If you have to spend more than a lot on a date she’s not that into you

gtbreddit1 · 2026-03-28T19:18:02+00:00

If you have to spend anything she's not that into you.

morepwer · 2026-03-29T00:30:55+00:00

Instead of spending money on dates, you could be directly paying a woman to bend over and spread her cheeks.

pie-mart · 2026-03-28T23:43:53+00:00

While I agree to a certain point. This type of argument opens up the opportunity for certain women to say "well, if he isn't spending a certain amount/taking you on a certain date then he just isn't into you"

These aren't rules. To some men a $250 dinner date is pennies. And they don't give a fuck about the women they take them out to. While those women may really like that guy.

A broke dude may save up and do a $150 dinner date and it be really expensive for him and the woman sees this and enjoys this and likes the guy

The whole "if this ____ then they don't actually like you" is a ridiculous method of dating

Because people are so nuanced that a hard and fast rule is never ever sure.

If you spend $500 on a woman of your own accord, that has nothing to do with if she is actually attracted to you

Now, if she is asking for the $500 to be spent then yeah, she isn't attracted to you

Just like if I am on a first date with a guy and he asks for sex ASAP, I knkw he doesn't care about getting to know me as a person. Not that wanting sex with me on the first date means he doesn't wanna get to know me as a person. Ie if sex does happen, it doesn't change how he feels about seeing me as LTR material

Starcraft_III · 2026-03-29T04:17:53+00:00

I’m only interested in highly attractive women, I rarely receive reciprocal interest, one of my positives is that I make enough money to not care if I spend $150 on some dinner that didn’t go right, and that dinner is going to have good food and better atmosphere than a walk, and that might improve my chances, so I go with that. Or something cool that costs money in general

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-03-28T19:43:42+00:00

Have you guys forgotten what the point of dating is? It’s literally to figure out if you like each other.

She doesn’t know you yet. Why are you expecting her to show up already fully interested like you’ve been together a year? That’s what the date is for.

A simple coffee date or walk in the park is fine, but not because “if she liked you it wouldn’t matter.” It’s because you’re both still figuring out if you like each other.

No-Hunt-6123 · 2026-03-29T02:47:36+00:00

lol. Do whatever you want just stop getting mad at women out of your league for not choosing you

ladybird_00 · 2026-03-28T18:13:04+00:00

Spending a lot of money or not doesn’t determine how much someone’s into you.

You’re allowed to have your own standards and find women compatible with those standards.

WanabeInflatable · 2026-03-29T09:04:04+00:00

Just say in advance that you prefer to split the bill and let the trash take itself out

Prior-Impression-871 · 2026-03-28T18:32:21+00:00

That’s revered for someone you’re going steady with

Do you really believe it? That men put in more effort as a relationship progresses? No they don't, and especially not men who establish a strict 50/50 from the beginning

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-03-28T18:34:49+00:00

I never fed women I wasn’t fucking unless it was a meal I cooked at my own place or theirs, which led to the eventual act anyways.

First dates are an interview. Drinks, keep it light, always make it appear like you have a tight window beforehand that way you can cut early or stay longer depending on the vibes.

rejected-again · 2026-03-28T22:48:00+00:00

Women won't like this advice because if men listened to it, they'd get fewer free meals.

SeemedGood · 2026-03-28T18:43:40+00:00

I’ll take it one step further.

If you have to spend any money on her, she’s not that into you.

Maybe one more step…

If you had to ask her out on a date in the first place, she’s not that into you.

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Ok_Use7 · 2026-03-28T18:40:00+00:00

There's different types of guys. This approach works for men who seemingly have a lot to lose and are heavily impacted by rejection but its not universal.

Generally_Confused1 · 2026-03-28T18:40:19+00:00

Yeah that but also don't limit it to something just simple. What if there's a show you wanted to go to and it's not too expensive? Nice to have company. Or company for a night out at the arcade bar or going thrifting together, etc. Coffee, ice cream and whatever is good and I think along these lines where you shouldn't need to impress them by spending money but I also treat it like an adventure where I get to know someone new while doing something interesting at times too.

But yeah I rarely spend a lot on dates unless we're together and I'm intentionally trying to give more

reddit_is_geh · 2026-03-29T03:51:55+00:00

Some women genuinely just have a minimum standard of a guy being wealthy... More often than not they are the types who prefer not to work and have a luxury lifestyle. Trashy IMO, but also, doesn't mean they aren't into the guy. It's just her minimum standard and wants everything posh and expensive for her social media brags.

I_DOM_UR_PATRIARCHY · 2026-03-29T06:05:55+00:00

I also want to point out that spending a lot on a first date is a great way to make a girl feel uncomfortable.

The only girls who want you to spend on a first date are trying to milk you. The only thing you are advertising with that spend is your milkability.

PuzzleheadedWasabi77 · 2026-04-05T13:27:14+00:00

I find it so bizarre that people are really thinking so much about dating from a monetary perspective. If it's a first date, I pay for myself and my partner pays for their stuff. I ask about that in advance and don't date anyone who isn't down for that. I prefer to just focus on getting to know the person without any financial pressure on either side. If they can't afford to get food from a restaurant or fast food joint, I suggest an activity date where food isn't a part of the equation. Maybe I try out a hobby they have that I haven't done before. Maybe I show them one of mine. I agree that the first date should just be about getting to know the other person, although I don't believe it's a good idea to try to become compatible with someone you aren't inherently compatible with.

VenusNoire_ · 2026-03-28T18:59:41+00:00

This has more to do with temperament, dating style/strategies, and capacity than it does with whether someone is into another person and how much. A walk in the park is not acceptable to everyone regardless of if she actually likes you a lot. It is what it is. Different people have different standards. I don’t know why this has to be debated so much.

ThatBitchA · 2026-03-28T18:06:20+00:00

I don't believe in "simple first dates". But I've always warm connections.

So there's really no specific rules of what a first date should be. Because first dates vary.

Me having first date standards doesn't mean I'm not into someone. It means they didn't meet my standards and I'm not dropping standards to accommodate them.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-03-28T18:43:49+00:00

If you have to spend more than a lot on a date she’s not that into you

Not really.

I should really sit down and make a list of things I end up saying all the time. Here's one: there is a big gap between feelings and behavior and it's filled with a maze of psychological and social traps.

In this case, a given women who is indeed really into you may, nevertheless, be conditioned to expect certain treatment to indicate that you are really into her and share her values. Expensive dates are just one possible ritual to symbolically demonstrate that characteristic. A different woman may, due to having a completely different maze, come to the opposite conclusion.

A first date should be simple

I generally agree. However, it is just a personal preference. Dating a social construct. There's no law or logic to how it "should" be.

Not an opportunity to “try out a fancy restaurant in town”, “go to some show” etc.

Nah, I think dating is a great excuse to do whatever you want to do anyway. I think there's strategic value in avoiding "event" or "activity" dates, to focus on conversation. However, not every man thrives in conversation with people they've just met, and therefore may benefit from more spectacle.

I do agree that too many men and women put pressure and expectations on the first date. Beyond that, we can avoid these overgeneralizations.

Title	If you have to spend more than a lot on a date she’s not that into you
Author	DriverInitial8305
Upvotes	46
Comments	157
Date	March 28, 2026 5:55 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1s676ud/if_you_have_to_spend_more_than_a_lot_on_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-have-to-spend-more-than-a-lot-on-a-date.1576594 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576594

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