How to sexualize your dates

exaltedbladder · 2011-06-14T00:34:52+00:00

where I was wired up with a microphone and had a skilled wingman listen in.

wat

FattestRabbit · 2011-06-14T00:39:42+00:00

First off, I'm assuming all of your isolation and placement are taken care of (these are 1-on-1 dates, she's not distracted and trying to leave, etc.).
Second, kino should be simple courtesy to start: when opening doors for her, gently place your hand on the small of her back as she passes through; if you're walking somewhere and suddenly change direction to avoid/pass through a crowd and she doesnt immediately follow, gently guide her your way (just so she doesnt lose you in a crowd), etc. If you want to switch things up, sit next to her instead of across from her at dinners. That lends itself to way more kino opportunities (make sure she's ok with this first). Her reactions to these baby-kino moves should show you what you need to know about her mood and how she'll react to more kino.
The conversation itself doesn't have to be about sex. Everyday topics are filled with double entendre. Just give sly looks when she says something that can also be taken sexually, and give comedic pauses when you say something and "realize afterward" that it can also be taken sexually.

acepincter · 2011-06-14T04:40:33+00:00

Sexual tension. Build it. If you build enough tension, she's going to be drawn to you like a rubber band about to break. Sexual tension is when you both want it but can't have it yet.

The simple breakdown (paraphrasing Juggler here) is:

Notice that something she is doing (or some unique quality of her) is turning you on. Say it.
Make a comment about something you would like to do to her, sexually (or just something very hot)
End the comment with a transition using "But..." and raise some objection as to why you cannot go there.

Example:

There's something about your hair... I don't know what it is, but I just wanna bury my head in it as I kiss all up and down your neck and chest... But, (looking around) all these people in the restaurant... They'd probably kick us out. (transition back to normal conversation).

That look you're giving me... For some reason makes me want to just rip your clothes off and throw you down on the floor... But of course, that floor looks like it hasn't been mopped lately... (transition back to normal conversation).

You have the cutest freckles! I just wanna follow the dots and kiss every single freckle you've got on your entire body... But that would probably get us both arrested...
(transition back to normal conversation).

The wonderful thing is, she will have to imagine [whatever you describe] in order to formulate her opinion on it, whether it's positive or negative. End result is: She's imagining you doing hot, sexy things to her.

Does that sound like it might be what you're missing?

Reallybadpoet · 2011-06-14T03:13:01+00:00

where I was wired up with a microphone and had a skilled wingman listen in.

Lemme know if you need a wingman to set up a video camera : |

SpaceToaster · 2011-06-14T05:27:48+00:00

I don't get nearly as many dates as you, but when I do, I close like a mother fucker.

Maybe you are not doing enough filtering to ensure that your date is indeed a decent candidate (more aligned with your desire for sex without a LTR)?

Maybe you didn't do enough to communicate your intent before/during the date?

RedPosterboard · 2011-06-14T03:01:13+00:00

There's plenty of kino progression stuff in the sidebar, so I'll just point you to that for the basics, but here are my not-so-secret tricks:

Greet with a hug if you haven't kissed.
Kiss goodbye. Notice there is no "if" here.
Tell her to dance with you, and when she agrees, start off standing far away so her arm is extended, bow to her and kiss her hand.
If her hair falls anywhere near her face: "You've got something on your face. Oh, it's just your hair." (Briefly brush her face with the back of your hand.)
On a couch: "Squish the lemon!" (Squishing her against the arm of the couch with your side. Oh, is that my arm around you? It is!)

EDIT: Well shit, all that writing and I missed that you seem to feel okay on your kino.

I'm not great at sexualizing conversation, but one thing that seems to work okay for me is to bring up sex all the time, but in a third-person way (not you and her having sex, just sex as a general concept). Start slow with something like the Fuck-Marry-Kill game and move on to stuff like sexual preferences, stuff like that. Eventually, she'll make it personal and talk about her own sexuality. And then you can start talking about your own sexuality. That seems to transition into the topic naturally.

Cdiddles · 2011-06-14T02:27:50+00:00

Grab her boobs!

nwsreddit · 2011-06-14T00:55:21+00:00

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wasmarried · 2011-06-14T13:19:11+00:00

I had a lunch date last Friday that ended with sex alright. We met at a restraunt. I got there first, it was 2 pm. I ordered a beer but had to have food said the waitress, so ordered a coffee, and she brought both. My date arrived and we discussed how she absolutely had to leave in an hour.

Instead of ordering food, I told her to help me finish my beer. It became apparent to me that the germ issue from sharing a bottle went through both our minds at that point. She drank. (1 barrier passed). I asked for the cheque and we left, walking her back to her place to be back in time for her guests. 15 minutes elapsed.

A block down the street I stop by a nich lush yard and spin her around for a kiss and front body contact! I look in her eyes for about 3 secs and move in for the kiss but just get real close. She kisses me. We hug and shit, and I say "I'd like to take you in that yard and jump you right now." She says "I won't stop you." I say "lets go," and take her by the hand, kneel down and reach up her long skirt and say I will take her panties off if she is wearing any. She isn't.

It's a small yard, full of fluffy soft bushes, flowers and long nice grass. Pretty good privacy except for someone on the sidewalk would see us, but we did it for like 40 minutes and no one caught us. We got dressed, I burried the condom, kissed and went separate ways walking. Eating her out with the sun on her pussy was wild for both of us. Would do again.

just_unmotivated · 2011-06-14T00:50:58+00:00

JOKES!

theawesomeone · 2011-06-14T06:55:52+00:00

Red,

I think a little more context might help. How old are you? How old are the chicks you're meeting? Where are you meeting them?

What kind of dates are you going on?

Do you have any kind of apprehension when you are escalating physically? Are you thinking in your head, "ok now I should be placing my hand on her shoulder..."

When you meet a girl at a bar or a club, you should aim to physically escalate quickly, and at least kiss. This sets the tone for the next time you guys meet, and you should get physically comfortable from the get go.

Have you considered taking your date to a bar towards the end of the night? A little alcohol loosens things up, plus the atmosphere is more conducive to a little more sexual tension. At some point you can try having your back against the bar, and pulling her in so she's very close and start using a more sensual voice. I like to smell a girl's hair (for no other reason that it usually smells good), so I might whisper "Mmm you're hair smells good..." then kiss her on the neck under her ear, then slowly move up, if she's feeling your vibe, she'll turn to kiss you.

Or take her somewhere with an nice view, looking over the city lights. While she's gazing at the scene, hug her from behind. You can squeeze her a little, and throw in a tease, like "Hmm...you're taller than I thought, must be those 6 inch heels you're wearing huh?" or something simple like, "this feels pretty good huh?"

More over, naturally you already know how to do this, but in your head you might be playing it safe by sticking to normal conversation topics. You need to realize that you are a sex-worthy man, and she's there because she likes you and wants you to be sensual to her.

Also, don't forget the verbal and physical push-pull. A nice smelling cologne can't hurt also, one spray on the neck, that's it.

Sarge on brother...

RedPosterboard · 2011-06-14T15:23:01+00:00

Thanks for the multiple useful advices many people have given. That will definitely be useful in the field.

Some people requested a little more detailed info; I'm 30 years old and always sucked with women. It was always THE biggest problem in my life.

Change did not come about until I discovered The Game three years ago and I started doing direct day game those twenty months ago, and since then I've direct approached up to 300 girls and gotten up to 150 phone numbers and those maybe 70 dates.

I'm doing things right the first step of the way; I approach, get IOIs, phone numbers and plenty of dates. On the dates I typically get strong IOI's too, yet... for some reason... fail to close. It's driving me crazy to not be able to pin-point where I lose them so I can change it.

One of the problems I'm faced with is the language and culture barriers, since I live in China and have to date many of my girls in Chinese. Girls here tend to be a little more conservative than in the West, yet I got wings here who manage to close date after date. He, some of the girls here even think that I just want to befriend them, even though I open them with direct game...

While admittedly it may be in the grey zone of ethics to bring a microphone on a date and have a friend sit and listen in to how I blow my chances to smithereens so I can improve on myself and become a stronger and happier person, what is the harm done to anyone?

Does it in any way harm the girl to have an objective listener sit in and take notes of where I screw up? Don't I actually help to make her grow and become a more confident person by chatting her up with a direct opener in the street?

Heck, I'd rather not have to do it this way; I'd rather not have to constantly face AA and risk social rejection by going up and give to a complete stranger who, based on my experience, is most likely going to reject me, in addition to the frustrations of not knowing where I screw up, when other people can live content and happy lives with their emotional needs satisfied.

So therefore, once again, thanks for the many valuable inputs! I figured out how to consistently approach in the daytime, how to hook, number close, get instant dates, and day2s. Even though it's a bloody struggle to get the final elements in my game down, I'll get to close consistently too, eventually - with a little help from my friends.

So, I'll fuck the whining and sarge on!

theubernoob · 2011-06-14T07:38:51+00:00

Fuck reading shit. You are going on a good amount of dates and at the rate you're going you should be able to figure shit out. Go on a date, try something new, figure out what went right/wrong, apply to next situation. I guess you're applying the same shit to all your dates which only gets you something 20% of the time. I mean that has to be the case.

STOP FUCKING THINKING. STOP BREAKING DOWN PERCENTAGES. START SAYING "FUCK IT" AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

I just can't imagine anyone going on 60 dates and only closing 12 of them without applying the exact same failing technique every single time.

Throw yourself in there and see what happens. You honestly don't need a book to figure out how it's done.

RedPosterboard · 2011-06-14T00:46:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

heckz · 2011-06-14T01:49:28+00:00

You're getting flak for recording your dates but honestly that's not a bad idea. You probably can get the best feedback on your dates by actually listening to your conversation vs remembering things. It's like athletics.. one video can show you a million things wrong with your form that you would have never noticed without that new perspective.

thedevguy · 2011-06-14T11:27:33+00:00

You need a cool female friend.

Whenever a girl has liked me enough to hang out, but not enough to have sex, I invite her out with a group of friends. One of my friends is a super cool, smart and attractive girl. And she's basically an alpha. She flirts with guys in order to make their girlfriends jealous just so that she feels powerful I guess. But anyway, just having her around works wonders. Every guy in the room focuses on her, and when you occasionally say something to the girl you're really after, she's hungry for the attention.

bigskymind · 2011-06-14T00:52:12+00:00

A friend listens in on your dates? Something's not quite right here.

desertsail912 · 2011-06-14T06:29:08+00:00

This whole thread is like listening to the annual meeting of douche bags international.

Old_Timey_Advice · 2011-06-14T03:36:53+00:00

A penetrating gaze and a courtly manner

sch3ct3r · 2011-06-14T06:30:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2011-06-14T17:30:32+00:00

Ask her questions about her sexuality (of course, it has to be a comfortable time) like how often she likes to have sex, what does she like to do in bed, etc. Compliment her on her lips (it's ok to compliment her if you are past the rapport stage, just don't get crazy about it). Call them sexy....One thing I do is after the first date I text them that it took everything I had not to push them up against the wall and make out with them. This really works well.

Bobsutan · 2011-06-15T02:25:00+00:00

Being verbal can be too blunt. Sexual escalation via kino is where it's at.

dand11587 · 2011-06-14T04:45:03+00:00

your low success rate is definitely due to the fact that the girls realize they are being recorded halfway through the date.

wewewawa · 2011-06-14T03:39:18+00:00

In case you are dumb like me:

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/fswiki.cgi?Kino

Dresden718 · 2011-06-14T12:15:46+00:00

I like to tell girls we will not be having sex. Then proceed to take of their clothes and make them beg for sex.

Title	How to sexualize your dates
Author	RedPosterboard
Upvotes	86
Comments	134
Date	June 13, 2011 11:43 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hyxwi/how_to_sexualize_your_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-sexualize-your-dates.1319256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1319256

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