Another reason not to date older men

boiledgatorade_ · 2020-03-12T20:43:21+00:00

I wish your mom gave me that lecture when I was 20 😭

Sewud · 2020-03-13T02:12:31+00:00

Men use the lowball technique. They offer way less than what they could really offer, counting on trapping naive nice girls. Truly despicable. For instance a 40-year-old might have enough money to take a girl on a real date, but he'll offer something on the level a 14-year-old might suggest just to try to get away with it. Truly low quality non-dates and the like. Then some girl will be too nice to refuse, and he's successfully lowballed the female gender.

rayne_chi · 2020-03-12T21:21:21+00:00

Ladies, please listen to this!! I’ve always dated men older than me (8-12 yrs older) to the point my friends joked that I had daddy issues. I married one of them too and had kids with him and he’s a terrible father. My last ex was 12 yrs older and so fucking jaded! This post described his mentality perfectly. He was done trying and just wanted something easy. He only took me out on a couple of dates in the 1.5 yrs we dated and the rest of the time he would just come over to my place to have sex and we’d order food which I would pay for more than half of the time 🙄 I cringe looking back at how low effort he was and how stupid I was too! After we broke up, I dated someone my age and he treated me so differently and was overall good to me. Even though we didn’t end up together, he was a sweetheart and really showed me the way I deserve to be treated. The guy I’m dating now is only 4 yrs older and is honestly the best person I’ve ever dated! He has so much enthusiasm, positivity, and passion that I’ve never seen in older men. Never again!!!

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-03-13T01:14:04+00:00

And once you turn 38 if you haven’t already, you will be so grossed out thinking about this guy being your age and trying to date 20 year old women.

TriSarahFlops · 2020-03-13T01:09:08+00:00

When I was in my early 20s, I dated a surgeon 20 years older than me. He paid my bills and “spoiled” me for over a year. When we split, I added up everything he spent on me. It wasn’t even as much as his fucking watch cost.

Davina33 · 2020-03-12T21:35:28+00:00

[deleted]

ny-lady · 2020-03-13T02:21:33+00:00

My parents taught me to stay away from older men too, any good parent does. My mom and dad taught me those older men wanted to use me for my youth, sex and groom me. They were right.

But, but, they did it in 1950 so its normal, no its not, I was taught this back in the 80's. Like my mom and dad didnt know a thing or two...

Let lone I just saw them as old as my dad, eww, why would I want a man as old as my dad at 22? Gross.

Also large age gap relationships have a Huge failure rate for a reason.

throwawayathrowaway0 · 2020-03-13T04:30:07+00:00

[deleted]

galian84 · 2020-03-13T01:42:39+00:00

Your mom was right. My parents gave me a similar talk, but I didn't listen. My oldest ex, who was 19 years older than me (I was young and naive). Probably was the worst. Gaslit and manipulated me until I finally wised up and dumped him. Always used his age as excuse to dismiss my feelings and do whatever the hell he wanted. Wanted a relationship with investing as little effort and money as possible.

My ex who was 3 years older was much better and actually tried, just too bad he was avoidant and also broke.

I have a guy now who's asking me out and actually planning a great date, with input on what I liked. And he's 5 years younger than me.

Merunit · 2020-03-13T02:36:03+00:00

This is so true! Great post.

I was dating an older guy when I was 25 and he was 50, for 3 years. Abuse started very slowly, and his mom was always gaslighting me but pretended she was on my side. Uggh.. it was a good lesson, at least.

But thinking we only have limited time in life, how many “long term” relationships could we form? Maybe 3-5. Women should stop wasting their years away on low quality relationships.

Evil_Rao · 2020-03-13T02:43:36+00:00

I dated a 28 year old when I was 17 and to this day I don't know tf my parents were thinking by not trying to intervene. My mom has very strong opinions on how women should be independent and how I should be extremely picky. Guess she didn't want to pick a fight.

FDSFemmeFatale · 2020-03-13T05:17:03+00:00

This applies even to ladies in their 40's. I just got done with a 50 something guy, and yeah...the laziness and issues he had were just crazy. He took me out on dates, but he just expected me to accept so much immaturity that I couldn't deal with it. He ended up ghosting, at his age! It just wasn't worth it.

Davina33 · 2020-03-12T22:53:32+00:00

Well said! Your mother is a wise lady. My mother never warned me about men, she never even warned me not to talk to strange men as a child. She is right, I dated an older man in my 20s. Twice divorced, cynical, jaded and a low value loser. I would never do it again. They are perverts and just taking advantage.

confusedwife29065 · 2020-03-13T03:15:46+00:00

I wish I had received that advice. I married someone much older than me and I definitely feel less respected and belittled. I'm made to feel badly for my age and life experience. Its harrowing.

TERFSareawesome · 2020-03-13T09:19:35+00:00

It's so true. There's something so beautiful about young love. I'm just past 30 now and seriously everyone becomes so much less exciting, because you've been there, done that. You just dont get butterflies in the same way. Women especially deserve to be treated like their partner is nervous and excited to see them. Don't give that up and waste your firsts on some old jaded guy who's had a million first kisses, first dates, first "should we be exclusive?" talks. Wait for a guy your age who's just as excited and happy to go through these things as you are!

dzgata · 2020-03-12T21:39:16+00:00

I usually prefer 2/3 year age gaps. I feel weird even dating someone 5-7 years older. I just do. I always find them incredibly dull and boring as well (I’m in my early twenties btw)

DecentMacaroon · 2020-03-13T07:30:13+00:00

Not to mention they're usually ugly lol

itsvkee · 2020-03-13T08:48:52+00:00

God bless your mother. I’m sure if I told my mother anything she’d probably say the same thing to me but that’s a whole other story I don’t want to talk about.

This really came at a great time for me. I was seeing this guy who was 7/8 years older than I am and I was ✨😍✨ by his maturity (now antics) and now I’m kicking myself for thinking that he was actually interested in me. Honestly I’m just so done with dating because I feel like no matter how old guys are they’re just disappointing at best.

CoolMelonade · 2020-03-13T05:27:39+00:00

Yes ladies, listen to this!!! I wrote a post on this too. Older men are BAD NEWS, NO EXCEPTIONS.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eb9cfx/dating_older_men_in_your_20s_guaranteed_trauma/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

LanternsofHekate · 2020-03-13T09:35:07+00:00

I have never liked older guys. My age or younger is my preference. Most of the older men that have been mentioned in the comments sound like narcissist too.

sarahbae03 · 2020-03-12T21:26:03+00:00

Oh man this is gold and I wish I could upvote the crap out of it. Thanks for sharing your mothers Pearl's of Wisdom.

AutoModerator · 2020-03-12T20:40:08+00:00

[1] - Please read the FDS Handbook and Wiki before commenting. Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.
[2] - Please REPORT any comments that do not follow the sub rules. If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.
[3] - This sub is FEMALE ONLY. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. So if you’ve got an XY, don’t reply. DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!! Please DOWNVOTE and REPORT immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

MonicaLSolis · 2020-03-13T02:51:42+00:00

I think either he is a good lover or a bad lover whether he is young or old typically I advise women to not date men who are significantly older than you

seraphinelysion · 2020-03-12T21:45:45+00:00

What range is considered "older" by FDS standards?

Sewud · 2020-03-12T21:04:49+00:00

Never though of it that way. I always assumed older men were better because usually they have more money.

MagnoliaMirage · 2020-03-13T05:11:51+00:00

You got a good mom 👏

ny-lady · 2020-03-13T00:21:51+00:00

[deleted]

meecy166 · 2020-03-13T07:04:34+00:00

I wish I had your mom, mine has never given me guy advice and I’m 20 smh

hivadufi · 2020-03-13T16:25:35+00:00

I wish my mother told me these things..Instead she never talked about sex/relationships or anything like that ever (I didn't know about menstruation until the age of 12-13 when teachers explained it to us in school, the weird thing is that I learned about sex earlier by accident when surfing on the internet at about 11-12)

Instead on the very rare occasions when I asked to go to my friends bday 'party' or school trips, she didn't let me because for some reason she though someone would rape me..she was very neurotic and delusional, but as I get to know more and more about how sick and cruel men can be maybe she wasn't as crazy as I thought as a child after all..

Title	Another reason not to date older men
Author	BleuRaspbery
Upvotes	441
Comments	78
Date	March 12, 2020 8:40 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fhn6js/another_reason_not_to_date_older_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/another-reason-not-to-date-older-men.680337 https://theredarchive.com/post/680337

Comments