Why isn’t this more well known?

Significant_Rope976 · 2024-02-21T07:15:55+00:00

This is what nature has deemed it to be.

Otherwise you'd think all the fallen powerful men (Donald Trump, Johnny Depp, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Clipper's owner etc) would have some sympathy towards championing or redressing the domestic law asymmetry at the highest level.

Responsible-Yak-3809 · 2024-02-21T07:14:09+00:00

Yeah it’s called they are the narcissist. I swear this woke generation has ducked so many people over. It’s just led to a ton of people who can’t take responsibility.

My exwife is a picture perfect example of (there’s gotta be a term for this) this generation of women who need to feel “equal” to their husband. They are told they need to make sure THEY are the head of the household and not let gender norms control that. Get away from this idea because women are just as capable as men. However I made more than twice as much as she did, worked 2 hours more everyday than she did, worked on remodeling our entire house without any help from her, I do all the outside house up keep, I do the majority of cooking. She spends countless amount of time on her phone, watching ridiculous reality shows until midnight every night, then can’t even keep up with the laundry or cook dinner two nights a week.

It’s like some of these women have this feminist “want” but then do zero to back it up so it backfires and they don’t know what to do so all they can do is blame their husbands for holding them back. Then they just find another guy to sucker in because obviously we’re too big of morons to see their tricks up front.

serenesweetpea · 2024-02-18T22:40:20+00:00

I have the same problem…unfortunately, someone that doesn’t see an error in their ways won’t bother to get themselves help. Regardless of who might be lost, challenged or broken.

Sometimes a nice little boost by offering couples therapy or counseling could be the start to getting the necessary help.

WildIntroduction8618 · 2024-02-18T18:45:09+00:00

This post really resonates with me. I continue to be surprised by all of the things I didn't know. In my case I firmly believe I'm dealing with narcissistic victim syndrome and I don't really care how infrequent or misdiagnosed narcissism really is.

Most of the listicles I find, and to your specific point there's no central place to learn most of this, are so spot on I can't believe it. For example, this one, 5 Ways a Narcissistic Wife Treats her Husband, hit me so hard I teared up while reading it. I've been a victim, in plain sight, for 10+ years and only within the past 10 months am I beginning to start a new life.

You will never be good enough.
There will be no real sense of partnership within the marriage. There's a dynamic of a narcissist putting themselves up high on a pedestal. What that essentially means, even for a spouse, is that you are below.
It will be ALL about her feelings. Your feelings will not matter. They are not considered. They are not part of the equation for a narcissist.
Competitiveness over collaboration. Because it's as if that narcissist wants to win herself.
Appearance. Now very little energy will be given from a narcissist to be put into the marriage in term so of growing and developing an actually healthy, thriving relationship. No energy will be put into that. Where the energy will be put is in the appearance of having a good relationship.

Seemedlikefun · 2024-02-18T12:08:27+00:00

The issue is that people don't want to look at the root causes that have created this epidemic in western societies. In the U.S. 1 out of four females have been victims of sexual abuse, yet no one wants to corelate that to modern women behaviors. Take your pick from divorce, with child custody to female teachers having sex with minor children. Females are a protected species, and subject to lack of accountability. Why, is a question that the guardrails that are supposed to keep us from going off of the cliff, won't address. The church won't address it, even though divorce rates and infidelity, are exactly the same inside and outside of it. The family court system is rigged to deny men fair and equitable judgements. The entertainment industry, promotes poor female behavior as the pinnacle of strength and empowerment. No one wants to expose this because they will get cancelled. Look at the subs on this platform, that have brigaded and mass banned men who have even suggested that this behavior is not normal. Other social media sites will allow women to prostitute themselves openly, yet will shadow ban a man who would dare hurt her feelings. Finally to answer your question, the reason why it's not more well known, is because too many people, make too much money from female poor behaviors! There are industries that are supported from what they now consider a commodity.

Gloomy_Expression_39 · 2024-02-18T05:25:32+00:00

Most of the time it’s undiagnosed post partum depression. It’s completely misunderstood but 90% of the stories I read on here I just roll my eyes and think… there’s another one. It’s sad how misunderstood postpartum is and how it shows up in women is not anything like ‘depression’ it has the wrong name.

whiskey_piker · 2024-02-18T02:32:16+00:00

Narcissism is often on the hook for shitty behavior. Bipolar (BPD) is more correct. Also, if you aren’t getting your woman’s hormones checked out in her 30’s and start tracking pre-manopause, you’ll e set up for the shitty behavior from her body making wide hormone chemical changes.

Visual_Cycle_1066 · 2024-02-18T00:18:39+00:00

What I have witnessed my friends over many decades now is the pussification of men. It's incredible to behold. Some blame feminism. Some blame Hollywood. I blame men. An actual man takes 100% responsibility for his position in life.

I couldn't watch the #1 hit show Friends. The guys? A clown, a dope and a whiny pussy. A feeling of disgust washed over me when the whiny pussy character entered a scene. As if a guy with those characteristics would get a girl who looked like Jennifer Aniston. Yeah right.

But I don't blame Friends or any other sitcom or movie. Yeah they are not good guides for how to get the girl in real life, but it's a man's responsibility to figure it out.

My good friend (who is an actual man) has a daughter (25 yo) who laments she cannot find a man like her father - hard working, great career, built his own house, interesting hobbies, sharp and funny, great shape, nice man but takes no shyt from anyone. That's me too by the way. But his daughter is coming up empty.

What man is afraid of a woman in any way? I am bigger, stronger, faster, funnier, in better shape, more adventurous, have more hobbies and have more energy than any woman I have ever known, EVER. And I have known alot of them, alot of great ones. WTF dudes, why would I give a flying eff if one of them wasn't attracted to me, or thought she could do better, or dipped out on me? Bye!

Narcissism is a way overused term that does not apply to as many women as you think. If a woman respects you and thinks she could lose you to another woman, she will stay in line, period. If her respect wavers, her attraction fades, and here come the tests. Fail the tests and its game over.

Women do not take responsibility or accountability and generally do not apologize unless they really effed up in a nuclear way and fear losing you. Otherwise, forget about it. Who cares anyway? I don't need an apology. I expect women to be women. If they eff up bad enough, they are going out the door head first and it's getting locked behind them.

FFS go watch the Johnny Fontane scene from the Godfather. Listen to the Don's wise words.

The easiest route is to be a man and take full responsibility for everything. So you ended up with a wacked out chick? You picked her pal. But but but she wasn't like that when we met and blah blah blah....So what, who cares, move the eff on. Be a man. You're the Captain of your ship brothers.

I say this with love and well wishes for all men to chart a course for happiness and success.

tomsnow164 · 2024-02-17T21:59:52+00:00

I think one of the big things is most of us who are getting divorced we’re raised on sitcom women who constantly had issues with their husbands. I think a big problem is that we were taught narcissistic and toxic traits were just female traits and so were they.

I also think women as narcissists corned the market on the accusations. Any narcissistic abuse stuff you follow will occasionally directly use gendered language and the male as the abuser and the female as the victim but never the reverse. And usually their examples of narcissistic abuse is when a man prioritizes his work over her feelings or need for over the top support.

I spent a long time arguing against a recent post on IG that stated “stay at home moms (not parents) work more than 90 hours a week” and “they are worth $182/yr”. The levels of belief in their value is crazy and would use things that prove the other parent works as hard and harder and just throw it out.

No-Exit6560 · 2024-02-17T21:55:46+00:00

Check out Aaron Clarey’s books.

He’s got everything covered from how to get your finances in order to the book of numbers which goes into painstaking detail about how abysmally low the number of women that are marriage material are and how unlikely you are to find that unicorn.

He recently released a new book a world without men focused on what men contribute to the economy vs women, I found it very interesting. In short; when women say they don’t need no man, yes actually they do if they’d like the lights to stay on, their water to keep flowing, their garbage collected and to be able to put fuel in their car to go places along with just the basics of keeping a maintained roof over their head and food in their fridge. Men comprise the majority of all those fields I just spoke of from infrastructure, to farming, to essential services.

But don’t tell the boss babes that!

But I digress. The world we live in and occupy was made for dumb people. Not average, dumb. Dumb people are the reason when you go to the Zoo there’s a sign that says don’t swim with the crocodiles.

In this day and age if you’re average intelligence you’re actually smart, and if you’re actually intelligent then it’s almost a curse. You’re surrounded by dumb people, doing dumb things all day every day and expected to treat it as the status quo and just accept it.

One of those dumb things is marriage.

We’ve all been through the meat grinder that is marriage, for various reasons but a lot of us were conditioned at a young age that it was the ‘right’ thing to do and it was a natural and normal process of aging was you’d find your ‘one’ person to be with and everything would work out fine in the end.

What a crock of shit.

Thanks to the changes made to family law since the 70’s and onward getting married is one of if not the single worst decision, with the most dire and life altering consequences both legally and financially a man can make in this day and age.

orussell03 · 2024-02-17T20:26:18+00:00

Women Demanded Equality. Men are going to enforce it!

This is the last generation of men who were conditioned to put the well-being of others over themselves. I'm already teaching my boy that he doesn't owe any woman shit. The free stuff has to stop.

The answer to your question is that men were kept too busy. Trying to earn enough to feed multiple people. We didn't get any breathing room to ask these questions early on, and nobody told us either. Our own mothers told us to be super generous with women. We are having to re-learn masculinity and hold women true to their ask of equality. The next generation of women better be ready for the backlash that is brewing.

As of today. I exercise all of my rights post divorce. I am hell bend on not paying for anything more than i need to. I maximize every minute of my visitation. Call her out if she sways away from the court order. She's not liking equality at all.

MrCleanWI · 2024-02-17T19:51:11+00:00

Because the world has this attitude that men are strong and can handle anything. It's also our own fault for hiding our emotions but that's also because of the world shunning us for being emotional and talking about problems. The world believes that men should be quiet about their feelings. Of course now there's the woman's movement out there where men are all dirt and not worth it which adds to all of this other stuff. It takes men to talk to men to get this stuff out because the rest of the world doesn't want to hear us

Isthisthereddits · 2024-02-17T19:47:36+00:00

Narcissism has lots of info on it on YouTube. Dr. Ramani is a big one, but there are lots of others around it. Plus Emily King and Dadvocate are great for actually helpful, healthy, non red pill approaches to the issues men face. Don't get drug into the red pill community unless you want to go full incel or become the emotional abuser to some woman who didn't know her worth the same way some of us men deal with narcissistic partners doing the same to us.

Artistic_Reveal_2887 · 2024-02-17T19:25:25+00:00

Lawyers make a fortune in this situation, you essentially give them 1/3 of all the both of you own. So, yeah I think they have a reason to keep this quite.

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-02-17T15:58:54+00:00

Most divorce articles and self-help guides are also focused on the wife in the divorce. I think 70% of divorces are initiated by women. So for men who choose to initiate a divorce and seek guidance through literature, there isn’t much out there.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2024-02-17T15:41:53+00:00

They all play from the same play book.

Diabolus-Optima · 2024-02-17T15:24:23+00:00

I use the Bible. Jesse Lee Peterson helped me understand the word. Human evil is everywhere. I worked around homeless people (Transit Security). Truly some sad stuff out there brother

billsfan305 · 2024-02-17T15:14:10+00:00

Human nature. We as men are generally wired to protect women and take accountability. We deal with all their crap and take responsibility for marriages that don’t work. And often blame ourselves vs find support.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2024-02-17T15:13:04+00:00

This is one of those subjects you can't lead a man to. When the time is right in his life, the subject will find him.

If you try to discuss this outside of our sphere you will be viscously attacked by White Knights and Simps.

Particular_Car7127 · 2024-02-17T15:06:52+00:00

I bet 95% of information concerning divorce is written with women in mind.

AudriWrath · 2024-02-17T14:43:55+00:00

Allegory of the cave, brother.

Gullible_Rich_7156 · 2024-02-17T14:36:23+00:00

Preach, brother…I’ve posted on here many times about my batshit N/BPD ex and seem to get only responses from guys who went through a run of the mill divorce with some relatively normal woman who “fell out of love” or just got bored. This woman thinks nothing of using my the kids against me, has tried to destroy my current healthy, supportive, loving and egalitarian relationship multiple times because she cannot stand the loss of control (ie: having to deal with me having a partner that I consult with before making plans involving the kids, etc…) or the fact that I’m happy. People say things like “show her who’s boss, take control,” 🙄 Clearly they have never dealt with perfect storm of a relentless and ruthless N/BPD woman who has the full weight of the legal system behind her telling her that she is a put-upon saint who is due compensation for her supposed long period of suffering during her marriage. You can’t reason with these people-they are literal emotional and mental terrorists who will destroy anything in their path to get what they want and it’s far from easy to deal with them.

DeadBedroomRealTalk · 2024-02-17T14:05:52+00:00

Society today doesn’t like dealing with any sort of generalizations or stereotypes. Combine that with an extreme bias to protect women, and you get this “well not ALL women” type of language.

Even when gender studies demonstrate women are hypergamous, tend to have more borderline personality traits, and other aspects that apply biologically to women, no one wants to admit it because they want to believe everyone is born as a blank slate. “Bad women aren’t born like that - it’s just society’s fault”

It’s all bullshit. Women don’t like the unvarnished truth getting out because it makes their monkey branching strategies and divorce rape maneuvers less successful.

nyghtrider · 2024-02-17T14:00:18+00:00

No. It was even in the movie 40 years old Virgin. Don’t put the pussy on a pedestal. And that’s all you need to know.

Title	Why isn’t this more well known?
Author	BilboMontague1
Upvotes	72
Comments	61
Date	February 17, 2024 1:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1at233b/why_isnt_this_more_well_known/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-isnt-this-more-well-known.1245655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245655

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