"Former" slut

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-05-22T21:34:34+00:00

I think like most dopamine addictions, it is a habit that can be broken, not a permanent state of being.

Edit:

Since Atlas thought it was hilarious, I’ll link to the specific dopamine gene researchers think is partly responsible for promiscuity.

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0014162

hammerhaunts · 2018-05-22T21:29:22+00:00

Is a felon still a felon if they resume a normal life somehow afterwards?

LewisCross · 2018-05-22T22:42:21+00:00

I can't tell what you're asking here. I'll do my best to give you my answer.

A promiscuous woman is a slut. She can be a former slut. she cannot unfuck the guys she fucked. That means that if she used to fuck lots of guys, but no longer does, then she is no longer a slut. She's a former slut.

Yes a woman can be in a slut hiatus... she can fuck lots of guys, stop, and then go back to fucking lots of guys. She was a slut, during her hiatus she wasn't, and then becomes a slut again when she goes back to fucking lots of guys. (Is this difficult to understand? I don't think it is. Why do you find this difficult to comprehend?)

Fucking lots of guys isn't a permanent state of being, Or at least it doesn't have to be. What seems to be more persistent (if not permanent) is the mindset, worldview, behaviors, attitudes, and pathologies that either caused the sluttery or were caused by the sluttery.

--jaded, cynical about life, men, relationships, sex, etc. Exceedingly distrustful of men to the point of pathology and neurosis

--accustomed to using men

--uses sex as a sword for attack, a shield for defense, and a tool to use for her own ends, whatever those might be at the moment. Sex isn't for enjoyment; it's a tool or a weapon she uses to get things she wants and to manipulate men

--elaborate mental/emotional defense mechanisms to avoid being used by/injured by/"abused" by men

--can't ratchet up sexual attraction to men who actually would commit to her

--bitchier and moodier than most women

--flips attitude at men more than most other women

--displays anger and resentment at men: men who judge her for her past history, and especially at men she fucked before who wouldn't commit/mistreated her in some way (i.e. were less than honest, pumped and dumped her, etc.)

--almost pathological need for maximum control over relationships with men, so she selects for less attractive lesser betas she can control and manipulate with sex and her attitude

--whatever underlying mental illness/neurosis/personality disorder that either caused the sluttery or was caused by it. Her stopping fucking lots of guys doesn't just make that mental fuckedupness go away. It's still there; the only difference is that now she's not fucking lots of guys. She's still fucked up.

To me, those personality traits, behaviors, tics and attitudes are the mark of a slut. For many, those traits, behaviors, tics and attitudes persist long, long after she stops being promiscuous. A woman can overcome those attitudes and behaviors. But it is exceedingly difficult and time consuming, kind of like a former Blue Pill pussyboy soyboy who improves through TRP.

wtknight · 2018-05-22T21:32:04+00:00

No. I think women can want to have fun for part of their life and want to settle down later in their life just like men can. The problem is that many men think that these women are settling for Betas who they are unsatisfied with because these are the only men these women can find by then, and that they will eventually want to go back to their "slutty" ways once they realize that they are unsatisfied with said Beta.

mach_like_a_flame · 2018-05-22T22:08:44+00:00

Once a slut, always a slut.

ybcurious93 · 2018-05-23T01:02:09+00:00

This depends honestly. I dated a reformed slut. The sex was AMAZING. However she inevitably got bored and said she wanted to started dating(hoeing) around again. I was fine though because I knew h-day would come eventually.

I don't shame any girl because of their hoe tendencies however don't act innocent either.

Cho_Assmilk · 2018-05-22T22:56:27+00:00

I'm flabbergasted that you of all people would ask such a stupid question.

larkinnaire · 2018-05-23T01:11:47+00:00

If someone is a slut for a long-enough time (like a few years) then I guess I'd call them a former slut (not with any sort of negative implication, though -- sluts are great!). And a person who was single for awhile but currently has a partner is a former single person, sure. It's really about the length of time of the sluttiness. Someone who grows up Catholic but ends up atheist is, uncontroversially, a former Catholic, right? But someone who tries it out for 6 weeks and decides it's not for them can't really call themselves a former Catholic.

reluctantly_red · 2018-05-23T04:30:01+00:00

People seldom change that much. If a woman likes to sleep around she's probably not a good bet for a LTR. But she may be a great casual acquaintance.

TheMiddlePeak · 2018-05-22T23:05:49+00:00

Is an addict, always an addict?

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-05-22T21:56:42+00:00

Giving yourself up for nothing over and over again puts you permanently in the slut category regardless of future actions. You can hamster it as single vs not single behavior but that doesn't change how you will be judged. You can avoid that by dipping out of wherever you have a reputation but men have the slut detector just like women have their virgin loser detecting abilities and an evolutionary aversion to investing in the village bicycle

paccount112 · 2018-05-22T21:34:05+00:00

By using the term I suspect the girl is convincing herself, not me

whitetrashcarl · 2018-05-22T22:35:02+00:00

Personality is malleable and it does change , look there are girls who do a bunch of drugs and bang lots of dudes and then they turn into cold fish moralizing church ladies in old age

But I think that’s more the exception than the rule. What I've seen of go hard trashy women is that generally sluttiness is a general mindset and approach to life. It’s a permanent state of being. Even when she’s in a long term relationship she probably still wants to go wild now and then , maybe limited by her age a bit but yeah the spirit is still there

Black_m0ngoose · 2018-05-22T22:59:54+00:00

Sluts, of either gender, are dopamine addicts.

Anyone knows that an addict is never cured, they're always a "recovering addict."

Can't escape your past. It's called accountability.

quicklogaccount · 2018-05-22T23:21:16+00:00

Well. No "former". We're (men) all on a slut hiatus. You're (women) all on a slightly different kind of slut-hiatus.

If either man or woman has lived their potential to slut, they're forever doomed with knowledge of what they'll miss.
Women might score high and just don't miss it at all, but slim chances these days. Men will know forever. That's all that changes objectively, but each person reacts to it differently.

Hystericalprince · 2018-05-23T00:29:20+00:00

It's the same thing as saying someone is violent, nice or mean as a person, they can still change.

SkookumTree · 2018-05-23T02:59:24+00:00

It really, really depends. First of all, are we making a distinction between ethical and unethical sluts? Let's say we are. Sluts of any type will tend to remain so, just like any other personality trait or set of likes and dislikes. It's certainly not set in stone like some people here say that it is. And about "reformed" sluts: that could be anything from party girl turned born-again Christian to sensation-seeking hippie settling down into an open marriage...where she hardly ever uses her "hall pass".

rogert2 · 2018-05-23T04:38:49+00:00

Is a gambler still a gambler if they haven't set foot in a casino in 10 years?

What about a "film buff" who hasn't seen a movie in 10 years?

A "doctor" whose license was taken away 10 years ago and now works in a convenience store?

A "gamer" who hasn't owned a console since college?

A "nice guy" who turned into an asshole 10 years ago?

To the extent that a term is a characterization of someone's behavior, the term stops applying once it becomes clear their behavior is different. There may not be a bright dividing line between past and present (i.e. a "statute of limitations"), any more than there may be a specific quantity of activity to qualify, but that doesn't change the basic fact that the term applies only so long as it is a reasonably accurate description of the person's behavior.

Other terms don't work this way: a "felon" is a person who has ever been convicted of one of a specific class of crimes, and thus a permanent label. Similarly, a "veteran" is someone who has ever fought in a war (there's no such thing as an "ex-veteran"). I don't know whether there is a general rule for distinguishing which class a term belongs in, or how many such classes there could be. Certainly there are lots of words for describing people, many of which aim to describe their character, many of which aim to assert facts about them, and likely many that can serve in both capacities.

The answer to your question will ultimately depend on how you define "slut," which in turn will depend on your interests. If you're trying to stay away from people who've had many sexual partners, you will probably draw the line differently than if you're looking for easy sex in the near future.

peeingclitoris · 2018-05-23T14:44:56+00:00

Slut here. While I think sleeping around is a pretty accurate estimator, I think a lot of people on this thread overestimate the ability to guess other personality traits from N-count. In another post I said I raise/lower my n-count towards different groups of people. When I'm with gal pals I might inflate it to make a point. When I'm chilling with my coworkers I lower it because I don't want people to get the wrong idea.

It usually isn't productive to lie about n-count to partners, especially since the end-goal is apparently snagging somebody with so many sexual hangups that they can't even handle an overview of my romantic history. What a waste of time. In my experience with men asking for an n-count, it seems like the general idea is to see if I've actually slept with more than four men or some other low-ish number. I usually will give my n-count because it's a good indicator of whether or not the man is so insecure that simple facts like that will cause him to lose sleep. I currently am in an open relationship as well, so issues like n-count are basically nonexistant. I hope to find partners that appreciate my ability to be a reliable support system, and want to try new things with me. In my experience men who care about n-count can provide/accept neither because they're upset over things that happened years ago when I never knew them.

Edit: I feel like lots of men, not just rp ones, overestimate how far women go to impress specifically men. I'm mentally ill, a slut, college educated, athletic and culturally literate. If I really wanted to impress men like the ones commenting, I would act subordinate, stop sleeping around, and act stupider. It's always been pretty clear to me that submissive, virginal and doting are qualities a lot of men search for in LTRs. All of these qualities require literally NO EFFORT AT ALL to maintain. Finishing college and educating myself to the point where I talk men's ears off at the bar and drive them away was a lot of work. Dealing with my mental illness instead of waiting around for a man to make me feel better is a lot of work. I'm pretty sure most rp men are not attracted to me more than physically. I don't really care if I'm a former or current slut, because I still have the sexual experience, and I don't get calendar reminders about when to be or not be a slut.

S1imdragxn · 2018-05-23T18:41:24+00:00

Stop butchering Platonism Atlas.

Its regular permanent because your actions define you. There’s no redemption unless you’re Christain

Otherwise you are what you act out

TreKopperTe · 2018-05-22T22:04:48+00:00

Slut isn't a thing. Sleep with who you want, when you want. If you and your partner agree on a monogamous relationship, stay monogamous.

LowCreddit · 2018-05-22T21:51:59+00:00

They can mature. That doesn't mean I want to date Amy Fingercuffs. They might not always be sluts, but it is only getting harder to move away from your past with the Internet.

LewisCross · 2018-05-23T13:44:19+00:00

You sort of asked this about 6 months ago. The answer is the same now as it was then.

A woman can't just say "k, just going to stop sleeping with tons of men now" and expect all the problems underlying that to just go away with a snap of her fingers. Doesn't work that way.

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abaxeron · 2018-05-22T22:58:54+00:00

I'll be fair, No. Freaking. Idea. Not even once a woman with deep background history has shown any interest in LTRing me. My only attempt to date an easy girl ended in two weeks when her bestie called me and told she's already.... um.... "courting" another guy. Obviously, men's observations of women's "slutness" are facing the same limitations as self-reported surveys: we don't know what women consider as "doesn't count", and we have no source of information for their personal history except what they and their friends/relatives tell us.

Frankly, I don't even remember if I ever called any woman a slut at any point in my life. Women who openly and proudly have N-counts of dozens seem to exist in some sort of parallel reality from me.

Black_m0ngoose · 2018-05-23T02:23:27+00:00

is a woman who is single for 2 years and dates during that period a "reformed or former single person" when they meet an LTR or marry?.

Depends, do we call future drug addicts "reformed sober person"?

Robotemist · 2018-05-23T16:30:37+00:00

No such thing as a former slut, only women in a position where being slutty isn't currently beneficial

cxj · 2018-05-24T01:57:59+00:00

The girl is not a slut anymore if she’s not sleeping around currently and hasn’t for some unspecific amount of time. However, that does not change the crushing feeling of disappointment most men feel when they find out the girl they are really sweet On has fucked above an arbitrary number of other guys . This is especially true for guys on any end of the beta spectrum, ie most

yenvalmar · 2018-05-24T05:33:16+00:00

Outside of the internet or place of worship, nobody really cares, how many people somebody slept with is just another data point about a person to understand a bit about where they are coming from, if it's somebody you are actually in a relationship with.

irishpunk87 · 2018-05-26T17:30:14+00:00

I'll say this: if said sluttiness resulted in having a kid, I'd say that's pretty fucking permanent.

DareyFathom · 2018-05-22T21:47:55+00:00

"Slutty" behavior is going to correlate to other behavior patterns. Many of which are not ideal for LTRs. I'm sure there are plenty of reformed sluts that are good partners. Men with options will not likely want to take that chance though.

wekacuck · 2018-05-22T21:53:28+00:00

The gist of it is that "slut" behavior can be co-morbid with psychiatric disease. So a "former slut" might be viewed along the lines of "former BP" or "former BPD" and a sort of recidivism or falling of the wagon is expected. That sort of thing.

jax006 · 2018-05-22T22:04:37+00:00

Q1: yes, I think it can remain a useful label because it carries implications about the person's character.

Q2: no, because "single" IMO is not a useful label and carries no/very fickle implications about the person's character.

[deleted] · 2018-05-23T03:38:00+00:00

Would you pay msrp on a rental car?

Title	"Former" slut
Author	Atlas_B_Shruggin
Upvotes	14
Comments	187
Date	May 22, 2018 9:24 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8ldrd9/former_slut/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/former-slut.262301 https://theredarchive.com/post/262301

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