Q4W: How Many of You Want To Marry and What Does Marriage Mean To You?

XtoDoubt · 2020-04-30T02:36:35+00:00

[deleted]

dazzlincabbage · 2020-04-30T03:30:02+00:00

I want to marry (monogamously) for lifelong love, partnership, & the work those things require. I'm a simple cabbage. 🤷‍♀️

death_by_1000_cats · 2020-04-30T02:58:19+00:00

I am married. I wanted to get married because I wanted legitimate children and a mate who was legally my family. Marriage means family to me. It also means I'm part of one of the oldest human traditions. It means legitimacy and adulthood in the eyes of my family. It means a lot of things.

SaBahRub · 2020-04-30T02:31:37+00:00

I’ll marry if I find someone I want to have kids with

philomexa · 2020-04-30T06:07:28+00:00

Marriage was always expected of me, but I never cared that much about it, frankly I envisioned myself as a lone cat lady. Then I met my husband and my ideas of romance, love, monogamy, and desire drastically shifted.

We spent a month in bed together, drunk and high, when he suggested we elope. I said yes which is absolutely out of character for me. I figured I'd give it shot since I was literally young, dumb, and full of cum. Plus it had an air of rebellion against my fairly strict tradcon immigrant parents. Sex, drugs, defiance, and vows for eternity; it was all very romantic and had a Lana Del Rey aesthetic.

Anyway 15 years later and it's still the best dumbest decision I've ever made. I'm a total stan for marriage and my tradcon wife programming was activated like a manchurian canidate.

Marriage is for raising a family, solidifying the economic unit, and wealth/value transfer to our offspring. Passion, humor, and companionship love make the ugly parts of the economic unit more palatable.

LittyKitsune · 2020-04-30T02:53:13+00:00

I want to!

What Does Marriage Mean To You?

Public agreement to have sex, raise kids together, and not have sex with other people

mangolover97 · 2020-04-30T03:40:37+00:00

I’m on the fence about it. If I decide I want to have bio kids I’ll try and get married because I’d want my kids to have a good committed father that wants them and loves them, you also get to become family and live with the love of your life, there’s tax benefits and some other legal benefit.

On the flip side though it’s scary to me how people can go from loving each other deeply to hating each other even more. If I do get married I’d try to model what I saw from long term happily married couples so I don’t end up like the miserable or divorced ones I know.

teibe · 2020-04-30T02:39:18+00:00

I dont actually care about a wedding, ring, or even the piece of paper, but I would just like to call the man I am with my husband instead of a boyfriend.

NarniaFox · 2020-04-30T02:44:22+00:00

I'd say that 60-70% of women I know either are married or plan to get married.

I got married 2 years ago. It's a legal act, that eases a lot of paper work and also in Russia gives a chance to get information about your spouse if they get into intensive care. Marriage itself also is a traditional way to confirm your commitment to each other. It showes that you have common plans and want to spend quite a long time together. For me it also means that we've discussed our future and conditions of what we see as marriage and decided that it would work for us.

Barneysparky · 2020-04-30T02:25:51+00:00

I've been married for 20 years. He's my person, truly the other half of myself.

deadsandsushi2 · 2020-04-30T03:02:19+00:00

I do NOT want to marry. I can't think of one benefit I'd get from marriage.

Marriage is just legal stamping on your commitment along with a host of potential issues.

I am more than content to be the "forever girlfriend" with the abundance mentality and option to leave if I'm unhappy.

Mimoxs · 2020-04-30T02:35:35+00:00

It's nice in concept but not very practical.

It would definitely mean having to have an extreme trust in someone, so it would have to mean they have done a lot to earn trust

yasee · 2020-04-30T03:21:26+00:00

it was never a goal of mine but I am married now and I like it. It feels solid and permanent in a way that just being boyfriend and girlfriend didn't

Lacuna-Foil · 2020-04-30T03:30:30+00:00

I don't.

I take the concept of marriage very seriously and if I were to get married, I'd want it to be a one and done deal. I don't see that happening, so I haven't bothered with marriage. (TBF I don't bother with dating either, looking forward to that cat lady life.) I'm not anti-divorce, it's just a personal thing.

To me marriage is a promise. The world's a dark, shitty place- love means never having to go it alone. It's a promise for balance, support, most of the stuff you hear in most basic modern wedding vows. Marriage and the martial home is supposed to be refuge against a world that, at it's best, is indifferent to you and your hopes, dreams, and fears.

intersIn · 2020-04-30T03:30:24+00:00

Wasn't a goal of mine. Honestly thought I would never do it -bit of a commitment phobe, plus I heard a lot of women tell me how much happier they were after their divorce vs being married. Plus it sounded very boring. I did get married though to an amazing guy. Never say never.

2020-04-30T06:48:29+00:00

I'm going to get married soon.

It means partnership - emotional & economic, family, and legitimacy. It means being able to define your relationship in terms other UMC people will respect.

I would have never wanted to marry a man who "is against marriage" (or date or fuck them). That attitude tells me everything about how they perceive women and relationships without them sharing anything else.

2020-04-30T07:16:21+00:00

I wouldn’t have kids with someone without being married to them, so marriage means family

whatisfunemployment · 2020-04-30T02:36:17+00:00

I want to get married. For the warm fuzzies, sharing and building a life together, to have a family. It's an emotional, physical, and, yes, legal commitment to be together. It means we have shared goals, values, and hopes.

Harriett- · 2020-04-30T03:49:34+00:00

• I don’t like dating world, it’s stressful for introverts so I want a good, attractive guy and marry him as soon as possible, so I can focus on my job and hobbies.

• Marriage is better because it makes the relationship solid, it brings a structure, couple becomes more responsible etc.

• Showing excessive love and care to your boyfriend is not a good idea and it’s basically being a pickme but a husband is different. He is your family.

Reisiluu · 2020-04-30T09:21:47+00:00

Marriage is the legal and societal foundation for a family. I would not have kids without it, because they are an even bigger commitment than marriage.

I did not expect people to take our relationship more seriously after marriage because the "marriage is just a piece of paper" idea is very pervasive. Turns out it's bull shit. Maybe that is why some couples want to pretend they are married.

aspiringdruglord · 2020-04-30T03:53:54+00:00

It doesn't really mean anything to me, and its modern iteration seems pretty meaningless, generally. I'd do it for immigration for a long-distance relationship, but otherwise I see no reason to. Even if I wanted kids, I wouldn't bother. I'd rather the state stayed out of people's relationships. I'd rather everyone else did too, and feel no need for external recognition for something that seems intimate and private to me, so the whole public declaration thing does nothing for me. If we want to make promises and commitments we can make them to each other and it would mean just as much to me. Guess it would be fun to wear a ridiculously extravagant dress and have a narcissistic professional photoshoot of us both looking amazing only because I like fashion/artistic shit, but everything else about the ceremony seems like a great way to feel really uncomfortable for a day. Even just the idea of being someone's "wife" is not appealing, though this one is irrational - and this is coming from someone who has never had any interest in casual anything and has been honed in on strictly only til-death monogamous relationship or bust for my entire life. Some secular, otherwise rational guys are weirdly hung up on it as some ultimate final boss of relationship validation and I am just never going to feel that way.

I guess there additional benefits for inheritance/taxes etc. but never looked into that extensively for my country since I never thought it would apply to me. AFAIK there are other options for covering every other benefit you could get from being married re. medical decisions and such.

That said, I'd need any guy I'm in a relationship with to agree with my reasons. A lot of "don't believe in marriage" guys are just stealth anti-commitment or anti-trust-woman-ever, and that's something to screen for.

the-red_woman · 2020-04-30T04:50:05+00:00

Yes plan to get married. It means working together to make the world a better place.

2020-04-30T05:28:17+00:00

I never wanted to get married, I just wanted to be in a long term relationship. I saw marrige as a church's thing (most people I knew had catholic wedding), and I didn't want to declare my love in a place that sees women as men's tools, or says that women have to serve men.

But marrige is important to my fiance, so I will do ot for him. We will just have a humanist wedding.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-04-30T05:32:31+00:00

I am incapable of any type of commitment, don't believe monogamy is natural & have no intention to marry

Marriage to me is a business

nosynobody · 2020-04-30T06:28:35+00:00

I want marriage because legitimate children, we can pool our resources together and lead a better life, inheritance and other legal issues and most importantly I want to love and share my life with someone. With state enforced monogamy and sharing of resources.

misiepatysie · 2020-04-30T07:03:58+00:00

I want to married but I don't want any engagement rong, I don't want a wedding party or even a big wedding (my ideal is eloping with witnesses). Marriage for me is showing the world that I choose my partner over anyone, it is about security ( I have some helath issues so I'd love my partner to have a say when it comes to hard decisions). I also od not have family besides my parents who live in another country so I want to form a formal family with the men I love. I also want him to feel secure- knowing he will have the right to inherit from me (we live in my flat).

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kjosie5829 · 2020-04-30T04:05:45+00:00

I’m 20 and am married to my high school sweetheart, however, my marriage is about trusting each other and working together. We don’t take roles in our marriage, we equal each other out. Sometimes I’m emotional and he’s the stable one, sometimes he’s emotional and I’m the stable one. I like to think of us as two halves of the same coin. We compliment each other and help each other grow. Personally I don’t like having a legal document stating my marriage, it just makes taxes easier and for me to visit him in the hospital. I’m also polyamorous, but I still go back to him and always make sure he’s comfortable. I never want my partner feeling uncomfortable and I always want them to trust me.

nemma88 · 2020-04-30T09:04:22+00:00

It wasn't a goal, but it was for him so we are getting married.

It means forever.

Lazy-Actuator · 2020-04-30T09:10:36+00:00

I want to get married. Marriage to me is a way to commit to someone and have someone commit to me in a way that’s more than just saying that we want to be together for the rest of our lives. The actual wedding celebration is a way to publicly show to our friends and family that we are committed to each other on a deeper level. Marriage is very important to me and I wouldn’t be with a man who didn’t see marriage in his future.

gaylord_fag · 2020-04-30T09:18:43+00:00

I just want a guarantee we will always be together. If friendship held that kind of promise I'd be happy being FWB for forever.

LaPrimaVera · 2020-04-30T13:05:26+00:00

Marriage is a legal contract. Its ment to bind you to someone for the rest of your life, as well as having duties to him (and him to me) above and beyond that of someone your dating.

Yes I want to get married, I would not consider investing in someone if that was off the table.

eveleaf · 2020-04-30T13:27:50+00:00

I am married. It was important to him, and he was important to me, so I agreed.

I did not particularly want to get married myself, and wasn't sure I even believed in marriage as a positive thing in society. Almost every married person I know is some variation of unhappy and "stuck." But I was head over heels for the guy, and marriage was essential to him.

What I've learned is, sometimes you just get lucky. I still can't say I see the evidence that marriage is a great for everyone else, but it turns out to have been fantastic for us. Eleven years later, I still think the world of him and we are very good to each other. I'm glad I took a chance.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2020-04-30T16:07:59+00:00

I would never get married unless it's a rich Chad. Most men have nothing of value to offer me and I'm not crazy about having kids anyway. It's either a top tier male or nothing for me.

rosephase · 2020-04-30T16:47:42+00:00

I have no interest in registering my relationship with the state. I’m always shocked that so many people find the government rewarding us for living the way they want us to, romantic.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-04-30T20:27:33+00:00

Yes, one day. Years from now.

Marriage means I'm having kids with the other person and they can't bail out (easily) when they feel like it. We're both taking care of the damn rugrats and we're doing it as a team.

octocombo · 2020-04-30T22:38:55+00:00

if i decide to have kids with someone who is cool with signing a very detailed pre-nup, sure, because (at least in the USA) there are kid-related tax breaks which are only available to married couples. what does it mean to me? money from the government for satisfying my biological reproductive urges, cha-ching

this doesn't mean i'd want a wedding, those are so expensive and so much trouble to organize

Tomatoccino · 2020-05-01T03:02:11+00:00

I married because that gave my husband and I joint legal power of attorney over who pulls the plug on life support. Joint say over fruit of the union, assets and investments was important, too.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2020-05-01T12:20:09+00:00

I want to marry.

Marriage to me means continuing the strong foundation your relationship has. It means a new level of loyalty, more privileges, and friendship. It also means doing your best to build each other up and encourage each other.

mrbill1234 · 2020-05-01T12:48:30+00:00

Marriage is a lovely concept. Sadly it has become a bit too intertwined with the law, so in the end if the marriage is dissolved, there always tends to be one person who loses out more than the other.

rubbooyuri · 2020-05-01T15:54:57+00:00

You’re a marriage propagandist. Please stop. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want to get married feel pressured to do it, seriously. There’s already too many people who are married who shouldn’t be.

Think of the goddam children ok?!

witchfromthewoods · 2020-05-01T19:52:16+00:00

I want to get married To me marriage is a commitment to continue the relationship and build a life together even when things get hard its about being partners

BenedithBe · 2020-05-02T07:09:50+00:00

I do not want to get married because I don't want to sign a contract to be with someone. I do not want to get married, if I have kids, I would not get married either. I never dreamed about getting married. I don't like long white dresses. I don't particularly like marriage scenes in movies. Where I live most people don't get married anyway. I would not rely on marriage to prove my futur boyfriend how much I love him. I don't dream or believe in life long love relashionship, because today we live like 85 years old or something, and being with the same person for all those years sounds boring and unrealistic. If it last 20 years so be it, I'm not against it. As long as this person makes my life better I'll stay with the person regardless of a contract and a ceremony. I think it's more romantic not to get married. My parents never got married. I'm 20.

Title	Q4W: How Many of You Want To Marry and What Does Marriage Mean To You?
Author	IntrepidStart
Upvotes	10
Comments	70
Date	April 30, 2020 12:19 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gal7k6/q4w_how_many_of_you_want_to_marry_and_what_does/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-how-many-of-you-want-to-marry-and-what-does.658189 https://theredarchive.com/post/658189

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