A woman who actually loves you would never accept one-sided open relationships

Sea-Ebb4658 · 2026-04-19T15:05:28+00:00

Yeah, i dont think some men even want a relationship based on love. Some men just want a transactional relationship.

pie-mart · 2026-04-19T15:17:52+00:00

Of course! Any woman who is ok with you flirting and or fucking other women doesn't actually care about you and are probably already fucking around with other men

abaxeron · 2026-04-19T21:41:10+00:00

Maybe 1 in 10 men will ever meet a woman "who actually loves" him. Let's even be generous and assume it's 1 in 3.

Out of those, ~2/3rds will filter out due to logistics (moving to another city, etc.) ~2/3rds of the remainder will just "flicker out" and lose interest for whatever reason (the list of icks is infinite).

So yes, for 1 in 27 men who will actually meet their one true lasting love, losing her because he wanted to roleplay having a harem is dumb as Hell.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-04-19T14:10:45+00:00

I agree that it’s goofy to expect a one-sided open relationship, because the expectations aren’t fair.

But there’s plenty of open relationships that work just fine.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-04-19T14:48:24+00:00

This was actually one of my favorite parts of the Theroux documentary, where these guys claimed they had one sided open relationships and then it turned out one of them wasn't actually seeing anyone else and the other had a bisexual wife, so it wasn't one sided at all.

HouseOfInfinity · 2026-04-19T18:19:46+00:00

There are many insecure and low self-esteem women out there who would agree with a one sided open relationship. The men don’t even have to be high status. Just use her emotions (if you loved me) against her.

You can’t love two people at the same time or be having sex with multiple people while in a relationship and be in love.

You may love that person to a certain extent but you’re definitely not in love. It defeats the purpose of what a romantic relationship is. Then there’s the fact that you’re going to care (lust) one of them more than the other.

DiscombobulatedTop8 · 2026-04-19T14:18:47+00:00

I don't think that's true, since I personally know examples of women who accept precisely this type of relationship and have accepted it for years. If a man is high-status enough, he gets away with it.
Don't get me wrong, the woman does suffer and age terribly. But she still accepts it because men with status are rare.
Maybe I can't show you the people I know in real life, but here's an example you can look up: Sykkuno.

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Just-Path-5838 · 2026-04-19T15:00:19+00:00

Aren't you just asserting this though? What's love anyway? Do asexual people feel love? Would they care if their partner slept around?

I think it comes down more to the individual and their personal boundaries, rather than whether they love them or not.

That said, most women probably arent going to be done with one sided open relationships with most partners. You're a famous athlete or artist, the chances your partner accepts it, are just gonna be higher. Whether or not these women love these men, is something only they know. But, they accept it, that's certain

MarioWilson122 · 2026-04-19T22:19:16+00:00

That is too absolute. A woman leaving is one possible outcome, not the only one. A woman can love a man and still hate that part of the arrangement. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. Caring is exactly why it would bother her, but being bothered does not automatically mean she walks away. People stay in situations they do not fully like all the time because love, attachment, lifestyle, family, and what the person means to them can outweigh the part that hurts.

The real question is not whether it bothers her. Of course it would. The question is whether she is willing to tolerate it. Some will not. Some will. So acting like acceptance proves there was never love is silly. It can just mean she loved him enough to stay even with something she did not want any part in.

Due_Knowledge7966 · 2026-04-19T15:47:26+00:00

Everyone knows women will compromise a lot for men they are deeply in love with. Of course this includes sleeping around.

AwardLimp2736 · 2026-04-20T07:02:45+00:00

There is a plethora of women on reddit alone chasing after men who won't commit to them and keeping them in their roster, are cheating on them relentlessly, or have an open relationship

There are also plenty of couples in the exact relationship you claim not to exist

Sorry, but how is this even a debate?

Lemon_gecko · 2026-04-19T13:57:35+00:00

As a poly person i have some insight that is controversial. I think it's totally possible to love someone and sleeping around. And i can even understand one sideness of this relationship, because you can feel it inside of you, that you sleeping with someone else doesn't change and might even improve your relationship with SO, but when you see them doing similar things you're just being eaten alive by your insecurity, what if they are better, what if, what if.

So yes, it is selfish to make it one-sided, it's not okay to lie or coerce people into that. And not all men who do that even love their SO. But to be fair a lot of men don't love their SO even without doing it. But i said what i said.

Local-Willingness784 · 2026-04-19T20:01:47+00:00

would this translate as well to guys who are into cuckolding? it seems pretty one-sided thing as well so idk if they would also be "Not in love" with the women who are cuckolding them.

harmonica2 · 2026-04-20T21:07:04+00:00

I've noticed that couple I know that had open relationships crashed and burned where as monogamous couples are more often happy.

Or it seems that a monogamous relationship has much more if a chance likely.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-04-21T10:30:50+00:00

As a poly (it's a lifestyle choice not an identity btw, don't let anyone tell you different) person who most definitely does NOT sleep around - this is complicated and nuanced.

There are people, men and women, who have a kink related to their SO sleeping with other people. If it's a consensual arrangement that makes people genuinely happy and satisfied - I see no problem with it. I don't like the double standard here, where cucks and their wives are perceived as just kinksters by people who fancy themselves progressive, and cuckqueans are perceived as repressed/coerced/having an ulterior motive, their husbands as abusive etc by the exact same people. It says a lot about people's true attitude to equality and I don't think I approve of that attitude.

Obviously, if someone thinks it's in men's nature to sleep around, therefore any woman has to accept it, they can go fuck themselves - quite literally, please take matters into your own hands and stop wasting people's time. The default relationship model pretty much all around the world is monogamy. If you want to live your life differently, you do so with a consenting and like-minded individual(s), not someone you manipulated into it. Nobody owes you non-monogamy, much less the one sided kind.

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-04-21T23:56:38+00:00

That's only true when she loves you but doesn't trust you, so she's afraid to lose you. As in you can get too close to somebody else and leave. In that case, of course, she will just want to supervise/participate/watch and in this case you still get variety but only in threesomes.

Otherwise, the argument is just almost self-evidently incorrect.

GoodLookingAthlete · 2026-04-22T19:45:24+00:00

It’s a hard sell indeed.

The only occurrence where I see it feasible is if the girl’s bi and the whole dynamic is framed as “we both f*ck another girl together from time to time”

Asterion__Moloc · 2026-04-24T11:41:32+00:00

Open relationships are often a meme in general, never seen a long lasting one and heard from my cousin about 1 when he was working abroad. A girl had a boyfriend but fell for her boss, so the open relationship lasted like 2 weeks until the first guy tried to do the same thing as the woman. It's just mental manipulation.

firemiketomlinpls68 · 2026-04-26T14:02:41+00:00

Absolutely. No women who lives her man would humiliate him to this degree

Past-Shoulder-631 · 2026-04-20T01:10:23+00:00

I think you’re right in that if a woman who truly loved you had to choose between you fucking other women or not fucking other women, she’d choose not fucking. But some women feel so pressured into accepting it that they choose to to accept letting the man they love fuck other women because they feel if they don’t they will lose the man they love .

I think open relationships are devoid of true love

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wellendowedgoat · 2026-04-19T22:45:06+00:00

No woman will be 100% ok with it, but some women might tolerate it if the guy is considerably more desirable than themselves. For example, if the woman is a 6.5 and somehow managed to start dating a guy that is an 9, she might tolerate his infidelity out of necessity in order to stay with him. She knows her chances of getting another such guy are slim to none, while she also knows he can easily find a more desirable woman than herself if they break up.

It's just one of many ways a less desirable person tries to compensate in order to have a more desirable person stay with them. She's compensating for her lower desirability by allowing him to sleep with other women in order to have him stay in the relationship.

Now if the woman was a 9 and the guy wanted an one-sided open relationship, she'd tell him to fuck off because she can find another guy of similar desirability fairly easily.

Proudvow · 2026-04-20T04:50:51+00:00

No there's a scenario where she would:

He was a virgin while she had a hoe phase.

An empathy-maxxed woman would understand the likelihood of that eating away at him. And a few such women have offered their BFs one-sided open relationships to fix it (though funnily enough, their BFs often refuse; even though the situation sucks they still can't bring themselves to sleep with other women).

Title	A woman who actually loves you would never accept one-sided open relationships
Author	ZealousidealBag5778
Upvotes	117
Comments	93
Date	April 19, 2026 1:47 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1sptg54/a_woman_who_actually_loves_you_would_never_accept/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-woman-who-actually-loves-you-would-never-accept.1578340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578340

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