Looks are not the most important aspect of women, confidence is

WebNew9978 · 2025-12-11T21:23:29+00:00

Looks has and always will matter the most with dating. That’s not to say personality and confidence doesn’t matter, it does. But looks always will be more important than confidence and personality. No man or woman is going to say yes to a confident but ugliest person they’ve ever met asking them out.

MrTTripz · 2025-12-11T20:59:51+00:00

“Men don’t go for looks anymore” might be the funniest thing I’ve read all week.

According-Tea-3014 · 2025-12-11T21:07:26+00:00

Confidence doesn't matter without physical attraction, lmao

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-12-11T21:57:55+00:00

In today's world where men are getting more passive and need encouragement to approach, a confident woman will have it way easier to find dates than a good looking passive woman.

This premise is flaweed in two fronts. First women as agroup do not approach average men; second easier do not matter when the default is easy.

Men don't go for looks anymore, they go for who seems receptive and flirtatious.

As a group the kind of men that struggle won't be receiving the receptive and flitartious attitude.

And the traditionally encouraged traits in women that men generally claim to like (being shy and modest) are the common traits of most women who are struggling in the dating world (women who are denied the existence).

Women do not struggle, they can hop in dating apps and get a date any time they want.

Confidence is as important in women as it is in men

Confidence is a meme, it don't matter and most of the time what people see as "confidence" is just projection due to attraction.

Shy women nowadays as struggling as much as shy men.

No woman struggle dating wise outside 40~50yo+, let alone struggle more than men. A woman with the face of a pig struggle less than men.

eluusive · 2025-12-11T20:58:45+00:00

Not playin games, and actually be willing to get to know a man, are the most important traits imo.

Most women will not leave their home unless they perceive there being some massive prize in it for them.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-11T21:22:09+00:00

Men don't go for looks anymore, they go for who seems receptive and flirtatious.

The only reason men don't go for women with "looks" is because they have to calculate the risk of rejection or worse, but part of that calculation is whether the woman looks good enough to take on the risk.

Yes, the more passive a man is, the more the woman will have to show that she is interested, but the better looking a woman is, the less passive the man will be.

Suggesting that confidence is more important than looks is like suggesting that prostitutes will garner more interest from men than selective women. Yes, the ones who put up the least barriers to sex will garner more interest, but that doesn't mean they'll get it from the kind of men they want, or that men in general prefer prostitutes.

Luminous_Face_42 · 2025-12-11T22:11:27+00:00

this cannot be true because a good looking woman would have no problem at all finding men via apps and social media no matter how shy she is. i dont think anybody seriously disputes this anymore.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-12-11T21:06:07+00:00

Shy women nowadays as struggling as much as shy men

WTF. Lol no, it’s not even close to the same level of handicap for a woman to be shy

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-12-12T01:14:51+00:00

How is this allowed? Reported Looks are not allowed to be discussed

Just-Path-5838 · 2025-12-11T21:56:33+00:00

A dead woman could have an easy time finding dates. This really doesn't work as I see it The only way a woman could struggle to find a date is if she was hideous, so the opposite of what you're saying. Any woman below average and up will have no difficulty if they just want to go on dates. Their problem is more likely to be that they don't want to go on dates with whoever is available to them.

If you're a passive man, I hope you don't think if the average woman would approach you if only they were more confident, because in all likelihood they just don't want you anyway.

I don't think women are actually all that shy about indicating interest (at least not more shy than men are on average). They're just largely disinterested.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-12-11T22:22:42+00:00

Naw its not needed at all, they will have it easier whether they are confident or not, since the man is the one that has to generally make all the moves. Which is something that needs confidence to do.

Waiting around for offers doesn’t require confidence. Men typically won’t disqualify a woman, for not having it like women will to men. BTW men defiantly do still go for the looks.

They can just like those that are receptive and flirtatious a little more, if they are attractive enough to him. Since they can be more likely to get men's attention.

Pathosgrim · 2025-12-12T01:30:19+00:00

You're not struggling at all. You're just totally unaware of your privilege 🤡

learn2earn89 · 2025-12-11T21:12:11+00:00

**Confident, good looking women.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-12-11T21:23:00+00:00

The point is that genuine self-confidence and self-esteem are built on past experience and positive/negative reinforcement.

It's the same here: to be confident, you need to have initial success, and to do that, you need to be attractive in one way or another from the start.

zgtlunatic · 2025-12-11T23:02:12+00:00

Where do you think Confidence comes from though? It doesn't just come out the sky

Cuz to give some examples:

^ Scroll down to see my posts within these threads. There's more flaws these people have, but I choose not to get to them since they don't seem to really have any attractive features.

DaveBrowns611 · 2025-12-13T07:49:03+00:00

I believe men definitely care about looks a lot. They just might not be able to get a woman that has them. Even still they are most men's top priority. They just aren't the only thing that will matter, for someone they are serious about.

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mus_b_nuthn · 2025-12-11T21:06:03+00:00

Status>money>looks

mashedturnip · 2025-12-11T21:25:31+00:00

Mhm, sure. You ever do OLD?

jorts-enthusiast · 2025-12-11T23:21:47+00:00

Idk I feel like this is so case-by-case and not really applicable to many people. In my experience, being confident has normally coincided with rejection except in one case. Like with most people I dated where I was flirty and initiated contact/dates the most, I was almost always rejected.

Green_Quiet1717 · 2025-12-11T23:38:56+00:00

Just curious, are you a man or a woman?

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-12-12T03:13:48+00:00

I think it’s more about right time, right place. AKA luck and coincidence factor in just as much. Of course, a confident woman is more likely to be out and about and noticeable. But a beautiful yet shy woman can find men online, even on reddit. No need to share your face right off the bat either. You can chat with someone for a while and then once you’re comfortable, you can do all that. Way better than a dating app, but it can be as challenging.

Anyway, it feels like every single woman on Reddit is in a relationship except me, lol. Even the women on the avoidant and anxiety subs are partnered. I can be avoidant but I don’t think I suffer from extreme anxiety the way some of these women do. I don’t know what went wrong for me, I have to assume it’s my looks.

Ragazzocolbass8 · 2025-12-11T21:02:21+00:00

Looks and youth are quite literally the only thing a woman has to offer.

Just4LittleAngelDust · 2025-12-11T21:07:31+00:00

a confident woman will have it way easier to find dates than a good looking passive woman

Just my anecdote but I actually prefer a good looking passive woman, it screams femininity.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-12-11T22:05:32+00:00

Confidence is key for both men and women, but I’d still say looks are a bit more important for women, and most important in men with looks second.

I say this because a good looking woman with zero confidence can still get into a relationship. She just won’t have as many options as she otherwise would, and might get a dud who doesn’t treat her very well because this is what she thinks she deserves, and some men are opportunistic this way. An average woman with confidence can also get into a relationship, and it’s likely to be better. However, an ugly woman will struggle regardless and may only be able to get pumped and dumped by guys who don’t want to be seen with her, if anything.

Conversely, a good looking man with zero confidence may not be able to get a date at all, while an average man with confidence can. Confident average men seem to consistently end up with better looking women, while less confident average men seem to end up with women less attractive than themselves. An ugly guy will struggle regardless but probably have better luck being loved for who he is than the ugly woman if he’s confident, and especially if he’s also funny.

So, very important for both, especially if you’re in the average range. But overall, a shy attractive woman is better off than a shy attractive man IF she has enough self-esteem to vet. Otherwise, she’ll get… somebody, but might be better off single.

DenverKim · 2025-12-11T22:24:18+00:00

This is nonsense. Most men only care about looks first… If she passes a certain bar, then they might care about her personality (but not very much). There are exceptions, but they are few.

You are also overlooking the fact that the majority of women who ARE confident in themselves are NOT interested in men who are not confident enough to approach them.

They know that if they are too forward with men they will be judged and they often don’t approach not because they are not confident enough, but because of the way they have been treated in the past when they did and because it turns them off when a man isn’t capable of doing it himself… confident, women, whether they be right or wrong, truly do assume “if he wanted to, he would”. So if he’s not approaching, then she’s usually not gonna be interested in him in the first place because she thinks it means he’s either not interested in her or he’s just not confident enough to do anything about it.

I will give you that this may not apply to younger women who are new to dating… Super confident girls/women who are 16 to 22 years old… But past a certain age, once they have a little bit of experience, their interest in approaching random men typically dies down significantly.

Your monologue is a fantasy. Unless what you actually meant to say was that when a woman aggressively pursues a man, he will often not be concerned with how she looks because he just views her as an easy lay. He will absolutely play along and have sex with her, but he will not actually date this woman. He will either use her for a one night stand or treat her as a secret fuck buddy that he texts at 3 AM to ask “you up“? Another reason why most truly confident women do not approach men.

Title	Looks are not the most important aspect of women, confidence is
Author	Zestyclose_Age_2505
Upvotes	0
Comments	128
Date	December 11, 2025 8:56 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pk8qtf/looks_are_not_the_most_important_aspect_of_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/looks-are-not-the-most-important-aspect-of-women.1568619 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568619

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