q4w: what advice do you have for your male loved ones who believes he can convert a low value woman into a high value woman?

hazelmay925 · 2024-12-03T20:52:05+00:00

"Don't date women you aren't compatible with"

pentatonicartichoke · 2024-12-03T20:54:33+00:00

If you don't like her as she is, do not date her. You cannot change people.

KikiYuyu · 2024-12-03T21:12:03+00:00

Does this male friend explicitly use these bullshit "value" terms? Or does he just have a girlfriend he wants to "fix". Those are two very different things.

I'd never be friends with a man or woman who unironically believes in this value system.

EulenWatcher · 2024-12-03T21:05:29+00:00

I wouldn't call a person, a man or a woman, high or low value. It's demeaning and makes them look like a piece of meat in the market. I think it shows that you view them as a consumable product and not as a whole person.

Now to answer the question I'd say that he shouldn't get together with a person who he wants to change. If he can't see the future with her behaving exactly as she's behaving right now, he shouldn't waste his or her time trying to push her into the mold she probably just doesn't fit. If a modest lifestyle is what he prioritizes, he should look for a partner with similar vies and values. I'd give the same advice to any woman in a similar position.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-12-03T23:30:38+00:00

To buy your book, of course

Or, as always, mine:

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CatallaxyRanch · 2024-12-03T20:52:19+00:00

My advice for any loved one would be that you can't change a person. Going into a relationship with the intent to try and change them is a losing strategy. Cut your losses and move on.

random_radishes · 2024-12-03T20:51:42+00:00

I’d say he should break up with her. They’re clearly not compatible and if he has to tell her she can’t hang out with her friends then he’s trying to control her life way too much

So in conclusion they’re clearly not compatible so they shouldn’t be together

Poor_Olive_Snook · 2024-12-03T20:59:04+00:00

My advice would be to not try to change people.

relish5k · 2024-12-03T21:08:07+00:00

I cannot fathom that this hypothetical man would want my advice. People believe what they want to believe.

But if he were to ask me "how can I get her to change?" I would say you can't, and you should either accept her or move on.

And if I wanted to be cruel about it, I would through in that if she respected and valued you more, she wouldn't be acting this way. And that if you want her to respect and value you you need to act like a freaking man about it and not put up with that garbage behavior.

But I would likely keep my mouth shut about that, because I don't like to be cruel.

Also I would never judge anyone for hanging out with slutty friends. Slutty friends are great.

concretecannonball · 2024-12-03T21:19:53+00:00

High vs low value isn’t real. So I would advise him to lay off the redpill delulu content and unpack why he’s more concerned about what other men think about him than his own happiness.

Bossing a woman around, controlling what she wears, and insulting her friends is a great way to get her to want nothing to do with you so I guess that guy could choose between being alone or not being an insecure weirdo.

StrugglingSoprano · 2024-12-03T22:08:12+00:00

As a certified low value woman ™ I’d tell him he is delusional. People only change if they want to change.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2024-12-04T05:33:19+00:00

Don’t try and change the person you’re dating, it doesn’t work.

None of those things sound bad apart from the messages. I’m so glad my husband doesn’t have these hang ups

ConstantCode8637 · 2024-12-03T21:03:38+00:00

"Why did you pick her? You cannot change her. This is not Build a Bear. You're better off picking a more modest girl, one who you can truly accept. Put yourself in her shoes"

Feisty-Saturn · 2024-12-03T21:13:43+00:00

If he is unhappy with how she’s acting i would advise him to leave. Even if he were to manage to change her, long term it would probably just lead to resentment in her part which would ultimately kill the relationship.

ATasteofTx214 · 2024-12-03T21:15:48+00:00

Relationship/Sexual Market Value is irrelevant n real life. Make sure u both love her, respect her, and genuinely enjoy her company; make sure she honors you, respects you, and makes an effort to reciprocate your efforts; everything else will work itself out if yall don't give up.

Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2024-12-03T21:25:18+00:00

None of my male loved ones are Red Pillers. They're sane.

Stunning_Tea4374 · 2024-12-03T21:29:09+00:00

I would probably cut contact with such a family member and advice him to get therapy idk? I would probably also warn this woman about him 3:)

Routine-Present-3676 · 2024-12-03T23:35:28+00:00

"if you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough"

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-12-04T00:11:38+00:00

“Stay in your lane, nephew”

2024-12-03T21:01:59+00:00

My advice is to leave women alone and go to therapy. He sounds controlling. Not that therapy helps abusers, but I don’t know what else to suggest.

Fab_Glam_Obsidiam · 2024-12-03T21:26:44+00:00

I'd need definitions on low and high values, but I would begin by suggesting they both get into hiking and/or basketball either way.

leosandlattes · 2024-12-04T00:16:21+00:00

Just tell him to break up with her. He is an idiot for dating someone and expecting to change them. When you date someone you take them as they are in the beginning.

I’d be more interested in why he has started a relationship with someone who he is not compatible with long term. If he is not bothered by those things then stay with her. But since he is bothered, why did he agree to date her to begin with?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-12-04T03:01:41+00:00

"Don't try to change people, it usually doesn't work. If you don't like her, don't be with her."

p_fulga · 2024-12-03T22:12:40+00:00

Most of my friends are men. And I've done my best to generally steer them away from people I can recognise as covered in red flags or issues that'll only cause pain and problems. Generally, my advice for this would be try and have a talk. But don't get your hopes up. That's a lot of change and someone like that doesn't usually change at all, and if they do, its for some pretty dramatic reasons. It won't be because you asked. So don't hang on forever, if you don't like what you hear, be ready to move on.

Randomwoowoo · 2024-12-04T01:13:02+00:00

I’d question myself about why I’m friends with someone who uses terms like “high value women” unironically.

mashedturnip · 2024-12-03T21:50:55+00:00

“You’re thinking with your dick, not your brain”

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2024-12-03T21:59:34+00:00

If you think a woman is low value, don’t date her. If you don’t like the way a woman presents herself online, don’t date her. If you hate all her friends, don’t date her.

I mean, seriously, what do you even see in this woman whom you obviously hold in contempt?

Sillysheila · 2024-12-04T08:39:25+00:00

I don’t know if you can just get someone to change their ways like that.

It probably wouldn’t be the best relationship either. The woman would feel controlled and the man would feel stressed trying to control their behaviour. It just wouldn’t be a good situation.

What’s best is to break up if he can’t handle her being like that, then date with more strict standards and vet for someone who does not have these behaviours, if it bothers him.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-12-04T16:59:54+00:00

"If you are defining women as 'high and low value' and buying into the false idea that you can define dynamic, living humans with economic market terminology and it will actually map onto real world experience, you are consuming waaaaay too much manosphere content. Please go outside and experience life in person with real people and maybe get therapy or begin a centering practice like meditation or jujutsu. I am sad to hear this coming from you and I hope you get better soon."

Xeltar · 2024-12-04T17:08:49+00:00

You can't change people you're dating or rather it's really not worth the effort over just finding someone who is compatible.

missmireya · 2024-12-03T22:18:51+00:00

I would ask him if he's insane. Sorry, but if you're a ho, I doubt you're going to change much until you are too old to keep acting like that.

The slutty girls I used to know only stopped slutting around because they had a kid(s) or they now look like hell, aged, then decided to get married.

The only former honest slut I know of is a coworker (my age) admitted that if she didn't have kids, she would still be sleeping around.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-12-03T20:54:12+00:00

id tell him to start beating her

farnort · 2024-12-03T21:53:46+00:00

“Fuck are you doing bro?”

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CherryPieAlibi · 2024-12-05T02:06:44+00:00

I’ve found that any many of woman who judges people by stating their “value” is usually of low moral character themselves. So just don’t date people you aren’t compatible with

_weedkiller_ · 2024-12-05T16:34:48+00:00

lol.
My advice would be the same advice I would give a woman who thinks she can “change” a man - they won’t change. They might pretend to change for a bit to keep you happy, but trying to make them change is both fruitless and controlling.

Normal_Ad2456 · 2024-12-06T15:43:36+00:00

Don’t try to change the person you’re dating. Even changing yourself can be a struggle, it is simply impossible to control other people’s actions.

Title	q4w: what advice do you have for your male loved ones who believes he can convert a low value woman into a high value woman?
Author	HighValueWomanBook
Upvotes	0
Comments	64
Date	December 3, 2024 8:45 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1h5xo3j/q4w_what_advice_do_you_have_for_your_male_loved/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-advice-do-you-have-for-your-male-loved.1537436 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537436

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