What actually makes a guy instantly attractive?

seduction-ModTeam · 2026-04-17T08:40:27+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

water_reducer · 2026-04-16T15:55:22+00:00

scent, although nobody here is ready for that conversation

especially an op posting ai content

Key-Proud · 2026-04-16T15:57:57+00:00

Being present in the moment. - an example are guys who has abundance and purpose are more present in the moment than most men.

The opposite are guys who focus on past or future. - they generate awkward moments. - hence the needy energy behaviors

The hotter (or high status) a person is the more they interact with people who puts them on a pedestal amplifying the awkward moments they experiences ... but magnifying the attraction towards a guy who is present in the moment

Matt-Choo · 2026-04-16T15:44:41+00:00

Commanding presence. When you enter a room of strangers and people just know that you’re there. It’s a mix of confidence, style, interest, posture, build, scent, who you know in the room and the attention you pique of those who don’t. Women want to know that person and be the one he pays attention to.

Lacunaethra · 2026-04-16T15:42:44+00:00

Confidence, wit, social (incl flirt) skills, good posture and many more.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T16:16:26+00:00

I'll tell you what doesn't make you attractive, but unattractive instead.

Being needy, spineless, risk-averse, apologetic, ashamed of your desire for sex, approval-seeking, desperate, a pushover, weak, easily triggered, wimp, having no strict boundaries, acting like a doormat, begging for love, chasing woman who give mixed signals, being complacent, being accommodating, being insecure, putting women on a pedestal, being tension-avoidant, doubting yourself, second guessing yourself, backpedaling when the outcome /reaction is not the one you hoped.

Being socially awkward, allowing external judgments to drive your behavior, talking with women in a logical way, or expecting linear logic from women, arguing with women, repressing your desire, trying to walk on egg-shells to make sure women don't ever get upset with you or to avoid making them uncomfortable, filtering yourself to avoid offending women, being predictable, forgettable, doing what society says you are are supposed to, instead of doing what you would actually.

Be the opposite of all these, and you will naturally be attractive without even trying.

flirtygirlyoulove · 2026-04-17T00:21:05+00:00

Subtle confidence. Not cocky, but you can just tell they have it

Fabulous-Birthday133 · 2026-04-16T19:49:51+00:00

For most of my life, I operated without real self love. Not because I was broken, but because I lacked boundaries and standards. Without those, there is no structure, and without structure, there is no real value. The shift happened when I stopped outsourcing my sense of control. The moment you release the belief that something outside of you dictates your worth, your behavior, or your direction, you step into a different level of awareness.

That is where real confidence is built. Not surface level confidence. Not ego. Supreme confidence. The kind that comes from alignment. From knowing exactly who you are, what you tolerate, and what you no longer negotiate with.

Once you reach that state, everything changes. You move with intention. You decide faster. You hesitate less. And more importantly, you realize the barriers that once slowed you down were never real in the first place. They were mental constructs. Self imposed limitations. It is like standing behind a force field, believing something is blocking you from moving forward, until you realize there was never anything there. No resistance. No obstruction. Just perception. And once you see that clearly, you stop playing defense with your life and you start executing.

pickupmid123 · 2026-04-16T16:00:42+00:00

Ambition, discipline, drive, and purpose. Most guys meander through life and “go with the flow”. The guys who are building something and working toward their goals stand out.

johnny-faux · 2026-04-16T18:48:56+00:00

other hot girls around. get friends who are girls, and other girls will shoot their shot at you. its so fuckin good and its not even close

Routine_Scheme2355 · 2026-04-16T21:21:42+00:00

Confidence, self awareness, emotional regulation. I love it when I see a guy can face emergency with calm. Problem solving skills

thatlittlebunny · 2026-04-17T03:08:13+00:00

Cleanliness, manners, confidence, manners

suntann85 · 2026-04-16T20:22:54+00:00

Kind and polite to staff and servers is an instant panty dropper for me

KlutzyAnanas · 2026-04-16T15:59:00+00:00

Someone hilarious

Yamochao · 2026-04-16T16:26:16+00:00

Confidence, and here's the thing, it's not instant and you can't fake it.

Confidence is different than posturing, and it's different than pride. Confidence comes from pushing yourself to do things that are hard for you and knowing that you're living a life along your own values. You can't fake that shit, and trying to will earn you contempt. We all know a guy who's clearly vapid and insecure and just following wrote info he found on websites like these in a desperate attempt for positive attention.

So get off of this subreddit, develop your relationship with yourself, try to do the things you think you can't.

The answers you seek, you won't find here.

Capable_Macaroon_458 · 2026-04-16T16:47:50+00:00

Congruency and being genuine.Being comfortable with oneself and thinking most people have good intentions towards you.

One of my guy friends has a knack for making even the most jealous of boyfriends like him. It took me a long time to understand till I put those qualities of his together.

Abundance, non neediness,

tattooedpanhead · 2026-04-16T19:41:21+00:00

the way you carrie yourself is it. So act as if. as if you have 7" in your pants. as if you have a hundred dollars in your wallet and more in the bank. And you don't care if you get her number because you know there's more girls out there turning 18 every day, just like her.

Ur_X · 2026-04-16T16:24:54+00:00

You seem green here, women do not judge men the same way we judge them. Sure looks are an easy way in but its personality, status and money what makes a man stand out

ExtraordinaryBeetles · 2026-04-16T15:46:51+00:00

If you want something that's instantly polarizing... be loud.

Melodicmat · 2026-04-16T16:40:38+00:00

height, muscles, good jawline

anonymous_account_h · 2026-04-16T17:12:05+00:00

A yacht doesn’t hurt.

Tight-Maybe-7408 · 2026-04-16T19:05:14+00:00

Interesting that no one (at least in the first few that I’ve seen) has said being buff. As a skinny dude this is like my biggest insecurity and something I’m working on but seems like a big differentiator when you go out and about. For example I’d never wear a tank top to the club since I dont have the upper body for it, but if I did have it and did wear it, id prob do very well

lskerlkse · 2026-04-16T18:43:19+00:00

nice teeth, styled hair (bald with the beard is a good look, too) and a calm posture/walk

DeepfriedmemeBoy · 2026-04-17T04:13:03+00:00

emotional availability/maturity, a good sense of humor, and as always (clear and concise) COMMUNICATION. I can't stress the last one enough!! with some of my past partners who struggled with their emotions and communicating I would often say "you need to tell me what you're feeling or thinking, I'm not a mind reader!!" half jokingly. maybe it's my ND brain, but I need to be told if someone wants a hug, if they want space, if they need to vent at me, if I offended them, if they are just having a crappy day, etc. so I can act accordingly and either help them if I can or give them space.

Pretty_Boy_95 · 2026-04-17T04:15:52+00:00

Good sense of humour & confidence

Brooklyn_-_ · 2026-04-17T09:52:53+00:00

destroyeraf · 2026-04-16T16:43:02+00:00

Power

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-04-16T15:46:14+00:00

Pre-selection, social proof, body language and the rest is variance.

The majority of men are not attractive to the majority of women. But with the right set-up, in a room of 100, maybe a man will shine in the eyes for like 5-10 of the girls (possibly less). That is enough to get the ball rolling.

But don't underplay the variance. All forms of Game require inner game work. What people see in solo direct Game, is what holds at best for everyone for sexual attraction. It doesn't get better, so learn from the solo guys. This is usually masked in other forms of Game via friendliness and social attraction (i.e. interested in you platonically).

Ahmed104 · 2026-04-16T15:34:34+00:00

i want an answer too

JR_701 · 2026-04-16T16:45:34+00:00

One question, do these things apply if you're short

5hallowbutdeep · 2026-04-16T23:22:27+00:00

Socially vouched

Fayzzz96 · 2026-04-16T21:01:00+00:00

💰💰💰

LimberCa · 2026-04-16T19:28:30+00:00

La masculinidadddddddd!!!!!!!

cutiekilla · 2026-04-17T00:57:31+00:00

Spending money on me

Chcnnelorange · 2026-04-16T23:34:27+00:00

A greek nose

blitzer65 · 2026-04-17T04:03:01+00:00

height above 6'2

jt4643277378 · 2026-04-16T16:41:19+00:00

Treat em mean keep ‘em keen

Title	What actually makes a guy instantly attractive?
Author	Swimming-Loss-5370
Upvotes	188
Comments	123
Date	April 16, 2026 3:30 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sn6xk3/what_actually_makes_a_guy_instantly_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-actually-makes-a-guy-instantly-attractive.1578095 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578095

Comments