What are your thoughts on the idea of AF/BB?

BaldOprah · 2022-12-04T23:39:39+00:00

Are there attractive, confident men who have sex more often with more women on average? Yes.

Are there less confident and attractive men who wifed up gold diggers or "ran through" women who maybe don't treat them so well? Absolutely.

Do these two types of men make up the majority of the male population? Hell no.

Salty_Rate_1987 · 2022-12-05T01:13:55+00:00

Overblown considering the fact that even some of the most geeky/unattractive guys I knew in undergrad still managed to have casual sex if they wanted it.

I think men prefer to see "alphas" as their retroactive jealousy competition rather than the nerd their wife fucked from the parliamentary debate trip because she was horny and he was available.

boomcheese44 · 2022-12-05T00:33:39+00:00

Chad is real, but rare. Most men are invisible to unattractive. You can draw your own conclusions knowing that the world isnt exactly black and white.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2022-12-05T01:51:20+00:00

It's bullshit. There isn't a glut of 21-year-old men pining for marriage but who can't find anyone cause all the 21-year-old women are blowing Chad. Both sexes spend their 20s figuring themselves out - who they are, what they want, what their values are - and then then seek to settle down (if they are relationship-inclined) towards the mid-to-late 20s. A minority of women engage in regular casual sex, and of those who do "Chad" isn't the only one having it with them.

Women are human beings who want a partner who they're attracted to and compatible with, just like men. The idea that most or all of us are inadvertently delaying seeking a serious partner because we've had so much Chad dick and are intent on locking that down is stupid on the face of it. Most of us are serial monogamists in relationships with regular men regardless of age group.

_revelationary · 2022-12-04T23:40:57+00:00

I disagree with the assumption that most men are either alpha or beta. I’ve rarely met anyone who so simply falls into one category or the other.

What I agree with is that all humans have different standards for different types of social interactions. So yeah, a hot guy might seem like a fun casual ONS. Appearance may not matter as much for a relationship if you love spending time with someone, they’re stable and ready to commit, and there’s a baseline level of attraction there.

What I disagree with completely is the idea that most women begin to lose value at a certain age and “settle” for a beta provider type because they can’t land a “Chad.”

KikiYuyu · 2022-12-05T02:13:39+00:00

As a ubiquitous female trait, it's total bullshit. Another problem is that the "betas" get painted as universally despised by women for the crime of being... decent and stable men.

There are people, both men and women, who want to spend their youth fucking around, but age and start wanting something else. It's not universal for either sex, period.

learn2earn89 · 2022-12-04T23:40:12+00:00

I think men and women do the same shit. I’ve seen dudes fuck around (doesn’t have to be Chad) and then when they hit their 30s all of a sudden they’re feeling lonely and will take a more plain girl. Same shit, different packaging.

Pitiful_Maiden · 2022-12-05T04:33:29+00:00

It is indeed true, many women sleep around in their youth with fuckboys and later settle with men they would have otherwise ignored. However, in my experience, women don't do it consciously like "I'm gonna fuck attractive men while i''m young and hot and in my 30s i'll find a beta to provide for me".

It is not at all a conscious process. However, between women there is an underlying acknowledgement of the phenomenon. Like, the biggest hoes know that if they are unable to land an Alpha in their 20s they'll at least be able to marry the guys they ignore now.

The only girls i know who rejected the dual mating tactics are the virgins waiting for marriage who acknowledge when a guy is kind or hardworking.

Like, i've never seen a hoe call a man "nice and hardworking" in a genuine way but the virgins seem to be able to acknowledge men's qualities. My personal hypothesis is that girls who wait are likely low-libido, thus they aren't as easily attracted to physical appearance.

Back on topic, no self-respecting men would marry a hoe. Ya'll shouldn't be a hoe's last resort when she never even looked at you when she was young.

EulenWatcher · 2022-12-04T23:24:20+00:00

Dating for fun is something both genders do and requirements for something casual and for LTRs are different both for men and women. So there’s something similar to what TRP tries to discuss, but I think they heavily exaggerate and oversimplify.

First of all, I don’t believe a lot of women practice what TRP claims they do. Not everyone is into casual and people generally try to marry partners they’re actually attracted to, women aren’t an exception here.

Secondly, TRP is over concentrated on women who do it. I guess because either it’s the subset of women they’re attracted to or because the only women they can get.

Thirdly, how bad being a Beta depends on your definition of one. Some men here claim that anyone married is beta and I believe that a lot of families men are genuinely content with their lifestyle. Being taken advantage of and having a partner who only uses you for money is awful though.

WindowVisible1942 · 2022-12-05T01:27:54+00:00

If you're looking for a long term relationship why would you want to be friends with benefits? Because that's all what this is. Y'all don't like a woman who sleeps around with different men yet you want to sleep around with different women which would mean that you won't be able to find a pure woman who hasn't slept with other men.

Y'all need to think before you post these comments and threads.

2022-12-05T17:11:52+00:00

According to this idea, a woman is "settling" if she marries a guy who isn't the most alpha guy she's been with.

A woman saying she values traits such as kindness and humour are mocked as being lies. Saying she was attracted to traits such as wonky noses and belly gut are said to be lies. Being attracted to tall height is scorned. Women's sexuality on here is just mocked and scorned all the time.

In the real world people date the person that they want by their side during the rough times, to sleep next to, to have kids with. Pure sex appeal of course figures into that, but to deny that a woman may be searching for "husband material" has been twisted into the lie that is AF/BB.

Koipisces · 2022-12-05T04:35:55+00:00

The problem with a lot of these discussions is that love is taken out of the occasion. I’m pretty sure that for the long term, men want love & commitment, and even romance. Making fun of men who eventually get the girl to settle down with him is something I don’t understand. Having lots of sex, even as a guy, isn’t much of an achievement. Having a woman who wants to be there in your life to support you and raise a family with you sounds like a bigger achievement than having many girls want you for your body and some hot fun. I’m sure even the fckboi life gets lonely after awhile. You only had her body, he has her heart and commitment, who is really winning? Also, fckbois are a turn off for LTR.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2022-12-04T23:18:51+00:00

It's absolute nonsense. The whole alpha/beta thing is nonsense too.

I want to date someone who's nice to me and gets along with me. I'm in college planning to go into a field where I'll make really good money, and I'm fine with the idea of dating someone who would rather stay home and take care of our house that work full time.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2022-12-05T01:24:17+00:00

It’s true. Don’t have to be egotistical or shame anyone, but it’s real. Go from being an overweight person and having an active social life with enough money to have some fun in college but couldn’t splice like crazy or anything. You were instantly a cool genuine person but instantly friendzoned. Anyone who thought I was decent enough to go out in a date with would make me jump through hoops or wait that 2-3 month trial period before sexy time(s) ahead of any happened until “they werent ready for a relationship” but 2 weeks later you see them in a relationship with someone else. Live and learn.

Fast forward 6 months and I lost 80 pounds. People no longer made me wait 2-4 months and i could meet someone at a party or in-between classes and hook up same day if not date number 1-2-3. Nothing about me changed other than my weight. Photos of myself and whoever I was dating was an instant social media post and introduced to all their friends + family.

If you’ve been both people, you see it. No hate at anyone, but the more you apply the rules of 1 be attractive and 2 don’t be unattractive, being “chad” or someone attractive enough to get sex faster if not instantly your entire life perspective of dating and courting gets shattered and your realities clash.

Friends get upset when they hear about your sex live after becoming attractive and they get no play/prospects for a date or two, but at the same time it makes you more picky on who you actually date and take time before hopping into a relationship because “Omg a woman likes me hello instant girlfriend”

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-12-05T01:45:27+00:00

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Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-12-05T02:39:03+00:00

AF - cads like Picasso (watch the TV series and you’ll see…)

Ewwwww

BB - fat, balding, dull dudes who attract gold diggers

Ewwwww

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-12-04T23:50:17+00:00

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GarPaxarebitches · 2022-12-05T01:17:32+00:00

100% true since 9-10/10 guys can actually have casual sex a lot with women. 6-8/10 guys rarely get to have casual sex with even average women. 0-5/10 will rarely even get casual sex from 0/10 women.

Basically, if you're not pretty damn attractive, women are almost entirely going to be interest in sex with you within the confines of a relationship. If you're a 10/10 under 30, almost every chick who does casual sex is willing to do it with you.

The other thing would be 10/10 guy never encounters women who purposefully withhold sex for a certain # of dates or months. Average guys, have less raw sexual/physical desire from women, so much higher chance their girlfriend waits way longer in a Cosmo Magazine, how to get a serious relationship, kind of way.

Even in general, 10/10 guys can get a 1st date with most women, average guys much smaller number.

sinistralia · 2022-12-05T01:39:23+00:00

Engaging with exciting but incompatible or downright screwed up people while young seems quite common with both sexes, as does settling down with someone less exciting who you can viably build a life with.

You just don’t see women obsessing about their boyfriends’ wild sex and intense romance of a crazy girl he used to know, or whining about how her husband just sucks her dry for her resources - money (teens and early 20s take note - your female peers are likely to currently outearn you), reproductive labour, an outsized amount of housework and childrearing while she works a 9-to-5 too. Even though both of those things are often true.

MistyMaisel · 2022-12-05T03:45:56+00:00

I'm sure some guys who fit the alpha part of that spectrum exist, but no, I wouldn't say they're enough to make up some sort of confident worldview about any sort of system.

I'm sure there is also some guys fitting the beta part of that spectrum. Probably a few more of them just given the fact it's pretty easy to be a spineless average looking wallet compared to a 10/10 godmode alpha hottie. But again, I would not say there's enough of this relationship style or person to lead to some sort of confident worldview.

I mostly think people struggle to find people they're compatible and happy with for all sorts of reasons especially since most of them start pretty young (15ish). And then silly gooses try to hold them to whatever they wanted when they were 15 as the most real representation of who they are deep down inside. Because remember, you cannot mature. You cannot change. You cannot learn. You cannot adapt or grow. Whatever the dumbest version of yourself is, that's the real you.

You couldn't possibly find a man who is stable, attractive enough, and that you share plenty in common with attractive more so than a hot alpha baddie who you wanted at 15.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-12-05T06:57:03+00:00

It's bullshit.

Most girls lust after their boyfriends, in addition to liking their personality. Otherwise there is no reason why a 20 year old girl would be in a relationship at all.

Most women today work and don't require being financially supported. Most women also aren't there having loads of casual sex in their early to mid 20s.

I have no idea how every woman on the Earth thinks, so I suppose there are some women who operate on the AF/BB principle. To call it a biological imperative for women is wrong, in my opinion.

Necessary-Worry1923 · 2022-12-05T03:39:28+00:00

All the men who are obsessed with the 403 women who were in the hookup culture in their college years ( approx. 25% of women) should listen to a lecture by Lisa Wade.

https://youtu.be/DTN0MMH3Rb8

Majority of women are serial monogamists and did not participate in the hookup culture as most redditors assume.

Many women who did play the 403 game do end up regretting the events.

https://youtu.be/HTkjgE6t2CM

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-12-04T23:48:23+00:00

I don’t think there’s any truth too it,

I think guys are looking at the guys that are sleeping around and think he’s an “alpha” but if they looked a bit closed they’d see he has multiple children he doesn’t see, the women he sleeps with are all riddled with STI’s and mental trauma, borderling on prostitution.

The “beta” guys their soo scared to end up like, take a closer look at them, their usually fat, middle-aged , balding men that complain they don’t have enough sex, yet they generally live quite well, nice house, savings, eat well and can afford holidays, 2incomes, wife and kids, eg someone to grow old with and kids to watch grow up.

I’ll be honest I can’t understand why teenage boys think the latter is the worst thing that can happen to a man, but the grown ups around us knows that whist sex is important in a relationship, there are other equally important parts in a relationship, like companionship and similar values.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-12-05T00:36:44+00:00

i mean, sure, i think there are men and instances that fit the idea of AF/BB. but i think it largely ignores a whole swath of men in the middle

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-12-05T11:41:48+00:00

Well, the reality is that Beta men sleep around as well. And I am talking about hot Betas, they’re usually social and charismatic.

Think of famous pretty boys/men like Tomothee Chamalet, Tom Hiddleston and “hot” chill types like Henry Cavill or

syndactylity · 2022-12-06T16:24:05+00:00

It’s proof that the people who hold this idea are sexists who think only women do bad things

goats-egg · 2022-12-06T19:12:43+00:00

I think it's true but ONLY for a small set of the population. Or maybe it's some white people shit I don't know about and it's in fact the majority... But from my impression of living in America, it's an incredibly minor issue. Like maybe it applies mostly to OLD and that's it.

There is already a fundamental issue where I really don't think women go out of their way to fuck so often. Women on this sub already talk about how they don't need sex as bad as men need it, so how it became "women only fuck alpha chads!!" is strange to me... Occam's razor, but maybe instead of fucking "beta men" they're just fucking nobody at all?

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aintnufincleverhere · 2022-12-05T14:07:15+00:00

I don't know what you're talking about

2022-12-07T03:28:32+00:00

My ex was pretty big in this stuff and I never really understood it much. He was pretty adamant that he was an AF. With my current boyfriend I don’t even know where to start. He works as a police officer and carries himself pretty well in that aspect, but also can have an emotional side to him to. He protects me and is dominant when he needs to be and opens up to me at other times too. Either way he gets me off so I’m not upset. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Title	What are your thoughts on the idea of AF/BB?
Author	DrinkItInMan11
Upvotes	4
Comments	165
Date	December 4, 2022 10:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zcolzk/what_are_your_thoughts_on_the_idea_of_afbb/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-your-thoughts-on-the-idea-of-afbb.1142907 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142907

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