So it's like "ok you have empathy for me coming across as someone who is obviously suffering, but we don't agree why, so you don't really empathize with my issue".

I think for a man who talks specifically about feeling a lack of empathy, this is far more likely and common than just "sneakily wanting pity sex". And here already comes the disconnect. Becasue I'm a guy and I feel a lack of empathy from wider society and typically women, very specifically for the dating disadvantages of men. If you disagree with this, from my perspective, that's literally the lack of empathy itself. Becasue... that's my issue. Literally.

When I lament a lack of empathy, I lament a lack of empathy. And so then if "Oh, that sucks. But hey, I DO have empathy for you! And everyone else has too btw", then you are basically saying that you fundamentally doubt my lived experience and think I'm wrong.

And yea, okay, we just disagree then. But just to try to illustrate:

Picture a guy who believes women cannot orgasm, that female orgasms are a myth, and that women mostly have sex to extract resources. Now picture the one guy with this belief who is the most altruistic and genuinely woman-respecting person out of everyone on the planet who has this belief. He legitimately has empathy for all sorts of gendered sufferings of women, he respects them, thinks they should have rights, he just believes women work this way. Yea, still a mysoginist. Right?

So whatever you think, I think this is something worth noting, becasue this is different than "never being satisfied with any kind of empathy becasue they just want their dicks wet". I think ya'll are kind of trigger happy with that conclusion. A lot of the times guys not being "satisifed" with what you consider to be empathy is just becasue of unedrlying unadressed disagreements, simple as that. I would not assume that most guys who care talking about this topic don't feel a lack of empathy.