someone on an individual level, which men on average don't do. This typically results in a man buying flowers and chocolate for his wife/girlfriend as a romantic gesture, despite her being allergic to both flowers and chocolate. He keeps repeating the behavior, despite her asking him to stop. She gets upset and he pouts and doesn't understand what he did wrong.

Reacting scripts from tv that are considered romantic, isn't a romantic gesture if their partner doesn't want or value those things specifically. Men typically don't care to know or learn what their partners want or value.

sl3epsfortheweak · 2022-07-17T20:08:15+00:00

I think some people don't need it and others do. Maybe that's the problem.

Public_Career_3813 · 2022-07-17T23:35:40+00:00

I’ve been curious about romance, but I was raised in an abusive household where the concept of romance was corrupted for me. So yes, curious but not enough to go out of my way to find or chase it.

modidlee · 2022-07-18T02:52:35+00:00

They’re just really cautious about jumping into longterm committed relationships and tying their life together with a guy nowadays. They still love to talk to men, go out, have sex, etc, but because they probably were in a relationship already that was stressful when it came time to end it I think they want to know it won’t be like that if the “situationship” they’re in needs to end. They don’t want the guy they’re seeing to turn crazy or stalkerish if they start to feel the situation has run it’s course. I guess that’s why I’ve seen some people say women are “serial monogamists” nowadays.

2022-07-18T04:05:49+00:00

Romance still exists and some women still want it. Some want it but have sent the signals long ago that they're not the type you romance.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-07-17T22:39:18+00:00

Men and women need emotional connection the same. But women generally have things to lose out of relationships that men don't. If the couple chooses to have children as most do then her body is being used to do so. The burden of birth control is usually hers along with the burden of unwanted consequences from having sex. She will usually do more housework on moving in with a partner, while her partner will do less. Her happiness on average decreases with marriage, while her partner's increases. She has more to fear in terms of risks of abuse. Same benefits, different costs.

2022-07-17T20:21:25+00:00

Depends on where they live and class position. In more traditional parts of the country women still want romance, dating, marriage, babies. I would say that UMC and wealthy women also still want romance, marriage, babies.

So younger women still want all that.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-07-17T20:25:34+00:00

They are every bit as interested in romance, just not with most men.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-07-18T01:23:35+00:00

Is romance just having a crush on someone and having that reciprocated? Do people not do that anymore?

Swapsta · 2022-07-18T03:09:29+00:00

People realise that love isn't the fairy tale perfect match thing but two people essentially trying to own part of each other, bit hard to describe really.

Really when you realise the true nature of love/companionship then the mystery/desire of it gets less appealing. Older times were different due to women needing to marry someone.

I believe the consensus was that women are the ones more interested in connecting on an emotional level and having stronger feelings about forming long term romantic bonds whereas men were seen as the more reserved, emotionally distant sex who were more afraid of commitment and viewed thing like sex and intimacy from a more superficial standpoint.

Commitment as in marriage yes, because it is functionally useless aside from raising kids. Alot of men don't buy into the inseperable bond/spiritual connection bullshit that is pushed around for marriage, especially with the government involved.

2022-07-17T23:25:16+00:00

I can only speak for myself and say no; however, today's man greatly disappoints.

2022-07-17T20:10:37+00:00

Romance from an attractive man is the only one they truly care about. Romance from any other man is more like just receiving a gift that they may or may not want, and what I mean by that is that the 'romantic' stuff doesn't matter it's literally the equivalent of her getting a new pair of shoes for example.

smallstarseeker · 2022-07-17T23:39:38+00:00

Were women ever interested in romance?

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Mind125 · 2022-07-17T21:01:07+00:00

I’m noticing a similar trend. But notice how there aren’t too many romantic comedies anymore. They don’t do well in the box office. Perhaps people have been disappointed with the promises (and delusions) of romance?

MattPruga · 2022-07-18T12:05:57+00:00

men create romance, women wait

ruboyuri · 2022-07-18T16:44:12+00:00

Just think about what kind of people would be heavily invested in romance in the age of information

Title	Have women become less interested in romance?
Author	Skeletor_70
Upvotes	14
Comments	79
Date	July 17, 2022 5:26 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w1ciqx/have_women_become_less_interested_in_romance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-women-become-less-interested-in-romance.1124104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1124104

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