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VelvetKnuckleduster · 2020-11-26T05:28:57+00:00

[deleted]

MonicaLSolis · 2020-11-26T04:24:19+00:00

No two people should be forced to be together for the sake of tradition. That's when women can be victims of spousal abuse and femicide

boredbitch2020 · 2020-11-26T09:04:30+00:00

People that dont want to understand cant fathom how a bank account enters into it

CloacaDiddler · 2020-11-26T08:20:13+00:00

How incredibly ignorant and hurtful to not acknowledge the intense pain and suffering so many of those “perfect marriages” hid under the surface.

Even in a textbook great marriage like my parents - neither one cheated or was getting beat, they always did well enough with money, all the kids were smart and polite, no major concerns like that...my mom still said how much she wished she could have lived a life herself. Dropped out of college at 20 to be an eternal baby factory. By the time all the kids were grown up enough and she tried to get a job, it was hard to find anywhere that would hire an uneducated, older woman with no work history. She had a passion for biology, was incredibly well written, and who knows what her life could have been like if religion and the times hadn’t told her her one option was to be at home, invisible, and raising men that could change the world and women who could raise new men to change the world. Just think it’s incredibly unfair that my dad never had to drop out of college to have a family and could work, travel, do pretty much what he pleased while his wife was either sick and pregnant, recovering from a back surgery because of said pregnancy, or stapled down with half a dozen kids. So even in a “good” marriage that stayed together, the woman may not have been truly happy and may have missed out on so much better. It’s wonderful to imagine the things women can do when they’re given a choice and agency.

veruscka · 2020-11-26T05:09:53+00:00

Some laws changed and women became more economically empowered, but marriage was never great. It was just easier to hide things like cheating and abuse.

_fuyumi · 2020-11-26T06:42:26+00:00

That's a really good thread. A lot of people open up about how their relatives' abusive husbands mysteriously died, all before the 1960s, some as early as the late 1800s. They were something of family legends.

ETA someone also posted stats about no-fault divorce correlating with a decline in female suicides, and the presence of battered women shelters correlating with increased divorce rates.

poodlestrudledoodle · 2020-11-26T06:16:01+00:00

I commented on another post, but this is why I HATED “Modern Romance” by Anziz Ansari— it essentially boiled down to “there’s too much choice nowadays, things were better in old, traditional marriages.” But he was oblivious to the fact that mayyyyyyybe the reason why these marriages lasted (keyword: lasted, NOT worked) was because it was impossible for a woman to leave.

wibble69 · 2020-11-26T12:18:20+00:00

My parents' divorce was the best thing ever. Marriages ending is not a bad thing, not if it was a shit marriage. Divorce should not be viewed as a tragedy. It felt like one at the time, but ultimately it was a good thing.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-11-26T05:02:51+00:00

Had a debate with someone regarding this a few weeks ago. He called me stupid for still thinking things from the past impact our future. Then he expected me to visit him in his hometown later on in the week, since he "paid for this expensive date". That expensive date being "60 bucks". I waited to I left the date (to avoid verbal/physical accosting) and blockt him as soon as I could.....

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-11-26T14:06:50+00:00

I remember lecturers at college talking about how if women went to the police about their husbands beating them the police would TELL their husbands then send them back home and were surprised that they got beat again. This really shocked me but I’m pretty sure that still happens.

AotearoaCanuck · 2020-11-26T15:11:46+00:00

[deleted]

Partypuppers · 2020-11-26T12:18:39+00:00

I think sometimes when we get frustrated at the slow pace of progress on women's rights, we have to remember that it wasn't that long ago that a woman couldn't open up a bank account without requiring consent from her husband. A woman I know (in her 60s) had this experience and told me about it.

As a younger person (in my late 20s), I always had the impression that feminism had been around for ages, and the modern interpretation of feminism (where we're meant to get equal pay, can get a divorce, can partake in official institutions without needing a man present etc.) had also been a semi-permanent reality for several generations of women.

However, the truth is that feminism is still such a new social movement in the context of human history. It's a blip on the timescale, only spanning about 170 years (from when the 1st wave started). That's only two or three generations! That's your mother, your grandmother and your great-grandmother. Hardly ancient history at all!

We, as women, have achieved a lot in this timescale and I'm proud of us and our female ancestors. It's easy to lose faith when so much terrible oppression and entitlement is still present in our lived realities, and every day it seems like the world becomes a more fragile place, with women's rights on the chopping blocks of government agendas.

However, let's not forget to give ourselves credit where credit is due either. Only recently we had the Women's March (in 2017) where 7 million women stood up for women's rights around the world; we have many more female world leaders in the world (who are actually being praised at their jobs!); we've had the first African American First Lady; we've had the first POC female Vice President; we've had the #MeToo movement and so many other countless example.

I honestly believe that through years of adversity, women have really learned to be resilient, hard working and efficient and I feel like this is being reflected in the swift progress of feminism. Sure, not everyone agrees on every definition or strategy when it comes to feminism, but the overall message, that women should be equal to men, is now firmly implanted in the public consciousness, whether individuals choose to agree with it or not.

Of course, most of what I have mentioned here has pertained to Western women and the Western history of feminism. I believe that if you're a woman of privilege (whether you're in the West or not), it is our duty to help women around the world where we can, in an extended sisterhood of support, if you will.

Please consider donating to domestic abuse shelters, or organisations like The Circle (a charity set up by Annie Lennox in aid of global feminism). I donate £5 every month to two different charities. I'm a working class woman and this felt like a lot to me at first, but then I realised that I could help other people for the price of 2-3 coffees. It really put things in perspective when I started thinking like that and realised that I was helping women who had been raped or seeking shelter from domestic violence.

Anyway, I'm so proud of all the women on here. Keep fighting the good fight ♥️❤️✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

PeachPitiless · 2020-11-26T12:08:05+00:00

Yeah my grandparent's marriage lasted til death but they hated each other. No thank you.

TheOGJammies · 2020-11-26T14:40:12+00:00

Because marriages were based on female subservience

sunologie · 2020-11-26T06:10:06+00:00

this is crazy and scary to think about— I don’t think the toxicity and abuse women have under gone is talked about enough. there was really a time we had no rights and it wasn’t too long ago, my great grandma who is still alive had my grandma in the 70s. to a man 5 years older when she was 16!! met him at 14.

CorporalWotjek · 2020-11-26T13:31:13+00:00

The global fight isn’t over yet 🙂 women in Afghanistan only just won the right to have their names allowed on the birth certificates of their children, and the Philippines still prohibit divorce.

FlappyMcBeakbag · 2020-11-26T06:59:25+00:00

And today there are still many women in less secure /lucrative careers that rely on a husband’s job for their own health insurance. That’s wild to me that if a someone had an underlying health condition they might risk staying in an terrible and potentially abusive relationship for the health benefits. Universal healthcare will help free this segment of the population.

jenneke-gotenberg · 2020-11-26T06:42:08+00:00

My dad had to sign off on mum's tubal ligation c1976.

Wiggy_Bop · 2020-11-26T14:17:37+00:00

My mother worked for Sears and couldn’t get a CC in her name in the 1970s.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-11-26T16:36:42+00:00

It’s usually men saying that stupid shit. Notice how when things are good for them they think everyone should be happy too.

Fitncurly · 2020-11-26T18:14:07+00:00

There should be a horror series depicting the lives of everyday women around the world in the past...shit would be stomach churning and traumatic. All the child brides, the r*pe, the dying in childbirth after the fact, the beatings, the terrible husbands—my Goddess I’m so glad I was born here and now to have the rights to walk away. Our foremothers sacrificed so much ☹️.

libralia · 2020-11-26T14:59:18+00:00

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 rip Rbg ❤️

anotherdamnloser · 2020-11-26T17:44:40+00:00

The shit my grandmother and mother put up with... my other grandma left my grandpa thankfully but damn. I’m so glad things are different, we don’t feel like we have to marry and have babies before we’re 23. My grandmas did, they were born in the 1920’s.

breadandbunny · 2020-11-26T23:34:51+00:00

Was it really after the 70s? I shouldn't be surprised anymore. That's extremely fucked up and why I HATE people who always jump to "men are the ones who get screwed over in divorces!" Fucking think!

OpenCelebration3 · 2020-11-27T03:11:56+00:00

I jUsT wAnNa HaVe A cOnVeRsAtIoN 🙄🙄🙄

Title	X post from r/whitepeopletwitter
Author	AotearoaCanuck
Upvotes	2166
Comments	69
Date	November 26, 2020 4:13 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k183qq/x_post_from_rwhitepeopletwitter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/x-post-from-rwhitepeopletwitter.330861 https://theredarchive.com/post/330861

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