So I don't want to approach girls anymore...

Philosophicaltree · 2013-02-23T20:20:22+00:00

I think seduction only works if you are already confident and happy in life. People (not only women) will only like you if you already like yourself. It sounds like you have a lot of issues you should sort through before getting back out into the pick-up scene. I'm telling you that women will not fill that void or make you any happier if you're down. Women give a happy man a way to express his confidence and happiness. My advice to you is try to find a hobby or something you are passionate about. Get involved in that in your community. People are attracted to people who show passion, especially passion that lines up with their passions and aspirations. You will not end up forever alone; you just need to get YOUR life sorted out before you can worry about bringing someone else into it.

Fire42uck · 2013-02-23T20:17:57+00:00

Don't feel like you need to have someone else make you happy. Look for happiness in yourself, in your own life first. You don't have to continue approaching for now if it's bringing you too much stress, but read more on inner game and see where that takes you.

imMatt19 · 2013-02-23T20:46:19+00:00

While I agree 100% that its normal to get rejected a bunch, but we NEED success in order to keep moving forward. I know exactly what OP is talking about. Sure it sucks getting rejected 8/10 times but those 2 times of NOT getting rejected are what keeps us going. Without those 2 success it is very hard to keep trying, there is nothing keeping you going. There is only the pain of getting rejected and nothing positive coming your way from all the hard work.

Would you still go to the gym if you never lost weight/gained muscle?

With that said, I'm sure there are a few things that OP needs to work on before he starts achieving success, we must help this man seddit.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-02-23T20:40:42+00:00

Do what makes you happy. But you'll have to deal with your own personal situation, because that is the one thing that will never go away. Wherever you go, there you are. You can't run from your problems, they go where you go.

Something I heard around this scene was, consider whether you are the kind of person you'd enjoy hanging out with. Are you fun to be around, or would you tell them they're an asshole and to go away and leave you alone? Now consider, the person you are always hanging around with: yourself.

I'm seeing a woman now, she could make me very happy, but I am considering that I am not the type of guy that can ever make her happy. So I'm considering whether that means I should change, or whether I should stick with what I am. I decided it is a mix of both. This is one reason we seek out social relationships. It helps us explore not just what other people are like, it also helps us explore what we are like, and what we are like when we are interacting with different types of people. It helps us explore what we want.

You don't need to seek out other people, to help you start determining what you want from life. Start seeking what makes you happy. Then the kind of people that make you happy, will seek you.

rpcrazy · 2013-02-23T21:07:54+00:00

I have a anxiety so a few things you can do, which now would be a great stop since you're in your "fuck it" mood.

Stop approaching girls
Start approaching people...for random shit you see other people approach people for but think there's no point usually(or that you would have nothing to say).
Frame what you're doing as "creating attraction in all my relationships". Be funny, be respectable, be likeable.

If you didn't see any expectations in those 3 steps it's because there isn't any. Your simply setting yourself up for success. Be an introvert, but don't be shy. If it's been like 5 days since you've gone out, force yourself too. Eventually, you'll chat a girl that is single and maybe likes you. This will happen several times until you grow up a little and are ready for a relationship.

Keep at it man

oderint_dum_metuant · 2013-02-24T00:21:34+00:00

If you live near NY, first round is on me, no women, no pressure, no nothing.

Simply an offer to shoot the shit.

bdcp · 2013-02-23T21:39:47+00:00

Were you bullied as a teen?

RGKaizen · 2013-02-23T19:45:41+00:00

Its easy to be happy when you're comfortable. Rewards like not dying alone only go to those who earn it, through tears and suffering if need be.

That said, fuck it. Either you're going to find it in yourself to go back out there and try again, or you won't.

Just remember you only get 1 life and then its over.

2013-02-23T22:07:58+00:00

Focus on doing daily activities that strengthen your life. Build up your discipline, build up good habits, build up a good life. If cold approaching is too challenging, then wait. Focus on tangible goals. You have far more to deal with than just learning to cold approach. Read succeedsocially.com and postmasculine.com and get some social activities in life: Join clubs, attend events, have a social job etc. Get your life together first.

chlat · 2013-02-23T20:10:30+00:00

It is important for you to know that not every interaction you have will work out for you. It is completely normal to be rejected by a number of girls until you find the right one who will like you and I think you just want every situation to end up perfectly and when it doesn't you end up feeling depressed. Complaining about not landing any women will not get you anywhere at all. Instead of whining and feeling sorry about yourself, you should just enjoy your company with women more and feel thankful for who you are. You are only given one life so just enjoy it man and I wish you the best.

baddog992 · 2013-02-23T21:02:37+00:00

I think maybe what you need is a wing man who is successful getting into social situations. I had a friend who was a master at the game of getting laid. The wing man could help with the pitch so to speak. I think finding the wing man may be tough however any buddy who is comfortable around women could help you out.

living150 · 2013-02-23T22:33:54+00:00

Honestly, Just go live your life. Most men in this world don't use PUA techniques to find women and yet the world population keeps rising. If it doesn't work for you, just get outside and enjoy life and maybe try to be around people more often. Become the person you want to be and people will be drawn to you. Find your own path.

Everything you are going through is normal and you shouldn't feel shame for it, embrace your emotions and learn what they tell you about yourself. I would recommend meditation (specifically mindfulness), exercise, a good diet, read as much as possible and get out of the house and try new things (fuck the clubs and bars, do real things). Make your life a great story, worst case scenario (however unlikely) you die alone having lived an amazing life.

I'm in the same boat so I don't claim to have the answers but if you ever need someone to talk to PM me because I understand the pain you are feeling.

chlat · 2013-02-23T23:39:07+00:00

I feel ya. Pickup has led me to hate the way I look (BDD) and has led me down a path of miserable depression. I read about everyone's successes on here and wonder why am I such a fuck up, which I eventually blame on my looks. I should probably give up on it, but I don't want to die alone.

EDIT: I should note I was rather happy with myself before pickup. I did volunteer work, had hobbies, and was making insane progress on my body by losing weight. I just wanted to meet women. Now I feel like I'm broken.

chlat · 2013-02-23T23:45:29+00:00

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kazagistar · 2013-02-24T00:06:41+00:00

Everyone dies alone.

front_toward_enemy · 2013-02-24T01:23:26+00:00

If going out and trying to meet hot girls and get laid makes you unhappy, stop doing it.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH DISLIKING SOCIAL SITUATIONS.

It doesn't mean you're going to die alone. People meet people. It doesn't have to happen at a bar or a party.

2013-02-24T03:06:17+00:00

Get a dog. It'll be your best friend, and they're chick magnets. You don't need to make approaches since they'll come to you (well, to your dog...). Plus if it doesn't work out, who cares? You've got the best friend a man could hope for.

SovietSteve · 2013-02-24T03:55:19+00:00

Hey mate have you tried cycling? It's really easy to meet fit girls on bike trails, you can compliment them on their bikes and their ability, plus it's an insta date where you can go "hey follow me I know a fun trail with a cafe at the end". The girls are usually alone as well so it's a no-pressure situation. If she rejects you, just keep riding, nobodies going to judge you.

asad16 · 2013-02-23T19:52:34+00:00

perhaps you have high expectations of every situation and you dwell on it when it doesn't turn out the way you want. maybe just trying to enjoy the moment, and be happy you are doing something. positive reinforcement is the best way to better yourself

fappucino625 · 2013-02-23T20:22:28+00:00

Your story resonates about with me, though I'm sure your social anxiety is a lot worse. What's helped for me, so far, is going out with the mindset of "I'm not going to get laid. I don't even want to get laid." I think this is what all the literature talks about when they say "have fun". It's hard to let go of the idea of sex because, yeah, you're a dude...but you can and will have more fun if you forget about that for a while.

chlat · 2013-02-23T23:55:15+00:00

You sound exactly like me, bro. Be careful if you do get a girlfriend though, because mine doesn't help my self-esteem in the slightest. In fact she makes it worse.

kazagistar · 2013-02-24T00:08:00+00:00

Approach should be enjoyable. If you can make it fun, if you can make it interesting, do that. If you can't, then do something else.

ysef95 · 2013-02-24T01:15:46+00:00

yeah man it can be hard and i think practicing pickup has to come from a happy place where you are self confident and happy with your life for it to seem genuine and to actually work. So my advice would be the same as that of your therapist stop doing it now, work on yourself mabye take up a hobby learn a language or travel? then come back to this and take it from there but you shouldnt view getting girls as a way to make yourself feel good you should look at it from the point of view that you get girls because you feel good

chlat · 2013-02-24T02:34:32+00:00

I hope I'm not too late here but read every single advice written here. Some of them are extremely helpful. If you need some direction and action to take right now, I highly suggest you check out this website to start off: http://www.theonequestion.com/

You need to find that one true purpose that you are super passionate about. I started out with women here myself and I got tired of chasing them after a while.

Now I have myself a wonderful girlfriend and wouldn't want it any other way. I just put myself out there expecting nothing but giving it my best shot.

Good luck to you OP. Drop me a PM if you need any more help.

pushygalore · 2013-02-24T17:27:19+00:00

Stop putting pressure on yourself and just go out an have fun! Chicks gravitate towards those who can have fun!

2013-02-23T20:36:33+00:00

head over to /r/socialskills instead of hanging around /r/seduction

DrunkAtTheWedding · 2013-02-23T20:22:56+00:00

Try NoFap. If you stop masturbating, your drive to meet women improves. So does your confidence and libido.

I also recommend you find a group of friends to go out with. That way you have companionship, contaderie, and people to teach and critique you.

The more positive connections you have to going out, the easier it is. But definitely do these two things, and you will be much happier in the long run. Check the sidebar for active seddit groups.

Luminaire · 2013-02-23T20:23:45+00:00

Stop considering it just approaching girls. Talk to everyone, everywhere.

Talk to the girl/lady/person on line with you at the grocery or coffee place. Talk to the person near you walking down the street. Talk to the person at the checkout counter. Talk to the people at the bus/subway stop. I don't care where you are, find someone nearby and make an observation, or just say hi. Tell them you like their jeans, shoes, posture, ring, whatever and say why.

When you talk to them, always have a smile on your face. Stand tall, shoulders back. Speak loudly (not shouting though).

Take an interest in them, not just for pickup, but as a person. Be genuinely curious about the interesting things in their life.

It stops becoming a chore and starts becoming fun.

Also you meet lots of interesting people, not just girls.

eablokker · 2013-02-23T21:24:06+00:00

I completely understand and agree with you. Everyone says just go out and approach, get rejected, and that's how you get over rejection. It didn't work for me either, it just made things worse. It doesn't work if you don't have a good coping strategy.

Some people say that 1 time time out 10 that you don't get rejected is worth it, but I could never let go of those 9 other rejections. The rejections just haunted me and served as proof that I was undesirable (not necessarily unattractive) to women.

What changed for me recently is that I learned that women often say no when they actually want to say yes. Not everyone knows that. I searched and found a study that shows 30% of college women engaged in "token resistance" where they wanted to say yes but said no for various reasons like they were afraid of looking too promiscuous, they felt insecure about their body, they were afraid of getting an STD, or manipulative reasons like they said no because they thought it would make the guy pursue her even more!

Just remember, that maybe about 30% of those no's could actually be yeses! And remember that a no is not always, or I would say is rarely about you. So I think of all those nos from the past and realize that not all of them were because they weren't attracted to me, in fact getting a no is not at all an indication of how attractive you are.

DingoBlaze · 2013-02-23T21:33:48+00:00

Do what makes you happy, man. Everyone has different personalities. Just remember to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while.

RazzleDazzle_ · 2013-02-23T21:44:20+00:00

If you're happier the way you are than so be it and more power to you. It may seem like a non existant option but you ALWAYS have the option to get back and try to find someone.

I personally believe there are stages in life. You can't try and game or be a social animal all your life. Everyone reaches that stage some time or another. There is no shame in it.

People say you only live once, well that's true. Hence you should live itthe way YOU want to.

haberdasher42 · 2013-02-23T21:51:21+00:00

You're caring too much. Stop taking other people so seriously. They are just as fucked up and pathetic as you are.

If you don't want to go out to approach women, then don't go out to approach women. Just talk to people, anybody, everybody. Be that guy in line who starts a conversation with any available opening. If you think you're going off the rails and seeming weird, stop talking, if you can, draw other people into talking to themselves. It's the best way to be a social antisocial.

Tldr chill out, it's all good.

Gear162 · 2013-02-23T22:12:02+00:00

Shit takes time my friend I only recently found out that what was going on with me actually had a name (oneitis) for valentines day I sent her flowers and she loved them saying how she's reconsidering who should win her heart (yeah right....) anyways I went out with a friend of mine went to a dance club didn't give a fuck about trying to pick up a girl ended up having a great night and met some new people

tl;dr go out with a good friend and just don't give a fuck about anything because no ones gonna remember you the next day anyways unless you leave an impression on them

AlwaysLateToThreads · 2013-02-23T22:13:19+00:00

You can't stop approaching girls if to want them. It sounds to me like you're getting a lot of negative social feedback, which can be a very good thing. If you know where you went wrong, you can improve and not make the same mistakes. I had to screw up a lot of times in order to get better.

The downside of negative social feedback is it can break you. I broke down crying once, but since then I vowed to get better and never be in that position again. I improved myself. Started wearing cologne, dressing better, and investing energy and effort into myself to become a much more worthwhile man.

You have to break the cycle of not getting girls because you can't get girls. Because it can cause you to behave in a way that you can't get even more girls. Go fix yourself up, then go get one!

CauseImBatman · 2013-02-23T22:27:24+00:00

the problem is that you jump from one extreme point to another, you don't understand your situation, you just react by what wou've only learned and that is the reason you do not grow. you need to understand first ,so you can make an experience out of it, it's like preparing for an exam 10 minutes before. you take the info that is in your students book and you think it should suffice, but it doesn't, because you don't understand it on a deeper level,and there aren't really many humans which do not require understanding at least a few of the deeper level principals of existance. from what i've read i see that you really try to rush things and this is your problem, don't worry about the time it takes, focus on the process, grow with it! it's not important what you will achieve as long as you can undertand what has made you fail. you really need to chill down and drop the meds, they will only simplify the reality, but you can do this yourself! i would really like to talk to you in person, cause my english kinda sucks ,and i'm absolutely sure that i can take you off any meds, that involve social behaviour. sorry for my lack of propper grammar ,but after 4 beers i kinda don;t care. cheers! PS: dude I've really meant what i've wrote.

KserDnB · 2013-02-23T22:34:27+00:00

I don't know what to say other than you should talk to someone, you don't seem depressed you just have problems without answers

ndewhurst · 2013-02-23T22:37:47+00:00

It sounds to me like you have some issues deep within yourself that need to be resolved, and I don't really think this is the place to do it. Keep working on it man, listen to the professionals. Good luck.

H-Resin · 2013-02-23T22:44:30+00:00

I hear ya. I'm a manic/depressive individual myself. I always feel like I overcommit to everything I ever do. Artistically speaking, this is great. But when I try to pick up women, it is god awful. So I just stopped. I'm definitely a weirdo in general, and got a little bit obsessed with doing this, with ZERO success rate. Social anxiety isn't always a problem for me, only about 25% of the time. So I've just taken to not even worrying about that kinda shit anymore. Do whatever you gotta do. Everyone dies alone, so why not spend your life alone. I don't want some other person stifling me personality-wise, so why should I constantly be looking for some sort of life partner? You are your own life partner. When you enjoy your own company, then why give a fuck about other people? This will make other people give a fuck about you.

funkyjames · 2013-02-23T23:04:16+00:00

obviously approaching girls makes you anxious and nervous. that's unhealthy, but natural to a point. taking a break is a good idea, but you'll have to get back on the horse eventually. try to think of it as more of a game the next time you decide to approach girls. it will feel more fun and less like a stressful chore, or at least thats how i like to do it.

AtheistAgnostic · 2013-02-23T23:44:31+00:00

You don't have to do this. I think that's your problem. If you're happy without doing it, then voila. I think, if you regularly see a therapist, that you should not be trying this stuff. You need to be happy before you do this stuff, otherwise you can get depressed from failure.

2013-02-24T00:12:27+00:00

1 inner game, #2 outer game.

2013-02-24T00:39:11+00:00

I was in your funk one time. I realized its because I was jerking off 3 times a day. I suppressed my natural sexual energy instead of projecting it in a positive manner. No only that, but sub-consciously it made me think women were merely for the purpose of slamming around and having sex.

I have been doing /r/nofap since, it has made me feel like a super god and I can actually stay with girls on dates now. I see women in a different light for who they are and I am ore attracted to them ever while they see that I am different.

Puck357 · 2013-02-24T02:27:40+00:00

Hey man sounds rough. Here is my 2c, hopefully it helps a bit.

I apply the principles of seduction to my everyday life. I have found that I like myself more and that people like to be around me more.

At one point I too thought that the key was to throw yourself into social situations and "fake it til you make it". Everyone is different, some like it but I cannot go out and apply it all the time. Instead I focused on doing what I want to do and it's always fun if someone wants to do it with me.

For example I play hockey, which means I know how to skate. I have taken a few people out skating this year and it always goes over super well. I still apply seduction (ie. smile, ask questions, tell interesting and animated anecdotes, and of course subtle (or not so subtle at hte end of the night) kino). The idea is to share yourself...whether its hobbies, movies, sightseeing..etc.

the important part

You don't need to be a social butterfly all the time, but if someone takes your fancy don't be afraid to invite them to do something... it will take time and practice (or maybe you'll get lucky ;) ) but in the end you WILL have a meaningful connection with someone.

It's less about "pick up" and more about "seduction" in my opinion.

TL;DR: You will still have to try to be social, but in a completely different way than the typical bar scene or large rambunctious gatherings. Apply seduction in your own way.

cdank · 2013-02-24T03:00:40+00:00

I'm pretty sure you should have approaching people to make friends down pat before you start approaching girls for seduction.

Why not work on meeting new people at bars/clubs/other social settings rather than giving up totally?

chlat · 2013-02-24T03:01:33+00:00

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kaihong · 2013-02-24T03:02:20+00:00

I'm stopping as well. I've always been scoring dates and girls (however you want to word it) but I've never successfully been in a serious relationship due to fucking up all the time. It's time for me to stop and take a break. You should too; it's not that bad.

Perhaps you are seeking some sort of validation from having a girlfriend but clearly no girl is going to make you happy until you make yourself happy. It is always easier said than done but trust me it's well worth the effort to fix yourself rather than have someone fix it for you. soldier onward.

AccountSeddit · 2013-02-24T03:22:57+00:00

There are lots of good comments here already so ill keep mine brief. You have to be content with yourself before you can attempt to share yourself with another person. I was broken up with about 6 months ago and had no idea how to be on my own. I've spent the past 6 months leaning about who I am and taking the time to improve myself. I feel like I'm truly starting to know myself and be content with who I am. This contentment makes it possible for me to go out and meet others. You might not feel great about your social standing at the moment but if you take time to accept who you are and then work on the things to need to change, you'll feel so rewarded.

I've actually been struggling with loneliness and spending time alone but through understanding who I am I am starting to overcome it. Healthy and honest interactions with others begins with knowing and being comfortable with who you are. And trust me, you are amazing, even if you don't know it.

metabrain · 2013-02-24T04:03:29+00:00

If you want others to make you happy, they won't be there for you. It's a simbiotic relation, you give, they give. If you don't have anything to give, you are out of luck. Get more worth, valor. Get happy first.

1vibe · 2013-02-24T04:37:22+00:00

You need a Thai vacation! Not joking.

Anyone who is really having trouble with women needs a quick re-calibration. Go to Thailand (or Brazil, I hear), where people love to have sex and it is easy to get laid by a super-hottie. It will change your whole perspective, you WILL get your game back.

Enough with the downvotes. This works.

wolfravenwylt · 2013-02-24T07:46:08+00:00

Work on you first, get it right and okay. Anxiety happens, this is life. You're probably either socially awkward/inexperienced or possibly an introvert. Either way, first you fix you. Stuff isn't right, it won't be right in your interactions with others. Get your mind right first, get comfortable. You need to coax yourself out of your comfort zone until you're socially interacting again often, without anxiety. It's gradual, it could be a bit. From there, work your way back into this stuff slowly, and you're back in it to win it. Once you're right, in that transition, that's a great time to get some social experience...go make friends, talk to random people, get the experience you lack in dealing with people. Then, after this transitional phase I associate with agoraphobia for an unrelated reason, THEN go back to trying to get yourself a lady. Until you're right and get comfortable, they'll pick up on that and you'll just be torturing yourself. Nothing will work because it will be fake and acted poorly. Until you're right where you need to be, you'll have anxiety and poor social interactions. So far, that's what I've been doing...and I've been having gradual success. Not quite seddit levels, but people are growing less and less convinced they'll find a blinking light with several pounds of C4 taped to something of theirs... Socially awkward people come off weird to everyone, it's not your fault, or anyone's. Breaking the weirdness is literally weirder than a lot of things you'll do in life, it's just a hack on your mind. Break that sucker, but be gentle. It's like cutting glass.

Rubba-D · 2013-02-24T08:10:11+00:00

leave the meds. Smoke some weed. When a girl approaches you, that's when you know she's a keeper.

No1Important · 2013-02-24T08:12:33+00:00

You can not love someone else, until you love yourself.

There is no game. Without Inner Game.

chlat · 2013-02-24T08:28:22+00:00

OP, when you go out and approach women, are you doing it to validate yourself, or are you just out to have fun?

I know this is a cliche around these parts. Nonetheless, when you're out to have fun, your enjoyment can be contagious. And there's no better way to protect yourself from feelings of rejection that to take the all the seriousness out of it.

throwaway-aa2 · 2013-02-24T08:52:39+00:00

I'll basically echo what other people have said here, and basically tell you that a lot of people have been down your path, including me. Only wanting nothing but finding a girl to be in their life... not only to have a female you can touch / kiss / fuck, but have an actual friend who is crazy about spending time with you. And it's a worthwhile goal.

But back then... I didn't really like myself. I didn't like who I was. I think the main thing, is if I was a girl, would I like myself to approach me? Back then, probably not. I had nothing going on. I didn't really know how to talk to people. I was skinny, I had a pretty weak sense of style, I didn't shave properly so I looked a little on the hairy side a lot of the times. Conversations with me were boring because I just worked, maybe came home & played video games, masturbated and then did it all over again the next day.

These days, I find myself sexy. I get excited about buying clothes + jewelry. I work out (I just do pushups but just pushups alone can get you very far). I read, I'm up to date on current topics. I really know how to talk to people and be interesting. I can make people laugh. Would I go out with myself now? Yeah absolutely.

Going back to the girl... of COURSE you don't want to die alone. Your ultimate goal should be to have friends + a girl or girls in your life. Humans are meant to be sociable and are generally more happy in the company of others (there are some exceptions but you're here making this post so I'm assuming this rings true for you).

But you need to fix yourself first. Get an activity that forces you to be around other people and / or women. I read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Minimal-Game-No-Nonsense-Guide-Getting/dp/3942017032/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361695723&sr=8-1&keywords=aaron+sleazy

It basically talks about putting yourself in a position where you can meet women, but you shouldn't do it solely for meeting women. You should do it so you can improve the person you are. Whether you decide to go do Yoga, Dancing, Cooking... whatever it is, find something you like to do that will put you around other people, but also it will give you something you can learn and make your own. Become a desirable person not only to another female, but yourself. Do some pushups or pick up some weights. Join an improv class. Get a big hug me sign and go somewhere with a lot of foot traffic. Read more books, watch more movies. If you have any questions, ask.

rikjames90 · 2013-03-17T04:37:13+00:00

you come off too needy. that's the problem with your approach. dont put girls on a pedistal

hinduheat · 2013-02-23T23:00:55+00:00

Maybe he wasn't looking for advice. Maybe he just wanted to vent.

nextedge · 2013-02-23T22:13:56+00:00

Travel to philippines (cheapest), go online and talk to some pinay, or chinese and set up pre-visit dates. China has a glut of older (27+) that are smart, pretty, and have careers, and are looking hard for men. Philippines, they are English speaking and love foreigners, you will feel like a rock star. (just watch out for scammers) Seriously though, the boost in confidence you will get will eradicate anything in the past, and when you come back here, you will wonder why every girl gained 20 pounds and got uglier while you were gone. A side benefit, when you come back you will have things to talk about to girls here that suddenly make you a lot more interesting.

chlat · 2013-02-23T22:08:05+00:00

You were too outcome dependant hence the frustration. Make approach your main goal. You approach a girl, that's it! You are the man! You had the balls to go and do it. You conquered your fear. You achieved what you wanted. Everyone get's rejected. Best PUAs in the world get rejected. Enjoy the process of approaching. Then you will never feel sad or depressed about it.

Have you ever started playing a new computer game or a sport or maybe you picked up a new hobby but you absolutely sucked at it? That did not stop you, did it. You enjoyed the process of playing that game or sport or constructing robots out of legos or whatever. Then over time you got better. It's like learning to play a new song on a piano. If you enjoy the process, it's only the matter of time until you can play it perfectly. If you can't enjoy the process of learning how to play then you will get frustrated and give up.

Learn to love the process of pickup. Then you are having fun whatever the result.

RonaldFuckingPaul · 2013-02-24T04:01:28+00:00

My therapist put me on meds

stop both of those

eat good food, cut out caffeine and start riding a bicycle

smokinrobocop · 2013-02-23T21:06:01+00:00

not sure if this was mentioned but did you try online dating? didn't have success yet personality but maybe it would remove the having to go out to approach and you can find someone this way. let us know how it goes

2013-02-24T04:58:46+00:00

Was thinking this was a coming-out post.

Title	So I don't want to approach girls anymore...
Author	chlat
Upvotes	134
Comments	163
Date	February 23, 2013 7:40 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/193ccs/so_i_dont_want_to_approach_girls_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-i-dont-want-to-approach-girls-anymore.1291660 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291660

Comments

1 inner game, #2 outer game.