Women of ppd, what do you assume of a socially introverted male?

87AudreyHorne · 2020-06-27T17:54:34+00:00

Honestly you'll probably get judged by what you look like. A hot silent introverted guy is a mysterious Clint Eastwood type. An unattractive one is a school shooter. And 90% are just not on anyone's radar to make opinions about.

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-06-27T17:39:25+00:00

I like introverted people. I feel comfortable around introverted people. Because they are in my experience the less shallow, less annoying, they leave you alone and give you space. Introverted people are the best of society.

781234567 · 2020-06-27T19:16:28+00:00

I wouldn’t assume anything of an introverted guy. I have introverted friends that only open up around their kind of people and they are fine and happy with that. I’ve dated introverts but they aren’t my cup of tea. I love going out and socializing so for me it’s just not a match lifestyle wise. Find yourself an introverted gal and you gucci.

2020-06-27T21:22:28+00:00

I don't assume an introvert is automatically a mouth breathing misogynist. Don't worry lol. Plenty of extroverted males have questionable views toward women too. It has nothing to do with intro/extroversion imo.

Reisiluu · 2020-06-28T00:24:45+00:00

would you ever approach a socially introverted male?

No.

Would you try to be their friend?

Sure.

Reach out if they looked down?

No. I don't do that to anyone I don't know.

Being an Introvert doesn't mean you look down and can't approach, by the way.

NarniaFox · 2020-06-28T06:07:18+00:00

I'm not a social butterfly myself, so I don't see any reasons for avoiding other introverts. Who am I supposed to communicate then?

Timely-Warthog · 2020-06-27T17:36:18+00:00

I can’t speak for every woman, but as someone more introverted myself, I’m mainly drawn to other introverts as well.

I don’t do that much approaching due to being shy, but if I see someone that seems interesting I’ll try and say hi to them. For example, a few years ago I saw a guy quietly reading a book that a few of my friends had recommended to me, so I went up & told him that it seemed like a good novel. I didn’t want to interrupt him since he was reading, so I only said a little bit, but the conversation continued and we still talk every once and a while today. That was how we met. For the most part I mind my business though, regardless of how outgoing someone is.

As someone more introverted, I tend to be interested in other introverts, regardless of gender. My whole friend group is made up of really quiet, really interesting people (the guy I mentioned before is into leatherwork now, and I find niche hobbies like that really interesting). Then again, when it comes to men, I always tread with a bit of caution until I know them well regardless of how outgoing they are just as a safety precaution. I don’t know how more extroverted women would feel, though.

learn2earn89 · 2020-06-27T18:19:19+00:00

I am infatuated with a very introverted coworker. He rarely speaks unless spoken to. I have initiated conversations three or four separate times with him. I have said hi to him in passing (he says hi back, but never says hi of his own accord).

I have seen him speaking to mostly males. I know he has friends too. Once in a while I’ll see him speaking to two of the most bubbly women at work (they’re super extroverts and talk to everyone)

I’m not very good looking so either he is not interested or he’s too shy. I would have made the first move but since he’s a coworker, I don’t want him to feel harassed. He looks like he enjoys being alone. Which I completely understand because I am somewhat of a loner myself.

I’ve assumed a few things about men like yourself and the guy I like in particular. Either, you dislike having any interaction with me (because I’m ugly-ish) or I assume that you’re likely schizoid and you rarely desire human interaction.

Rarely do I think a guy is too shy unless it’s a teen or early twenties (not my target demographic)Especially at my age (30).

SaBahRub · 2020-06-27T18:06:10+00:00

Even snails have to poke their eyestalks out of their shells to get laid

I expect that much

DynamicCrab · 2020-06-29T06:31:17+00:00

she now instantly distrusts any socially introverted man she sees on the assumption that they harbour misogynistic resent.

This is insane. And oddly specific. She seems to think that men's worlds only revolve around women and their entire demeanor is based what kind of a history they've had with women?

Guess she should send a letter to the American Psychological Association that she's figured out the actual root cause of social anxiety disorder.

SunflowerBurst · 2020-06-27T17:49:59+00:00

If I think about him at all for some reason, I assume he’s introverted.

I've got a nasty case of rbf and my fashion and general representation are quite standoffish

Have you considered not doing that?

kwalden2 · 2020-06-27T19:28:04+00:00

My husband is socially introverted, but he's still a red blooded man who likes women including myself. I sfirat saw him and told him he had a nice shirt, and I didn't really assume he was hateful. I just maintained my usual expectation that he would at least talk to me sometimes and ask me out if his goal was to interact with me. He did. Note again that I said husband.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-06-27T19:52:35+00:00

Being around a lot of different people all the time taught me not to assume anything about anyone

I have never approached men bc I am used to them approaching me

I am also used to other girls making conversations with me first too in friendships

spacechicken1990 · 2020-06-29T08:47:00+00:00

I'm wondering if people then assume I'm hateful of certain people because of it.

I think this is only in the internet mode ppl wouldn't judge you as harshly as ppl do online.

So women of ppd, would you ever approach a socially introverted male

Yes, I'm very out going and loud and I generally chose partner who are on the quite side as this contrasts balances things out.

As a socially introverted male on a female-heavy uni course I'm interested to know how many women share this view on shy or otherwise non-talkative and non-approachable men. Do you likewise assume theyre hateful, or normal, or no one worth bothering with.

If your outgoing enough to say hello and act in a somewhat friendly manner then I would just assume your shy.

But if you ignore ppl and dont respond in a friendly tone most ppl would just assume your rude/stuck up.

PlanetSquare · 2020-07-02T20:45:58+00:00

Most people in a college classroom seem pretty introverted in general and don't really talk to anyone anyways. If we need to interact like as part of a group project and the guys seem a bit non-talkative, I don't assume that he's hateful or resentful or anything, I just assume he's a bit shy. It can take a bit to get them to actually talk with the rest of the group and they seem to be the least enthusiastic about getting the project done, but the shy guys usually warm up eventually and it's all fine.

Bad fashion sense had never been a deterrent for me. Back when I was 18, there was a guy who wore a fedora and a trench-coat who always sat in the back of the class. The other girls in class would tell me that they thought he was weird and creepy looking. I was the type of person who would befriend all the outcasts so I went out of my way to sorta hunt him down before class one day and started up a conversation with him. He was actually really nice and we had a few things in common, and after that I would make sure to say good morning to him everyday. I even tried sitting next to him a few times, though I usually have to sit in the front because I have bad eyesight. I considered him my friend, though he was really bad at texting, so we basically only hung-out in between classes, and after the class ended we didn't talk anymore.

I don't really befriend guys anymore though. I used to hang out with a lot of guys outside class, introverted and extroverted, and I considered them my friends. I stopped because over text they would often start saying weird things to me like "so have you ever been with a guy", "it's not natural to be a lesbian", "why do girls never give guys like me a chance", etc. Not all of them did this though, some of them were just sorta bad at holding a conversation, only responding with one word answers all the time, and didn't really initiate conversation much, so we just didn't talk anymore after the class ended anyways.

tl;dr: What I assume about introverted males the same thing I assume out of all males that aren't related to me or gay: They wanna smash

the_purring_jew · 2020-06-27T17:38:29+00:00

nothing, i wouldnt notice him at all. why would i put one iota of effort into doing anything "for" some introverted male i dont know

rosephase · 2020-06-27T17:39:49+00:00

The guys I’m attracted to tend to be introverts.

Guys who are shy or stand off-ish often come across as disliking people.

The introverts I like do talk, are social, it just wears them out and they need alone time. Basically I’m attracted to men who like there own company.

I won’t approach men who aren’t talking to anyone unless it’s my job to do so. I teach undergrad and one of my jobs is to get shy kids talking. But ‘shy’ and ‘introverted’ are not the same thing, even if they overlap a lot.

CatchPhraze · 2020-06-27T17:51:13+00:00

I don't. Atlas said it bluntly but best. Men like that are part of the scenery

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TheCornrOfGreySt · 2020-06-27T17:28:12+00:00

To be honest i never think that way about most people in general. Based on how you described yourself id probably wonder if you were lonely or sad. I tend to look past the other stuff and see real emotions behind people. Thats not the norm though, most people are superficial and have a preconceived notion of others that fit a stereotype. The only reason i would think that is if they displayed anger or hatred openly towards women or whoever

HappilyMrs · 2020-06-27T17:52:05+00:00

I'm quite socially introverted too, so approaching anyone is a no go really!

Edit: if I was in a place with them where I was putting the kettle on, I would definitely offer them tea because it would be the right thing to do and a good conversation starter.

For reference, I'm British, and old enough to be hypothetical shy guy's mum probably

c_dolly · 2020-06-27T20:49:19+00:00

I'm more of a socially extroverted person than an introvert but all my partners were introverted. Except for one, I didn't approach them first though.

Would you ever approach a socially introverted male? Would you try to be their friend? Reach out if they looked down? Make em a cup of tea if your putting the kettle on? Or keep em at arms length?

I wouldn't randomly approach an introverted man out of the blue, no.

If the situation calls for it, I might talk to him. If we get along and have stuff in common, sure we could be friends, or at least acquaintances. But it won't be one sided, he'd have to put in some effort too. Being an introvert is not an excuse for not entertaining your friendships.

If he wants more than friendship, he'd have to make it known, early on.

I've got a nasty case of rbf and my fashion and general representation are quite standoffish

You can always improve this.

whichbladeN · 2020-06-27T21:12:22+00:00

I would probably not approach someone shy. Because making someone uncomfortable would make me uncomfortable.

UNLESS he was giving me clear indications of interest. For a shy guy it's hard to imagine what those would be beyond exchanging glances.

AnnelieseJIA · 2020-06-27T23:30:41+00:00

Being socially introverted is not bad and can actually be preferred. For some women if they were with an extremely extroverted male it would be draining. I actually prefer men to be socially introverted but that may be because I was raised by a socially introverted father. There is an extent of introversion that can be negative though. If they are too introverted that its hard to even have one simple conversation then that could hurt their prospects of getting female attention.

notetaking83 · 2020-06-28T03:08:17+00:00

Honestly, I think you'll find a bigger gap between extroverts and introverts, than introverted women and introverted men. Most people from my community growing up didn't approach strangers, they just knew people for a long time and hung out among the same social circles, and maybe after years or months asked someone out on a date.

So would I approach someone I did not know.... no, probably not, unless they had some type of injury and needed assistance. In this sense, I'm simply a tribal person who acts along the same lines as a hunter gatherer, with caution (regardless if a person is extroverted or introverted). If someone is introverted, great, no judgement, not my concern. Would I offer a cup of coffee to a long-time friend, or a friend of a friend, yes, absolutely.

I'm also introverted, but I'm not telepathic, nor is society at large. One method to bypass this is to find an extracurricular with a small group of like-minded people. Over time, they'll have a better sense of who you are. I similarly felt a bit lost in the social mecca of university. Then I joined a language club, and there was only about 7 of us initially. I contributed by reviewing purchases and assisting with set up for events. It's like I could do my thing without excessive pressure to talk, and people got to know me.

OXOzymandias · 2020-06-28T03:27:24+00:00

[deleted]

rubbooyuri · 2020-06-28T04:08:56+00:00

Nothing? Why would I expect anything?

If he’s a coworker, friend or family member, basic human decency?

womanoftheapocalypse · 2020-06-28T04:47:48+00:00

Depends on the incentive to interact. I’m not necessarily talking about looks. RBF isn’t genetic. I use it when I want to keep others at arms length (which isn’t often, usually I’m feeling threatened and need to look like I don’t want to engage/am uninterested). If you look friendly, I’m more likely to be friendly. If you share an interesting thought with the class, maybe it’ll inspire me to talk about that with you. Also it’s a two way street. If I ask you for a pen and all you do is shake your head with your rbf, uhhh, no I’m not gunna pursue any contact. If we’re doing group work and you’re not contributing, I might be resentful. Really, I assume everyone in a class/lecture hall is there to get their education, particularly if they don’t seem focused on socializing. It’s not that I’d be disinterested in someone quiet in class, but I understand that higher learning comes with a price tag. If you seem more interested in learning, good for you, so am I. Frankly, the studious folks are better to study with (less Facebook breaks), but there’s also got to be a rapport and obviously it takes two to tango.

nowimmad123 · 2020-06-28T13:34:46+00:00

Introversion just means you need a lot of time to yourself compared to most people. Being socially awkward is not introversion. Nearly half my family is introverted. They prefer their own company and like short visits. None of them are socially awkward. Also, why ask this question and get defensive in every response if you keep insisting you don’t care about making friends or dating? If you’re happy being alone, why do you give a shit what people assume?

To answer your question, I don’t approach any men, ever, because 99% of men interpret even polite small talk as sexual interest. I don’t give a shit if he’s extroverted or introverted, chances are he will assume I’m hitting on him.

Women are not manic pixie dream girls or pink haired anime babes. It is not our job to pull you out of your shell. You are not the protagonist, you are one of 7.5 billion people.

DXBrigade · 2020-06-28T19:27:03+00:00

Nothing. But being an extrovert is much better than being an introvert.

2020-06-28T20:21:33+00:00

on the assumption that they harbour misogynistic resent.

Yup

eternitypasses · 2020-06-29T22:34:54+00:00

I don’t make any assumptions...

GennyX · 2020-06-30T15:32:20+00:00

I wouldn’t assume anything about them until I got to know them.

Sophiatab · 2020-07-01T16:31:38+00:00

I would probably assume he was more honest and less likely to cheat in a relationship.

ldonnawho · 2020-06-27T18:40:39+00:00

I just think they're creepy nowadays. PPD had a lot to do with that view

Silly_Field · 2020-06-27T23:46:05+00:00

Introverted is not the same as shy and incapable of making conversation.

Introverts are fine. The other two...yeah, I assume they’re misogynistic. Men who don’t talk to women ever due to their anxiety issues often have weird assumptions about women.

Mimoxs · 2020-06-27T18:06:15+00:00

That is my type I would approach and date

It's cute, bonus points if easily flustered/embarrassed or awkward in conversation

crookedsummer2019 · 2020-06-27T18:45:23+00:00

The few men I have encountered in real life who appeared to have sexist bitter views were actually the opposite of social introverts, so no I don’t assume a shy standoffish man harbours misogynistic resent.

As far as approaching, if he was in a social circle that I was a part of I may talk with him ie during a social event that we were both at.

If we were in the same class and the class was small or we were in the same study group I would be more likely to approach if I wanted to ask or comment about something in the course.

Same thing if we were in the same hobby group. I have this thing were I want to make sure people are included in stuff so if someone is in my group (male or female) and they aren’t saying much I try to draw them in. If they resist or seem uncomfortable (which has happened lol) I stop.

I did once try to flirt with a shy guy who I think I may have scared. I probably came on too strong lol. If I was single and there was a shy guy I was interested in I would tread lightly but I would find a way to approach that didn’t make it awkward for either of us.

female_dio_genes · 2020-06-27T22:56:41+00:00

Almost every guy I've slept with was extremely introverted. The few cases where as guy I was involved with wasn't that way it was because of some skill that he had that made him useful to people around him at work or college. But any person I've ever gotten close to has expressed feelings of not fitting in. I'm not a teenager either.

Being shy and introverted doesn't raise any redflags so long as the person is legitimately a healthy amount of misanthropic & neurodivergent. Anyone who's happy about there disability in communication is the one who is fake & untrustworthy. It's not the same as being bitter because someone who's bitter has given up. What I'm describing just gives someone more passion to find the person who does actually understand them. Which is romantic.

So introverted + too nice guy = creep

But introverted + brooding = mysterious, rare, captivating

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-06-27T17:28:03+00:00

So women of ppd, would you ever approach a socially introverted male?

No.

Would you try to be their friend?

No.

Reach out if they looked down?

Definitely not.

Make em a cup of tea if your putting the kettle on?

That's weird.

Or keep em at arms length?

Yes.

Title	Women of ppd, what do you assume of a socially introverted male?
Author	O_FUCK_DONT_CARE
Upvotes	10
Comments	123
Date	June 27, 2020 5:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hgxk18/women_of_ppd_what_do_you_assume_of_a_socially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-of-ppd-what-do-you-assume-of-a-socially.702979 https://theredarchive.com/post/702979

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