Q4M: What are some red flags in men and which ones do you think you fall under?

GroundFuzzy606 · 2022-11-09T16:55:11+00:00

Idk if it’s a red flag, but awkward body language is definitely a disadvantage.

Full-Negotiation-775 · 2022-11-09T17:05:38+00:00

In my last relationship I was manipulative with her emotions. It was a two way toxic relationship and we have last since broke up, and I apologised for my behaviour and for my part I’m making the relationship toxic.

I realised that I have issues to work through, and I will not be getting into another relationship until I have fully worked through them.

If I were to get into a relationship before this point, I would be disrespecting my future partner by not being fully healed, and I have since learnt better than to do this and cause pain that doesn’t need to be dealt.

I don’t know how long it will take to the point where I am healed enough to be in another relationship, but i am currently only focused on one day at a time

RougeVengeance · 2022-11-09T22:45:39+00:00

Guys who buy Reddit NFTs

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-11-09T19:04:42+00:00

Well a lot of women view not having social media as a red flag. He’s either a loser with no life or is lying about having one and is hiding something

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-11-09T17:08:53+00:00

As a dude who’s been redpilled for like 8 years now this is how you avoid dudes like me.

Anyone has any strong opinion about the whole relationship podcast, incel, redpill ideas one way or another, has likely indulged with it enough to decide they agree or disagree, but that usually means they found it though the same dating issues and resentments that regular men have.

Anyone who talks entirely too much about their purpose and self improvement, instead of just showing improvement towards their goals daily like they are supposed to anyway.

Men who Aren’t just completely neutral about the things women they aren’t related to. ( loves/ hates sex work, aggressively feminist/ anti feminist, aggressively traditional/ aggressively new age in dating)

Any man who cant identify issues that hinder him from being successful in dating ( things like lacking consistency, having cold feet, accepting non compatibility, not things like height weight)

And the most important in my mind any man who seems to be upset or spiteful that he’s more attractive today then he was in the past instead of being cool with the women who now find him attractive. There’s soo many men who seem to want to punish women today because the women when he was younger didn’t like him, rather then recognizing that this new women here today in front of you finds you attractive.

These few things are almost guaranteed to help a woman stay away from men who are either specifically redpilled or otherwise might be misogynistic

bobcatgoldthwait · 2022-11-09T17:29:58+00:00

Lack of relationship experience.

I'm in my 30's and my longest relationship is six months. Dunno why exactly; I don't meet a lot of women, most of the time when I do there's no mutual interest. The relationships I did end up in, well, they just didn't work out.

But women see that I'm in my late 30's, never married, no kids, never been in a long relationship and they wonder "okay, what's his deal? Does he like to sleep around? Is he married to his career? Is he some kind of weirdo?"

The answer to all of those is no (well, except maybe the last one, but I'm pretty sure I'm only weird in the best of ways!), but I don't blame women for approaching with caution. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to change it. Except maybe lie, but I'm not going to do that.

EmotionalLuck · 2022-11-09T17:36:10+00:00

If a guy doesn't have any friends it's usually a red flag, shows he's either unwilling or unable to have a social life

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-11-09T21:53:49+00:00

which ones do you think you fall under

My biggest red flag is I’m stubborn. Coupled with being a perfectionist, it’s often hard for my partner. To live like I do. So that compromise was, and is at times still is, a challenge.

For men in general poor communication skills. Women generally have far superior communication skills. Both overt and covert. It’s something TRP focuses on too.

Godspeed and good luck!

Philip8000 · 2022-11-09T20:12:37+00:00

My lack of experience is a big red flag. If you're 19-20 and you're still a virgin/never had a relationship, it's not that big a deal. However, if you're in your 30s and lack experience, that's a different matter. There are multiple reasons, but the biggest is being on the autism spectrum. It's why I've said many times social skills play a bigger role than physical appearance, rants about "Chad" notwithstanding.

For other men: if someone has multiple felony convictions, I doubt they're going to be a good partner. Ditto for copious amounts of drug and alcohol consumption. This might sound obvious, but I've seen it play out many times. A coworker decided a gang member would make a good partner and father; nope, he didn't stick around. Or someone who cheats with as many women as he can. Nope, he didn't change.

My Dad spent 38 years in law enforcement and saw far more of it: women insisting they were decent men deep down, they're a bit rough around the edges, etc. A few of them ended up dead as a result.

aphel_ion · 2022-11-09T18:26:41+00:00

A lot of guys are emotionally distant, and I think that’s probably my biggest problem. In terms of red flags, I think just pay attention to how we handle our relationships with our friends and family. If you want an idea of how we would treat you in a long term relationship, look to see how we treat the people we’ve had in our lives a long time. If he’s the kind of person that never calls his mom/dad/siblings and only talks to them when they make the effort to contact him, and if he hasn’t stayed in touch with any of his old friends, colleagues, extended family, then that’s probably a sign he’s going to treat you the same way.

Steakman1 · 2022-11-10T00:55:18+00:00

A few years ago I bashed my ex online for a bunch of bs she did towards the end of our relationship. I specifically only did it on Reddit so it was anonymous and nobody she knows would see it. But still, neither man or woman should bash their exes online even if it’s only Reddit. It’s a red flag and can be pretty trashy.

Overall I think the lesser issue is what the red flags are and the bigger issue is that everyone is always quick to ghost the moment they notice any flaw of any sort. People are expecting near perfection and any noticeable flaw in a person’s personality is seen as a major red flag. Of course there are some obvious certain things that you shouldn’t accept at all.

I’m clearly a critic of TRP. But one of the things I do agree with is that people in general but especially women look for reasons to dismiss someone they’re potentially interested im.

ImStillHavingFun · 2022-11-09T17:31:10+00:00

Fedoras. They’ll likely to bore a woman to death. Man buns. They’re far too Left. Fashy haircuts. They’re far too Right. Tbh, a guy who spends too much time on his physique. He’ll prioritize the gym, not you. I fall under the latter. Up at four to practice forms, then run. Gym after work.

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-11-09T19:36:00+00:00

If he has a personality disorder

If he’s socially inept and awkward

If he brags about materialistic shit

How he treats other men

If he’s extremely smooth and everything he says he has the right response to everything like it’s too good to be true(links back to personality disorder)

If he has no social media presence or refuses to give it out that means he’s a fuckboy and running through the whole neighbourhood. Me and my friends don’t really give out our socials to girls in our rotation out of fear of finding out.

If he’s waffling to why he won’t say his laycount

Not clear in his intent

Broke after 25

Emotionally unavailable

If he behaves like the average man on this sub

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-11-09T17:36:58+00:00

After thinking of myself as a “nerd” my whole life and being a doormat, I found out later in life that I’m good looking and interesting and have an impressive career. Now I’m taking advantage by ghosting tinder dates and cheating all the time. Not healthy, I talk to my therapist about it. However, it definitely hurts less and wastes less time. Should have taken my youth less seriously and had my hoe phase back then. Sorry ladies.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2022-11-09T22:22:00+00:00

The most important thing you need to know about a man is how he acts when things don't go his way.

when he doesn't get what he wants
when something he values is taken from him

If you're going to be in a relationship with him (even just a sexual relationship) eventually, you're going to be the cause of both of those things. It might just be by accident - you might wreck his car or something. You probably don't want to be surprised by how he reacts.

Peacesquad · 2022-11-09T21:18:46+00:00

There’s many I don’t agree with that are utterly stupid. A red flag for a guy is bad hygiene and low self esteem. Men have a larger burden of performance in life period especially when it comes to attracting and retaining the opposite sex. Women do not

Hoopy223 · 2022-11-10T02:41:06+00:00

Not really a good question for guys tbh.

Vast majority of red flags that women point out are typically unattractive things and not necessarily “red flags”. Like if a guy is shy or otherwise socially unskilled. Or divorced and single for a long time (commitment phobic?). Some are valid like if the guy is a lazy ass.

Real red flags are things like criminality, rampant dishonesty, loudmouth/aggressive/controlling behaviors, all of which can be a net positive for short-term dating.

Guys do the exact same thing. Every guy has dated a woman who is a bundle of red flags because she was hot. I’ve done it like 3-4 times lol. Men seem to be more honest about it though. I think it’s one area where guys are more honest with themselves than women are with themselves.

Signal_Adeptness_724 · 2022-11-09T18:37:37+00:00

Extremely flighty. Bored easily.

I would get "too busy" all of a sudden a lot after having an emotional high doing something exciting and fun. She has a great time now wondering what's going on with me. Sorry my grandma, my dog, my work, too tired, excuses excuses. Now she's wondering if I really like her, didn't we have a great time?? She's all confused, and then all of a sudden Im back and its great. Week later im "busy" again and slowly fade. If she's desperate she'll work even harder to regain my attention. After enough time she gives up.

I feel bad now. But back then nah didn't give a fuck. I was a bad guy but i liked being the bad dude for once.

webernicke · 2022-11-09T23:44:40+00:00

Living with parents (as a westerner) is exactly the red flag women think it is.

The only excuse I would make is that moving out isn't as simple as just deciding to up and do it one day for everyone, as far as I can tell.

I'm very very lucky to have a good enough job now to maybe barely start thinking about moving out, I have no idea how everyone manages to do it at like age 20 in a trendy part of NYC even with roommates.

Feels like I missed a class that everyone else took or something.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2022-11-09T20:51:19+00:00

You know those giant flags they have at stadiums, or state capitols.....that's me

Mostly female friends, my best friend is a very attractive woman with Mermaid energy.

Divorced, but has an amazing relationship with my ex wife, we still hangout and do things together. She's also very attractive with mermaid energy. Coincidentally, her and my best friend look like sisters.

I have 3 children, 2 of which are adult daughters.

This isn't a humble brag, because it definitely causes me to lose out on potential relationships: I'm a bit too much on target with everything. I'm tall in real life, not just on Tinder. I always know the right thing to say, I have an answer for everything, quick witted, able to hold a conversation on almost any topic from Astro physics to tulip fever, the 27 club, to fashion. I'm legitimately a 3rd/4th wave intersectional feminist in philosophy and practice. All of those things lead a woman to tell me this " You're undateable for lots of women, you have too many options" I recently lost on a woman for this very reason.

My body count😬 I don't believe in slut shaming, but in my youth I was a whore, imagine if you were a D1 athlete at a mid major school...those were the kind of numbers I put up. Most women don't ask, but if they do I'm honest and will tell the truth.

I don't hold very many things as sacred

My emotions are closely guarded, and I'm hard to read.

I do have a questionable past, and connections to some questionable people( I could never work for the fbi, but the CIA might use me in limited roles)

I have never been violent to a woman, and I am rarely ever angry. However, when that flip is switched it's explosive and I'm very familiar with the application of violence to solve a problem ( sometimes it is what it is)

The biggest red flag though, I just don't really care that much. Women are used to guys that chase them, or aggressively pursue them, and that's not me.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-11-09T16:55:42+00:00

I’m a unapologetic former Frat guy, meathead, extroverted lifting bro. I am the asshole you mom told you to avoid. but who wants to listen to their parents all their lives anyways?

Mydragonurdungeon · 2022-11-09T17:21:39+00:00

Lack of empathy. I don't want to sympathize.

I also don't want to "wait till we calm down" to talk about an issue. It is a very tall order to get me mad but once I'm mad I'm very very mad. I feel this is justified because I gave several opportunities and calm requests before I get angry.

ChudBuck · 2022-11-09T22:20:30+00:00

Inability to handle criticism, an unhealthy ego that hinders a man's progress.

Ghost_Hound · 2022-11-10T00:24:42+00:00

I guess my biggest red flag would be being in my mid-30s and still the subculturally-inclined musician. Get past that, I'm a colossal nerd with fringe interests. Get past *that* and you realize that not only do I not want kids but I actively walk around the world with an abundance mindset brought on by continued positive experiences and that gets in people's craws at time. I have never and will never be the sort to bring home to the family and that sits well with me but I could see how that'd ring alarm bells in the heads of most women with a modicum of sense or a desire to live a normal life. Genuinely no shade on such people but I've outright broken up with people for asking me to be more reasonable in my life. I don't regret it but god damn does it seem unhinged looking at it objectively.

abaxeron · 2022-11-10T08:15:15+00:00

I'm a divorcee. Judging by the numbers, it's quite not a "good things" predictor.

Are there "red flags" you don't agree with?

Considering that I've seen women calling a man rapist for ever looking at entertainment content with female nudity, most definitely yes.

None0fYour8usiness · 2022-11-10T22:24:30+00:00

Not taking no for an answer.

If she says no, it fucking means no. Leave. If she's just playing some clown tier games, you're better of without her anyway.

As far as my red flags, probably the biggest one currently is that I'm contextually misogynistic, specifically in the context of dating.

Outside of that, I'm pretty chill with women, and somehow managed to get to a point where more than 50% of my friends are female.

Clown world, I tell you.

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Many-Leader2788 · 2022-11-09T21:55:11+00:00

Greed

The history strongest wheel

I hope to follow in Tadeusz Mazowiecki's steps and not get infatuated with it.

cromulent_weasel · 2022-11-10T00:33:40+00:00

The biggest red flag about me is that I have kids, and they are always going to come first over a future romantic relationship.

OG_walrus · 2022-11-10T07:35:33+00:00

BOY OH BOY WHERE DO I START

West_Inside5129 · 2022-11-13T00:33:54+00:00

social_mule · 2022-11-13T23:59:50+00:00

I lack emotional empathy. I would consider that a red flag.

Title	Q4M: What are some red flags in men and which ones do you think you fall under?
Author	GroundFuzzy606
Upvotes	15
Comments	125
Date	November 9, 2022 4:44 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yqo8ox/q4m_what_are_some_red_flags_in_men_and_which_ones/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-what-are-some-red-flags-in-men-and-which-ones.1139244 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139244

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