Ugh. How do you avoid people like this who keep you as an option? Audacity is all he has. His poor girl

FabledAngryVillager · 2020-12-07T01:48:36+00:00

Man, I'd screenshot that and send it to his gf

What a piece of shit

ReadinIt17 · 2020-12-07T01:58:22+00:00

Hey, real quick: you wanna take me back or shall I go ahead with safety net? 😑

_xyoungbellax_ · 2020-12-07T02:04:27+00:00

[deleted]

dollymyfolly · 2020-12-07T02:32:40+00:00

Nah, he just wants a final hookup. I think he’s gonna propose to her, he just wants to see if he can get some action. He’s lying to both of them.

JustMe2008 · 2020-12-07T01:59:03+00:00

🤯

Did I just read that correctly? I had to pick up my jaw off the floor. They (that woman on the chain and the current gf) need to run, block, and delete! This dude is not serious about his current gf and needs to be by himself. That's some nerve!

riricide · 2020-12-07T04:13:00+00:00

An ex I had gone NC with for the last 7 years got my number from somewhere and contacted me, only to insinuate sex after a couple of generic messages. This was comical for several reasons, the way he tried to bring up casual sex to a practical stranger, the fact that I'd moved halfway across the planet for several years at this point, and his anger when I pointed out that he was too unattractive for me to not consider it a joke. Turns out this asshole had gotten married less than a month ago 🤮

You avoid people like this by avoiding men who don't reciprocate or put in effort. Even so there are some real psychopaths with double lives so it's never a guarantee.

daisyinflux · 2020-12-07T02:27:40+00:00

Wow. This is not unrealistic.

An ex that left me seven years ago reached out to me last year to ask me if I would mother his children because his wife had so many miscarriages and it was unlikely that she would be able to get pregnant. Not joking. He left me right after we completed an abortion. I love seeing karma in action.

By the way, he locked all of her social media stuff so I have no way of finding her, but I wanted to.

flowers4u · 2020-12-07T02:27:32+00:00

[deleted]

Shoddy_Glam · 2020-12-07T03:17:45+00:00

For a minute, imagine the wonderfulness of the man you love asking you to marry him... and then finding out he did this, right before he did that.

TexiMcCrae · 2020-12-07T03:29:27+00:00

Happens all the time... I have a man that’s steadily paying me money back because I loaned him money when I thought we were dating. Little does he know that when he pays my money back, I’m telling her everything. Her as in his fiancé. 🥴

yesmme · 2020-12-07T03:04:37+00:00

You also get a preview of this in your younger, not so marriageable days, and most definitely non FDS days. When you had something casual with a scrote and he comes back out of nowhere and asks you if you want to hook up because he’s about to get a girlfriend.

This is exactly the reason why men need therapy. All of them. They’re so fucking needy and can’t be alone and single without losing their shit.

aquarieux · 2020-12-07T05:43:30+00:00

That's so disgusting, but I would say that it's not at all rare or uncommon.

I had a male coworker who I hadn't talked to in years call me out of NOWHERE one day. We had never talked on the phone, ever. We had hung out a few times when we worked together, we flirted a little, but we were never a thing by any stretch of the imagination. But on this random day, this guy also kept texting me, trying to start a conversation. I never replied because I thought it was strange. A few weeks later I saw that the day he flooded my phone was the day before he proposed to his now wife.

Since I never replied or picked up his call, I don't know his true intentions, but when I asked a male friend about it sometime later, he said the guy was trying to see if he could get with me one last time before getting engaged and married. I'll never know the actual truth, but I don't believe he called and tried to talk with me because he wanted to tell me the good news of him getting engaged.

CloacaDiddler · 2020-12-07T07:42:22+00:00

Imagine how easy it would be for the gf to be totally unaware of this. He proposes to her, she’s happy and has no idea he was going down his contacts trying to find something better. But eventually, he’ll probably bump into a hottie at work and after a few more months of hiding that, she’ll find a little hole in his story, spend a few more months being told she’s paranoid and crazy and delusional and should just settle down, but she doesn’t let go of her gut feeling and finds out he’s cheating. At this point, maybe she was lulled into false sense of security and has a kid with him. Or not, either way she’ll probably divorce him and incels will leap on to “look at all these women out here initiating divorces and trying to steal poor men’s money and lives, now she’s yet another used up feeeeemale that nobody wants because she had her fun and is the scourge of society, single mothers ruin the world, everything is her fault why didn’t she just know ahead of time that he was going to cheat? That’s right because she wanted him to, feeeeemales only want bad boys, she purposely chose him hoping for the future where he cheats, she divorces him (and ends up losing money prob) and then sacrifices a lot to raise her child by herself. Probably going to go trap other sweet innocent men into her horrible ways and the cycle will keep spinning, women getting married, having kids, and divorcing and it’s all because of how bad women are. We need to bring back forced marriages where women CANT leave and everyone stays as ONE family...yknow while the guy still cheats on the side”

Never, ever, do men’s commonly disgusting behaviors come up. They have no responsibility for their actions. They spin elaborate stories to make it all women’s fault somehow instead of consider that maybe, just maybe men are at fault too. But no, they must be entirely blameless and harmless and yanked along by the chain of tyranny women run this world with. Granted, women should try hard to vet, but even with best efforts, because of common male shittiness, there is a better than good chance that he will eventually end up being a douchebag in some way and you’ll probably be better without him. Women actively pursuing happiness and having standards/boundaries that don’t settle is apparently more unacceptable than men just refusing to act right.

VigorousBeanFlicking · 2020-12-07T10:41:29+00:00

Anytime a man says he’s got a question or wants to know something, just go ahead and block him. It’s always something stupid about to come out.

Mella_20 · 2020-12-07T02:51:11+00:00

I've had this happen 5 times. I was never actually interested, but was either young and polite, or it was with exes, so I don't think I ever responded well. Honestly it's given me trust issues and I'm forever doubting anyone who dates me because I've seen things like this happen so much. It's heartbreaking.

jjlew922 · 2020-12-07T02:38:09+00:00

Wow! They takes some balls. Some men have delusional thoughts even if it’s been over a long time ago. Be thankful we walked away from that narcissist. I wrote about that on Quora “the victim a narcissist never forgets” 😅

Kind_Entertainment_6 · 2020-12-07T02:28:40+00:00

What did I just read??? 🥴

CatullusKitten · 2020-12-07T09:06:13+00:00

Ugh I have an ex like this. It’s been 4 years and he still messages me a couple of times a week at least to check I’m still not interested. I haven’t blocked him because whenever I do he freaks out and will call my number from someone else’s phone or something. So I just have him on mute and let him scream into the void 🙃 he also has a serious gf who he’s been living with for like 3 years

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-12-07T10:23:37+00:00

This exists. For those of you who think this is fake or a very rare situation, this exists!

Guy from OLD: "I found a gf but can I please have your number just in case things don't work out with her?" The answer should always be: no.

And not just because it happened to me but because their MO is to not even tell you that you are the side chick, the plan B or the "other option".

I swear, vetting is extremely important but what makes me lose a bit of faith in humanity is the fact that at times you kind of... have to be a bit psychic. Be attuned to your gut feeling, know some relationship psychology and have well established boundaries - sure, the basics, but what if the guy is such a good liar/actor? Only time will tell. And theses types never pass the test of time!

Sometimes, their stupidity/audacity to just ask for this is our cue that said man is bad news. Don't feel insulted by it. It's not about you, it's about them.

The more insidious men use lies and deception. They know their proposition will be met with a big NO and that the woman (in this case the plan B) will refuse to be part of this, so they lie that they are single to get what they want: sex, attention, validation.

Remember, you have no obligation to validate and give attention or sex to a man; also your trust is not something you just give, it's something to be earned and a good man would not accept anyonr with less standards than he has.

This thing that he propositioned this to her does his lack of respect for himself, for the plan A and also for the plan B. When you have no self respect and have low self esteem (covert narcissism, possibly), then you are also unable to respect other people's boundaries.

This person's words mean very little, also, they are unreliable and they will always ditch a person for what they consider to be greener pastures.

Their accountability= zero, their moral compass= need up, their respect for other people= non existent, their self respect= not there. So he's not worth it.

manystorms · 2020-12-07T06:42:27+00:00

In all these screenshots, y’all are always significantly more well spoken than the sender

SpaceC4se · 2020-12-07T09:15:45+00:00

This messed me up just reading it because I was in similar situation. I'm not even sure which of the women I was, but doesn't matter because either way you're an option, not a priority. I don't envy this girl who is now my ex's gf, I pity her really.

She was rejected so many times while he was still with me, it was only when I told him to choose between us (I let it go on too long because I thought they were genuinely just friends) that he straight out picked me, only to break up with me a year later and try his luck with her. AND SHE WAS THERE TO RECEIVE HIM WITH OPEN ARMS. Wtf. I had to get so much therapy after the whole ordeal, I thought I was going insane.

nodaynodawn · 2020-12-07T10:11:26+00:00

Oh god I had the same thing happen to me. Not an ex but a coworker asked if we could talk after work. I figured he needed an ear to air some work troubles and was so shocked when instead he said pretty much the same thing as above: I’m planning to propose to my girlfriend, but if you want to try dating.....

I was so shocked and all I could say was I’m flattered, but no. If I hadn’t been alone in a car with him I may have been bolder.

Anyway, he married her and they have a few kids now.

MiaWallace995 · 2020-12-07T12:11:29+00:00

Reminds me of an ex-collegue who proposed for marriage because he didn't want an 'arranged marriage with someone he doesn't know' (eventually he did have the arranged marriage). I'm not your ticket to get out of an arranged marriage you pathetic loser.

trudith · 2020-12-07T04:16:22+00:00

[That sex] is straight fucking disgusting.

owlette26 · 2020-12-07T06:28:10+00:00

I feel so sorry for his girl right now. The audacity of that Man 😱

0tterpop · 2020-12-07T16:21:19+00:00

I had a man do this to me two weeks before his wedding when I was already married with a 4-month-old baby. Why are men?

TheGhostProofBlanket · 2020-12-07T17:10:43+00:00

Men: "women always get married just to divorce rape men out of their money!"

Men:

Novemberinthechair · 2020-12-07T04:01:58+00:00

Whoa. Dude. Fucking ask your bros about that shit. What the hell is the matter with him?

justic3bon3r · 2020-12-07T06:20:50+00:00

Tell the girlfriend. I’ll help.

Singngkiltmygrandma · 2020-12-07T07:12:13+00:00

Unbefuckinglievable.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-12-07T13:46:12+00:00

Fun fact: he thinks he's being smooth and romantic

DonDove · 2020-12-07T07:20:19+00:00

R U N

jupiter_sunstone · 2020-12-07T13:17:21+00:00

Screenshot it and find his girlfriend and send it to her. Then block the both of them.

PinkestMango · 2020-12-07T14:00:32+00:00

Send this to her immediately

MissCandid · 2020-12-07T14:42:27+00:00

SEND IT TO HER!! I wanna see this justice, man.

LuciannaVamp · 2020-12-07T19:19:18+00:00

Lol! Hes just covering all his bases just in case things all go to hell. 🤣

SpaceC4se · 2020-12-07T06:59:08+00:00

I would tell his gf. She deserves to know she’s second love for this asshole.

fulltwistinglayout · 2020-12-07T08:00:34+00:00

this is a disgrasce

deranged_berserker · 2020-12-07T11:27:35+00:00

This is pure dog shit in the eyes!

Waste-Win · 2020-12-07T15:16:03+00:00

Why would he even date someone else if he's still in love with someone else, wtf.

ashwheee · 2020-12-07T22:29:53+00:00

This situation just happened to me. I went on a couple dates with a guy then out of nowhere he deletes/blocks me and ended up proposing to his GF. He went on dates because he was not sure he wanted to propose to her or not. I was a test for his own emotions.

kinda-embarrasing · 2020-12-07T11:39:37+00:00

TELL HER

WinterMidst · 2020-12-07T13:13:47+00:00

I can’t believe this actually happened. Lol. This is so messed up. I’m shook. How utterly disgusting.

BaffledBazaar · 2020-12-07T21:22:08+00:00

This scares me 😨

Title	Ugh. How do you avoid people like this who keep you as an option? Audacity is all he has. His poor girl
Author	Mella_20
Upvotes	1818
Comments	116
Date	December 7, 2020 1:44 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k86ymd/ugh_how_do_you_avoid_people_like_this_who_keep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ugh-how-do-you-avoid-people-like-this-who-keep-you.627055 https://theredarchive.com/post/627055

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