Why do women have casual sex?

AlpacaKid · 2018-04-26T10:06:08+00:00

This thread is so stupid. Women who have casual sex do so because it's what they want to do.

newName543456 · 2018-04-26T06:29:35+00:00

Because they have sex drives too?

xtfftc · 2018-04-26T09:19:26+00:00

If this is the impression that this sub leaves, then this sub is very detached from reality.

Yes, casual sex tends to be less enjoyable and fulfilling. Yes, there's risks.

But for many many people - men and women - it's still worth it most of the time. And they do it, because they enjoy it.

I would strongly advice against over-analyzing this.

[deleted] · 2018-04-26T10:57:46+00:00

Evidence that a higher N-count leads to higher infidelity and divorce later in life. Study by the heritage foundation. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about. It's a bit controversial to some, but regardless doesn't look good for women.

Well they didnt take into account religion making people more likely to stay married even when it sucks - so that study is flawed in at least one important way.

Most women report not enjoying ONS. They say they feel used and it's not even that good.

Sometimes casual sex is a FWB thing and then it can be great, and maybe you get the right ONS.

Sex is not the same for men and women. Nearly any sex is good for an average man. Many women report they can in fact have bad sex.

Basically men suck at sex - so casual sex is better with a woman if you are a woman. but maybe you get lucky with a man that doesnt suck at sex.

Stigma. Girls that sleep around get a reputation of a slut. Most of them don't like that for obvious reasons.

When out of high school is there a "slut" stigma. I could sleep with a different person or people every night of the week for a year and I wouldn't get called a slut cause why do people I work with know that level of detail of my life?

Pregnancy and STD's. Sleeping around can lead to pregnancy by a man who you hardly know and may not at all be father material. Also, women are more prone to catching STD's. That's no fun!

Condoms!

Anyway I would bet that women who have casual sex do it because they like sex.

GridReXX · 2018-04-26T06:00:43+00:00

Is your question why do women have "casual sex" or why do women have "ONSs"?

Casual sex being defined as any sex outside of a committed long term relationship.

ONS being sex on the first night and never seeing the person again.

thinkytoes · 2018-04-26T13:35:25+00:00

Because I like having sex with people I am attracted to and makes me feel good.

I'm sorry if this answer seems obvious but its the men I would never fuck who tend to analyze this. And since I look like some bullshit status symbol to those types, they will continue to talk about nonsense like body count and virgins and loose morals while offering their mothers to Satan himself for a chance to sniff my literal asshole.

Then I will get called arrogant for stating this truth when OP asked women like me a question.

sublimemongrel · 2018-04-26T05:57:44+00:00

It’s not worth it IMO, but that’s for me, personally. I don’t speak for other women who actually enjoy it. The only reasons I had the few flings I did was because I was depressed and felt like I owed them sex. I’d imagine those who enjoy causal sex do it for very different reasons.

poppy_blu · 2018-04-26T06:23:28+00:00

Correlation =/= causation. It's not like there's a magic number of dicks you can casually touch that will turn you into a cheater if you weren't one before.
Not all casual sex is ONS's.
You can have good sex with someone you're not officially dating
Discretion and tact are key
Condoms

And women have casual sex because drumroll sex is fun and sometimes u horny

poppy_blu · 2018-04-26T06:48:03+00:00

The same reasons men do: because they want to and they can. People fanatically obsessed with this topic need to come to terms with this reality. You can not like that women have casual sex, you can refuse to date or marry women who have casual sex, you can teach your daughters that women having causal sex will be the ruination of humanity. But nothing you do or say will ever STOP women who want to have casual sex from doing so. That is a fact that no amount of repetitive reddit posts will change.

Unwanted pregnancies and STDs of course have ramifications beyond the individual, but they are also 100% preventable.

As for the other reasons, all I can say is that if one wants to spend their time worrying about whether complete strangers are enjoying their sexual experiences, I'd say, maybe try some new hobbies?

I'm not defending or advocating for women having casual sex. I'm merely pointing out that the constant obsession with the topic is not healthy.

I would also point out to the plate spinners that shaming women into not having casual sex will in fact result in no more plate spinning. Seems like a pretty obvious conclusion to me but maybe I'm missing something.

Evidence that a higher N-count leads to higher infidelity and divorce later in life. Study by the heritage foundation.

Correction: that study came from the Institute for Family Studies. Which isn't a huge jump politically from the Heritage Foundation, but point is, wrong citation.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-04-26T07:59:42+00:00

What a silly question. Women enjoy sex, too. They report not enjoying mediocre sex. Unfortunately, sometimes sex turns out to be mediocre anyway, but that's like saying "Why do you order steak?" when sometimes you get medium when you ordered rare.

Having a committed relationship takes effort, time, commitment and compromise. It can be extremely rewarding, and make life much easier to have a partner that shares your goals. But not everyone has time or energy for dating, but still enjoy sex -- Thus, the ONS. It's a gamble, but so is life?

thinkytoes · 2018-04-26T13:35:37+00:00

Because I like having sex with people I am attracted to and makes me feel good.

I'm sorry if this answer seems obvious but its the men I would never fuck who tend to analyze this. And since I look like some bullshit status symbol to those types, they will continue to talk about nonsense like body count and virgins and loose morals while offering their mothers to Satan himself for a chance to sniff my literal asshole.

Then I will get called arrogant for stating this truth when OP asked women like me a question.

wtknight · 2018-04-26T12:37:50+00:00

Some woman do it because they are into the guy and want him to be into her. Others do it because the sex is still okay and it comes without commitment. This is why FWB is so popular as the sex is not a stranger, the sex is probably better because that person gets to know your likes and dislikes better, and there is no real commitment. As for ONS, people eat fast food and know it doesn’t taste as great as a lot of food and is not as healthy, but they eat it anyway. There are all kinds of decisions that people make thinking only about the short term and not the long term.

NalkaNalka · 2018-04-26T05:10:47+00:00

Ctrl + F: Alcohol.

pinkgoldrose · 2018-04-26T12:19:28+00:00

It's the dating culture. It's how people date nowadays. In surveys both men and women report hoping hookups will lead to something more. But not all relationships work out. It's kind of the barrier to entry. If you want to hang with a guy as more than friends and see where things go, you have to sleep with him. Well you don't have to, but it's the normal way things go. It's definitely not good for women and I think men pulled a great heist by transforming the dating culture that way.

cateml · 2018-04-26T13:27:49+00:00

Evidence that a higher N-count leads to higher infidelity and divorce later in life. Study by the heritage foundation. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about. It's a bit controversial to some, but regardless doesn't look good for women.

Cause, effect and correlation. People with a higher sex drive are more likely to want to cheat (not necessarily will because cheating is a moral thing, but they're more likely to want to, and therefore overall more of them will). People who are more impulsive and therefore have more casual sex/desire to have casual sex are more likely to give in to the desire to cheat, or get 'itchy feet' compared to identical less impulsive people. But a lot of very impulsive people don't cheat, because they love their partner and do not want to hurt them - getting with someone with massive self control because you think that means they won't cheat is meaningless unless they also really care about you. It's just if you take a large statistical sample, that's what you see.

Most women report not enjoying ONS. They say they feel used and it's not even that good.

Says who? Plenty of women enjoy ONS. Some have them because they need validation or feel pressured, and they might well not enjoy them. But the women that have them on the regular have them because they like them. I don't enjoy ONS personally - but then I don't have them for that reason. People are different.

Sex is not the same for men and women. Nearly any sex is good for an average man. Many women report they can in fact have bad sex.

Sex can be bad, but then sex can be really good. You have it because you want to see if its good or not. If you're comfortable with yourself and don't feel pressured, then we'd call it 'bad sex' but actually we mean 'meh sex'. It just is, and it's worth the punt at it being good.

Stigma. Girls that sleep around get a reputation of a slut. Most of them don't like that for obvious reasons.

Stigma isn't a reason not to have it, its a reason not to look down on it. The only reason they don't like that is the stigma itself, if you don't say 'being called a slut is bad' then there is no reason to fear being called a slut.

Pregnancy and STD's. Sleeping around can lead to pregnancy by a man who you hardly know and may not at all be father material. Also, women are more prone to catching STD's. That's no fun!

Condoms. In the even that it breaks, you take the morning after pill. With proper condom/contraceptive usage, and proper medical care, risk of these things is pretty low and generally one that people are happy to accept.

oihaoerhg · 2018-04-26T17:43:43+00:00

Sex is not the same for men and women. Nearly any sex is good for an average man. Many women report they can in fact have bad sex.

I think if men could get sex consistently as women, they would also be picky about how good the sex was.

letstryforaparty · 2018-04-26T22:32:17+00:00

I actually thought about this for quite a while before replying. I would think the answer is going to be different from every woman who engages in casual sex. Some of them do so because they like sex. That is the simplest answer. The positives outweight the negatives for them. Unfortunately i've also known women, mostly young women, who do the drunk-hookup thing consistently because they have self-esteem issues that are seriously interfering with their lives. Just to be clear, I do not intend that to mean every woman who engages in casual sex has a self-esteem issue. I have noticed this most with women who get falling-down drunk before they go home with a guy. That is not a healthy lifestyle in any sense.

I've never engaged in casual sex because I don't want to. There are many reasons for that but it basically boils down to not wanting to be intimate with someone i don't know well and who has no connection to me. I've never wanted to do so.

GridReXX · 2018-04-26T05:33:11+00:00

Sometimes you're young and naive and think it'll help you get a LTR with him.

Sometimes it's a fun, respectful FWB situation where you're enjoying the intimacy but don't want a relationship with them.

Sometimes you're just drunk and he's hot and hits on you when you're in the right mood.

In my experience casual sex is usually neutral to ok. It's only really a bad thing when you're really into the guy and it's not reciporacated.

Edit: I really don't agree with this idea that casual sex is so horribly risky and damaging to a woman. Normal people out there are having all kinds of sex, and they're pairing off and having normal lives just fine.

Evidence that a higher N-count leads to higher infidelity and divorce later in life. Study by the heritage foundation.

Yeah I don't buy this.

Most women report not enjoying ONS. They say they feel used and it's not even that good.

I've only ever felt used when he led me to believe it was more than "just sex" to get laid. If I'm into a guy and it later comes out he was just after a fuck, yeah that sucks.

Sex is not the same for men and women. Nearly any sex is good for an average man. Many women report they can in fact have bad sex.

Yeah this is true. As you get older though it gets a lot easier to stop bad sex.

Stigma. Girls that sleep around get a reputation of a slut.

In some circles, yeah. Not mine.

Pregnancy and STD's.

Very easy to avoid.

Willow-girl · 2018-04-26T10:20:04+00:00

The challenge of cutting that pony from the herd ...

dicklord_airplane · 2018-04-26T14:55:19+00:00

Some women enjoy it. Nuff said.

Priene · 2018-04-27T13:57:01+00:00

> If I've learned anything from these discussions on PPD, it seems that this is a big one. Casual sex is not good for women and most don't like it. I'll go through a couple points that I see consistently to back this up.

I'm confused. Aren't women supposed to be tripping on their feet to fuck chads? How is casual sex suddenly not good for women?

> Evidence that a higher N-count leads to higher infidelity and divorce later in life.

No. The only reason why you don't see more divorces happening in religious families is because.. they are religious and those cults are adamantly going to avoid getting a divorce even when both of the people married are miserable.

> Most women report not enjoying ONS. They say they feel used and it's not even that good.

Most of the women who have ONS are filing up online surveys?

> Sex is not the same for men and women. Nearly any sex is good for an average man

Nearly any sex is good for the severely below average man who likes to tell himself he's average.

> Stigma. Girls that sleep around get a reputation of a slut. Most of them don't like that for obvious reasons.

They do? Where?

> Pregnancy and STD's. Sleeping around can lead to pregnancy by a man who you hardly know and may not at all be father material. Also, women are more prone to catching STD's. That's no fun!

Condoms + birth control + 12 birth control methods that can be used by women + abortion + giving the kid to adoption, how likely is a woman going to get pregnant from having ONS?

storffish · 2018-04-26T11:50:09+00:00

she's drunk, she's emotional and has something to prove, she's horny.

little of column A, column B, column C

paccount112 · 2018-04-26T13:09:15+00:00

Junk food isn't either.

[deleted] · 2018-04-26T14:42:05+00:00

This thread is so logical it hurts. I understand logic is good, but this kind of linear thinking just blatantly showcases the inability to connect with people, and that is 100% of the reason why OP struggles with dating.

[deleted] · 2018-04-27T23:25:50+00:00

That would probably have something to do with the fact that having sex with a hot and sexually desirable partner is pleasurable to women, OP?

Most women report not enjoying ONS.

That's more often related to not being attracted to the guy.

WolfgangBreitweit · 2018-04-29T10:34:31+00:00

Self importance.

ganso_bum · 2018-04-29T12:13:33+00:00

Because they're sluts and they can always blame the man and society will prop her up and protect her if something goes wrong?

Littleknownfacts · 2018-04-26T05:19:23+00:00

[removed]

Doom_and-Gloom · 2018-04-26T11:36:34+00:00

They don't think it's gonna be just casual sex.

ImNotJustinBieber · 2018-04-26T05:21:46+00:00

As a lure for higher quality mates. On one hand if the guy just fucks and leaves at least she got his superior genes. On the other hand, if it turns out he really likes her personality, too, he may stick around and pair bond for a while.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-04-26T12:54:59+00:00

Women are showing, over and over and over again, that they don't care about any of the possible ill effects from casual sex. Ill effects have been mostly negated.

Pregnancy and STD can be mostly avoided. Even if you get an STD, stigma attached to them is largely nil now.

Women don't seem to care about having bad sex, because they'll take some bad for the chance at some good.

They have ONS for many reasons, based on their reports: fun, validation, affirmation, bragging rights, longshot chance at locking down a Chad, scratch an itch, because he looks like fun in bed, he's not relationship material but they'll still fuck him, for the hell of it, boredom. Women are showing over and over again that they're ok with casual sex. Even women who don't have casual sex are ok with other women having casual sex. No judgment. Team Woman. Keep them all in the herd.

So based on reports here and watching what they do, women love casual sex. They love it. They get more good out of it than bad.

sabadr · 2018-04-26T15:47:19+00:00

So many women go on dates because they want to have longterm relationships while guys want casual sex they are not interested in relationships. i think women do it for the guy to keep him satisfied and get him to stay. Also now virgin shaming is a big thing and if you dont have sex regularly u dont fit in. Im a virgin myself and want to stay a virgin till marriage but i dont think any guy would be interested in getting married with A women without having a long term relationship before which includes sex .

DarkLord0chinChin · 2018-04-26T07:04:55+00:00

Because women lie. They actually like getting fucked by Chad, even if it's only for one night.

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LadyD_91 · 2018-04-26T06:04:17+00:00

Because most people aren't taught the consequences. Being in the west world and trying to talk about abstinence is like telling a fish to stop swim.

[deleted] · 2018-04-28T14:07:13+00:00

To have orgasms.

VoidInvincible · 2018-04-26T07:45:01+00:00

Daddy issues

ivegotsomequestions0 · 2018-04-26T15:07:56+00:00

1) Drugs and alcohol. These items can make what is not so fun, fun. Plus, they lower inhibitions so that you have an easier time saying "what the hell, why not" to whatever is offered you.

2) Media. I'm not going to weigh in on whether this is good or bad, but watching TV and movies when I was a teenager, and reading enough novels, left me with the impression that *any* sex would be this transformative, blissful, orgasmic experience. I couldn't wait to try it. However, it didn't live up to the hype. For a while I thought that there must be a way to enjoy what seems to be so enjoyable for everyone else.

However, I have had a couple of female friends who genuinely enjoyed casual sex, and would come from it. So physical pleasure is also an option for some.

Willow-girl · 2018-04-26T05:06:09+00:00

for the same reason men like and comment on instagram posts in the middle of the night, or ever: they're stupid

stupid women are sex sluts

stupid men are attention/compliment sluts

women will get what they're after when they learn to shut their legs

men will get what they're after when they learn to shut their mouths

[deleted] · 2018-04-26T14:08:16+00:00

Women who have casual sex usually have low self esteem and low self worth.

Title	Why do women have casual sex?
Author	FI-Boy
Upvotes	10
Comments	265
Date	April 26, 2018 4:55 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8f04me/why_do_women_have_casual_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-have-casual-sex.262740 https://theredarchive.com/post/262740

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