When I was a young man I naively asked some of my friends and family how to make girls like me.

They all said some form of the following,

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Just be yourself and the right person will come along.

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So basically put in absolutely no effort, and rely on my innate strengths.

At the time it genuinely sounded like a great idea, especially after growing up on Disney movies my whole life.

So I tried it out.

I genuinely cannot tell you how many times I got told,

"Aww Gio I'm flattered. You will make some luck girl very happy someday. But I only see you as a friend. "

Spectacular.

It was only after I completely discarded the idea being myself I started seeing any progress in my love life, then only recently did it become apparent to me how bad the advice truly was.

How would you feel if you had to prepare for a boxing match and your coach said,

"Listen son, you're great just the way you are, don't train one bit, just rely on your strengths. "

I don't care who you're fighting against, you're going to lose.

Do not be yourself, become a better version of yourself.

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Humans do not interact in a vacuum, the girl you want, has four other men who want them.

Make no mistake, it is a fight.

The only way you come out on top is if your quality is above that of the other options.

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One day you will encounter a woman you fall in love with.

If you've put in the effort to:

  • Build a body you're proud of
  • Learn how to hold a conversation
  • Curate an attractive wardrobe
  • Eat right
  • Reach ambitious goals

You will wipe the floor with the other men trying to court the same woman.

You will blow them out of the water.

If however you rely on the advice to just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may...

When it comes down to you vs him, who do you think your dream girl will choose?

Being yourself is not good enough, you need to improve, and anyone who says otherwise is deluded.