Is it normal to find your ex wife incredibly attractive ?

ragingredditir · 2022-12-10T13:46:08+00:00

If you didn’t find her incredibly attractive you prob wouldn’t have married her in the first place. I don’t think this is weird

jimsmythee · 2022-12-10T15:18:31+00:00

It is euphoric recall. You’re only remembering the good times. That’s what you’re finding attractive. A memory.

jaymo54 · 2022-12-10T16:34:47+00:00

Sometimes during sex I find myself thinking about my ex wife. But that’s just because my new wife is really hot and I don’t want to finish too quickly

sicrm · 2022-12-10T13:15:46+00:00

in your last post you said you were a simp for her and she is the mother of your kids so it does take time.

an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn).

if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.

InWeGoNow · 2022-12-10T14:51:01+00:00

I don't think it's weird. I thought my ex was attractive before I married her and after. No doubt some other unlucky soul will fall into that same trap as I did.

azwildcat74 · 2022-12-10T15:23:41+00:00

I can’t see it this way at all, every time I see my ex or even hear her voice it makes me recoil.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2022-12-10T20:56:04+00:00

My ex is an attractive woman and before I found out about her affair, I always thought I was a lucky SOB to have her and her be the one to give me 2 beautiful children. However, after the affair, she is no longer attractive in my eyes and all of her small flaws which I never saw before are now front and center. I can't help look at her now and be disgusted by her character and actions.

Truly crazy to witness this shift....

Gattsama · 2022-12-10T15:52:51+00:00

Attraction is a combination of external appearance (including dress, style, energy), mental (including personality, hobbies, interests, attitude, energy) and fantasy! So when you say she's incredibly attractive what are you referring too?

For me the eX has a horrible mental state and there is zero fantasy. Externally she's overweight / obese and although she has good style, it just doesn't mean anything. When we were together I truly didn't care about her weight at all. I thought she was hot and wanted to be with her physically. Once I stop being able to give her grace, saw how manipulative, emotionally abusive and mentally abusive she was; I lost all physical attraction.

I look back at pictures (I haven't yet erased or new ones I find) and think 'wow she really looks unattractive / fat.' Haven't seen your eX, so can't so for sure what is happening with you. Maybe she is externally hot, but maybe you are still in a mental fog about her or based on your previous posts; still heavy into fantasy! And anyone can be attractive in fantasy.

Rustic_Father · 2022-12-10T15:01:02+00:00

Don’t do it. There was a reason you got divorced

BeachGuy91 · 2022-12-10T15:44:59+00:00

Ah no. Mine is a hag

Aromatic_Boot3629 · 2022-12-10T21:11:29+00:00

My ex was and still is incredibly gorgeous with an amazing body. Which is exactly why younger me decided to ignore all the red flags she was throwing.

Yes, I still find her attractive in a physical sense...but then I think about the endless bullshit she put me through and I get over it fast.

Godspeed to the next guy she sinks her claws into.

James1933-75 · 2022-12-10T14:44:11+00:00

Guess it depends on the situation surrounding the divorce.

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2022-12-10T15:25:46+00:00

Cant relate. I feel my stomach turn everytime I see my ex.

Fun-Possible7676 · 2022-12-10T15:30:03+00:00

omg-its-bacon · 2022-12-10T17:25:22+00:00

It’s weird isn’t it?

We have kids and have to still parent closely with our special needs son who is 6 now. He has autism/ADHD.

Anyway, she’s a special kind messed up and I still find her attractive. I don’t hate her, but I need to let it go. We slept together the other day as I stayed at her place to watch the kids so she could go to Christmas party. She came back late and tipsy.

😑

We’ve been apart almost 2 years. And I fucked her brains out. I thought I had ED.

Guess I’m not over it yet.

Anyway…I feel you man.

broakie212 · 2022-12-10T21:20:56+00:00

Everyone around me keeps telling me how good looking my ex is and I could careless. She’s a good looking woman but she’s just another broad out of billions

hellsongs · 2022-12-10T13:24:57+00:00

There’s nothing hotter than a chick that you feel like you have to fight for their interest. I get it.

vector5633 · 2022-12-10T18:39:53+00:00

I find that I see my X-wife as the ugliest piece of shit cunt that has ever walked this planet. I'm not looking at her in a physical way, but what's really inside that rotten soul she has.

4rdfun · 2022-12-10T18:43:30+00:00

It's probably why you put up with her bullshit. Mine didn't age well, no longer hot, helps a lot with the divorce.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-12-10T14:51:49+00:00

Not a good sign.

Have you addressed your family of origin issues?

Dat_Steve · 2022-12-10T17:44:35+00:00

Not for me man. Barf* is all I think

coldfuser · 2022-12-10T18:22:51+00:00

After a number of betrayals and terrible divorce, I was cured if any attraction to my ex. She looks really gross to me now. Good for yours prioritizing the coparenting relationship over selfishness

bayouboeuf · 2022-12-10T20:11:47+00:00

I have not read any of your other posts nor responses, but I will say this: it depends on how your marriage ended and also depends on the quality of your sex life during the marriage/before the marriage.

That being said, it’s an emotional attachment you can break and overcome. And you need to do that to move on to other healthy relationships with other women.

CaliDude75 · 2022-12-10T20:45:19+00:00

Not especially. She wasn't/isn't unattractive. It was mainly the mismatch in our personalities and expectations that drove us apart. I still consider her objectively somewhat attractive.

I actually don't have a particularly strong dislike for her, as strange as that sounds (we are divorced, after all). The last few years of our marriage, I kind of alternated between indifference and contempt, probably leaning more toward the latter the closer I got to dropping the D-bomb.

COnewbie719 · 2022-12-11T04:10:09+00:00

There were some parts I appreciated about her but that is total objectification. Doing it with her was mostly awful and I’m glad I got rid of her. Decent body but vile soul.

One-Donkey-9418 · 2022-12-11T12:52:54+00:00

I'll say it again as I just told a good friend juggling a few women at the same time. SIMPLIFY. YOU ARE THE PRIZE. Y'all getting that back there in the cheap seats?

Title	Is it normal to find your ex wife incredibly attractive ?
Author	Loftybalddude
Upvotes	13
Comments	49
Date	December 10, 2022 1:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zhs1kn/is_it_normal_to_find_your_ex_wife_incredibly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-it-normal-to-find-your-ex-wife-incredibly.1142225 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142225

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