I find it very disingenuous how podcasts and interviews almost exclusively represent women who are in sex work and are obviously only there to promote their OF or whatever.

Even in street interviews - it’s very telling that they lurk outside bars to talk to women who are drunk and probably weren’t expecting to debate some randomer. Are they too scared to go up against someone sober and coherent?

And I’m sure we’ve all seen the video of women talking about how much they’d want their man to earn and some of them saying ridiculous things (like 300k in order to live comfortably).

Men who buy into this narrative that all women are money hungry scroungers have just been successfully misread and rage baited. They count on you not having experience with women in real life, so it’s very easy to feed you this idea of what we are because you have no reference to compare it to.

I’m university educated and work in investment banking, so I accept that my circle of women I know are also not the typical average. Even so, I’ve always had a decent social life meeting a lot of people from different walks of life as I had a few different jobs at university. I know that anecdotal experience isn’t that useful so I will start with some sources.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes/articles/familiesandthelabourmarketengland/2021#employment-rates-for-parents-in-the-uk

  • 3/4 of mothers are employed

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/two-million-more-women-in-work-since-2010-as-uk-unemployment-remains-low

  • Women in high-skilled jobs is up 38.5% since 2010, with proportion of women progressing into top management roles growing by almost 25% over last 12 years

I hope this changes the idea people have that women don’t work and just wait around for a man on six figures to swoop in and spoil them.

I’m educated and in a high earning field because I enjoy it. Im in a LTR but I know that if I were single, quite a few men would be put off by my job. And that’s totally fine, they are allowed that preference. I have a lot of “unfeminine” traits, I work late most nights, I have a thick skin, most of my coworkers and work friends are men, if I operated through my emotions I’d be out of a job. I also have to stand up for myself and be “disagreeable” at times.

My bf is in cyber security, we currently earn about the same. We’re about to move in together, all our rent, bills etc will be split evenly. If one of us gets a significant pay rise, we will adjust our outgoings to be proportional. And yes, if I get a large pay rise I will happily take on a larger chunk of the rent. We’re both 23 btw, met at university.

I like my work, I am motivated by wanting to look after my parents as they get older. If I choose to have my own kids one day, I’d like to give them a comfortable upbringing, which is far easier to achieve with two salaries.

I don’t see myself as anything special, all the women around me have a very similar mindset and values. Which makes the attitudes I’ve seen here all the more perplexing.

I think the only solution to this is to acknowledge that the channels producing this content are intentionally rage baiting you to believe that all women think and act like that, there’s an element of confirmation bias which means you’ll then keep consuming their content, which gives them money and exposure. Work on having more, non-romantic/sexual interactions with a variety of women in real life.

CMV