Discussion: "In general, women accentuate men's lives. Men improve women's lives."

wekacuck · 2020-09-05T02:40:52+00:00

If that's true in general it's quite sad. My wife dramatically improves my life, it's just silly to suppose otherwise. I do my best to improve hers. Improving each other's lives is pretty much entry-level relationshiping.

I don't know, though. Why would guys allow women to only accentuate their lives? I wouldn't accept a woman who only accentuated my life. Why be in a relationship like that?

thetruthishere_ · 2020-09-05T02:23:36+00:00

I think both sides should date and seek a partner that adds to their life. Your life should already be stable(doesnt need to be perfect but stable) and a partner just adds to it.

NarniaFox · 2020-09-05T02:55:20+00:00

It depends on a couple. If they're into traditional role, it can be true as a woman's role is a role of helper. If they're into egalitarianism, things are more equal.

It also can be argued about whether creating a home, raising one's children and being sweet to one is accentuating or improving their life. Whats the main difference?

I've also seen enough older couples where a woman literally keeps her husband alive. Men here usually don't go to doctors until they have to transported to them. They also tend to ignore any medical prescriptions and necessary life changes. So it's women who make appointments, give all the pills, keep an eye on a diet and following restrictions. There are also lots of older men who don't clean or cook at all and of they live alone, they turn their flat into a nasty pigsty and eat what they can buy. So... I'd say that women living and taking care with them don't accentuate or improve their lives, they nurse them as if the guys were children.

nik6979 · 2020-09-05T03:40:50+00:00

I'll give you my experience.
My husband who is extremely good looking and dominant says I improve his life . Do I need my husband financially ? No . Does he require my finances to have the life he's accustomed too ? Yes . So he's accentuates my life and I improve his . This is my personal experience. Ijs

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-09-05T08:15:03+00:00

Both lifes supposed to be improved, otherwise people wouldn't do relationships, but the improvements are in a different ways.

rivertorain- · 2020-09-05T05:28:58+00:00

I disagree. Look at all the recent posts that basically have a thread of “men aren’t respected anymore”, “men aren’t needed anymore”.

If you agree that men are only “doers” because of women, then women are essential to men’s improvement. Look at the bottom % of men - men without women fall into depression and cannot “do” anything.

It seems like women can manage all the foundational elements of their lives without men, so men accentuate. Whereas men NEED women as motivation to improve themselves, so women improve.

CatchPhraze · 2020-09-05T08:43:11+00:00

No. Men live richer and happier and longer lives when married, the opposite is true for women.

Men factually have their lives improved by their wives.

If anything the quote functions in reverse or not at all. Sense single women are better off then married ones

2020-09-05T12:14:59+00:00

I don't agree, and I just find that statement too vague to be of any use. And personally, it's complete bullshit. I don't want someone who sees me as an accentuation, nor their whole life. Both options are equally annoying to deal with day-today.

A relevant study on U.S. marriage and non-marital differences in relationship satisfaction: Women More Likely Than Men to Initiate Divorces, But Not Non-Marital Breakups

GGMcThroway · 2020-09-05T15:12:07+00:00

Disagree.

In a healthy relationship where both parties are willing to communicate and express vulnerability to one another, no one has more power because they take one another's feelings into account and want to improve each other's lives in some way.

badgersonice · 2020-09-05T15:40:20+00:00

I would never want to be part of a relationship with a man who views me and treats me like I’m nothing more than an “accent”. If he doesn’t value me and truly appreciate my contributions to the relationship, then it’s really not worth being with him at all. What kind of self loathing would you have to have to marry someone who views your relationship as having so little worth to them?

Mimoxs · 2020-09-05T02:59:46+00:00

Disagree

You bear a burden of proof... In what way do men improve my life? I can think of men who have improved my life such as my father and BILs, but only one boy I was ever romantically involved with improved my life, and the way in which he did so was simply an emotional benefit that he got in return, a mutual benefit. However I can objectively say I improve the lives of most people I know because I make an active effort to do so.

However most men do not make any effort to improve women's lives, they exist in a parasitic nature to women's love.

In what way do men improve my life or any woman's life besides affection and sometimes money?

Women play a support role and men play the main/active role.

Yes women support men... And men do what? What is this main active role? We're quickly closing an income gap, and women continue to do the overwhelming majority of childcare, housework, comfort, acts of service and love, and generally everything.

From the women's standpoint, when I see this being said, it seems like they're saying that "men compete and the winner gets me/the woman."

From the men's standpoint, it seems like they're saying that "I've put in a lot of work so if you want me, you'll have to prove that you're worth my effort."

The problem with this whole idea is that women want to be the prize, and men.... Also treat women as the prize. Men often say "I'm the prize" but they don't act that way (see trp's "watch what they do not what they say" thing). Men have a desire, an innate one, to compete for women. Men need women more than women need men.

flamingoinghome · 2020-09-05T08:46:57+00:00

Sounds like nonsense to me. You can't go on lamenting about men being "disposable" but then claim they're integral to a woman's life like this. Pick one.

rubbooyuri · 2020-09-05T05:04:21+00:00

Is this another way to say “men built civilization”?

nemma88 · 2020-09-05T07:38:18+00:00

Being passive or submissive doesn't mean you can not improve someone's life or that your bland. There's plenty of assertive boring people. I'm passionate about things that are important to me, I'm more passive on the things I weigh as not important in the grandscheme.

Also I believe on the quote itself there's too much variance, rather than exceptions there's a lot of men and women that improve their partners lives, there's a lot of men and women who are neutral and there is still a lot of both that make their partners life worse.

Leaders can make it better, they also can make it worse. Being one and seeing yourself as the prize doesn't automatically make somone good at it - it is just as likely to be a negative. Leaders can lead you into debt, failed business, a partner jailed, leaders can be aggressive, emotional etc.

Edit; to expand on the last bit it seems like a wide possibility, they can rise greater and fall furthest. At the extreme ends you have the male billionaires, on the flip side you have partner violence that end with dead women. It depends how you see the distribution. I would imagine it's normalised and links to IQ.

skullirang · 2020-09-05T02:57:14+00:00

I’ve seen clueless men/women who got way better after they got a gf/bf. Accentuation vs improvement is based on the person’s shortcomings and not the gender.

For example lack of social skills exist both in men and women. Getting a partner, the individual receives benefits through partner’s better social skills by being tagged along in social gatherings and meeting their SO’s friends.

The only gender-exclusive scenario would be if an individual requires someone physically strong to improve their lives which would most be fulfilled by men. I’d imagine something lime that would exist in a war-torn country where a person requires someone to defend the family.

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-09-05T08:07:56+00:00

If men improve women’s lives why are married women the most depressed and single women the happiest? 🧐

wtknight · 2020-09-05T03:01:30+00:00

I feel like my wife improved my life by making me more grounded and domestic. I lived a pretty cluttered, bachelor life before I met her. Maybe some guys don't consider it an improvement that they're better at picking out nice furniture, decorating their houses, cleaning after themselves and cooking healthier. Or maybe they were good at doing these kind of things already. But a lot of guys aren't good at these things, and a good woman is able to improve guys like this.

rosephase · 2020-09-05T02:31:06+00:00

In general being in a relationship does something to your life. It could be adding A companion or a collaborator it could be an accent it could be an improvement. It’s not super gendered. It more how individuals approach connections.

_mwk · 2020-09-05T06:10:23+00:00

yeah, no.

not if we are considering children in this, and someone who considers their kids "accentuation" and not "improvement".....idk sounds very off

poppy_blu · 2020-09-05T13:32:41+00:00

We accentuate and improve each other’s lives. We are as you said prizes to each other.

This isn’t that radical outside these parts.

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87AudreyHorne · 2020-09-05T10:14:41+00:00

I really dont know why reddit is so into this domination and submissiveness story. Most people are not like that and to be fair I'm much more stereotypically familiar with the outspoken and energetic woman and flegmatic male (even if that is not really accurate either)

But I don't see how that relates to your title point. Sometimes these "dominant/energetic" partners are presented like Karens who dont enhance their partners lives but burden them with their ideas of what this person should do and be like. I dont think mellow (or as you call it "submissive") people want to be dominated or that it would enhances their lives just cause they give in to avoid argument

Grave_Heresy · 2020-09-05T13:19:05+00:00

Totally disagree. Women lead from behind so that they receive all of the benefits of the man's sacrifices and take on none of the risk or cost.

Women have always used the promise of p-sleeve and affirmations to convince men to be cannon fodder or gear oil.

The saying should be changed to "Women accentuate women's lives, while men improve women's lives"

Ain't nobody doing sh!t for men, not even other men. No one ever has and no one ever will.

Snacksbreak · 2020-09-05T15:56:28+00:00

I would say the exact opposite (in aggregate, obviously YMMV).

Marriage/partnership seems to drastically improve men's lives. Better health, better reputation at work, better perceptions of them socially.

Women seem to have worse lives in relationships since they usually take on added household burdens and emotional labor. If married, especially if kids come into the picture, her career prospects suffer. She is socially often expected to subsume her desires to those of her husband.

I think there are wonderful men out there, so this is not ALWAYS the case. But generally, it is.

learn2earn89 · 2020-09-05T16:52:44+00:00

I know you stated “general dynamic” but I find that nowadays this isn’t really the case.

I have male family members with female partners that have greatly improved their lives. It’s a lot more mutual nowadays. Then again, I live in liberal California, so I might be mistaken in regards to the rest of the USA and the world at large.

SaBahRub · 2020-09-05T05:53:08+00:00

You mean, “men make things better but women bring different things to the table”?

That’s pretty much a male-centric viewpoint. Which would be fine if the gender split wasn’t 50-50

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-09-05T20:45:34+00:00

Men are more likely to remarry than women. If a woman simply doesn't improve his life/well being, why is this happening?

relish5k · 2020-09-05T20:50:26+00:00

First off, I think it depends how young you are when you couple. If you partner young (<25), then you are still building your lives, and you do so as a team, together. Neither the man or the woman is really "established" yet, and over time your partnership improves both of your lives.

If you partner when you are older than you are already an established, functionally dependent individual. You are looking for someone who will "fit into" your life rather than build a life with (as in accentuate).

Depends more on where you are in life than what's in your pants.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-09-05T22:08:30+00:00

(Quote moved to correct thread... wow)

Sid_Insidious · 2020-09-05T22:10:27+00:00

(Quote moved to correct thread, I need rehab.)

Velvet_Unicorn2154 · 2020-09-06T14:07:17+00:00

“A man is not a necessity. A man is a luxury, like dessert”

-Cher

sksk_nothx · 2020-09-05T05:02:19+00:00

This is the only post in this sub where my brain cells don’t die off

Sekina7 · 2020-09-05T06:07:11+00:00

Anecdotal and statistical evidence as to how marriage and long term relationships benefit men far more than women .

SeemedGood · 2020-09-05T02:33:28+00:00

All one has to do to suss this out is observe tha qualities women look for in men and the reverse.

Makes it pretty obvious.

SurelyWoo · 2020-09-05T02:48:43+00:00

You described the dynamics well, I think. Males, who tend to initiate courtship, seek out someone to accentuate (or accessorize) their lives, and convince the female through promises to improve hers. It's a well-worn relationship path, even if modernity has disrupted it a bit by providing other paths.

HOLYREGIME · 2020-09-05T04:37:57+00:00

TLDR: Just read the title.

Accentuate meaning trophy wife?

She’s the arm candy. She represents your status and place in life but to her you’ve improved her entire life. From the bed she sleeps in to the meals she’s eats to the car she drives.

You turned her whole life around and but she simply compliments yours. Guys are the ham, turkey, stuffing, mac n cheese and women are simply the bread rolls, the green beans.

I think all relationships are like this but vary in scale obviously. Both partners benefit but women often take the lions share of that benefit.

Sekina7 · 2020-09-05T05:50:23+00:00

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/insight-therapy/201510/is-marriage-worth-it-women?amp

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/iko2fw/mothers_who_divorce_their_childs_father_due_to_a/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201412/why-breakups-are-actually-tougher-men?amp

HeyHoOhNoNo · 2020-09-06T00:58:57+00:00

In general, women ruin men’s lives, especially once married.

Look at the suicide stats for male divorcees.

Women sell men a lie of love and loyalty to extract maximum resources with minimum risk.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2020-09-06T01:40:26+00:00

It fits pretty well with the idea that women date across and up while men date across and down.

mensahi41 · 2020-09-05T03:40:22+00:00

Disagree

I don't know why a woman or how a woman is supposed to accentuate my life. I mean what do I really gain? A relationship and then what? I can cook and clean on my own or hire a helping hand. Kids aren't necessary and Sex isn't a huge priority. I mean a relationship is nice maybe to have an another companion but when you have good friends to hang out with then you also would question that reason.

I've seen it spoken about amongst both sides where they, sometimes in their pride or inflated egos, affirm "Women/Men are the prize," but what does this mean to the person saying it? Of course, it implies that someone has to "earn" their exclusive and loyal commitment or dedication.

Anyone who legit says they are the prize aren't worth it. If you are a prize the only thing I do would probably to polish you and put you in my trophy cabinet.

For those that want to talk about exceptions, I've noticed in my experience and observation of others that more attractive people are often lacking in personality traits like good communication skills, humor/wit, and depth of character. Obviously, their physical features contributed enough to their parents' ability to reproduce so those things never needed to be cultivated to serve a purpose.

Yep that's true. Almost every attractive girl that I know or I'm friends with is neither really funny nor great at communicating. At least they laugh at your jokes. So not everything is bad

Their opposites (attractive but bland men and unattractive yet warm and sociable women)

Isn't it always the other way around?

("Look what I got! Isn't he/she great?"), women's tendency to be passive or reactive and men's tendency to be active forms a dynamic where men are "doers"/leaders and women are "be-ers"/followers.

The part that probably annoys me most. For what do I need a be-er? That's a waste of time. If you aren't doing anything then I neither need you or want to be in relationship with you. Attitudes like this ruin people.

2020-09-05T20:57:00+00:00

You are factually correct. Women are only needed by me for sex and reproduction, whereas women will literally die without the resources and protection of men.

Slyfer_Seven · 2020-09-05T02:46:51+00:00

I think that's close, but I would say it's more along the lines that women enrich men's lives and men fulfill women's lives...

sigma1932 · 2020-09-05T08:16:03+00:00

Translation of the statement in question: Women are just baubles and trophies and men do all the actual work.

Sounds more like parasitism to me. FTR, this is also a big part of the reason MGTOW is a thing.

Title	Discussion: "In general, women accentuate men's lives. Men improve women's lives."
Author	TheBookOfSeil
Upvotes	25
Comments	223
Date	September 5, 2020 1:32 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/imskpp/discussion_in_general_women_accentuate_mens_lives/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/discussion-in-general-women-accentuate-mens-lives.174100 https://theredarchive.com/post/174100

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