Update: How do I navigate through this life dilema

JimboTheManTheLegend · 2024-09-08T23:30:10+00:00

Cut it off now. You are money not a companion here. Pass and she'll find the next one.

TroysGotIssues · 2024-09-08T23:00:18+00:00

She is from money, and she's not stupid. You brought it up for a reason..."just in case it doesn't work out" isn't the most romantic thing to say to a woman LMAO! I get that it's a business transaction too...and so does she. At least, she's negotiating with you. if you get all up in your feelings when conducting business, that's your fault, not hers...

Just continue negotiating, and eventually you'll come to a place that makes you both satisfied, if not happy.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2024-09-07T16:59:34+00:00

Nope! Get the prenup! Every women says the same thing- we are not after the money. Every men that went through a divorce can and will tell you- they don’t care if it ll F-u up and will destroy u ever worked hard for. As long and they get their “happiness”. Not yours. Not your kids. Not your family. Her happiness

Gattsama · 2024-09-05T13:21:18+00:00

There is no reason to involve the government in your love life. Marriage has several institutions: social, religious, and legal. If you choose to have the ceremony, exchange rings, make the vows, etc. That's great. If you have the ceremony in a church, have family gather, and make a pledge before your god/s; that's also fine.

But under no circumstances should you sign the contract with the governor. It's not a contract between you and your wife, but between you and the government. It is a prenup that amoung other things, outlines the terms of termination. It's a contract that provides lots of protection for the woman and zero foe the man.

If you love her and want to be with her, do so, but do not sign a legal contract to do so (or cohabitate in a common law state).

Also, women are not 'bad.' They are what they are. Protection, provisioning, and resources are what they are focused on. It's like having a dog. You love them, and they love you. But if you leave a grilled steak out while you leave the room and they eat it, that's their nature. Historically, there were checks in place to keep this aspect of female nature in check, we removed those, and her we are 🤷‍♂️

FUMoney · 2024-09-05T08:03:34+00:00

This is like the warning message from Three Body Problem: "Do not marry. Do not marry. Do not marry."

Boomhower113 · 2024-09-05T03:45:09+00:00

She’s told you everything you need to know.

Icerunner45 · 2024-09-05T03:31:52+00:00

My wife ran away with our kids over a month ago and said she only wanted custody of her kids and didn’t want any money (to my dad. She just yelled and threatened to call the cops if I tried to see my kids when we talked.) Turns out she had already filed a petition for full custody, alimony, and child support. When I asked her what was going on, she would just say she needed “time and space” and she was “trying to figure things out”. Have to love the liars right?

I would stick to wanting the prenup. Too many of these wives fall for this toxic feminism in our society encouraging them to flip a switch overnight and turn into evil people willing to rip apart a family and destroy you as their enemy because they think they’ll be happier with some younger guy who tells her nice things.

MissionToe3030 · 2024-09-05T03:10:21+00:00

"My money is my money. Your money is my money." Don't ever forget this. Even if you and your wife make the same amount, she expects YOU to provide everything.

Think of what you're doing now is preventive measure of a fatal disease that you know you're going to have. With that, you still don't want to do the right thing? Including myself, many here wish we can turn back the clock. So, the stats are not in your favor.

This is coming from a guy that was so into doing the noble thing being the sole provider and believing in the "vow" and decided against a pre-nup. When you're dealing with an emotional woman, all that is meaningless.

Good luck to you.

Brilliant_Lime_3105 · 2024-09-04T23:33:44+00:00

crack no offense but now women need to have "insurance" to take the step forward, for example in my country no one gets married legally so there are no couple rights/benefits since many unfortunate people get them pregnant and abandon them and the burden is on them

Well, they recently made legislation to force a man or woman with a strong income to pay pension or custody after 4 years of concubinage in order to give rights to the most vulnerable couples.

Maybe when she knows that you have money, she is afraid that you will leave her and she will be left with nothing.

Marriage is a business, whether you want it or not, you should see it and treat it as equal.

Betteroffalone1111 · 2024-09-04T21:03:34+00:00

“ marriage is a business transaction for women” can’t be anymore truer

Bumblebee56990 · 2024-09-04T20:29:47+00:00

Break up with her. And run.

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2024-09-04T19:18:00+00:00

You found out now and not later, so this is a major league Providential blessing.

someonesomewherex · 2024-09-04T19:01:43+00:00

It’s because she planned on becoming a stepford wife and stay at home while you supported the household.

You got lucky and discovered this before you were married. Congrats 🎉

NohoTwoPointOh · 2024-09-04T18:56:06+00:00

Reach above your head.

Find black and yellow handles. Pull down toward your face.

Eject! Eject! Eject!

sak144 · 2024-09-04T18:39:47+00:00

"I am a strong, independent, boss babe woman and don't need any man in my life for anything". Except to take his money from him after I've discarded him.

Tell her you are perfectly happy and in love with her as boyfriend/girlfriend.

Millhouse201 · 2024-09-04T18:28:18+00:00

Nope nope nope nope .. don’t marry her.. say you’re happy being the boyfriend

This_Train340i · 2024-09-04T17:41:36+00:00

She likes the State's de facto prenup written in the law much better, and would much rather marry a man without his own custom prenup. Money and security are a woman's best friends, do not be deceived. A woman's "love" is especially conditional; requiring a woman to sign a prenup that terminates lifelong security and monthly payments when she divorces bc she is no longer happy will dry her up like the Sahara Desert! You had your turn, now it is some other dude's turn.

hotrod427 · 2024-09-04T17:15:58+00:00

Red flag 🚩

A prenup should be designed to protect you and what you have now before getting married. And likewise protect her and what she has now. It should not be a safety net for her.

I could see it having some kind of protection for her in terms of alimony if she was a stay at home wife and didn't work outside the home, but it sounds like that's not the case.

Just because that's what she's proposing doesn't mean that's what you have to agree on. I'm sure some friend or relative put a bug in her ear about alimony or something. Just shut it down. Especially if she previously told you that she doesn't want your money.

MissionToe3030 · 2024-09-04T17:04:39+00:00

I’m in CA and I’ll be paying alimony for the rest of her life because we had a long marriage. And all it took was “I’m no longer happy” and now she’s in total control of my life. You think about this.

GreenCod8806 · 2024-09-04T16:29:44+00:00

Time for her to go look for a sucker who’s willing to pay her alimony then. And time for you to find a woman who loves you and not your money or your future money.

Competitive-Rub-6941 · 2024-09-04T15:59:55+00:00

So, she wants this and that and something else. Is it your responsibility to give it? No. So, don't. There is no benefit in marrying someone, might as well skip the registration of your relationship with the state.

pk2at · 2024-09-04T15:50:55+00:00

Even if she does not want your money now, she will WANT it during divorce. EVERY SINGLE TIME! When the government forces you to buy liability car insurance for < 1% chance of accident, why not force yourself to get LEGAL SEPARATION along with the marriage certificate? I have highlighted legal separation as this option offers the best protection vs. a prenup

Your thinking on future divorce is exactly the reason men lose their shirts in family court. You should plan on leaving your wife completely destitute in case of a future divorce. Why? Because there is an entire government machinery and overwhelming support to ensure YOU are left destitute in case of a divorce

Beamformer · 2024-09-04T15:36:24+00:00

I probably could have avoided my entire shit show marriage if I would have just insisted on a prenup.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-09-04T15:24:27+00:00

Simply don’t marry her then. We were all fooled once so don’t let it happen again. I’m not as against remarrying as some of the people here but only with an iron clad prenup. Also anyone arguing against signing one is a huge red flag and there’s no need to include the government in your relationship then.

FourthDimension_ · 2024-09-05T09:55:46+00:00

Women cannot be trusted. They will use your chivalry and fairness against u. Evolution made sure of that. Get rid of her while u can. Be strong now otherwise you will suffer later.

LostBob · 2024-09-04T15:10:22+00:00

I can understand being against a prenup as from an emotional perspective it can seem as if you are planning for the marriage to fail.

But you have every right to protect your assets and future interests.

It’s different when you marry young and both of you are bringing nothing into the marriage, and building that financial equity together over the course of the marriage.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-09-04T14:47:00+00:00

Why do women make our lives so hard. Even when we genuinely want them and like them.

Run man.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-09-04T14:36:20+00:00

She also want to be able to get percentage of the growth from my investment that I am bringing to the marriage.

To me this is someone already doing the mental math on WHEN things tank. Ugg.

Like, would this agreement work the other way? Tell her you'll expect alimony from her and her investments.

DivorceTA1988 · 2024-09-04T14:26:04+00:00

Not that I am planning on ever getting married again but there’s plenty of women with high paying jobs/ assets out there. I’d happily sign a document that says what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours if that’s what was offered. It’s a legal document- if we want to own real estate or something else together we can address that in an amendment.

It’s clear WHY she wants to get married so it’s time for her to hit the bricks

47omek · 2024-09-04T14:06:12+00:00

So she turned out to be a gold-digger after all. Not surprising, so many of them are in one form or another. Good job listening to the advice you got here. I'm sure it hurts now to find this out about someone you care about but trust us that in the long run you dodged a huge bullet. Don't screw up and get her pregnant! She might try for the hail mary pass when she sees that time is running out on your future together...

And don't be so sure that she planned to continue working after marriage. Plenty of em see getting that ring as a retirement plan since they can play the SAHM card in divorce and sit around doing nothing but collecting half (or more) of your check for a decade or two.

mundolingua · 2024-09-04T14:05:08+00:00

🚩🚩🚩🚩

Time to dip 🏃‍♂️✌️

Long-Review-1861 · 2024-09-04T14:01:54+00:00

The 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 are screaming at you. When people show you who they are, believe them

Title	Update: How do I navigate through this life dilema
Author	rolrola2024
Upvotes	27
Comments	43
Date	September 4, 2024 1:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f8txwj/update_how_do_i_navigate_through_this_life_dilema/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/update-how-do-i-navigate-through-this-life-dilema.1529370 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529370

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