More and more women are paying alimony to ex-husbands and they're really not happy about it

Punder_man · 2023-10-13T16:42:49+00:00

That moment when you realize equality means you have to be treated "equally" even when you're used to having it better than the opposite group. It's not some idyllic Platonic ideal, Karen. There are real material consequences to it.

SchalaZeal01 · 2023-10-13T16:33:59+00:00

I like that the article bemoans all the "lazy" and " failure to lsunch" ex husbands and the "rage" of female ex spouses without acknowledhing that men have been putting up with the same shit for 50 years.

AirSailer · 2023-10-13T16:20:48+00:00

"I often look in the mirror and wonder whether this whole feminism thing backfired on me.”

yes, indeed

El_Psy_Congroo4477 · 2023-10-13T16:27:39+00:00

What happened to the fight for equality? 🤣

mr_ogyny · 2023-10-13T18:21:53+00:00

“It’s not just as simple as saying, ‘Because men pay it, women should pay it too.’ ”

It is that simple, but it looks like you're after privileges and not equality.

Also, props to William Orr.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2023-10-13T16:48:46+00:00

Women earn significantly more than men in 16% of relationships. Men should not marry down, marrying up is the way to go.

In 29% of marriages today, both spouses earn about the same amount of money. Just over half (55%) of marriages today have a husband who is the primary or sole breadwinner and 16% have a breadwinner wife.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/

2023-10-13T16:57:41+00:00

Good.

GDMongorians · 2023-10-13T18:14:54+00:00

If you read the article it’s hilarious, women are freaking out. She only had to pay $1k a month. How many times have I read the same scenario for men and they pay twice that amount. And child support for a kid that isn’t theirs.

2023-10-13T17:10:08+00:00

Waaaaaaaaaaaa, they can cry me a freaking river. Let them know how it feels to be a man in this situation. I say good for the men getting their money and letting these women pay. To use their own words "They picked the guy, let her pay"

I HATE paying my ex anything because she refuses to do anything for our kids. She was a waste of space just like the guy in this story. I don't care one bit that these women have to pay. They chose who they chose, now let them feel the full brunt of equality as the Payor / Obligor!!!

sgt_oddball_17 · 2023-10-13T19:25:06+00:00

Welcome to Equality

wiptcream · 2023-10-13T18:10:39+00:00

that will be the only time alimony will be abolished

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2023-10-13T19:03:37+00:00

News flash men were never happy about it. But yea know you wanted equality so means you also have equality in the shitty stuff life likes to push on you.

Futureman999 · 2023-10-13T18:52:51+00:00

$1,000 a month for more than a year.

So like $13K then? Is that what THIS WHOLE ARTICLE is about? Does she know some men are stuck with permanent alimony and it's a fucking lot more that $1000? Some elderly men can't afford to retire because they're still paying an ex-wife from decades ago, that they can barely remember.

You know what? This is what happens when women normalize being able to hook up with sexy bartender chads with zero effort anytime they want, well into their thirties. Then they decide to get married...and every man is ugly to them except their sexy bartender chads (who never had much of a job)

john35093509 · 2023-10-13T19:07:42+00:00

Good. Maybe the concept of alimony will finally be put to rest.

1uno124 · 2023-10-13T18:22:52+00:00

To quote the philosopher Cam'ron...ha ha you mad

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2023-10-13T17:00:08+00:00

Equality for all

yelo777 · 2023-10-13T22:31:29+00:00

Never heard of a stay at home mom being labeled with "failure to launch"

pissed_off_elbonian · 2023-10-13T17:09:01+00:00

Equality happened. Time to deal with it. I don’t care how (cats, ice cream, vibrators), but time to woman up and deal with it.

Mode1961 · 2023-10-13T17:22:58+00:00

IMHO this is why alimony is being looked at NOW and not 50 years ago because people can see the writing on the wall. When alimony laws are re-written you will find 'special' wording being put in that will apply to women payers more than men that will allow them to pay less.

fernhern · 2023-10-13T19:43:57+00:00

Welcome to the other side.

Punder_man · 2023-10-13T19:09:43+00:00

Okay lets do this..
Right at the very start its clear that the author has no fucking idea:

“It’s not just as simple as saying, ‘Because men pay it, women should pay it too.’ ”

Uh yeah.. it IS that simple! it's call equality.. if we expect men to pay for women who "sacrifice their career to raise the kids" then equally we should expect women to pay for men who "sacrifice their career to raise the kids"

Her husband was supposed to be looking for a job. He’d promised her over and over: “I’ll work on my résumé, I’ll set up the informational interviews, I’ll reach out to my contacts.” Instead, he sat on her couch and watched made-for-TV Christmas movies.

Humm.. sounds like something that women also do where they promise over and over about finding a job but then sit on the couch scrolling instagram etc..
But its clearly fair and okay for them to leech off of men huh?

The typical narrative around child support and alimony is that, for better or worse, husbands pay it to their ex-wives. But there’s a growing demographic of Washington women who emerge from their marriages as the payers, not the recipients, of this kind of financial restitution.

And while no one is ever thrilled at the prospect of writing checks to an ex, divorce attorneys around the region report that a rising contingent of these female payers react to the prospect of sending support payments with pure, hot rage.

Because it IS primarily men who have to pay alimony and yet when men complain about how unfair it is.. they get told to "Suck it up" also i'm sure there are many men who react to the prospect of sending support payments to their ex wife with "pure, hot rage" but if they mentioned that to anyone they would be called a misogynist..

Often, these are women whose husbands did not expect to be the lower-earning partner in their marriage and subsequently did not take that role reversal well. Instead of stepping up at home, the husbands leaned way back . . . and then, when it all ended, demanded the right to maintain their lifestyle.

And yet there are plenty of women who "lean back" spend the money the man earns, get fed up with him, divorces him and then still expect to "Maintain their lifestyle" to which the courts happily force the man to pay money to enable this despite the fact that it often impacts on the man's ability to maintain HIS lifestyle!

For Michelle, the notion that her ex was somehow entitled to money from her, given the circumstances, was infuriating. “I spent a lot of time being very bitter over how betrayed I felt,” she says, adding that it took her three years to pay off all kinds of expenses she incurred during the marriage and the divorce: a six-figure sum, in her estimation.

Don't get me wrong, I have empathy for Michelle here, however it is somewhat limited by the fact that many men go through the same situation and don't have the same 'right' or access to platforms to complain about it.

So why does alimony—a.k.a. spousal support—still exist? The modern justification is threefold: One, if a couple has children, the court doesn’t think it’s in the kids’ best interest for their quality of life to seesaw wildly between their parents’ homes.

I have no words for this.. "Its not in the kids' best interest for their quality of life to seesaw wildly between their parent's homes" except you know.. how often men are made to pay alimony AND child support often leaving them lucky if they can afford a 1 - 2 bedroom apartment and thus not have the space to have their kids stay over or if they do they are often living in squalor like conditions.. lets not even discuss the fact that men often lose out on even 50/50 custody of the children anyway...

So yeah.. if this is the "Goal' of support then it is clearly failing!

Hostetter calls the men in the most enraging of woman-pays-out divorces “failure-to-launch exes,”

Cute, and yet if men call the most enraging of men-pays-out divorces "Gold digging whore exes" they would be called misogynists...

I'm done with this article.. there's only so much bullshit i can tolerate before it makes me vomit..

Tallguystrongman · 2023-10-13T17:13:41+00:00

Aww…..boofuckinghoo…

dresden_k · 2023-10-13T17:51:00+00:00

Neither have been the men...

Imissyourgirlfriend2 · 2023-10-13T19:59:06+00:00

Too bad. So sad. Welcome to equality.

2023-10-13T23:12:13+00:00

“It’s not just as simple as saying, ‘Because men pay it, women should pay it too.’”

That is literally equality though. This is proof they don’t want that. This is basically saying only women can take advantage of mens money, not the other way around. An appropriate response to her situation is “We should really look at how alimony is distributed, because it doesn’t always go to the right people for the right reasons.”

It’s funny how a jobless man is seen as a loser, that sort of language isn’t used at jobless women. I’ve seen young women who live at home say they refuse to date a guy that lives at home.

Equality only when it benefits them.

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2023-10-13T18:36:10+00:00

Poor things. Bless their hearts.

Delicious-Agency-824 · 2023-10-13T16:58:36+00:00

Why don't people just write their own marriage contract.

AdobiWanKenobi · 2023-10-13T19:19:45+00:00

So you’re telling me I should move to DC 🤔 Am European so I’m guaranteed to have less assets than them.

matrixislife · 2023-10-14T03:42:53+00:00

A couple of years old but has a couple of points to make:

She agreed to pay him alimony: $1,000 a month for more than a year.

I think most men paying alimony would be overjoyed to only be paying $12k or thereabouts.

Instead of stepping up at home, the husbands leaned way back . . . and then, when it all ended, demanded the right to maintain their lifestyle.

This sound familiar to anyone?

Zealousideal-Pace764 · 2023-10-13T23:45:30+00:00

Finally a good news hahha

XavierMalory · 2023-10-14T04:02:54+00:00

“I THINK IT’S IMPORTANT TO GO BACK TO: WHY WAS ALIMONY CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE?” MICHELLE SAYS. “IT’S NOT JUST AS SIMPLE AS SAYING, ‘BECAUSE MEN PAY IT, WOMEN SHOULD PAY IT, TOO.’

Translation: “Waah! This isn’t the equality I signed up for! I only want equality when it suits meeeee!”

DefendTheLand · 2023-10-13T20:39:12+00:00

Ya just hate to see it….

JustAnotherBoomer · 2023-10-14T13:59:56+00:00

" Instead, he sat at home watching made for TV christmas movies."

Way to go, dude, you are my hero!!!

negaverser · 2023-10-13T21:18:13+00:00

How about we cancel alimony. It takes two to divorce. So beat it

StrawberryToiletWine · 2023-10-14T07:37:39+00:00

Aaah the privilege… Poor woman, having to deal with something men are literally dealing for generations…

CatacombsRave · 2023-10-13T17:41:48+00:00

Ultimately, this should lead to us having more female allies.

omegaphallic · 2023-10-13T21:04:10+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Millstone50 · 2023-10-14T01:14:39+00:00

Good.

dawszein14 · 2023-10-14T02:23:37+00:00

good. we can't negotiate a cease-fire until we're firing back

2023-10-14T09:03:39+00:00

Leopards eating ones face

Codename-18 · 2023-10-14T10:36:16+00:00

Lol reading this was an intellectual blowjob 🤣

Evertale_NEET_II · 2023-10-14T02:26:18+00:00

Maybe alimony isn't so bad. Let women get fucked over for once.

Kyonkanno · 2023-10-13T22:49:06+00:00

Now, tell me more about thy opresion. Is it here in the room?

Notcreative345 · 2023-10-13T20:35:22+00:00

Should read women don’t like equality, but we all knew that

SARW89 · 2023-10-14T01:12:32+00:00

The cope is hard in the article.

B_P_G · 2023-10-13T18:46:39+00:00

Other than the first guy I don't think most of the men in this article are stay-at-home husbands. So we're talking about married couples who both have full time jobs. Household tasks are what they are whether the wife is working at McDonalds or she's a Big Law attorney. Yet these women act like they're being cheated for having to do the same household stuff that every other woman in America is doing. If the husband were staying home all day then it's fair to expect more out of him but it doesn't sound like that's the case.

As far as alimony it's a shitty law no matter who it affects. But according to this article it doesn't sound like it's as much of a law as it's a bunch of judges pulling unconvincing arguments out of their ass.

One, if a couple has children, the court doesn’t think it’s in the kids’ best interest for their quality of life to seesaw wildly between their parents’ homes. Two, a person without an income could very well end up relying on resources such as food stamps or other kinds of government support. The court is not so hot on that prospect. The deal is, hey, you married them—you don’t get to make them the state’s problem just because you don’t like them anymore. And three: A lot of spouses—typically wives—sacrificed earning power in order to do the bulk of the home-front labor, a career penalty for which alimony might compensate.

MrInbetweenn01 · 2023-10-14T02:09:48+00:00

This gives me a little chubby. My big hope here is that rather than the system remaining unfair for those that actually work for the assets they have in their life is that enough women feel the sting of what men have had to deal with that it will cause people to say:

"Hang on a second, this whole system is quite unfair and it needs to be changed"

I just do not want anyone to be gipped regardless as to if it is a man or woman.

Lawyerlytired · 2025-06-05T19:38:49+00:00

This stuff is hilarious.

Women got education tilted in favour of girls, now dominate university admissions, got all kinds of hiring quotas but only in well paid industries (they'll leave that other jobs for men), increasingly dominate in fields and businesses where they're now making more than most men, and the result is they end up owing alimony and it angers them to no end.

I've seen people turn on it when they had to pay it despite having been all in favour of it in a theoretical sense to protect and look after women. She wasn't pleased to have to pay it herself, though.

It's one of those things that really highlights the lie that's pushed about equality and equity

KingDorkFTC · 2023-10-13T22:59:33+00:00

If you read the article the guy sounded like a loser.

2023-10-14T13:09:14+00:00

Ah yes, equality. What all women say they want until they get it. Now you know what a man feels like when 1/2 his earnings, child, home, retirement are ripped from him because.....wait for it...."she's not happy."

Voltariat · 2023-10-14T16:25:06+00:00

When I went thought divorce and saw the female judge not caring about areas of clear unfair treatment of the ‘payer’ I thought about statistics on woman in the workforce and wondered if all this would become more equitable once women start having to pay out.

Neusprince · 2023-10-14T18:12:14+00:00

I love it. I hope they feel every cent that leaves their back account. I don't feel sorry for them in the slightest.

husband1971 · 2023-10-15T00:04:05+00:00

Equality does not mean happiness for all. Take the good along with the bad.

Equivalent-Target724 · 2023-10-18T05:57:24+00:00

In the majority of cases this is not true.

Title	More and more women are paying alimony to ex-husbands and they're really not happy about it
Author	avoidingpsychos
Upvotes	1115
Comments	127
Date	October 13, 2023 3:57 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1771zgh/more_and_more_women_are_paying_alimony_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/more-and-more-women-are-paying-alimony-to-ex.1234975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234975

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