Women love the idea of Power Imbalances but hate the reality.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2025-08-02T20:37:00+00:00

You've got it backwards. They hate the idea, but love the reality - which is why you see women date the men that they date.

The very problem arises when women think they can respect a man that is equally or less "powerful," to where women are brainwashed into entertaining relationships that will never work out in a long-term sense to where women biologically crave "powerful" men.

Ask yourself this: of those "happy wife, happy life" guys that you know, how many are totally miserable?

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-08-02T20:12:21+00:00

I think it's rather a problem of side effects. Each attributes have their own side effect that someone people forget to consider

I know some men wanting a highly attractive woman as their partner but don't like when she attract attention from other men. Women like men with power but don't like the power inbalance in the couple. That can apply to each think you're looking for in a partner

SeemedGood · 2025-08-02T23:36:13+00:00

No, they absolutely love the reality when it is individually beneficial to them but criticize it and socially shame it when it is not.

Training-Cook3507 · 2025-08-02T20:33:44+00:00

What's happening is that culture has instructed us not to make sacrifices. To not compromise and go for everything you want. And with dating apps and social media, the number of men the average woman both has access to and is aware of has increased, while also getting bombarded with the idea of what should be on social media - i.e. a take charge guy who is strong and a provider. The problem with those traits is that that man will actually want to take charge, which means the woman will have to compromise, but she doesn't really want to do that and the current culture pushes them not to do that.

EulenWatcher · 2025-08-02T20:23:57+00:00

I think statistically people date and marry close to their socioeconomic level. It's the question of proximity and one's priorities.

If a woman wants to prioritize money, she'll have to compromise on things like age, appearance, in extreme cases his personality and the way he treats her too. It's not a secret that couples where a man is much richer and a woman is much prettier often aren't built on love or genuine affection.

A lot of us do not go this route though. I know that I'll get "you just can't and if you had the opportunity!", but for a lot of women overall compatibility and genuine affection are more important than roleplaying a modern Cinderella.

Stories are just fantasies, and a lot of romance tropes look good only in fiction when you have no personal experience with it. On a side note, I've been reading some webtoons, and the common trope now is that the female lead comes from money herself. People just want to read a story where main characters do not struggle with basic surviving imv.

Icyfemboy · 2025-08-02T19:47:41+00:00

I don’t think they necessarily want a man in a significantly higher position than themselves, it’s probably more that they want a man in a higher position than the men around them so it isn’t a power imbalance they’re looking after. Status is what they’re looking for to have power amongst their social circle and to validate their own self worth. (i.e I pulled a high value man = I’m high value myself)

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2025-08-03T08:03:09+00:00

Look, fantasy fiction is not reality. Men read comic books about saving the world and being Superman or spacefaring cowboys while flying hyperspeed spacecrafts. The percentage of men who actually want to in fact, live in a tiny cramped space station while being shot at, or be burdened with saving the world every fortnight is low and more to point, moot - because these things don’t happen : men love the idea of power but hate the reality of it.

Obviously, we understand the reality of hypergamy, otherwise tradwives wouldn’t be some fringe movement and women would all be doing cartwheels to be the pageant-winning beauties that will win us rich and powerful men. We understand, and that is why in every country where we can, women run, not walk, to enroll themselves in college and get jobs and delay marriage and childbirth: we understand exactly what being tethered financially to a ‘provider man’ is like.

Do you think we now choose to marry at 30 because we think we’re hotter at that age and more able to snag a CEO with our buxom PHDs? No. It’s when we are at most equal footing with men.

Tylikcat · 2025-08-02T19:48:54+00:00

"Women actually prefer men who have significantly more power then they do."

No. There's a cultural model in which women date more powerful men. (In part because men are so precious about their vision of masculinity, that a lot of men are freaked out about having more powerful wives.)

Individual women? Are steeped in that, just like men are. Both women and men drive this process when it occurs. And yet many resist. (In my experience, more women exist than men do.) WAAM.

2025-08-02T20:35:16+00:00

If we’re talking about workplace relationships, then this is always disgusting and a big no imo. Nasty all around and very much don’t respect people who get into these things even though they say “ThEyRE 2 CoNSeNTiNG aDuLtz” but don’t think about the precedent that sets that you can fuck your way to the top vs working hard and the fact that the more powerful person can dictate whether you can afford the roof over your head, health insurance for your serious health conditions, or the ability to feed your family based on how wide you can spread your legs. The more powerful person is always the problem here since they have little to no consequences for rejecting sexual advances here. Not out here trying to get Monica Lewinsky’d.

If we’re talking about non work related power imbalance relationships then yeah I agree some women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to have all the nice things that come with a higher status individual like more financial stability and status but don’t want the bad things like higher risk of financial abuse, cheating, etc. I also disagree with most of my fellow women who say that the rich old guy dating the younger model is taking advantage of her. Maybe could’ve been the case back in the day but these days if you’re a woman, your tiktok and YouTube algorithm will feed you a million videos from older women about why these types of relationships most likely won’t end well for you but if you still choose to pursue them then that’s on you (as long as the man is not threatening you from leaving or physically abusing you that is).

Lastly, maybe don’t conflate books and movies to real life. Most people date others in the same socioeconomic and looks bracket. How about all the stupid Seth Rogan and Adam Sandler movies where the goofy low status man gets the super hot chick?

meangingersnap · 2025-08-02T19:54:37+00:00

Every heterosexual relationship has a power imbalance anyways

bjwindow2thesoul · 2025-08-02T23:01:55+00:00

We usually "hate" power unbalances after having experienced relationships where the power imbalance hurt either us or the relationship (or both).

Interesting point on how society grooms us into romanticising power imbalances. I wonder if its inherently biological or if society plays a larger role. And it would be interesting to see if changes in media (f.e. disney princesses saving themselves instead of by a prince) will lead to less harmful relationships for gen z and gen alpha

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wtknight · 2025-08-02T20:07:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-08-03T11:09:31+00:00

A nurse dating a doctor isn’t the same as a professor dating his 19 year old student. One’s a status gap, the other involves actual power and the potential for coercion.

You’re mixing up height, ambition, and authority like they’re all the same kind of power. Wanting a taller guy doesn’t mean she wants to be dominated. Liking someone successful doesn’t mean she wants to be beneath him. There’s a big difference between dating someone impressive and dating someone who uses their position to control you.

Most women aren’t bothered by someone being older or more established. They’re bothered when it turns into manipulation or control.

And the Disney take is overdone. Women don’t think those stories are real. They just like the idea of someone powerful choosing to protect, not exploit.

Also, men chase imbalances too, usually by dating younger, less experienced women. It goes both ways.

Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2025-08-05T05:47:36+00:00

Idk something about "a guy who's better than me will be able to pull me up since i'm too much of a whimp to do it myself"

ZookeepergameNo631 · 2025-08-06T19:56:47+00:00

The world is figuring out that women are completely full of crap when it comes to this conversation. They make no sense. That's why the world is tuning them out. Especially mothers of young boys.

Sophiatab · 2025-08-02T21:15:05+00:00

It's absolutely hysterical to listen to men describe what they think women want. It's like listening to a blind person describe what they think something looks like. Women don't like power imbalances. We've just have had to tolerate them. Men have always had the luxury of thinking about pleasure in relationships. Women think survival.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-08-03T13:43:39+00:00

Well statistically, people tend to marry within their own socioeconomic levels. So I have to question how many women are actually “marrying up” in terms of money and power.

Now, do I think this tendency exists? Yes, for sure. It is a holdover from the past when women could not hold positions of power or have high-earning jobs, so a woman’s future depended entirely on her husband’s socioeconomic status. And women are far from the only ones perpetuating that, it goes both ways. Men tend to want 50/50 but also… can be competitive. For some, their wife making significantly more than them can be a blow to their ego and they’ll start trying to sabotage her instead of just being happy there’s more money.

ThatBitchA · 2025-08-02T20:00:04+00:00

What power does a doctor have over a nurse? What power does a principal have over a school teacher?

What's the reality of power imbalances in the examples of doctor/nurse and teacher/principal?

Remarkable-Strain157 · 2025-08-02T20:01:07+00:00

Replace the word women and put humans.

Title	Women love the idea of Power Imbalances but hate the reality.
Author	CuckCake321
Upvotes	57
Comments	121
Date	August 2, 2025 7:37 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1mfz8vo/women_love_the_idea_of_power_imbalances_but_hate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-love-the-idea-of-power-imbalances-but-hate.1558733 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558733

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