Do women actually go to bars and clubs alone?

2025-03-26T10:04:02+00:00

Bars, yes, but European cafe/bars or live music places. Clubs, no.

SoftWaterHol4 · 2025-03-26T10:28:34+00:00

A rather interesting choice of words. You're asking a question to women in general, but then you specify you've never seen an *attractive* woman alone at a bar without her female friends. Does that mean you have indeed seen unattractive women alone at a bar but simply chose to ignore them because you're not into them?

Either way, the answer to your question is yes.

As for a woman's motivations for going to a bar/pub/club alone, that I cannot say because women are individuals. Not everyone is there to look for men, that's for sure.

Training_Hold_1354 · 2025-03-26T09:31:01+00:00

I haven’t and I wouldn’t ever go to either by myself. Men still approach even when you’re with friends.

CreepyVictorianDolls · 2025-03-26T11:44:31+00:00

I only go to bars with friends to have drinks and have fun. I have never been approached. I don't know if it's a cultural thing or if I'm unapproachable, but I would 100% reject anyone who tried. I'm not there for that.

Tbh, I don't understand how bars are so much better than dating apps. In fact, I think they're worse. You still pick based on appearance, without knowing anything about the person. On dating apps at least you can filter based on interests.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-03-26T13:23:27+00:00

https://open.substack.com/pub/becomingnoble/p/why-you-cant-meet-women-at-bars-any

This is an interesting article exploring the history of mariage/dating a bit. The author is saying that the "go to the bar and cold approach" was a blip that was enabled and preassured by the sexual revolution. So basically it was a short lived fad.

In the past you already had a degree of familiarity and reference to a person through your social circles. This gives a sense of security and safety that a random stranger can't provide. You are more willing to interact with a person who is familiar.

And now we have returned to the avoiding random strangers and wanting the person to have a degree of familiarity or someone you trust saying that the person is trustworthy.

I personally would automatically reject a cold approach on the simple reason of "i don't know you/who da heck are you?". I need some familiarity. Even just seeing each other multiple times can create a feeling of familiarity.

zyzyverssaint · 2025-03-26T14:05:47+00:00

Do women actually go to bars and clubs alone?

Yes. I do.

But in real life, I’ve literally never seen an attractive girl at a bar who wasn’t surrounded by a group of her girlfriends.

Well if you’re only considering attractive women then you’re overlooking the unattractive ones that may be there by themselves.

Do women actually go to bars alone, and if so, are they going alone in the hopes that a man will see them and approach them?

No. Sometimes I just want to be out and about and my friends are busy/don’t wanna join. I’m not going to not do something because no one else wants to go with.

If I want to be hit on, all I need to do is download a dating app.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-03-26T09:45:28+00:00

I never liked bars. I met my husband on public transportation. I met other guys through my synagogue or through work or school

attendquoi · 2025-03-26T14:19:31+00:00

I've only ever gone to a bar alone when I was traveling for work and decided to hit up the hotel bar for happy hour. Fortunately, I was left alone.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-03-26T12:08:53+00:00

I'm a lightweight, so I'd either not be able to drink, or have to pay like 40$ for the ride. Seems like such a hassle. If I wanted to drink alone, I'd drink at home.

MyLastBestChance · 2025-03-26T16:20:23+00:00

Only if I’m stopping in to get something to eat. I’ll sit at the bar instead of monopolizing a whole table.

I generally bring a book and that dissuades all but the most clueless of people from approaching. Unfortunately there are a fair number of clueless folks out there.

Pro-tip: Women reading books in bars and restaurants are not interested in being chatted up. Really. Ever.

2025-03-26T09:27:54+00:00

I've been to the pub alone with a novel or a crossword (before and after marriage) but I did not want to be approached in either scenario

EulenWatcher · 2025-03-26T10:30:42+00:00

You don’t have to look for a woman in her own to approach her. Not sure about the US, but in Russia you can mingle with a group of people. I.e. you go with your friends and you find another group of people open to mingle.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2025-03-26T12:16:53+00:00

No. It’s not safe to. Bars and cold approaching is what men prefer not women. For men it’s low risk to their reputation (they aren’t socially penalized for bad behavior) with potentially high reward (easy cheap sex). For women being drunk or around drunk people with low lighting and loud music is a recipe to get drugged, kidnapped and raped especially if they’re alone.

What women prefer is warm approaches like having a friend or a friend of a friend ask them out at a group meet up or preferably friends and family helping to set them up on actual dates. Women want to be wined and dined by a man that has been vetted by friends and/or family to be kind and not a player (plus having the guys reputation linked to his behavior on the date usually keeps men acting like gentlemen). Being approached by a drunk man who wants to go to your place (or back to his) right away to fuck after meeting you is a major ick for any decent woman.

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p_fulga · 2025-03-26T12:53:02+00:00

I wouldn't. But I also just don't like people or places tightly packed with people, especially in settings where I've dealt with a lot of creepy and uncomfortable situations. I know people who would do that, but it's not for me. I'd be too on edge the entire time.

I'd go to one with a group though. So long as we're only there at most for a couple hours.

Slow-Narwhal486 · 2025-03-26T18:09:33+00:00

I can count on one hand the number of times I've gone to a bar or club alone. And, I've only done it when I really felt like going out and none of my friends were available. If it's a club, it's always somewhere I've been to several times before.

I usually end up finding a group of women to hang out with if I go by myself- just because I don't feel safe if I'm completely on my own. I don't go out so I can get approached...I go out because I like drinking, dancing and spending time with friends. I get kind of irritated when men try to talk to me for longer than 5 minutes at bars or clubs because it takes away from time I could be dancing or spending time with friends.

If I was a man, I'd go out by myself more. As a woman, when I'm even simply going up to the bar to buy a drink by myself, men will typically approach me. And in my experience, drunk men have a bad habit of trying to touch me and/or not accepting 'no' when I don't want to give them my number or insta.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-03-26T21:48:55+00:00

I would go for live music nights when I didn’t have friends to go with. And I did meet my husband on one of those occasions. Now, did I go when there wasn’t live music, or see a lot of other women there by themselves? No, but you can still strike up conversations with women who are with friends. Some aren’t going to want to be approached, but that’s not always the case, and some women who are alone don’t want to be approached either. Either way there’s no harm no foul as long as you’re willing to take no for an answer.

PhasmaUrbomach · 2025-03-26T21:49:35+00:00

When I used to go out, I never ever went alone. I usually met at least one other person.

A woman doesn't have to be alone in the bar for you to connect.

Tylikcat · 2025-03-27T00:46:06+00:00

There's a local place I go to fairly frequently - though not often in the later evenings, because it's crowded and loud then - because it has good food. And another I'll go to because it's a good place to chat with neighbors. Neither are a pick up scene, and I didn't go to bars much at all when I was younger.

I suppose if a place were quiet enough, it could work as a place to meet people? But it's never been my scene, nor especially effective for meeting the sort of people I like. Mind, I've had a few guys twenty years my junior try to pick me up at the first, and it probably isn't a terrible place for some people.

ETA: I will encourage people to go out and spend time with people in person. Most bars don't seem like much of a way of getting to know someone?

2025-03-27T01:25:08+00:00

Sounds like my worst nightmare. But I never went clubbing or bar hopping to begin with, not even in my 20s.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2025-03-30T13:00:23+00:00

That sounds like an intensely bad idea

Title	Do women actually go to bars and clubs alone?
Author	always_pizza_time
Upvotes	22
Comments	54
Date	March 26, 2025 9:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jk7oti/do_women_actually_go_to_bars_and_clubs_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-actually-go-to-bars-and-clubs-alone.1547671 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547671

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