Do you reject men differently if you perceive them to be in your league versus if you perceive them to be below your league?

saraimarsena · 2022-11-30T22:43:35+00:00

no, i reject men differently based on their approach, regardless of how i determine that they compare to me.

if a man is rude, crass, or invasive of my personal space, my first instinct is just to get as far away as possible and end the interaction. this goes regardless of what league I think he’s in.

assuming he’s polite, I reject either man pretty much the same. A simple “No thanks, I’m not interested, sorry.” or “I don’t give out my socials”. I might be willing to continue the interaction with polite conversation, but again that goes back to how he approached, not his perceived league.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-11-30T23:55:17+00:00

There’s a special kind of alchemy that determines the appropriate response.

Some of the ingredients are:

Politeness/respectfulness (or lack of) of the approach.

Potential danger (environment).

Age of the gentleman -much younger gets bemused kindness, much older gets overtly amused “c’mon, you know better” kindness (both assuming that the approach was respectful and not sexual).

League/attractiveness has so to do with it but not in the way you’re thinking. I’m actually likely to be far gentler and kinder to the shy, homely guy than the cocky studly guy.

I get that approaching can be nerve wracking to some / most. I try very hard to be as kind as possible as long as I’m approached respectfully.

If I’m approached in a rude or sexually charged way I tend to be a bit more “direct” unless doing so may directly endanger me. Those who react badly would generally do so regardless of how they are rejected, so there’s no reason to be unkind to the polite or kind to the impolite (again, unless there’s an immediate danger in which case appeasement is worth a try).🤷‍♀️

MuchMethod7039 · 2022-11-30T22:32:44+00:00

No. Suffices. If I’m not interested I say no, regardless of league. No is a full sentence.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-11-30T22:40:53+00:00

No but I may reject them differently if I know them versus them cold approaching.

northernlights190 · 2022-11-30T22:25:30+00:00

I’d say yes, in the way that I’m thinking.

I’m never mean to anyone. But if it’s someone “within my league” or above it, it’s usually someone I want to maintain a positive social relationship with, so I’ll make sure to be friendly about it.

If it’s someone I wouldn’t want anything to do with, aka someone I see as “below my league,” I mostly just endeavour to give them as little response as possible because I don’t want to encourage any further contact whatsoever.

So: the old drunk guy with the stained handlebar mustache at the bar asking me to join him is gonna get a brief “no thank you” with no eye contact and very closed body language, where a guy I see as a social peer would get a friendly conversation and a more gentle decline.

bootsthehoused0wn · 2022-11-30T22:15:39+00:00

I became good at it so no, my attitude and response is the same

pinktuliplover · 2022-11-30T22:29:17+00:00

Below my league and in my league receive standard, polite apologies. Above my league (financially and socially) I’ll be polite but with an emphasis on wanting to keep a positive social connection with them. Don’t wanna burn any bridges as I try to navigate to a better social circle essentially.

EulenWatcher · 2022-11-30T23:34:12+00:00

I reject men differently depending on how close they are to me in my social circle. I.e. the more I know the guy, the more gentle I try to be with him. If you’re a stranger and don’t get my first no right, I’m gonna just walk away.

KekeSmall · 2022-12-01T01:53:31+00:00

No. It’s all based on his approach. Even if I’m not interested. How he handles rejection will say a lot about him.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2022-12-01T03:14:32+00:00

No. My attitude in rejection is entirely dependent upon his approach. A courteous man gets a polite rejection, an aggressive man gets an angry rejection. I oftentimes find myself being ruder to more conventionally attractive men because I'm perceived as an "easy target" and they're flabbergasted and offended when they get rebuffed.

NthKnife · 2022-12-01T04:53:48+00:00

No, it's the same. It only changes if they get persistent or rude/follow me/demand "why not?"

Kizka · 2022-12-01T05:40:59+00:00

I base my rejection on the kind of approach, not on the man. If you approach politely and respectfully, I will answer in kind. If you start with a gross and oversexual approach I will tell you to go fuck yourself.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-11-30T22:08:22+00:00

i tend to reject everyone the same.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-11-30T22:54:40+00:00

Depends on how I’m approached.

A polite approach will get a polite rejection.

A sexual approach with get a rude rejection, the unattractive dude would likely get a ruder rejection. Halo effect and all but I think it depends on the setting.

I was approached by a random man while walking home alone one night, he asked me if I wanted to grab a drink I awkwardly told him no, he said he’d pay me, I even more awkwardly said no then booked it as fast as I could away from him given I was not in a safe environment.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-11-30T22:16:38+00:00

I'm usually polite to a fault. I'm never vague in my response, but I sometimes honestly should be more rude in these situations. It has nothing to do with the "leagues" of guys that approach, I'm not even rude when creepy older men do it.

Vegetable-Rub3418 · 2022-11-30T23:02:27+00:00

Yes they do. Of course they will try to tell you different because they don't want to seem narcissistic

MOProG2 · 2022-12-01T07:27:19+00:00

Just thought Id throw in a perspective...

Men assume that women like what guys like. As in men assume that what men see as an attractive man matches with what women think is an attractive man. Here's one thing to prove that point...how often have you ever noticed a man's watch or shoes? Well women look at that minor stuff all the time. Also the subconscious stuff that displays confidence.

So this is all to say that there are leagues but many guys are pretty bad of gauging how they rank. They assume the most handsome man in their eyes is a 10.

uglysaladisugly · 2022-12-01T12:19:20+00:00

No... I reject them differently depending of my perception of how confident they are.

I will reject nicely a guy ugly or not who shows stress signs or who shows signs he knows I don't owe him anything.

But the over confident handsome guy coming with the "I know you want me attitude " will one : dry my vagina in a second, two: will experience my will to crush his worldviews in which he's the center of the universe.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-12-01T13:05:14+00:00

I reject men that seemed nervous nicely and those that are more confident in a more blunt way

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-12-01T14:52:03+00:00

I reject men depending on how likely their reaction will present itself as a danger

gofigure62 · 2022-12-01T14:52:09+00:00

How I reject men depends on how they approach me. I don't like being bothered when I'm clearly busy. I also don't take kindly to men that are rude, pushy, aggressive, or won't take no for an answer.

If someone is nice, polite, and clearly respectful of my time then I'll respectfully reject them.

If they're an asshole, then I'll also be an asshole.

AquaChip · 2022-12-01T15:02:06+00:00

Of course it’s different. You want to be as stoic, quick and indifferent as you can when rejecting the crack head trying to hit on you at the gas station. As harsh as it sounds, it’s embarrassing to get it hit by a guy who is perceived by society as low status. I’m not going to be mean to them because it’s not in my nature, but I’m definitely not going to carry a conversation with them after they’ve flirted.

When rejecting someone above my league, I’ll make conversation with them, might even flirt back a little before ultimately rejecting them. May get their Instagram and LinkedIn as well. Who knows, he could help me get a job later.

rft24 · 2022-12-01T15:17:15+00:00

no? if i’m not interested then i’m just not interested, it doesn’t have to be a thing about leagues.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-01T18:27:34+00:00

I always did it based on how they approached me, unless I felt afraid of them.

MistyMaisel · 2022-12-01T19:46:40+00:00

It all comes down to the approach, just being honest. If he's a friendly human who seems non-threatening and like he's going to take no for an answer, I try to be as kind and gentle as I know how.

Has nothing to do with how he looks. Perhaps, if he's quite charming and just not my thing and a girlfriend is around, I'll try to connect him with another girl there who may be more his speed.

ziriani · 2022-12-01T22:36:05+00:00

NO. Absolutely not. I hate when people treat others like shit when they view them as being below their league in any context. The only thing that determines how I reject a guy (assuming I’m not afraid of him) is how respectful he is when speaking to me. I think it’s really important to be kind to someone who was brave enough to muster the courage to cold approach, so long as they do so respectfully. Rejection’s tough, so if I can make it easier to deal with I’ll do it.

Oli_love90 · 2022-11-30T22:23:36+00:00

No, it took a lot of courage to reach out and talk to anyone plus I’m always generally polite to strangers who are trying to talk to me for whatever reason. Whenever I’m hit on, I’m usually flattered and surprised so overall I’m not rude about it, maybe a little awkward. If for some reason I think he’s “below my league” I’m not annoyed that someone I find ugly or whatever hit on me.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-12-01T00:42:48+00:00

"That's so sweet! Thank you so much, but I'd prefer for us to be platonic. See you around, okay?"

Boom, stick to the template regardless of circumstances. Makes things very simple.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-12-01T01:30:29+00:00

I was always equally a bitch to all of them. It's important to kill all feeling to prevent pining.

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JumboJetz · 2022-11-30T23:27:36+00:00

Are women going to tell the truth on here? Is anyone going to say I laughed in the fat, short pimply guys face when he asked me out in the club?

ClaraBow01 · 2022-12-01T05:15:39+00:00

No. I don’t perceive other people as being “in my league”. That’s like Middle School logic.

Title	Do you reject men differently if you perceive them to be in your league versus if you perceive them to be below your league?
Author	Head-Language-2977
Upvotes	5
Comments	53
Date	November 30, 2022 9:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z94hvg/do_you_reject_men_differently_if_you_perceive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-reject-men-differently-if-you-perceive-them.1141223 https://theredarchive.com/post/1141223

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