How do guys who are settled for make the most of it?

Odd_Ad5171 · 2024-04-11T05:44:22+00:00

They delude themselves that they were not settled for. Do you really believe that many people have the self awareness that they were settled for? No, they just spin, rationalize, and keep slogging on

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2024-04-11T01:36:05+00:00

My older brother was in this situation. He is/was an engineering nerd, married a beautiful women who clearly had a plan. They divorced two years after the wedding she kept the house and moved her ex into it. He had a mental breakdown and travelled the world for a few years before restarting his career and is on his second marriage with four kids now but he has a prenup.

CatholicSolutions · 2024-04-10T23:30:45+00:00

They realize that they are possibly the best guy that she can ever have.

Bandit174 · 2024-04-11T00:00:50+00:00

I think you have to do it before hand. If you've already married a woman who settled for you then you already lost.

If you identify that you're betabux material and accept women will only ever view you as the stable guy to settle down with after they've been ran through by hotter guys then you can try to maximize the transaction and aim for as hot of a woman as your money allows you to get.

Either that or just never marry and make them a "forever girlfriend" and then when they dump you after getting tired of waiting for the ring just rinse and repeat.

pence_secundus · 2024-04-10T23:56:03+00:00

I think they see it in the way a lot of other guys may see it.

A lot of women who think they settled are also deluded too, sure maybe X years ago she had other options but she doesn't have them now.

Also those guys she thinks she could have gotten, there's no guarantee they would have stayed around unlike the man she is with.

Just saying I've seen women who think they settled but truth is they may have been confusing short term options with long term options which for most women is a huge gap.

I bet a lot of guys with partners like this know this.

RedstarHeineken1 · 2024-04-11T01:56:25+00:00

The same way women do

szclimber · 2024-04-11T02:37:47+00:00

A lot of men settle hard. If they want their own kids and family, extreme compromises are made sometimes.

Safinated · 2024-04-11T01:16:16+00:00

Most of us get older, more tired, busier and less attractive

In other words, ain’t nobody got time for that shit.

Especially if you have kids

DatabaseAfraid7176 · 2024-04-11T02:32:58+00:00

If she thinks she's "settling" and you think you could do better, don't have a relationship with her.

If you both think you're "settling" (neither could find a better partner) then go for it.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-04-11T11:13:27+00:00

The concept of settling is nebulous. Unclear what that means. Does every guy who dreams of marrying a supermodel 'settle' when they do get married?

So I think you need better framing here. Do you mean when a guy marries a woman who isn't sufficiently attracted to him that she actually likes sex with him? A wife who has slept with men she considers hotter or to have provided a better sexual experience? A wife who feels disappointed in her man from the beginning but feels forced to pick someone for whatever reasons?

Dankutoo · 2024-04-11T12:08:34+00:00

Almost everyone settles. It’s not a big deal.

The very idea of ‘settling’ is the worst part. People overcomplicate this and have silly, fairy-tale ideas about love and life.

Do you like someone? Do they like you? Good. WTF more do you want?

Whiskeymyers75 · 2024-04-11T22:09:02+00:00

Most of these men are setting too as women get fat and saggy so I guess they’re even.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-04-11T00:00:20+00:00

How would you even know? Particularly if you know her prior partners were worse than you in some way?

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obviousredflag · 2024-04-11T12:19:23+00:00

If settling is worse than not settling: break up and be single while looking for a partner that would not be settling. If settling is better than to keep looking for a better partner: you already are at the best possible point. Be happy.

Bubbly_Tap1115 · 2024-04-11T15:32:42+00:00

Honestly you just can't care too much about a person. As long as you can have sex when you want to, and when its over she can bounce. next one. its called settle and go.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2024-04-12T02:49:48+00:00

Cheat.

pixiehutch · 2024-04-12T05:50:20+00:00

People get together for all sorts of reasons and it's usually for solving a need within ourselves. The cool thing about marriage/relationships is it helps us grow past this. If someone 'settled' and the other person agreed to the relationship then they now have the opportunity to use that situation to grow up and create something great together.

giveuporfindaway · 2024-04-13T01:06:39+00:00

Drink a lot of Koolaid, get distracted by mercy fucks between dead bedroom deserts and be pre-occupied with raising offspring.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2024-04-11T00:34:07+00:00

If they find out she feels like she settled they'll probably leave her. IDK what other end game there is for them.

YasuotheChosenOne · 2024-04-11T03:16:07+00:00

Fuck her as often and as much as possible.

LapazGracie · 2024-04-11T00:49:47+00:00

Once you pair bond it doesn't fucking matter.

We call it "love" and a lot of other words. It's simple animal instincts to help us raise children together.

paputsza · 2024-04-11T01:51:00+00:00

settling is complicated, it generally happens before they start dating. In the modern world people settle the less relevant icks they have like wearing a hat in the winter. "Good dick and mentally stable unlike my ex" are still there so settled men can console themselves with that knowledge. Also, women who settle think it's a hassle to start dating again, so as long as he's a not a nuisance he's safe.

apresonly · 2024-04-11T15:48:24+00:00

you dont have to date anyone you dont want to

if you feel you are being settled for, or there isn't enough passion or sex or reciprocity, you dont have to date them.

people without boundaries are unsafe for everyone.

HappyVer · 2024-04-11T00:32:47+00:00

If she married you, then I wouldn't worry about it. She married you because you were the best option she felt was available.

Some women are alpha widowed meaning they had an opportunity to date/have sex with a high value man, but the man had a variety of options and only wanted to have sex with her and wouldn't seriously commit to a real relationship with her.

To put it another way, a guy (who is a 9) swiped right on her (who is a 7) and he pumped and dumped her, and now she thinks she's a 9 because she thinks she got genuine interest from a guy who's a 9. In reality, maybe she could only secure a genuine serious relationship from a guy who is a 7.

She might be deluded, but you could ask yourself, why would she pick you if she thought she really had better options available? Maybe you have other attributes that make you marriage material where the other guys didn't.

throwaway164_3 · 2024-04-11T03:10:03+00:00

By realizing you are settling too.

That’s why it’s important men fuck a hot woman before they settle. That way they’ve got that out of their system,

Prudent-Conflict-557 · 2024-04-11T07:39:34+00:00

A better question would be “how many women feel like they’ve settled” and then go from there

Large-Signal-157 · 2024-04-11T11:13:56+00:00

By having the best relationship you can despite that. This is a lifelong relationship, some blinders must be put on sometimes.

Title	How do guys who are settled for make the most of it?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	11
Comments	83
Date	April 10, 2024 7:38 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1c0uf80/how_do_guys_who_are_settled_for_make_the_most_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-guys-who-are-settled-for-make-the-most-of.1514709 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514709

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