World changed right before my eyes.

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-04-11T03:50:29+00:00

It's said that attention is sex for women. The availability of attention on demand from legions of men via the smartphone really changed things.

That, and we live in a society that lets women follow their hearts and explore themselves even to the point of abandoning functional marriages to "Find myself".

Or as I put it, society (inc. most Churches, not just Media) allows women to act like it's 2024, but demands things from men like it's 1954. Worse, actually, since men of the 50s were considered good and decent as long as they weren't serious addicts and had a steady job and put food on the table.

Men these days are subject to "My money, my money, but his money is our money", 100% of the outdoor work, AND 50% of the interior work. There are tiktoks of SAHMs with one 5-year old complaining their 40-50 hour/week husband doesn't do half the laundry and dishes on top of working.

Significant_Rope976 · 2024-04-11T00:30:42+00:00

Yup, it did, especially after the advent of iPhone in 2006 and Social Media soon after. People say social media changed people. I feel they just enabled the inner demons that has existed since forever.

It enabled the women to shop around their sexuality from the local mom-&-pop shop to a global amazon-like marketplace. Humankind will adapt, but we are living in the wild wild west phase of the social interaction period. IMHO Gen-Z is already better adapted than millennials.

MidniteOG · 2024-04-10T23:21:08+00:00

Yup. I took those vows knowing full well I wouldn’t break them unless there were dire circumstances. I knew we had issues, but nothing that couldn’t be overcome or that wouldn’t be temporary. At times I questioned my love, but never lost it and always came home.

Turns out all the love i thought we shared was one sided

DivorceCoachTeddy · 2024-04-10T22:47:51+00:00

I don’t think the world has changed all that much for the vast majority of people. However, social media has created the impression that the lunatics are running the asylum. Most people are still reasonable and try to do what’s right, but their voices don’t get boosted in the algorithm, or they simply aren’t the type to seek online attention. Don’t lose hope; in my daily interactions with clients, I can see that the world is not as chaotic as it seems. Regarding your relationship with your wife, it’s important to have an honest one-on-one conversation with her. Express how it feels when you’re not appreciated or when the children are used as a sort of power play against you. If you approach the conversation calmly, deliberately, and constructively, without being rude or condescending, she should be open to listening and, hopefully, to making positive changes. If that doesn’t happen, then you need to stand your ground. Continually allowing someone to disrespect you will only encourage them to continue doing so.

Rwarmander · 2024-04-09T21:14:53+00:00

It’s even worse if your spouse comes out as a member of the LGBTQ community. Like I can’t even act a little angry or upset. My marriage is over but everyone is talking about how brave she was, how sorry they were she had to live in the closet. Not a fucking one person has wondered if my son and I are ok through this. We are expected to just understand and move forward with everything in our lives being a lie now.

notconvinced780 · 2024-04-09T16:40:28+00:00

My 23 year marriage ended with my (now) ex-wife asking for a divorce on our anniversary, literally minutes after returning from the airport following our oldest son’s college graduation. While I was shocked at the request for divorce, I did know that she was unhappy… which in turn made me unhappy spending my life walking on eggshells, and being ever vigilant for “secret tests”. After a few months of reacquainting myself with…myself, I got over my fear of being lonely, and realized I was alone but much less lonely than I had been in my marriage. I started dating and having fun again.
My kids are much better off with the marriage of their unhappy parents terminated. Instead of an environment with a terrible, unhappy relationship being modeled, they now see their parents (at least one of us) in a much healthier, emotionally stable environment.
The girl I’ve been dating for about a year is fabulous. My kids now see mutual care, love and feelings of self-worth in a healthy relationship modeled for them. You’re pissed right now, but don’t get hung up on the “sunken-cost fallacy “. You are now unshackled from an unrewarding relationship to someone whose core values clearly don’t align with your own. When you embrace this truth, you will allow yourself to be happy. You will view the end of your bad relationship as the triumph it is. At some point you will look back at your STBXW ending the marriage as the best give she’s ever given you. I’m excited for you to start and enjoy the next chapter!! Good luck and enjoy the journey, including the bumps and hurdles. You will be shocked at how good it is on the other side!!

James_Jimothy · 2024-04-09T14:46:37+00:00

Society has changed from valuing things outside the individual (family, community, country) to worshipping the self and individual gratification. Feminist dogma endorses competition between the sexes over cooperation and the family unit suffers. You might be waking up to how pervasive it is.

LeftySmithy · 2024-04-09T12:30:06+00:00

You're not wrong.

At the very beginning stages of the relationship with my STBXW It was very obvious there was a lot of misandry on her side of the family.

There were a bunch of other red flags too but that was one of the large ones I should have paid more attention to.

Feminism started out with a purpose long ago (suffrage, equal pay) but evolved into something that has actually damaged most women.

Mine also had a lot of mental problems too but I don't think the attitude towards men helped anything.

I made my share of mistakes in the relationship as well. So I'm not saying it was all her fault. But I'm just validating what you're saying about the degeneration of values.

DivorceTA1988 · 2024-04-09T11:49:06+00:00

My STBXW ran into MY old friend when she was away right when we began our separation. He had the AUDACITY to write her a note saying “how brave” she was for leaving her loving spouse and family. It’s pure insanity. Fortunately we had lost touch after he moved and finding that note let me know where his head was at.

And this guy was divorced and didn’t have any kids and WTF does he know. It’s garbage, fuck that guy.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-09T10:00:51+00:00

> Does anyone feel like the world is so fucking different now than it was even maybe 10 years ago?

Nothing has changed in a decade. You finally woke up to the painful reality of the world, like every other man in this sub (including me).

> The lack of gender roles ruined my marriage.

Stop making excuses why your marriage failed. Were you a man that other men wanted to be and other women wanted to sleep with? Did you lead your marriage? Did you have your finances on lockdown? Did you let yourself go the dad bod route? You point the fingers at her, but the reason she blew up the marriage is because she resented you for being a pushover. She held up a mirror. Do you like what you see?

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-04-09T06:25:17+00:00

Time for you to get and read No More Mr Nice Guy.

idiskfla · 2024-04-09T03:19:30+00:00

24-7 mobile dating apps changed everything in my opinion. Made women who were 3s think they were 10s and men who were 8s feel like they were 2s.

The two big beneficiaries? 1. Absolute chads who just want to bang and don’t care about LTR or repercussions. 2. The tech companies.

Everyone else is generally worse-off.

Change my mind.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-04-09T02:42:31+00:00

Rise of feminism; women telling other women they don’t need a man to take care of them. Screw your kids just leave them at home and you can “travel the world” while taking pics to show off on social media , body positivity ; a woman can be 300lbs and other women will give praise to her for being “brave” and “beautiful “ thus inflating their egos even more m, every woman is a 10 in their eyes. Yes it’s a sad world we are living in my friend

Title	World changed right before my eyes.
Author	LuvDonkeeButts
Upvotes	64
Comments	84
Date	April 9, 2024 2:34 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bzh3p5/world_changed_right_before_my_eyes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/world-changed-right-before-my-eyes.1514516 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514516

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