Dating is like real estate

society000 · 2026-02-01T07:50:53+00:00

This is just how most men date lol

wtknight · 2026-02-01T01:02:49+00:00

Most men and women focus too much on what desirable traits they want, and don't focus enough on the undesirable traits they're willing to deal with.

I actually think that a lot more men do this than women. It's usually women who carry the "never settle" mentality to such an extreme that they don't want to date a man who is anything but close to perfect in their eyes.

For instance, every man who dates a poor woman from a developing country knows that a big disadvantage that she is going to have is that she is poor and that he will likely have to spend a lot of money on her. However, the men who do this believe in their heads that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Another man might date a woman who doesn't look as good as he might like, but has a high libido and is great in bed.

I don't technically think that this is "settling". It's more like being realistic in one's goals. Most of us would love to own a mansion and a sports car and go on expensive vacations all the time, but we just can't do that and instead we are happy if we have a nice house and a reliable vehicle and take the occasional nice vacation and realize that we are lucky we have these things and can do these things. It's not "settling" for a lesser life, but enjoying the life that we are fully capable of having if we work reasonably hard at it.

corey____trevor · 2026-02-01T00:40:39+00:00

Assuming you have the number of options that allow for this level of granularity in dating - then sure, this is good advice.

But in my experience the people who have this many options aren’t really struggling anyways and they do this sort of supply/demand analysis implicitly.

LemonPoppyPancake · 2026-02-01T01:27:59+00:00

Do a lot of people treat dating like it’s some kind of dating sim, where you’re managing traits and perks and point totals with your partner? I don’t think I’ve ever approached it that way. I’ve always just dated people I liked and could see a future with.

FearInoculumTool · 2026-02-01T03:39:18+00:00

I don’t think so. What made the difference for me was to sit down and figure out who and what I am, what I liked and disliked, what kind of relationship I wanted and what kind of woman I wanted, what her qualities should be and how she’d treat me. Basically I focused on knowing what I wanted and committed to only going after that and never settling for someone outside of that.

I had spectacular success with women.

Brief_Mongoose_7291 · 2026-02-01T01:30:41+00:00

I find it hilarious how women aren't even able to comprehend the point of your post :)

wtknight · 2026-02-01T01:02:55+00:00

Most men and women focus too much on what desirable traits they want, and don't focus enough on the undesirable traits they're willing to deal with.

I actually think that a lot more men do this than women. It's usually women who carry the "never settle" mentality to such an extreme that they don't want to date a man who is anything but close to perfect in their eyes.

For instance, every man who dates a poor woman from a developing country knows that a big disadvantage that she is going to have is that she is poor and that he will likely have to spend a lot of money on her. However, the men who do this believe in their heads that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Another man might date a woman who doesn't look as good as he might like, but has a high libido and is great in bed.

I don't technically think that this is "settling". It's more like being realistic in one's goals. Most of us would love to own a mansion and a sports car and go on expensive vacations all the time, but we just can't do that and instead we are happy if we have a nice house and a reliable vehicle and take the occasional nice vacation and realize that we are lucky we have these things and can do these things. It's not "settling" for a lesser life, but instead enjoying the life that we are fully capable of having if we work reasonably hard at it.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-02-01T13:35:39+00:00

Dating is like real estate only in that “you can’t ever buy a house that’s not for sale”

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-02-01T01:02:23+00:00

Not really. I can fix a feature in a house I don’t like but fixing a person is a huge can of worms. Also some people can’t deal with certain traits in people just like some people can’t tune out the noise when living above a bar. At some point you need to be grateful for what you have and not jump from the frying pan into the fire. Things can easily be worse than what you currently have so look before you leap.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2026-02-01T00:24:31+00:00

Most men and women

Most men lack options to have something to focus on something, your issue is gendered female in nature.

thinkB4WeSpeak · 2026-02-01T04:49:39+00:00

Do you mean like "red flags" it is better to find a partner that doesn't have the red flags you can't tolerate vs things you like in them while ignoring the red flags.

These-Purpose-7019 · 2026-02-02T11:01:16+00:00

Eh men who arent women's top picks and women after a certain age absolutely think about the negatives otherwise settling wouldnt be a thing. Too many people in relationships with those they wouldnt otherwise talk to if they had options for this to be true.

Unique-Afternoon6316 · 2026-02-03T19:59:34+00:00

Is this not how everyone dates? There are plenty of things I find desirable that other people don't, things that I am neutral about that other people are positive about, and so on. I'm not attracted to blue eyed blondes at all- why would I go out of my way to try to attract a blonde bombshell when I'm not that interested. I'm into girls with septum piercings and tattoos, which a large amount of men aren't. So I'm incentivized to go into that direction. It's ont that I want to limit my dating prospects but knowing your audience will most likely give you more success than going scattershot.

ThatBitchA · 2026-02-01T00:27:22+00:00

That's certainly an interesting approach.

I didn't want to date anyone with undesirable traits.

I didn't consider someone making less than me or playing video games as undesirable traits though.

For me, undesirable traits are like rude to customer service, doesn't pay attention to details, emotionally closed off, etc.

DGenerationMC · 2026-02-01T02:32:00+00:00

It's free real estate?

pie-mart · 2026-02-01T00:47:06+00:00

People focus on the relationship that is ideal for them and try to fit random people into that role

Rather than seeing it as something you build with someone

Its like playing that square/triangle/circle block game. Trying to fit random shapes into the wrong holes. And just cuz it can get in, doesn't mean it was right

Vs treating love and relationships like a garden or a hearth. Something that has to constantly be maintained and worked on

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leefjk · 2026-02-01T03:08:23+00:00

It's easier said than done to do this, because sometimes what you're willing to sacrifice is still not enough.

BigMadLad · 2026-02-01T08:02:53+00:00

The problem with this logic is that it boils down relationships to some sort of hierarchy of traits. What happened to actually just loving somebody, even that somebody is negative for your life? This basically just feels like an incredibly selfish view of relationships to where you’re trying to maximize a relationship contribution to your life and not actually trying to get to know a person or to love a person as a whole entity

The_WankingBuddha · 2026-02-01T14:14:23+00:00

Dating is like real estate

Women be turning into Genghis Khan now.

mashedturnip · 2026-02-01T18:49:22+00:00

Except when you’re just looking to flip it

Then any apartment will do, for the cheapest price available

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-02-01T23:42:20+00:00

real estate

My father taught me early if I can’t afford the house I want the issue is not one of real estate, but income. The same concept applies to dating; it’s fine to look for ‘the best deal’ and secure the apartment above the bar. It’s better to have the ability to buy the apartment and the brownstone two blocks over. It is that simple.

Critical_Ring_1020 · 2026-02-03T15:03:07+00:00

people like what's like them. it's not that deep. if you like books you won't like someone who has no interest in books. again, not that deep.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-02-01T00:48:57+00:00

I possibly learned a bit too much from my father. I likely have an initial dating style similar to an abuser by accident.

I just sleep with someone (triggering a honeymoon phase), spend some time developing a connection with them, etc., and then they’ll pretty much just go along with everything I say, I think. It significantly reduces the need to have “compatibility”, compared to talking to a stranger who would reject someone for a small conflict.

I’m not really aware of how far that concept goes. E.g. Is my partner actually permanently childfree, or did she only agree to that because she likes me? I can’t tell, because people bend over backwards too much for people they want. I’m not violent or anything, but it’s hard for me to know to what extent I’m manipulative, and to what extent people actually have chosen something they genuinely want. I can still remember the look on her face when I initially met her and decided I wanted to sleep with her. I see that face in a lot of people, but I don’t know how far I can predict their actions with it.

AlarmingArm9919 · 2026-02-01T02:07:57+00:00

Another point for my theory that women are slowly becoming red pillers - if not in ideology, then in thinking.

"Men are just investments."

My argument here is less that you're wrong and more that humanity is fucked and if you look at other people this way, you're exhibiting one of your own undesirable traits that I wouldn't tolerate.

At least not forever, if I made the mistake of overlooking it first.

Title	Dating is like real estate
Author	Adaline_B
Upvotes	18
Comments	126
Date	February 1, 2026 12:20 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qsj2av/dating_is_like_real_estate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-is-like-real-estate.1572432 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572432

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