One thing I’ve noticed from having spoken to many people (both women and men) about this topic is that a man that a woman considers “average” (as a dating prospect) is actually way above average. Probably a guy in the 70th or even 80th percentile.

Statistically, if you were to sample 100 completely random men, including some smelly bum at the bottom all the way up to a Calvin Klein model at the top, the average man would be a guy who is legit in the middle of the pack, around 50th place, give or take a couple of spots.

However, when women say “average guy” this is not at all who they are referring to. Most guys women consider average in their minds are probably some guy who makes it into the top 20 or 30 in the lineup of 100 random men.

The guys who are statistically average are all considered “below average” in the minds of women looking for a partner, regardless of what her standing is compared to other women.

This certainly would explain why women think “average guys do fine in the dating scene” — literally because the guys they think are average are above average men.

When a woman calls a man cute, handsome, or attractive, they are almost always referring to a man who is in the 90+ percentile, or in the top 10 guys among the 100 who were sampled.

This isn’t me complaining that women’s standards are too high or that average guys aren’t getting a shot. What I’m advocating is that proper terminology should be used to describe what is average, above average, below average, etc. It’s possible that people just have a poor grasp of statistics and that’s why the term “average” is so often misused. However, we can’t have productive conversations about how average men can do to be successful in the dating market until both men and women are in agreement of what “average” actually means.