Why is it that the most outwardly sexist guys I know that do the best with women?

PakDrescot · 2024-04-25T14:18:20+00:00

The fact that you're in your early 20s has a lot to do with it.

Also, those jerks probably have things going for them that women find attractive despite the misogynist attitudes. Maybe they're fit and good looking. They probably put themselves out there and actually talk to women and can support themselves financially.

I've also known co workers who've had lots of success with women that displayed less than ideal attitudes. The thing is they also struck out a lot too, but nobody ever pays attention to that. I'd imagine most of them had an under 50 percent success rate.

The bottom line is both genders will often look past a flaw in their potential partners if they have other attractive qualities that stand out.

BrokenArrows95 · 2024-04-25T13:30:49+00:00

So many factors. Do they talk like that to the women? Are they physically fit and well groomed? Do they have a lot of confidence and put themselves out there? Are they funny and charming outside of their misogyny? Are they the only ones approaching?

You can hide a lot of you’re only talking to someone for a couple days.

OptimalIssue9514 · 2024-04-25T13:35:22+00:00

It is always the same bullshit in this sub. "Why men who display misogynistic opiniones in front of me have success with women?"

Because 👏 they 👏 are 👏 not 👏 openly 👏 misogynistic 👏 with 👏 women 👏 in 👏 the 👏 first 👏 place

Sexism also involve displaying benevolent sexism towards women.

Do You really think those guys are telling to those women in the first date: "Yeah, I don't think you should vote and you are useful only for sex"

The only guys I know who do that and display hostile sexism are incels.

Dougsie2 · 2024-04-25T13:05:41+00:00

I think that a lot of the time it comes down to the men willing to put themselves out there. If they pursue women their likelihood of hooking up with them increases substantially.

oldcousingreg · 2024-04-25T14:39:46+00:00

Sex isn’t the same thing as relationships. Don’t assume it’s a good experience

Stargazer1919 · 2024-04-25T13:52:52+00:00

They're probably getting with women who are also sexist.

undercovertrad · 2024-04-25T13:42:05+00:00

To be fair, men who are comfortable “pumping and dumping” lots of women are misogynistic by nature and tend to view women as not entirely worth the same as them. They certainly don’t care about their feelings. That being the case, they are also more likely to use coercive and manipulative tactics to get women into bed as well as seeking out women they know have boundary issues and lower self worth. It’s not about the man being attractive as much as it is about his willingness to use questionable morals and seek vulnerable targets to get the sex fix he’s looking for.

And as someone who grew up in military culture, I can tell you a lot of women in the military have issues around self worth and respecting their femininity. In general, because of their internal wounds, they are often there trying to prove themselves every bit as aggressive and hypersexual as male soldiers, which will make them prone to poor decision making around sexual partners.

Men who are not misogynistic at their core tend to respect women more than to try to use as many of them as possible for sex and then dishonor the woman by spreading the details around his platoon.

Turbulent-Estimate43 · 2024-04-25T13:52:38+00:00

There’s a couple things that could be happening, but idk cuz I’m not those women.

Sometimes people look it at super face value and they’re like, ah I’m just gonna have sex with them so their comments don’t matter. I think misogynistic comments can be a turn off for some women especially if they’re looking for an actual relationship and not a hookup, but if they’re just gonna have a physical relationship they might not care.

Maybe the woman also believes misogynistic things but they don’t realize that they do. There’s a lot of misogynistic stuff that women just internalize as truth bc it’s how they were brought up.

Sometimes people sleep with people for validation. It might make them feel good to get the attention of some hot shot guy and have sex with them. Like an insecurity thing. Guys and girls do this all the time.

I think the core concept of this can be found in so many situations. There’s guys I’ve spoken to where I’ve been confused why they slept with someone they didn’t even like, and it was because they were insecure and afraid of being rejected even by someone they didn’t like.

I hope that kinda helps?? I get how seeing it happening would be frustrating.

Vandal865 · 2024-04-25T14:02:07+00:00

I think a harsh truth some people need to realize is that some people can get away with a whole lot more than someone who isn't as attractive, both men and women fall for it (halo effect).

I say some because the effect isn't universal. For everyone who ignores red flags or seeks out partners based on looks alone, there's someone who does the opposite. My girlfriend chose me in a college town full of rich fraternity kids, and I'm not rich nor a 10/10 supermodel.

You said it yourself that you don't exactly have a large sample size, that, and confirmation bias is probably skewing your view.

I'll be the first to admit that being conventionally attractive can let you get away with a lot, but this doesn't work on everyone. Those are the people you need to notice and pursue and put time towards getting to know.

I'm in the Air Force, so I kind of know what it's like, and I've seen many of the same behaviors in my unit. But when I go home on leave and see my fellow short and mostly liberal friends with their long-term girlfriends, my perspective balances itself out.

sss133 · 2024-04-26T00:56:30+00:00

Generally speaking, sexist guys that are good with women aren’t going up to chicks saying “Hey Bitch, cook me eggs!” There’s usually a charming facade that starts. Then eventually the real side comes out.

You see quite a bit with these relationships where the “normal” person (any gender can be toxic and any relationship can have toxicity) in the relationship is caught off guard by the toxic one being toxic. They’ve developed feelings though so they’ll get manipulated into thinking that the facade was the real person.

I know a fair few people (myself included) that have been in a relationship and said “This is different” when people have called out the toxicity. Only to realise later that it was no different and my feelings were excusing poor behaviour.

w1gw4m · 2024-04-25T13:28:15+00:00

I think you have confirmation bias.

ShitFacedSteve · 2024-04-25T19:38:02+00:00

If someone doesn't care about a woman's feelings it becomes much easier to lie and misrepresent yourself without feeling any remorse

Where if someone is caring and sees women as people they might be more worried about hurting her feelings or making her uncomfortable.

I'm sure these guys put on a whole false persona around women and not all women can see through that facade

No-Expression-399 · 2024-04-25T21:08:24+00:00

I am 100% sure I know the answer to this as I’ve actually spent decades trying to figure this out myself.

It’s because these very men rely heavily on manipulation, they know the right things to say and how to make you feel loved/comfortable. They NEVER reveal anything negative about themselves, so it seems that they have the looks AND the “kind” yet confident personality that women like. They know how to talk themselves in and out of any situation, and they always use very slick manipulation techniques that no one is going to recognize unless they study this very thing or have prior experience with spotting manipulation.

bunker_man · 2024-04-25T23:37:44+00:00

Because guys who are equally sexist, but worse with women, try to hide it a little more in the hopes they will do better.

wasted_basshead · 2024-04-25T15:44:04+00:00

They’re probably pro-social. Charming and cunning. Many men like that will lie to women, at first.. then they get tired of “being someone else” and show their true colors. It’s either broken off or the cycle of abuse continues because we try and see the best in our partners.

Artilicious9421 · 2024-04-25T14:06:32+00:00

Because a lot of them put a mask at first, use manipulation and go after pick mes and insecure women. Those "relationship" arent healthy. Also if you are always staying home and never approching women,you have to change that. Most of the cases of those men switching up after marriage, after having kids and after the couple leave together. Stop comparing yourself to ah.

Other_Dimension_5048 · 2024-04-25T15:16:58+00:00

The women that are sleeping with are probably low on self esteem

OR

These men MASK THEIR MISOGYNY!!!!

FuckinEhMon · 2024-04-25T16:16:10+00:00

As someone had pointed out, them being well groomed is one sticking point, that gives them an advantage.

But with that said, avoid framing your question in a way that blames women for men abusing them.

xvszero · 2024-04-25T17:26:51+00:00

Define "the best". Like, hooking up a lot? Is that what you want?

Does anyone you talk to have longterm, mutually satisfying relationships?

dalen52 · 2024-04-25T13:17:56+00:00

Remember They make different rules if they find them attractive

Confidence and arrogance are confused and sometimes they find them attractive briefly

It would be best to find out who you are. And not compare yourself

Awkward-Wave-5857 · 2024-04-26T16:45:41+00:00

More likely to make a move, less likely to care about rejection, less worried about what people think of them, louder and more in their own reality etc. They’re getting laid in spite of their misogyny, not because of it

Ill-Bite-6864 · 2024-04-26T17:30:26+00:00

Early 20s is key. I feel like every woman has to cycle through some of these assholes until we learn the lesson. A lot these men lead women on, bc truth is most women don’t actually want casual sex, we fantasize about a relationship with the guy and delude ourselves into thinking it will miraculously happen. We also want validation too, and like others said, lack of self respect, naivety, insecurity, lack of meaningful hobbies or values, is the pathway to those men. Women are awakening too now. Voluntary celibacy is becoming a new wave.

azucarleta · 2024-04-25T16:22:18+00:00

I would think even the women marines are sort of sexist and fucked up in what they expect from men. Don't forget that women are often the police and reinforcers of machoismo.

PerspectiveWest4701 · 2024-04-25T18:51:45+00:00

Sexism, religion, classism, racism, etc... There are lots of reasons for people to be shallow and getting into relationships with abusive fucks. But people getting into relationships with abusive fucks is not biologically predetermined or essential to womanhood.

People getting into abusive relationships is mundane in the same way that sociopaths getting hired for jobs they aren't fit for is mundane. The problem with Redpill views isn't acknowledging that women can be shallow and discriminate, or that dating kind of sucks. The problem is pinning all the blame on women as a group.

Individual women can totally be dicks. But women as a class aren't responsible for the issue.

Still thinking about this sort of shit. But I liked Simone de Beauvoir's "The Second Sex" on some of this stuff. She really goes into the psychology of womanhood for better and worse. And the masochism and narcissism of playing into the role of the Other.

Emma_Lemma_108 · 2024-04-25T20:49:58+00:00

Do men looking for one night stands do a deep dive on the personality of a prospective lay? Same thing is probably happening here.

Those men might be partying more, approaching more women, etc, so naturally they’ll encounter others looking for the same thing more often. If they can pull off surface level charm, well, that’s all a casual/one night partner is ever going to see, anyway.

There are also women with low self esteem or who are, themselves, misogynistic, so they may know about the sexism but either agree with that perspective or not place as much importance on it as they (arguably) ought to.

MilkchocolateHero · 2024-04-26T16:42:44+00:00

I understand it may be frustrating being in your environment and seeing that behavior get validated and rewarded by others. However you do not need to act in that manner to have successful sexual and romantic relationships with women. You can be masculine and confident without having to constantly needing to reaffirm it to others.

There are many factors at play including but not limited to environment, age demographic, upbringing, etc. Certain groups of women will be reponsive to that kind of behavior from men because of a variety of these factors aligning in certain ways.

I think there may be a tendency for some people to confuse arrogance with confidence. So even though these men may be saying or doing sexist or misogynistic things, they manage to do well in short term sexual relationships. Many younger women lack life experience so they are more likely to confuse the hyper masculine bravado for confidence.

If you are a quiet or reserved person, you will likely have to push yourself significantly further outside if your comfort zone than other more outgoing, gregarious people. The more people you meet, the higher the chances are of you meeting women that you are compatible with. This may be difficult to do in your current environment.

Monkebizniss · 2024-04-26T03:50:19+00:00

I know a guy like this exactly. Super misogynistic, decent looking but not especially attractive, and under average height (probably 5’6”). Yet he gets women (not to mention cheats on his girlfriend constantly) — I have to believe because he just shotguns it, is more confident than he should be, and isn’t phased at all by rejection. He’s shown me how he messages girls on IG with basically zero game, simping over them without even getting replies. But 1 out of 100 like the attention enough to sleep with him!

This isn’t to say I envy his success. He spends far more time chatting up random women than I would care to, is clearly using this behavior to mask some deep-seated insecurity, and just doesn’t seem to be motivated by anything other than sex. I would probably not date someone who slept with him because I’d lose a good deal of respect for that person, but other than that, it doesn’t affect me in any way. The life he’s chosen is one way to live, and ultimately I realize I could probably do it too if that’s what I cared most about, but it’s not a life I desire.

PleasePleaseHer · 2024-04-25T21:10:44+00:00

I wonder if there’s a bias here based on the types of women entering military, I don’t know any myself but perhaps they come from families where the fathers are domineering and traditional. Just a thought. Sometimes humans can be their own worst enemies, especially in your 20s you can perpetuate shitty dynamics you experienced growing up and sometimes you realise it and change your ways and sometimes you don’t.

PlantHag · 2024-04-26T00:54:42+00:00

Most (heterosexual) women want a partner who is more masculine then they are. If you’re a Marine then I imagine most of the women you work with are a bit less girly and have a more masculine energy then the typical woman, either by nature or out of necessity in order to be effective at work. Dumb caveman misogynist is a trope but it also heavily implies a very masculine man, whether or not the masculinity is toxic.

Also, don’t take this the wrong way but you are 20 so I assume most of the co-workers you’re observing are around that age. The early twenties are the era of peak dumbassery for most men and women, so try not to take it to heart.

lily8686 · 2024-04-26T04:18:54+00:00

Are you sure they get girls? Or are they saying they do? Likely they’re all bluffing and making up shit.

Also, women sleeping with men does not always have anything to do with whether or not they like them. Women that are down for casual hookups will do so with a guy they don’t give a shit about and don’t want to be in a relationship with

ashaw7 · 2024-04-27T16:21:04+00:00

If women are looking for a hookup, they are generally not going to care too much about if a guy is sexist. They will care more about things like confidence and looks. It might be a bit different if we were talking about long term relationships.

ZenSawaki · 2024-04-28T01:53:56+00:00

Being misogynistic doesn't prevent you from getting women. You simply do what you must do and have what you have to have. On top of that, if you are misogynistic or not is of no relevance.

ZenSawaki · 2024-04-28T02:19:23+00:00

Also, don't believe that these feminist echo-chambers are a good representation of reallity. Most women IRL have no problem with misogyny.

Front_Statistician38 · 2024-04-25T13:30:34+00:00

Guys who are handsome misogynist are very confident and arrogant in their masculinity and that’s a turn on for a lot of women, especially in this age of soy

goodboy92 · 2024-04-25T15:56:05+00:00

Because those men take their shot with women. Other misogynist men do nothing but complain about women and never actually make a move on them.

guppyhunter7777 · 2024-04-25T18:43:49+00:00

Just for clarification. Was there an answer other than “it’s 110% all men’s fault” that was not going to get down voted? Asking for a friend

Silver_Switch_3109 · 2024-04-25T19:31:10+00:00

Those men don’t respect boundaries which means they are more likely to break the touch barrier, and mot breaking the touch barrier is a big reason why many men fail at getting women.

ROBYoutube · 2024-04-25T23:31:01+00:00

This is a lie. If being sexist gets the bitches, go be sexist. See how you do. I'll bet you'll get fucking nobody because no women like that shit you lying liar / dipshit.

ChidiOk · 2024-04-26T00:41:10+00:00

A lot of times it not about what you do or what you say, but how you do it and how you say it, it comes down to confidence and how you make a woman “feel” it’s not always about logic or what makes the most sense logically.

Women will say a lot of logical things but then sometimes do the complete opposite of what they say and the reason for that is because they tend to be driven by emotions, not always logic alone,

Where as men tend to be more driven by logic and less emotions.

Obviously we can’t say this is true for everybody.

But women will often choose a confident guy that makes them “feel” a certain way, over a guy that logically makes sense.

This isn’t about redpill, blue pill or whatever. It’s just more about natural human nature mating tendencies. In a sense we can say the more confident guy, the fierce one, the one who stands up for themselves and asserts themselves is seen in a sense like a Lion, the King of the jungle, where as the smarter, more logical one, the safe pick is more like a monkey.

Of course the Lion is going to get her thrill and emotions going and attraction will be strong, so in the early stages of dating, girls will tend to like guys that reflect this stronger, confident personality over the logical choices that are good for them. However when it’s time to marry she might prefer something more like a monkey type, Logic, smarts, consistency, nurturing and provider aspects over pure passion.

I hate to be that guy and maybe this sounds redpill but it’s honestly not. It’s just attraction and how it works at a more primal level.

Hopefully this is helpful. I guess this is why nice guys finish last.

Edit: Essentially my whole point of this response was to say: it doesn’t matter so much what they believe or what they say, it’s more about how they assert themselves, their confidence, etc. maybe these more misogynistic guys just tend to have more assertive and confident personalities or are manipulative to the point where they can trick a girl to think they do.

Something_qwerty · 2024-04-26T09:00:09+00:00

Now that it's convenient for womens arguments their misogyny detector they claim they have magically doesn't fucking work, God damn these fucking liars, always changing the narrative instead of just telling the truth.

Express-Fig-5168 · 2024-04-25T17:48:22+00:00

Some women like to have all the cards on the table. Better an open misogynist than a secret one.

Some women like special treatment for being women.

There are multiple factors for different women. Varies by individual.

chimmychummyextreme · 2024-04-25T13:15:23+00:00

Because of their great personalities and how often they shower.

Graineon · 2024-04-25T13:52:37+00:00

Just as men tend to be attracted to feminine traits, women tend to be attracted to masculine traits. Arrogance in that sort is an attractive quality. It's actually a primal leadership quality. But this kind of attraction is purely limbic IMO. It's not really the kind of attraction that persists for years and flowers into a relationship full of love, companionship, and understanding.

Title	Why is it that the most outwardly sexist guys I know that do the best with women?
Author	Tall_Promotion_7160
Upvotes	39
Comments	140
Date	April 25, 2024 12:48 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1ccr31p/why_is_it_that_the_most_outwardly_sexist_guys_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/why-is-it-that-the-most-outwardly-sexist-guys-i.1516359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516359

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