The battle of the sexes in dating is mostly an online thing.

Prudent_Heat23 · 2026-02-07T19:00:37+00:00

People avoid friction face-to-face. Views that might lead to confrontation go unsaid. It's unwise to assume people you know IRL don't hold the contemptuous views you see online, just because you don't hear them say that stuff out loud.

Blacktransjanny · 2026-02-07T19:59:44+00:00

Just like many people's political views, when they have the privacy of the voting booth it can be shockingly different than what is public facing. Several blue states are 25-40%+ Trump voting but walking around you'd think it was like 1% Trump voters.

mashedturnip · 2026-02-07T19:19:00+00:00

Just because irl has consequences doesn’t mean the agendas disappear

Kurdependence · 2026-02-07T19:35:33+00:00

I’ve met a lot of sexist people in real life, I was close to a woman who hated all men except for me and had to cut her off when I found out

Lemon_gecko · 2026-02-07T19:00:09+00:00

Eh, somewhat. I mean you're right isn't not that common to hear those battles offline, but the complains are the same, people still think the same, they just more careful with whom they share it and how. I personally heard men talk about dating similar to what i see here. When i talk with women i hear something similar to what i hear here. But they don't really want to go to a battle, so in general they will share things with someone who might understand them and they avoid conflicts. And then it brings a question, does it matter that there are no open conflicts in real life if people are thinking the same thoughts and it brings the same divide?

reddit_is_geh · 2026-02-07T20:10:25+00:00

I think people are far far more civil and socially aware of what they say IRL, because the context is vastly different. But much of this stuff talked about online, is softly discussed in a reframed way IRL... At least in my experience.

That said, the issue with many people online is they do use the extremes as a placeholder for the mean. For instance, so many people online just think women only want a Chad, WILL cheat, and are gold diggers. This is what they consider the "default woman", which is so fucking far from the truth.

Due_Appointment_1188 · 2026-02-07T20:14:23+00:00

Online discourse feels louder because it has zero friction. Real life feels calmer because saying half that stuff costs you your job, friends, or reputation. People are still thinking it, they just keep it in drafts.

So yeah, congrats, you proved the internet is where people talk freely and reality is where people self censor. That does not mean the tension vanished, it means it learned when to shut up.

Calling it childish banter also feels wild when the same ideas quietly shape how people date, vote, hire, and treat each other. The volume changed, the beliefs did not.

Even online the truth only gets spit out where anonymity exists. The moment your real name, face, or employer is attached, the tone magically becomes safe and polite.

So the pattern is consistent everywhere. Less consequences equals louder takes. More consequences equals self censorship. That applies offline and online. Calling that peace is like calling a muted mic agreement.

What you see online didn't disappear, and it doesn't only apply to "gender wars", but for all publicly unsafe opinions. It just switched platforms from Twitter to inside people's heads. Everything gets filtered based on how traceable you are.

MichaelsAltMan · 2026-02-07T20:21:09+00:00

Unfortunately dating has become a very online thing. We are an increasingly online species.

Tardigrade_Disco · 2026-02-08T00:25:17+00:00

If you could see the social media comments of the women you interact with on a daily basis, you'd realize you're wrong. They just stay quiet in person.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2026-02-07T23:29:36+00:00

people definitely mask more when not in anonymous spaces duh. However alot of the opinions do in fact carry over. Also from my experience women are much more likely to spread there misandry due to getting significantly less backlash then a misogynist men would get.

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2026-02-08T03:16:23+00:00

People have been talking shit among those of their same gender about the other gender for generations. Now we get to hear what the other side has been saying in great detail, everytime we open our phones, and no one wants to watch the sausage getting made.

GridReXX · 2026-02-08T18:46:52+00:00

Ehhh. I’m old enough to remember the world before social media. And also, I’m a student of history.

There’s nothing new about battle of the sexes. Not a damn thing.

Every underlying gripe, frustration, discontent, etc. has been there for… ever. The only defense about online discourse is many people are more explicit and blunt with it because there’s less fear of consequence. Or because they finally found other people who have always felt the same way but were too whatever to say it aloud IRL.

Currypill · 2026-02-07T20:52:30+00:00

It's definitely more extreme online. My ex girlfriend was a "progressive liberal" type, with an SJW hair cut, but she did not act like a "man-hater" like the posts you see on reddit, at least not in person when she was with me. On reddit, people will tell a woman that her husband is worthless because he sneezed too loudly once.

Bikerbats · 2026-02-07T18:50:46+00:00

I agree to a point, but only to a point. The problem is an ever-increasing number of people spend more time interacting with each other digitally than they do personally. It's becoming more and more difficult to separate online from the real world. I don't think it's wise to diminish the effect that massive amounts of bullshit online have on society as a whole.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-02-07T19:01:03+00:00

Well we have seen it in real life haven’t we?

I don’t live that far where we had the first mass shooting in 25 years from a guy that claimed he wanted to punish women for not dating him. I could count this as just a one off weirdo but then I seen posts online from men praising his actions. And not only that, turns out he’s one of many men around the world doing this as revenge against women for not dating them.

And this is when men have killed groups of people, it doesn’t include the incident in france of men trying to inject young women at a festival, or the protests to decriminalise rape, or the restrictions on womens health in America.

And no, the guy doesn’t get sent to HR or fired. The women gets told to stfu and stop causing unnecessary problems.

IgorXY · 2026-02-07T19:05:04+00:00

men who speak like the manosphere online get sent to HR, they then get a warning or worse fired

Hmmm, why would this be kept online only?

This is why I can never agree with blue pillers. There was a discussion lately about what does blue pill mean. For me it is a group that is content with how society is and they are againt any "heresy". Instead of listening, understanding and thinking how to solve the problems, no matter how uncomfortable they are, they prefer to silence everything they don't agree with. And then they use this forced silence as prove that they are right.

Aimeereddit123 · 2026-02-07T20:21:01+00:00

No. I talk to women every day about these things. It HAS become all real life issues, because porn and violent porn and pedo porn is now in everyone’s homes, and it has affected the actions and way men view and treat their real life partners. It has heightened misogyny across the board. You don’t have to go to Epstein Island. It is in your phone in your pocket.

DankuTwo · 2026-02-07T22:44:06+00:00

The gender war is real, you just don't hear about it from men because the social consequences are severe.

You hear about gender wars from woman A LOT....it is the dominant culture.

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Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2026-02-07T20:51:36+00:00

If men were allowed to say sexist stuff in real life, they would.

AlarmingArm9919 · 2026-02-08T00:31:09+00:00

yes and no

it's definitely more online than not

but it's also prevalent irl where people are not going to talk about it in polite company

Any-Use8599 · 2026-02-08T00:40:15+00:00

I suppose I’m one of few exceptions out there, because I talk EXACTLY the way I do online; which would explain why a lot of people don’t fuck with me. But fuck em because if you don’t have the temerity to air out your grievances in person you shouldn’t be doing it online like a coward.

kartu3 · 2026-02-08T15:31:40+00:00

"Battle" in the "dating" space is, well, not the true gender war.

The true gender war is one sided. Leveraging victimhood claims, most of which are either wrong or outrageously wrong, women have managed to influence legislations in the developed world in ways that benefit one specific gender.

Included, but not limited to outright GENDER ASYMMETRIC (so long for fighting for gender "ikwality") laws.

40% of DV victims in England and Wales are men. In the official statistics they are listed as victims of violence... "against women and girls".

Yes really.

There are lies, damn lies and then there is statistics. And then there is feminist "statistics". E.g. 1/3rd of the intimate partner MURDER victims in Canada are male. I'll leave it up to you to figure the tricks that certain group is using to claim "1/6th" figure.

Oh yeah, and the fallout from that war, e.g. moral panic about women being approached at work, hurts women too.

In fact, women were never as depressed and unhappy as today.

But that's the karma part, as they largely buy the "oppressed" BS and are shockingly totalitarian in their views. (in the recent studies, women were less tolerant towards own allies, than men were tolerant towards their opponents, let that sink in)

Pro-IDGAF · 2026-02-09T19:05:37+00:00

oh there's plenty of turbulence in the offline world of older people and dating and it's popcorn worthy. trust me, we're still freaks in our 50's.

YeaNobody · 2026-02-09T19:39:53+00:00

Not really.....it's just that people avoid being uncomfortable face to face....doesn't mean the ideas don't actually exist. That "online" is some fantasy land based off of nothing.

throwaway73737828 · 2026-02-07T20:58:46+00:00

Nah not really. You just will never see women initiating it. Most women really hate men. They just put a mask on society when they go out so no one sees it. You gotta make her put the mask aside to really see what is beneath it. And MOST of the time, you will see they hate men. The only thing is men have to initiate it, for them to drop their masks.

Also the hate really intensifies when they see a successful man. Women initiate a lot of fights with powerful men. You will experience this once you get women effortlessly and have a lot of money.

shitlittleparrot · 2026-02-07T22:46:24+00:00

You dont see it outside cause most healthy men with jobs and friends etc, dont follow the manosphere, and the ones that do, don't go outside

harmonica2 · 2026-02-08T01:40:38+00:00

As far as the idea of a battle of the sexes goes , the ones who seem to be the most successful in dating are the ones who ignore all that noise.

OkOutlandishness6370 · 2026-02-07T22:35:24+00:00

if they talk like they do online about men in real life most guys will just laugh it off and call it a rebellious phase.

Except that her opinion probably bleeds into her behavior and having a 'rebellious phase' when already married with 3 kids (like my bitch ex wife did) causes actual harm to actual people.

It's all fun and games until you're the one stuck with the alimony and the child support, homie. If you think the psychic pressure of all this bitching and moaning online doesn't seep into the minds of women (many of whom spend hour upon hour locked in on their smartphone) then I have a bridge to sell you.

The battle of the sexes in dating is mostly an online thing.

Comments

40% of DV victims in England and Wales are men. In the official statistics they are listed as victims of violence... "against women and girls".

When A. Tate spouts hateful BS about women, he gets called out for it. While those who similarly spit hateful vitriol about men, are the key "feminist academics"

Title	The battle of the sexes in dating is mostly an online thing.
Author	Ceazer4L
Upvotes	16
Comments	104
Date	February 7, 2026 6:45 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qyltx3/the_battle_of_the_sexes_in_dating_is_mostly_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-battle-of-the-sexes-in-dating-is-mostly-an.1572926 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572926