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What should girls do at the peak of their youth?

victxriarose
July 3, 2017
4 upvotes
/r/PurplePillDebate
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Post Information
Title What should girls do at the peak of their youth?
Author

victxriarose
Upvotes 4
Comments 234
Date July 3, 2017 11:54 AM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6kzg4d/what_should_girls_do_at_the_peak_of_their_youth/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-should-girls-do-at-the-peak-of-their-youth.267211
https://theredarchive.com/post/267211
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Comments

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 9 years ago (129 children) | Copy Link

Is the peak of their youth in their 20s? If so they should enjoy their life, such as traveling, partying, meeting new people, trying new and fun things. Its a time when people are dating but not really settling down (getting married). It's a time when people should be obtaining a job that's more of a career, but they are also still figuring it out.

I think this also includes men in their youth.

[–]Xcutshotx points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Best answer.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you

[–]Entropy-7Old Goat2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

"Peak of their youth" is a funny term. IMHO neither men nor women hit their stride until they are 30.

[–]oneandforall points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Women are most attractive in their early 20s. I think that's what the OP was referring to when he said "peak of her youth".

[–]Entropy-7Old Goat2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Younger girls tend to be "cute" and some will be "hot". Most of the ones that could be described as "beautiful" or even "gorgeous" tend to in the 27 to 33 range.

[–]KV-n1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

cope.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Its a time when people are dating but not really settling down (getting married).

Why is getting married settling down? If my wife told me to wait until she's ready to settle down, I'd have told her to get lost. Instead, she gave me the best of her life rather than the rest of her life and we're living the dream.

The exciting dream, not the I'm ready to settle down and die dream.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Settle down : to begin to live a quiet and steady life by getting a regular job, getting married, etc.

Source: Merriam-Webster

I really do think that people in their early 20s don't get married often, they typically get married when they are older. That's cool that you're married. I see marriage as being with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, but of course some people do divorce. I think marriage and having a family is a good thing but it also means that someone has settled down.

Edit: of course you can marry and still party and travel with your spouse. It's just that typically people plan to start a family after they get married.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I can understand steadying your life after 30, but waiting to get married until you're 30 is ill-advised. Yes, your partner should steady you, or be your rock so to speak. But they should also excite the ever living fuck out of you. And the guys who can do that want your 20's too. That's why I said I'd have told my wife to get lost if she asked me to take her after they've ended.

Now I'm not telling girls that they should go get married immediately. I'm just saying they'd be wise to date selectively from the start, to look for guys who are both comforting and exciting instead of getting laid now and cared for later. Not that I know what womanhood's like or anything, but it seems pretty obvious that one guy who's got it all is better than multiple guys who add up to it, and being unwilling to give him your 20's will not likely land you that guy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I do believe if a women meets the one, the guy she would want to spend the rest of her life with and he wants to be with her, then I think there is no need to date other people.

What I was trying to say is that in your 20s is the time when I believe most people date others in search for a LTR. You have to keep dating other people until you find the one. The only way to know if the person is the one would be to date them. Like sometimes after dating someone that's when you either realize it's not going to work or they are the one.

I'm not saying people have to have sex with everyone they date, or encourage people to hookup. Personally I don't like hookups or friends with benefits. But I know that some people in their 20s are looking for that.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (59 children) | Copy Link

Its a time when people are dating but not really settling down (getting married).

Just because that's what they ARE doing doesn't mean that is what they SHOULD BE doing. Current social norms are dangerously at odds with biology.

[–]IckyStickyPoo4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

Just because that's what they ARE doing doesn't mean that is what they SHOULD BE doing. Current social norms are dangerously at odds with biology.

Do you advise red pill men on what they "should" be doing and do you tell them that their "norms are dangerously at odds with biology"? Such as getting married in their early to mid-twenties because that's when their sperm is at its peak health?

[–]kick6Red Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

What does marriage gave to do with sperm quality?

[–]IckyStickyPoo5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

I can't answer that unless you tell me what is dangerously at odds with biology.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

You know exactly what is dangerously at odds with biology. What isn't biology is marriage. Or "the college experience" or "finding yourself" or any of the other reasons we use to justify delaying reproduction until the womb is on its deathbed.

[–]IckyStickyPoo4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Ok then, do you advise rp men not to delay reproduction so that their sperm doesn't get too old? 20-25 is the best age for men to have babies, due to sperm health. Usually, babies are better within marriage. That's why I mentioned marriage.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

You're trying to tie marriage into this, and I'm not going to bite because of it.

[–]uto-uto points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

marriage was mentioned in the line you quoted, which you responded to by saying that people shouldn't necessarily be doing 'that' (dating without settling down). marriage was part of the conversation from the beginning.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Care to quote the part that says marriage?

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

???? yeh ok dude...

[–]SpaceWhiskey🍃 Social Justice Druid 🍂2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

When do you think "the womb is on its deathbed"? I have a friend in her early 40s who just had a baby.

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

yeah and there are 90 year old guys who've fathered kids. just because it is medically possible in some cases doesn't mean it's going to be possible for everyone, and it's definitely not a good idea.

fertility drops quickly in women in their 30s, and the odds of having a child with serious birth defects increases dramatically.

if a woman wants to have kids, she shouldn't wait until she is 40 to do so. sorry, life isn't fair but it's a basic biological reality.

[–]SpaceWhiskey🍃 Social Justice Druid 🍂1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Well, the actual biological reality is that my friend who is 41 had a normal healthy baby. Yes, there are risks. But there are always risks in any pregnancy. I am aware of the science on the subject. I'm just over guys on Reddit - most of whom I'm assuming are under 25 - speaking like they're an authority on what women should and shouldn't do with their bodies. It's silly.

[–]blackedoutfastRed Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

that's good for your friend. but that doesn't mean other women should be encouraged to do the same thing.

yes there are always risks involved in any pregnancy. but that doesn't mean that it's a good idea to add even more potential risks and complications on top of it.

if a woman wants to have children, she shouldn't wait until she is 41 to do so. it has nothing to do with men telling women what to do with their bodies or patriarchy or any of that bullshit. it's absolutely scientific fact that older women have a lot more trouble actually getting pregnant, and if they do get pregnant, it's a lot more likely to result in a retarded or deformed baby.

[–]MarriedLifterBP guy0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Fertility rates start falling in women's 30s and are much lower in their early 40s. Men face similar problems with lowered sperm quality by their 40s.

On top of that, newborn babies are exhausting, and it's fun to have kids when you're still young enough to keep up with them for the next 20 years or so. And it's nice to be alive long enough to spend some quality time with your grandkids.

So honestly, I think that putting off kids until the mid-40s is generally a poor tradeoff for both men and women. If you're active and in good health, mid-30s is not a bad time to have had the kids you want to have.

[–]IamTheWalkingMenu points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What is the "college experience?" Yes, I was in Greek life and went to foam parties and whatnot but I still got a pretty useful education. Oh and a pbk too.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The college experience is alcoholism and promiscuity as you so eloquently summarized as "greek life and foam parties."

And while you may have gotten a useful education, the majority of degrees profered aren't.

[–]IamTheWalkingMenu points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

alcoholism and promiscuity

What? Have you ever been to a foam party?

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Several. It was a bunch of drunk people doing naughty things below the foam line.

Alcoholism and promiscuity.

[–]BiggerDthanYouBluetopia2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Current social norms are dangerously at odds with biology.

Then why do they feel so natural?

[–]madude20162 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

So do stuffing yourself with junk food and sugary drink and watching TV all day.

[–]BiggerDthanYouBluetopia1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah but I don't see anyone arguing that eating is at odds with biology

[–]madude20162 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Being dumb and clueless is natural too.

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Then why do they feel so natural?

Basic psychology and behavioural science will explain why it feels natural. Psychology and behavioural science also explains how doing what feels natural in an man transformed (unnatural) world is counter productive some of the time. For example you sometimes get extremely angry at a loved one or even a stranger, to the point you just want to hit them. That is natural, though it's not a good thing to exercise that nature. That is the most basic example I could think of, though it's deep routed in many complex human interactions. It's fascinating to even touch the tip of iceberg in these areas, it really shows you that you know next to nothing about humans at all :D

[–]kick6Red Pill Man-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

This is why feelz should not be the operative reason for...Well anything at all.

[–]BiggerDthanYouBluetopia2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Okay, but how is marrying young more natural just because God says so? Having a bunch of casual sex and short term relationships feels much more in line with nature than culturally enforced monogamy

[–]Shipcake1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Raiding the next village over killing all the men and raping the women is pretty natural?

What is natural isn't good, civilization is built on restraint

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

These burn outs don't get it they just consume what civ gave

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Are you replying to the right person?

[–]BiggerDthanYouBluetopia3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Yes.

Its a time when people are dating but not really settling down (getting married).

Current social norms are dangerously at odds with biology.

You were saying that dating but not really settling down is at odds with biology and I was asking why you think that marrying young would be more natural

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Waiting til you're 30 to consider reproduction and then being 35 when you attempt it is in fact at odds with biology. I'm still not sure why you, and everyone else, is attempting to pin marriage to that.

Wait, scratch that. You're hoping to get a TRPer to say that men should get married young. Sorry, not going to happen. Marriage in its current legal context is still a shit bet for men.

[–]BiggerDthanYouBluetopia3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah you should have been more specific.

If you argue against

Its a time when people are dating but not really settling down (getting married).

You need to make it clear that you are actually arguing about reproduction and not marriage as the quoted part you provided implies.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was arguing about biology. I shouldn't need to be more clear that marriage isn't biological.

[–]SoupyTwistTwisty0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Marriage for women is also a shit bet. More and more women are deciding marriage and breeding are not worth it.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I haven't seen that trend. I've seen a delay in marriage age as the narrative has ramped up in frequency and amplitude, but women eventually want a husbsnd and babies.

What I have seen is that they've pushed this want so far out in their life, that they're then unable to realize them for various reasons. End then you get the sour grapes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Cuz evopsch said so and evopsych is 100% fact, I read it in the Daily Mail.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

Personally I don't think people should get married in their early 20s, I think they should focus on school and their careers more, and they will have more freedom to do what they want. When I was a teenager I thought I would be married in my mid 20s and starting a family (currently 24 so it may still happen, but I doubt it). But now I think it's best for me to focus on earning money to support my future family, and to be able to buy a house. If people want to have kids, and are able to afford to do so they are free to do it.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

That's what you think because that's what you've been told. You've also been told you need a 6 figure salary and a mcmansion in order to raiae a family.

Funny how our parents didn't...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

And you, too, are just repeating what you've been told.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Lol. No. There is no voice saying "$45k a year is fine to raise a family on at 25." Not. One.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

There's plenty of them on PPD, TRP, MGTOW, the whole "manosphere" in general really.

[–]tiposkChad Thundercock: the story of a manospherian homoerotic fantasy2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

But that doesn't count. Their advise is for dem slutz so they don't hit the wall and become alpha widowed spinsters at 30.

It doesn't apply to rp alpha males. Those can spin dem bitchez til they are 45 and still marry a high quality 22 yo virgin who cooks for them and offers them porn star sex. I know it's true because I read that in their field reports.

[–]tiposkChad Thundercock: the story of a manospherian homoerotic fantasy0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

But that doesn't count. Their advise is for dem slutz so they don't hit the wall and become alpha widowed spinsters at 30.

It doesn't apply to rp alpha males. Those can spin dem bitchez til they are 45 and still marry a high quality 22 yo virgin who cooks for them and offers them porn star sex. I know it's true because I read that in their field reports.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I think 2 partners making 5 figures each is doable, it also depends where people live. I also think a nice house and yard is desirable. Personally I would want 2-3 kids so a 4+ bedroom house would be good, don't need a mcmansion.

Its not impossible just easier when the parents have more money. Our parents did it and many other parents currently do it. But some of them live in rodent infested apartments with their family because they can't afford better. I grew up in 2 family homes, that were infested with roaches and mice, having to share a bedroom with my 2 sisters (not bad). If my family made more money we could have lived somewhere better. But my life is also good, I had food to eat, a place to sleep, health insurance, some luxuries growing up. I just want to give my future family a better, more comfortable life than I had. I think it seems reasonable for people living in the U.S.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

You still think a household income in the top 5% is required. Think about that for a minute.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

Well I live in NYC, in order for banks to lend money, at least where I live, they want at least a 5 figure income ($60,000) perhaps it's cheaper in other states. So $60,000 just to buy a house(edit: not to buy a house just to get a loan inorder to afford the down payment, and then over the years pay the mortgage) then there is insurance, cars, clothing, food, bills, some money to take family vacations. I think a family with $60,000 income is alright, but $100,000 seems much better, so between like $60,000 - $100,000 is desirable, for combined income.

I know people live on incomes of $30,000 -$60,000 but that means they live in apartments or 2-3 room homes or 2 family homes. Of course there are exceptions and people probably live in better homes.

How much money do you think families need to earn?

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Lol. Yea. None of your thoughts or your location surprises me.

Good luck with your sex and the city life plan.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Lol, thanks.

I lived in NYC all of my life, I don't really want to move, but if I have to then in the future I might. Also I don't even live in Manhattan, I live in the cheaper areas.

Curious which state do you live in? Is it more affordable, what incomes do families tend to earn that's desirable?

[–]kick6Red Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

"cheaper areas"

I live in the suburbs of a major city in Texas. What you pay for an apartment the size of my closet is what I pay for a house with a 7000 sq ft yard.

Obviously everyone "desires" more income, but if you live away from one of the liberal meccas of degeneracy (NYC, LA, Chicago), you can raise a family on $45k a year. Just without the trappings of hyper-consumerism you feel are required for a fulfilling life.

[–]OfSpock2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, but my Dad's desire for a McMansion was instrumental in destroying his marriage.

[–]rreliable1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Peak of their desirability, for sure.

Sex while you are young and hot is probably better (if you work on it) than when you are post wall.

[–]LyaninaBlue Pill3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Why would sex get worse, from the woman's point of view?

[–]rreliable1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything else declines with age, why not that?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (54 children) | Copy Link

I get this is the common mentality, but don't you think your wording sounds superficially hedonistic? What about

enjoy their life, such as traveling, partying, meeting new people, trying new and fun things

makes it particularly suitable for early 20s? Say, are women who at 35 already have children in middle school, inclined to enjoy life less?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (43 children) | Copy Link

What's wrong with hedonism? When you're in your early 20's you do not have much responsibility yet but you're also an adult. This makes it the perfect time to fuck about. Later in life your body and brain age so you don't have the same youthful energy you once did, plus you have real life responsibilities to worry about.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

I've never met an older person who said "I sure do regret doing fun shit in my twenties."

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Exactly.

I honestly think those on PPD who make a point to advise against it are just jelly because they never got to have fun in their younger years themselves due to lack of social experience etc.

This is a common theme I've spotted with these "no fun allowed" types especially online ones.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

And it's weird to me because it's always framed as "having fun" vs "looking for a partner to settle down with." But how are you supposed to meet someone? If I hadn't partied and had fun and a vibrant social life in my youth I wouldn't have met my future husband. It's not like it's an either/or thing.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Nah fam everyone knows the moment you get on dat CC ur doomed to be alone with ten cats post-wall cuz no Quality Man™ wants you, it said so on the internet so it must be true.

[–]aznphenix4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

No you forgot being forced to settle for a BB they're not attracted to.

[–]GridReXXit be like that2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This happens regardless. It can and will happen when she's 20 vs when she's 30. Half the reason women don't settle down at 20 is because they're not attracted to anyone. Settling down with their BB earlier in life doesn't change much except now she's all "I never had fun in my 20s 😩😪"

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This post is pushing me to rebel against my parents and have more reckless fun

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's easy to be swayed into hedonism

[–]GridReXXit be like that3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I've met a whole bunch who regret it.

For some reason TRPers think having fun means becoming a crackwhore and filing for bankruptcy several times over.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

True.

Idk, when I say having fun I mean like...being social, trying new hobbies for the fun of it, traveling a little. Not doing hard drugs and making life destroyingly bad decisions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

True.

Idk, when I say having fun I mean like...being social, trying new hobbies for the fun of it, traveling a little. Not doing hard drugs and making life destroyingly bad decisions.

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

I know of many older people who have either ruined their lives or are now dead because of their 20's. So that's the flip-side to your experience right there, you must have happy people in your lives :D Also people have a tendency to complain about things that are affecting them now, even though what caused it happened many years ago. Sometimes that thing you loved is actually causing you a lot of pain, you just didn't have the capacity to realise it. Psychologists and therapists talk about this very often, I would recommend watching some Jordan B Peterson to get to grips with concepts that are easily overlooked.

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq.5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Well that's taking "fun" to the extreme don't you think?

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I am no expert on drugs, but no one intends to take it too extremely. Often time the people who get messed up start in the same position as those who end up fine. Addiction is obviously not a choice aha :D Though there is a large grey muddy area in between rigorously conservative, and carelessly carefree. I argue that people should take time to think about exactly where in that grey area they are heading towards. A lot of suffering we experience is at the hands of our own ill-advised actions, I just want people to be aware of that and take responsibility for it. It's easy to blame life or others for things that go wrong, I had a pretty tough experience with this recently. Though now I've come out the other side much better as I learned my lesson, while a lot of people would not have self reflected and missed how they were to blame. If you don't feel wiser year on year, you are doing something horribly wrong, though I see this all too often.

I had one lower-classman go down this path, he asked me for advice and I tried to get to the depths of his soul. I managed to get pretty far, but it became apparent that he had to make a difficult decision. I let him know what the consequences would be if he didn't, and I guess he will probably make the choice that will cause him so much grief down the line. He was an intelligent person by normal standards, I just hope he doesn't become vulnerable and picked up by nasty people. People like are the people who are easily manipulated into becoming terrorists, it's honestly sad to see.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I am no expert on drugs, but no one intends to take it too extremely

OK for the record I wasn't talking about drugs in my comment, I've never done drugs myself.

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh sorry, you were just talking about fun in general to the extreme. Well you have clearly thought about what is acceptable and good for you in the long run to be able to identify what is extreme. Those people I talked about above didn't, it's more common than you think. Also a lot of people can only see what is bad when it's already happened, they didn't try evade the suffering pre-hand. I am guilty of this with deciding to continue a degree I didn't like, but found profoundly easy. It almost destroyed me mentally, I was so depressed by the time I finished, still recovering :D

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yep society is full of enablers that lie in your ear do this do that it's fun it feels good how can feeling good be bad?

It's so logical right?

[–]GridReXXit be like that1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

why does having fun = destitute life of a heroin addict

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I hope you are joking right, come on... I was talking about a worst case scenario to make my point absolutely clear. There are many kinds of less dangerous momentary kinds of fun that will affect your life and psychological makeup, in which some will have negative effects that counteract the point of the fun. Psychology and behavioural science have made progress in these kind of fields, please don't look at things so simply it hurts.

[–]GridReXXit be like that1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Everything affects everything negatively or positively, including living a life absent of relatively safe "temporary momentary fun."

Ironic I'm the one being called "simple." Cute.

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything affects everything negatively or positively, including living a life absent of relatively safe "temporary momentary fun."

Though Everything is not equal in how it can probabilistically negatively or positively affect your life. Since we are dealing with the future and predictions, it's clear you have to observe actions consequences on a probabilistic scale. Though even then if you do a systematic formulation it is clear that it is possible to yield the best outcome from a combination of seemingly less viable choices in isolation. Though the likelihood of a succession of good independent choices leading to a more desirable result over a succession of bad independent choices is clear. Implying otherwise would suggest that the world is 100% chaos and 0% orderly or systematic, which I know you are not implying.

It would be interesting to run simulations on such a principle. Also this train of thought leads me back to a principle called summation over paths I read in a paper years back, I wonder if there are any practical implementations of the theory and principle? I wasn't being Ironic...

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Well according to the definition of hedonism, nothing is inherently wrong with it. However it is easy to use hedonism as a ideological scapegoat for being reckless and therefore invalidating the fundamental principle of hedonism. You have to analyse pleasure and fun on several different levels of time span.

for example doing coke is great while you are doing it, worse when you are craving it and ultimately life damaging after a few years of indulgence. Ultimately that is not worth it if you want to weight it against pleasure you will lose out on over a lifetime. It's important to live in the now, and it's also important to live in the future. So Our decisions should benefit us now, tomorrow, and at any level of analysis if Ideal. So drink, party, travel, meet people and have fun, though don't lose sight of the future because if you do you will make in the moment terrible decisions. For example if you want to eventually settle down and have a family, it's not advisable to sleep around in your youth as it is psychologically detrimental to LTR and pair-bonding.

There is only one answer to what girls should be doing at the peak of their youth, and that is to plan out how they can get the most out of life in the next 5 years and where they should end up at 30. you don't need to follow the plan, but it's important to have it made, as it will subconsciously guide you down the path that will hopefully be good for you. It's important women take responsibility for their lives earlier than men, men still have 5-10 years extra to brush it off.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You're seriously over-analysing life. Yes you need to consider the future as well as short-term gratification. No you don't need to never do anything fun or never take any risks just because Bad Stuff™ might happen.

Coke is easily to use casually, over here plenty of people do it on the weekends and nothing bad happens except they come down the next day, big deal they'd just be hung over otherwise. The WHO agrees, cocaine is widely used casually, addiction is rare compared to its overall use.

Then again in the US you have half your country hooked on pharmaceutical amphetamines and the other half hooked on pharmaceutical opiates anyway so what's the big deal?

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh haha you're joking, was pretty funny reading that. It's funny some people believe "over-analysing" or "over thinking" is a bad thing, unless it yields undesirable results it isn't. To yield bad results you would have to either develop anxiety from it, or your method of analysis is sorely misguided. What some people call over-analysis is simply just other people exercising their ability to think more and more deeper that's all. The only reason life is so advanced as it is because of the top 1% or so of competencies that use "over-analysis" to yield the best results possible.

I never said don't take risks... not taking risks is actually an extremely large risk in it self. Though sure many people get by okay doing cocaine casually, those who don't are completely fucked! Is it worth having this brief moment of fun if there is a small chance it will ruin my life? Well that's up to the individual to decide based on their own cost benefit analysis, I am saying it is stupid to go into these things without even thinking about that though. I am of the thought that all drugs should be legalised, it's better for virtually everyone. Though if coke really is harmless, the only thing I am guilty of is using a bad example. I will admit I am not an expert on drugs... Though I also know there is a lot of shit thrown over the internet which I shouldn't believe (political nonsense), though I will believe anything from John Hopkins as they are probably right at least 90-99% of the time. [EDIT: It has been claimed that up to 40% of my country's socialised healthcare budget is spent on treating obesity and drug abuse. So it's a big problem still.]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Though sure many people get by okay doing cocaine casually, those who don't are completely fucked! Is it worth having this brief moment of fun if there is a small chance it will ruin my life?

Using this logic I assume you never drink, yes?

I am of the thought that all drugs should be legalised, it's better for virtually everyone.

Yep prohibition simply does not work.

Though if coke really is harmless, the only thing I am guilty of is using a bad example. I will admit I am not an expert on drugs.

Heroin would have been a better example for your point. Although only ~20% of users end up addicted, I'd still say the risks are too high and the upsides too low to ever endorse heroin use to anyone.

[–]EmpoweredGirlMisanthrope0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Well that's up to the individual to decide based on their own cost benefit analysis, I am saying it is stupid to go into these things without even thinking about that though.

This came directly after what you quoted. In context it is clear that my question was open ended in a way that the answer will vary from person to person. I specifically said it's up to the person, with that logic then it is clear to assume me not drinking alcohol is unfounded. I do drink a fair bit, but I am always reflecting to make sure I don't go too far and become addicted.

I can take a certain amount of risk, though some risks don't seem worth it to me. I guard my brain as it's the part of me that will make me a lot of money, I don't want to mess it up. Though I'll easily risk $Millions before touching my head. It's why I didn't take anti-depressants when I went through a horrible spell of depression, instead I sacrificed my degree which seemed insane to my peers. Because I am not educated on drugs, I've personally taken the stance that anything above Alcohol and Marijuana is risky for me. Though I am open to studies that prove that other drugs are just as manageable, which is very likely. Though I don't think many drugs will be my cup of tea, I didn't even like marijuana when I tried it :D

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Take it from a former drug dealer and addict (I denied it at the time) you're right and Groovy is a burn out with much to learn I'll give him 5 years before he 180s on the whole hedonism is good philosophy but that's just based off how my life went.

The true bad harvest from a life of hedonism and nihilism is the emptiness inside not the n count or drug addictions

[–]md8716 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

My simple belief is that hedonism produces weak people. Weak in mind, weak in spirit, and weak in body.

Your 20s should be spent primarily on harnessing your youthful energy, hunger, and hustle going outside your comfort zone and realizing your potential as a human being.

Most women don't do that, though. They trade on their looks and become complacent, chasing after hedonism and being basic beckys. The wall hits, and they go on to have average, unremarkable lives with unfulfilling marriages, and life goes on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Why can't you do both? Why's it one or the other? I'm in my early 20's and working my way into better jobs and doing side hustles and all kinds of shit while also stuffing my gob/nose/lungs full of drugs with my mates on the weekend.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

All I'm getting from this thread is that people don't know how to manage their time.

You can ONLY have fun OR a career OR a relationship. All three? Literally impossible!!!!

[–]md8716 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You can do whatever you want. I'm just saying it makes you weaker than you otherwise would be.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

But I'm asking why you believe those two things to be mutually exclusive.

[–]sunkindonut149Blue Pill Mouse0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao I had all the responsibility poverty and bill hell in my early 20s >_< it's only in my mid 30s that I was able to come up for air + even realize that I'm no longer female.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

First, it's more about the "superficial" rather than just "hedonism", second, you said it yourself, you're at your most energetic, and energy = power x time, and with great power comes great responsibility...... to use that time to bear children!!111, more detailed opinion in my other reply

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

with great power comes great responsibility

A quote from Spiderman? Srsly?

to use that time to bear children!!111

So I can waste my youth being miserable? No thanks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Spiderman? Never heard of it! Isn't it simply how it is? Would you rather waste your.... middle age being miserable?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't it simply how it is?

Yeah it is, proves my point tho. Later in life is when you gain more power and responsibility. In your younger years you have neither so have more freedom.

[–]StudntRdyTeachrApearThug Passion Pill0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What's wrong with hedonism

It's like you're trolling

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey if you can't provide an answer just say so.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

When people have children they don't have as much freedom as they did before. They can't go out and party as much as they used to.

I meant they can be more carefree or they have more freedom to do what they want in their 20s (before they have kids). Do you disagree?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Freedom without qualifiers is hell. I wish every day I would have had children before getting testicular cancer.

Total freedom = freedom from purpose meaning and duty

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Sad to hear that, so I'm guessing you are unable to reproduce (sorry if that's offensive), but you can adopt.

But I do understand it would suck when I'm ready to have kids, hopefully in my 20s, and I'm unable to

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah it's not offensive in the least is what it is. Adoption is for rich people only pretty much

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I'd say that there is a bigger problem with my "conservative" approach that you haven't pointed out... (last)

But first, I think that in the long run you aren't actually missing out by by skipping those "carefree" years. It also means that you "get it over with" (family) earlier, and then you're free to do what you please, with the valuable experience of having raised a family, and, well, having the support of a husband and your family. Granted, those things won't be clubbing and getting drunk on festivals, but travelling, reading, volunteering, connecting with people, all more meaningful you could say.

And you may say, that in a way, you'll never be really "free" from responsibility towards your children, but then again you could say that your responsibility for them, meaning to build a good life in which you bring them in, starts as soon you decide that you want to have them anyway.

Second, I think that finding an attractive husband is simply only going to become harder over the years, tying into....

Third, those experiences you'd rather gather will most likely be mixed. I'd say men in general prefer to be with a woman who has some of that youthful, not to say childlike, innocence. And for good reason.

Love isn't something purely rational, and is precious for that very reason. I think that at 33 women are likely to feel like they've seen it all in terms of romance, had their heart broken 1-2 times, and still have the memories of that one really impressive man to whom their husband won't really compare, to whom they won't be as enamored the way they would have been with 23, and they - with them, and I think it's better for children as well as for raising them when there is still passion between parents, even if it is "blind".

Of course, you may have a more experience, more grounds on which you'll be able to judge and choose a serious partner, but imo this is negated by the facts that this is experience that you won't have shared with your husband, and that the more attractive ones will be less eager to commit for those reasons.

In times when marriage would have been more of a family affair and the "judgment" thus more taken care of... would that itself have been better or worse? And of course I think it's a good idea to finish college before starting a family, and then it's problematic when you have those family years between college and work....

But those things I think are a matter of management that would be taken care of if there was a demand for it.

wow, that was a lot of "I'd say".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

The things you said sound reasonable. Personally I think people should get married and start having kids in their mid or late 20s or early 30s but before that I think they have more freedom to have fun.

Once you have kids the first thing you most think about is your children. Before kids you can go out party and be drunk or tipsy, which I think people should experience once while in their youth but they should be safe about it. Once you have kids (especially if the kids are young) you have to think who will watch your kids while you are out, you are not able to stay out too late, and it's not a good idea to return home too intoxicated.

You can travel when you have kids, but it's more like a family vacation, or you could leave the kids home and go on vacation with your spouse. When kids are around it's just more family friendly, and restricted.

Of course you can still have fun like you mentioned but it just seems like maybe a little less.

For me when i used to work as a cashier, we would leave at 8pm and on the whim someone would suggest we go out to eat, or walk around the city, or go to a bar. When you have children you may not be able to do this, especially if the husband is at work and the babysitter has to go home soon.

Also I'm not advising that people should be unsafe when I say have fun. You can go to bars and not be drunk. People tend to date many people which I believe the purpose is to find someone to enjoy your time with. Personally I don't like hookups but I see dating as more of a search to find someone to have a LTR with or to find a spouse. You don't necessarily settle in your 20s because you are searching for the person to settle with.

Edit: when I say settle I mean settle down, which also means to get married, to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and have a family

[–]okaygirl1231 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It depends about that "travelling with kids" part. I do know a neighbor's family with two sons who went to Singapore, dropped their kids in the resort and then roamed the city, on the flip side, my family and I regularly travel to many places (mainly wildlife themed). The very same city that they went, we'd seen a side of it that they'd never heard of.

Family vacations aren't going clubbing and banging hot people in foreign night clubs, yes, but there's a separate fun in them. If the kids are old enough, going out of your home country can bring out a new side of them. I was a very insecure and shy person, then my family travelled to Singapore and I was in charge of planning and navigation.

I guess it depends on what you want, but don't discount family vacations. Your kids are part of your family too, they're your products. Have fun with them like you would with your wife/gf.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I understand. Especially when the kids are older the parents can travel around without them, or don't have to worry as much.

I'm just a paranoid person, and I wouldn't want my kids out of my sight especially in a foreign country.

Currently I have no kids but I do have younger cousins, niece, and a brother. If I go out by myself I just have to worry about myself. If I go out with kids now I have to worry about them too. Make sure they eat, keep an eye on them, make sure they don't drown if they are in a pool. Of course I do have fun with them too.

[–]okaygirl1230 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, it's never going to be the same, but that's just a trade-off when you have a family, isn't it?

It's like having a cat. It needs a bed, regular feedings, a change of it's litter box and toys to play with. It needs to be vaccinated. If you travel, you can't just leave it at a cattery, as cats are very territorial and may stop eating if moved from their home. You'll have to leave them at home. This means that you'll have to get someone to come in and feed them twice or thrice a day and change their litter...

It's easier to just pet and feed ferals than own a cat. But it's the deal we got into when we decided to bring them inside. Same goes for anything else in life. It's always easier to just be alone, no one to worry about but yourself, just bang people when you want, etc. But if we want to start a family, there's certain things we need to keep in mind.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

To have a children in middle school at 35, a woman would have to have her kids by 23. Most college-educated women don't finish having their children by 23.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Regularly post on PPD.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Why?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

It's where you find all the highest quality men and women.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Are you sure about that? My impression of people on the internet in general are drastically different from yours

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think he's pulling your leg.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I cant catch a joke through the internet...or I'm just a little dull

[–]trpobservereats ass2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Or both! :D

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Damn, I'm sorry to hear about your self-esteem issues.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I disinclude myself though :P

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

But we're all special here on PPD

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You win

[–]pinkgoldrose5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Go to school, get your career going. Unless you want to have 11 kids, there's no point starting them at 21.

A baby conceived at 21 is not better than a baby conceived at 31, it's just that the odds of getting pregnant every month are higher when you are younger (from 18% at 25 to 12% at 35).

Older mothers are better mothers (even when you correct for socioeconomic differences) because they are better equipped to deal with complex emotional stimuli and therefore produce children with less behavioral/psychological issues.

[–]trpobservereats ass2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not to mention more time to establish a better foundation to bring children up in.

[–]MagicGainbowKeepin' it real, havin' a feel4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Invest it at maximum worth.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Of course, but could you elaborate?

[–]MagicGainbowKeepin' it real, havin' a feel8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Want a husband/family? Invest now, don't whore around or put it off.

Want a career? Leverage looks to get it now, again, don't put it off.

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Want a career? Leverage looks to get it now, again, don't put it off.

Don't encourage people to use superficial qualities to sneak their way into jobs they don't deserve or haven't earned.

[–]dopaff points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

My body, My choices

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, your choice to be a liar and a thief. Real cool.

[–]dopaff points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Who's to judge me? God?

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Embrace their youth and the freedom of modern society. Find something you're passionate about and do that. Try to avoid socially media and other people's expectations of what you should be doing (like this thread).

This is universal advice, women included.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Joked, your advice IS social media/consumer society advice

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So very contrarian. You disagree?

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Have sex with me, obviously.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

slow clap

[–]Electra_CuteChristian, Flat Earther, Anti-Vaxxer, Astrologer8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Anything they choose to do.

[–]RockinSocksII25F poiple INTP - Not single, Eastuss needs to know this2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Get a college degree and a good job. Men are unreliable to be their sole support.

[–]rreliable3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Enjoy sexual play with men near their own attractiveness level, while taking very great care to prevent disease and pregnancy.

I'm pretty sure women are fucking up the best time of their lives being prudes. And yes, it's much more women's fault than men. The men are right there, ready and willing to have mutual fun.

[–]LyaninaBlue Pill5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Maybe those "prudes" don't have the same definition of fun as you do...

[–]rreliable0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Everything's possible, I guess.

If a female bonobo could speak to a woman, I'm confident she'd say the same.

[–]LyaninaBlue Pill1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes, women should definitely take advice from men... and bonobos.

[–]rreliable0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You think human women are more sexually happy than female bonobos?

[–]LyaninaBlue Pill1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think what makes a human woman sexually happy is not the same thing as what makes a female bonobo sexually "happy."

[–]trpobservereats ass2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Enjoy sexual play with men near their own attractiveness level, while taking very great care to prevent disease and pregnancy.

I don't think they really want to do this.

[–]rreliable0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

And neckbeards don't want to put the controller down, stop guzzling mountain dew or lift.

And because the don't want to do any of those things, they don't. And because they don't do those necessary things, they become miserable obese incels.

[–]trpobservereats ass1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand your comparison. Girls not wanting to fuck tons of hot dudes isn't really the same as guys not wanting to stop playing video games. Girls are happier in relationships, which is what most of them do. Guys are fundamentally unhappy when they are addicted to video games and sugar.

[–]LittleknownfactsVaguely Uncivil Comment8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

Find the highest quality guy they can get, hold on to him for dear life.

[–]IckyStickyPoo4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

What if he has a lot of assets/money before he meets her and sews it up in a prenup. Ten years into the marriage, he starts cheating. They have a huge mortgage, and she leaves the marriage with very little money, and kids to care for. She's now 35, with no career or business to fall back on. She starts working two dead-end jobs, drinking at night, knowing her best years are behind her, and she wasted it all on a man who is now chasing 25 year olds for sex.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like the plot to a shitty romcom, just add that in the end a Prince Charming comes along to save her and they live happily ever after.

[–]madude20160 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe it's you on a white horse.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah I've already done all the white and the horse.

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah unfortunately it happens in real life. I've seen it happen but without the prenup. He got to keep his pre-marriage assets by law (in my country).

[–]LittleknownfactsVaguely Uncivil Comment1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

None of what I said precludes her from working, studying, or learning life skills.

[–]IckyStickyPoo1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't the highest quality men only marry when they are ready to start a family?

A bit hard for her to work, study etc when pregnant and raising kids. of course she can learn 'life skills' but she's behind the 8 ball in terms of a future career.

[–]LittleknownfactsVaguely Uncivil Comment2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't the highest quality men only marry when they are ready to start a family?

Probably, but they will most likely only marry a woman they have been dating for a while.

A bit hard for her to work, study etc when pregnant and raising kids. of course she can learn 'life skills' but she's behind the 8 ball in terms of a future career.

Not all high quality men want kids, not all of them want kids right away, not all of them want women who will be SAHM, not all of them care either way, and many of them are willing to support the woman no matter which path she chooses.

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The way the red pill talks about high quality men, they say the only reason to get married is if you want kids. And that a high quality man will play the field until he's ready to settle down and start a family. So I was going by that.

[–]LittleknownfactsVaguely Uncivil Comment1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

A high quality man is only how the choosing woman decides he is.

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. That sounds 100% blue pill and I'm glad to know it's RPW's stance too. TRP won't have it that the woman has any conscious choice. It's only her lizard brain responding to his alpha game and money.

[–]mrcs84usnFatty Fat Neck Beard3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Hopefully during that 10 years of marriage, she has learned a thing or two from him about financial success, as well as obtaining an education/career that is actually worth a damn. In which case all is not lost. Also, if she gets stuck with the kids in the US, it's pretty likely that she will get a hefty amount of child support from this theoretical rich man.

[–]IckyStickyPoo5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Why would she have learned anything about financial success? If she's been raising kids? And how did she do college while pregnant/breastfeeding/raising small kids? If she did do college before she married, all she learned might not be worth a damn by the time she's 35, or she's changed a lot and no longer wants to work in that field.

She might not get much child support at all if he has his money all tied up in his business. And what a horrible situation to be dependent on her ex-husband for child support - that's a fixed income. His life is fine - he keeps building his career as he'd always done and he takes the kids away on expensive trips and they think Daddy is a king and mommy is just the troll with no money who makes them do their homework.

And yes, I have friends in this predicament. The ex-husbands even bring their never-ending parade of sugar-baby women around their kids when they have them on the weekends. Really disgusting. Sugar babies are popular with divorced men - it lets them pretend young women still want them. And the men think it's ok to go on 'family vacations' with these women and his own kids.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

he takes the kids away on expensive trips and they think Daddy is a king and mommy is just the troll with no money who makes them do their homework.

Lol this is a good joke, has to be because that's the complete opposite of what actually happens in reality.

[–]IckyStickyPoo1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It 100% happens in real life. I watch some of my friends' kids. The kids end up very materialistic because the dad keeps dangling expensive carrots over their heads.

[–]mrcs84usnFatty Fat Neck Beard0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Why would she have learned anything about financial success?

She can learn a lot from him if she actually takes some interest in his life, especially if you're talking about 10 years. I'm sure at least one "hey honey, I'd like to try to work from home" conversation was had.

And how did she do college while pregnant/breastfeeding/raising small kids?

I see plenty of single mothers in school. So I don't buy that for a second.

Go ahead and continue moving the goal posts. Let me guess; she's dyslexic, an amputee, and her kid has down syndrome to boot.

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Single mothers and mothers in general can do just about anything, but they are behind the 8 ball. They are generally not free to work as hard at a career as a man is.

Your last sentence was unnecessary.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

What if he has a lot of assets/money before he meets her and sews it up in a prenup.

Let me stop you right there. Don't marry a man who doesn't trust you.

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, I don't think you even need a prenup in this circumstance - not in my country anyway. No sure about the US or elsewhere. If you own things before going into a relationship, they are yours and can stay yours after a r/ship breakup.

I'm not a lawyer though, and don't know the specifics of this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Then find another way to determine if he trusts you. The advice still stands. People who can't trust you and people who will cheat you have like 99% overlap. Inability to trust you, as a result of projection, is the first sign to look for when identifying a cheater.

[–]WhiskersNTreddish purp-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like she'd have been better off tolerating the cheating tbh he probably just wanted a little variety and wasn't gonna leave her

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Most people can't tolerate cheating. Better to have an open relationship than cheat, in which she gets variety too. Most people can't deal with an open relationship though, so we're back at square one.

[–]WhiskersNTreddish purp0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean if someone was literally paying for everything I did, I think I could give them a lot of leeway

And anyway cheating secretly on the side is always an option, for $60k+ a year I think I could make it work

[–]IckyStickyPoo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a very different idea of a relationship. No leeway.

[–]rreliable2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The highest quality guy also has the highest number of other, newer, perkier, tighter options.

Just saying.

[–]LittleknownfactsVaguely Uncivil Comment4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That's fair, there's always that risk involved. The best thing to do is minimize that risk though, by getting commitment from a quality guy while you are the tightest perkiest thing is a good start.

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, this exactly.

[–]TheChemist158Non-Feminist Blue Pill Woman2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They should do whatever will give them personally the best longterm happiness. This might be building a career, finding a guy to marry, getting clean off puff crack. Different people are different and this question is just not a one size fits all thing.

[–]BPremiumMeh1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean? What you should do to make you happy now? or what would make normal men happy? What to do for best long term happiness?

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I meant to best long term happiness, sorry for not stating, I hope its not too late and the thread don't drift off.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah you should have stated that, it changes your question.

In that case my more serious answer would be get a foot on the career ladder so you're making decent money in the future. Same advice I'd give to men. It's imperative to only rely on yourself for your success and happiness, not end up dependent on a third party.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I have the same thinking as you do

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That's the best way seriously. Remember most of the answers saying to find a guy to provide for you are from men who just assume that's what all women's lives must be like. In reality everyone is out for themselves, keep yourself #1 and make sure you have a good future.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Alright! ;)

[–]BPremiumMeh1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Find a high value guy, and devote yourself to him. Oh, And stay as thin and pretty as possible, it'll help your life go so so smoothly, if youre in America.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably get a job since marriage is becoming less popular

[–]kick6 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Diversity isn't a strength.

Diversity isn't ethnic restaurants.

Conservative areas aren't synonymous with religious ones.

You want a religious area. Or at least a Western European Christian one. Sure, the people are more judgemental and exclusive, but the crime is much lower.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Ever heard of the Ku Klux Klan? I bet you'd like them.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

You're hilarious. How many more posts before you call me literally Hitler?

[–]GoldPilot(⌐■_■)1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

In fairness, some of the core tenants of the KKK are "to shield the sanctity of the home and the chastity of womanhood; to maintain white supremacy; to conserve, protect and maintain the distinctive institutions, rights, privileges, principles and ideals of a pure Americanism."

Those concepts really sync up with what you're saying.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

In fairness. Right. Because he was trying to be fair and not unthinking, need-an-insult-so-racist-will-do, leftist.

[–]GoldPilot(⌐■_■)1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey now. To be fair, you said "diversity isn't strength," and went on to say that you want a Western European Christian area.

That sounds an awful like us African Americans aren't welcome in your worldview.

Let's just be fair, here. For fairness' sake.

Hey, wait a minute, what did this weird diversion even have to do with the OP's question? Your post doesn't at all say what women in the prime of their youth ought to be doing. The OP had nothing to do with race.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like this was a reply to me.

Diversity is people and culture. Food is apart of culture but it's not the only part. I think ethic restaurants are a good thing. It's kind of like traveling the world without having to travel. I mostly eat jamican food but I also like Italian, southern, Korean food, etc.

I just feel more comfortable being in an area that is diverse (black, white, asian, etc) I like meeting people of different ethnicities.

Western Christian is fine, I just don't want an area that is too religious, like I wouldn't want my kids going to a Christian school.

It's fine that the crime is lower. My neighborhood is mostly black and I believe most people are Christian and it's low crime. I like being able to get on to a bus, train, or going to college and seeing people of different races. I have been friends with people of my own and different race.

Yeah racism maybe overstated, that's why I said I would have to research it but I would not feel comfortable living in an area where people believe I'm more likely to be a criminal because I'm black.

[–]GoldPilot(⌐■_■)3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Diversity isn't a strength.

Racial mixing makes for stronger children, from what I've read.

Diversity isn't ethnic restaurants.

I love Thai places.

I think the racism is probably overstated.

When you go out of your way to exclude other races, racism tends to be understated.

[–]Wandos7naproxen sodium2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Would your reply change if OP wasn't white? Just asking.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

What you don't need is several 65" TVs, an AMG Mercedes, a new iphone every year, and all the other trappings of modern society we've come to expect. Those are the types of trivialities one might have to forgo to have kids on $45k a year.

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah we all really only need just one 65" tv

[–]trpobservereats ass0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

All you need is one good PC monitor

[–]Entropy-7Old Goat1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They should build skills and find a quality man.

[–]Centurion531 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

You should study, get a good career AND party like there is no tomorrow and try fun shit. Youre just going to sleep a little less, but its all good, its for your future. Also unlike what a lot of RPers say, high quality men look for women that are at their level.

[–]windyhorse1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They need to be learning about themselves and what makes them happy, fast. They need to decide whether they have discovered a skill/passion that can translate into a career they want to focus on or whether they would prefer to raise children, or some kind of balance between the two. The important thing is "know thyself" - this is the most important piece of knowledge they should be developing because it will help guide all of their decisions.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sex and drugs. That's what youth is for.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

/r/ppdPersonalAdvice

[–]ClarityofDisasterPerson Going Their Own Way0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Whatever will bring them the most short and long term happiness.

[–]GoldPilot(⌐■_■)0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Whatever they feel comfortable doing. I live in a free country, and I'm a man, so it's not really my place to say.

[–]fetchyminx0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They should focus on their career

[–]InformalCriticismProbably Red0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're talking about with your sexuality, I would say just try to be honest with yourself and figure out what you want from men. And by that I mean, do you want a man to take care of you, or do you want to burn hot and get the tread worn off your tires by a bunch of different drivers? A lot of girls try to do both, and that's just not wise, especially if you think you want a family.

[–]FishLauncher0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nurture their career and aspirations, develop their talents, and become the ultimate Byronic hero.

[–]HoxHoundEfilist0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

Biological, the peak of your youth is the best time to have babies. This option leads to maximum happiness later in life since the whole pont of life is reproduction.

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Not nowadays, it is not encouraged to reproduce at the ripe age of 18.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Not 18, but 20-23. btw pretty sure that's about how it's been for most of human civilized history (child brides being a weird aristocracy thing).

[–]speltspelt1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Average human generation length throughout history was 26-30

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

This may very well not contradict me, since it's about the age when women would start having children, that would also be be consistently lower than the age at which men would start having children...

[–]HoxHoundEfilist0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

When did 18 become the peak of youth?

[–]victxriaroseNeutral Baby Girl[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Everybody's definition is different, I am assuming you rate it younger.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It is for women. It's actually even sooner, like 15-16. Women's eggs never replenish, so younger women have much more.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Most eggs does not = peak fertility.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

You're absolutely right. You're encouraged to waste your prime reproductive years being a career and consumer whore for the benefit of the elite, and then with those last few eggs...have yourself a downsy little kid.

Wonderful plan. We should totally listen to that encouragement.

[–]Butt-Factory2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Older women statistically make better, happier parents and their children are statistically more successful than kids born to young mothers.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

They statistically have higher infertility rates, miscarriages, and birth defects too.

You want to play with those dice?

[–]Butt-Factory2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

More beneficial to society and the individual to have a miscarriage followed by a healthy kid than no miscarriage and a fucked up kid.

Miscarriage is incredibly common among all age groups.

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

LOL. Now you want to throw in what's "beneficial to society?" That's rich...

[–]Butt-Factory1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Uh, ya. As a member of society, I would prefer that people wait until they're mature and established to have kids. Do you like paying for other people's children?

[–]kick6Red Pill Man0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm paying for them either way.

But that's not the laughable part, the laughable part is where you start with a reasonable argument claiming statistics, and then take a swerving left to shitsville and start talking about "beneficial for society." Something so fucking subjective we could spend the rest of forever debating what is actually beneficial. Was your statistics talk just a smoke show to lend weight to your main argument that was complete bullshit? Seems that way.

[–]Butt-Factory0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

But that's not the laughable part, the laughable part is where you start with a reasonable argument claiming statistics, and then take a swerving left to shitsville and start talking about "beneficial for society."

This may be surprising to you, but benefit to society is often measurable by statistics. Amazing, right?

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/03/170321110352.htm

Something so fucking subjective we could spend the rest of forever debating what is actually beneficial.

Stats aren't subjective. Stats are the opposite of subjective

Was your statistics talk just a smoke show to lend weight to your main argument that was complete bullshit? Seems that way.

These aren't my statistics, these are well reviewed scientific surveys. Unlike you, I don't form opinions on realities of the world based on my feelings. I rely on facts and data. You feel like women should have babies super young, because that's what makes your boner happy.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/older-women-make-better-mothers-plzcbd89t36

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

have babies

maximum happiness later in life

Yeah about that...

[–]pinkgoldrose2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not true. Women who have children later in life are better off, happier, healthier longer. Children are also better off, happier, healthier, smarter, better cared for.

[–]trpobservereats ass1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

the whole pont of life is reproduction

No, it isn't. Anybody who claims to know the true point of life is a liar and/or a swindler.

[–]HoxHoundEfilist0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Everything we do in life is towards maximizing reproductive success. This is true for all other animals too. I'm sorry if you're religious and believe in a 'higher calling.' This is fact, rejecting this means rejecting modern science.

[–]trpobservereats ass1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything we do in life is towards maximizing reproductive success

Your biological utility and your purpose are two completely different things. You have not filled the logical gap between "we are biologically driven to spread our genes" and "spreading our genes is our purpose"

This is fact, rejecting this means rejecting modern science.

No. Science tells us nothing about what a person's purpose should be. It tells us why we have our drives for food, for sex, for companionship, etc. It does not tell us that it is our "purpose". That is a completely different topic, with no objective answer. Purpose is entering prescriptive territory, science is descriptive.

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