If you were a woman, would you want to have male friends?

mannyso · 2020-12-03T07:11:46+00:00

I would if he’s a coworker or someone you share a strong interest with. The big thing would be insuring there’s no ambiguity in terms of a potential relationship.

I don’t think men care to have a lot of female friends because often times their interests are not the same. Most of our male friends became close to us because we share some common interest.

Eastuss · 2020-12-03T08:02:13+00:00

I generally prefer having male friends for activity, female friends for chatting. It's likely I'd do that as a woman too. The only difference is I'd probably more often want to chat than do activities.

MasterTeacher123 · 2020-12-03T12:20:54+00:00

The implication here is that it’s hard to know the guys who are actually your friends and the ones who just want to bang you, I disagree with that completely

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-03T13:07:46+00:00

[removed]

BoredHouseHusband93 · 2020-12-03T10:58:05+00:00

Of course; why would I limit my friend pool to only around 1/2 of people?

If they try get with me and I don't fancy them then they'll have to deal with it, I guess.

WilliamWyattD · 2020-12-03T07:19:00+00:00

Definitely. But it depends on my stage of life. The second important factor is that 'friend' encompasses a wide range of relationships. I would simply be aware of all the difficulties involved in cross-gender 'friendships' and do my best to navigate them with honesty and honor. You should avoid cross-gender friendships if you are not willing and able to occasionally be cruel to be kind and face up to some awkwardness to put things right.

Furthermore, if my closest friends were men, I'd definitely re-examine things. Typically, women whose closest friends are men employ too much sexuality in their relationships with men and women, turning women away and attracting men who at best have mixed interest. Life is full of exceptions, but typically a woman's closest friends should be women and perhaps some gay men.

Finally, a woman has to be very careful being too close to a man who does not have a lot of sexual options, even when she too does not. If a man has lots of sexual outlets, his friendship with you is less likely to be complicated by sudden romantic infatuation. At the same time, your ability to have a tight friendship with him may be complicated by those other women in his life who don't want you to have such a tight relationship with their man. Such is life.

The key things with male / female friendships are awareness and flexibility. Be aware of the possible complications, and adjust the intensity of the friendship accordingly.

Carloverguy20 · 2020-12-03T08:21:23+00:00

sure, not everything has to be sexual with the opposite gender, you can have platonic relations. This is the one thing I disagree with the redpill/manosphere on, I do believe men and women can be and should be friends.

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2020-12-03T10:05:27+00:00

I think it’s healthy to have friends of the opposite gender. Sure there may be occasional thoughts of lust but those are just fleeting feelings. (Catching feelings would be an issue though if it isn’t mutual)

As a man, I feel like every guy should have a woman who is strictly a friend and nothing more, it gives you useful insight on how to be a better boyfriend/husband/partner. Hell I think having a gay friend definitely gives you a better understanding of the world.

I can’t speak for women having male friends because I lack a second X chromosome.

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2020-12-03T09:06:58+00:00

Ok, we already know that men and women find different things interesting. So if I had a male brain then yes, but in the other scenario who knows, I'd probably think most men are boring.

trve_21e · 2020-12-03T13:23:30+00:00

Males faux befriend a woman they are attracted to and put her in the girlfriend zone and become extremely vindictive and violent once their master plan falls apart.

JohnDoe9564 · 2020-12-03T06:57:55+00:00

Who says no to free stuff?

Why would anyone not want free dinner dates, rides, attention, gifts,etc?

monaaloha · 2020-12-03T09:50:16+00:00

nope. never works. and even if you do establish boundaries he’s gonna ghost you the moment he gets a girlfriend and be back the moment that girlfriend is gone.

dondon98 · 2020-12-03T11:11:58+00:00

I think it’s healthy to have a variety of friends but I do think it’s best to primarily have friends of the same gender/ sexual orientation as you. I think it results in less mind fucks. Though maybe as a woman I wouldn’t mind much because: I wouldn’t be the one doing the approaching and I probably wouldn’t have feelings for these men if they’re my friend.

One of my girl friends told me she doesn’t view men she’s attracted to as friends (nor does she try to become friends with them) and as much as that stung that seems to be par for the course.

I_sort_by_new_fam · 2020-12-03T12:41:22+00:00

idgaf I'm a bi man lol

Violin_Ivanoff · 2020-12-03T13:57:20+00:00

NO, beecause I'd be tense, I'd think that everyone wants to fuck me. I'll avoid women too. I'll just befriend gay men. The icing on the cake 🎂

AberrantQuill · 2020-12-03T17:15:47+00:00

I'm 20 and a female. I have (willingly) slept with one man, who I am currently still with.

The vast majority of my friends are men.

I've known Dan since kindergarten - we were born in the same hospital, a day apart.
I've known Bub since second grade.
I've known Hunter and Pat since fourth grade.
I've known Javi ever since I was born - he's my adopted cousin.
I've known Samuel and Richard since 9th grade. They're twins and were a grade above me.

My female friends..?
I've known Kelsie since sixth grade.
I've known Savannah since first grade.

I can firmly say that I've never been romantically, or sexually, interested in any of the friends that I've listed above. Dan, Bub, Hunter, Samuel, and Richard are have partners. I'm acquaintances with their partners. Kelsie and Savannah have partners - I've never met them.

I'm friends with these people because we share the same interests, mainly D&D and Video Games (RPG's). I'm typically their go-to DM for D&D.

I've had one male friend shoot his shot (Samuel) and we tried it out. We were better off as friends, and no hard feelings came about three months later when we broke up. We're still friends, and his girlfriend is the sweetest soul out there.

I think I'd have the same preference of friends if the sexes were suddenly swapped. I fully believe that men and women can remain friends without wanting to use each other, be it for sexual reasons or financial reasons. It all depends on who those people are.

SilentLurker666 · 2020-12-03T11:04:31+00:00

I'm a male and i have female friends. I fail to see why my females friends won't befriend me just because i'm male?

Koalalumpuur · 2020-12-03T09:45:14+00:00

2 of my besties are heterosexual guys, I cannot not picture a friendship with them , we have super clear that we don’t want nothing with each other , one is in a relationship and the other is a free spirit hahaha. I feel super comfortable sharing my feelings and thoughts with them , really caring and accepting. I’m not sure if it’s for me is so normal that just writing this is weird, it’s true that doesn’t work with everybody and you can live sometimes the situation that they wanted More or vice versa. Idk just be humans , sex and romanticism is not everything

iamthemovie1992 · 2020-12-03T09:47:27+00:00

If they weren’t attracted to me sexually absolutely.

wtknight · 2020-12-03T13:35:58+00:00

would you ever want to legitimately be a man's friend for the sake of being his friend?

No, probably not. Because, as you say, chances he's probably being my friend just because he's sexually interested in me, and I'd rather not deal with the drama and potential danger of a guy being attracted to me who I thought was just a friend who I'm not attracted to.

decoy88 · 2020-12-03T13:41:45+00:00

Of course. I have female friends right now, so I’d prove want the same other way around.

I do however advise women to not write a guy off completely if he “shoots his shot” because, well it doesn’t mean he’s not decent, or always had an ulterior motive. But what’s important is how he carries the rejection that determines whether real friendship can continue.

jawnzoo · 2020-12-03T16:40:41+00:00

I think both genders usually look for people they find attractive to be their friends.

Stereotypes are inaccurate and don't make up the majority of the group btw.

As a male I've had girls stop talking to me because I rejected their advances and vice versa.

Personally I don't look at gender when making friends, because it's more about common interests and humor/personality. Why would I limit myself like that?

also there's different levels of friends, so it's not black and white. Most of my closer female friends are one of 'the boys' though.

YveisGrey · 2020-12-03T22:37:38+00:00

I have male friends we’re not nearly as close as my female friends and I are though

chlor0phil · 2020-12-03T22:50:02+00:00

Yeah I would. Mostly to be able to get different perspectives on gendered cultural stuff, and to call each other on our bullshit in ways that women generally don't with other women. The issues around boundaries and risks is something that everybody needs to navigate for their own relationships and honestly most people don't put enough thought and intention into that.

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tosit2019 · 2020-12-03T11:39:36+00:00

Of course I would because, as Chris Rock says, you never know.

GiveSouce · 2020-12-03T14:13:50+00:00

It‘s all about how mature you are and in you‘re decision of who you choose as your friend. If that friend develops feelings for you and you don‘t want to be more than friends and it‘s not possible for your friend to go back to just simply being friends, then you have to put a stop to the friendship. If both people are MATURE then it should be possible to respectfully arrive to this conclusion without making a huge deal out of it. And maybe in the future it might be even possible that they would become friends again if circumstances allow it. Some people can‘t take responsibiltiy for their own actions, which also includes the desicion of who you choose as your friend and taking care of your own emotions without depending too much on other people.

Plane_Painting_6107 · 2020-12-03T14:14:52+00:00

I have male friends, but I don’t hang out with them alone outside of VERY rare occasion (or if I’m single). If my boyfriend had a female friend that he wanted to hang out with alone all of the time I wouldn’t be comfortable, but we also usually hang out with friends together... so I guess if we were a couple that spent time with friends on an individual basis I may feel differently.

Kanedy29 · 2020-12-03T15:11:58+00:00

I actually only have two friends and they are both guys. I never got a long with girls because I'm kinda introverted and uneasy at social gatherings. Women like to dress up and go out drinking, clubbing or shopping. I enjoyed hanging out with a large group of friends when I was in school, but at 27, I'm not someone who enjoys going out. Hence, I only have guy friends who like to read comics or play videogames.

Furthermore, my guy friends all through school, college and now adulthood, have never tried to shoot their shot with me. I am absolutely confident of this because they have always had very attractive girlfriends.

Men are just generally more introverted and funny and I get banned from girl groups on reddit a lot cause I make jokes that are considered politically incorrect these days. So there is that. I would like more girl friends but men are generally easier to talk to and leave me alone for the most part.

The tempo is more relaxed with men and can get competitive in a group of girls.

jdobrila · 2020-12-03T15:28:35+00:00

Bluepilled woman? Yes.

Redpilled woman? No.

Zcuzz · 2020-12-03T15:46:34+00:00

Yes. I'd exploit the simpery as hard as possible

NaturalQueer · 2020-12-03T17:41:00+00:00

Yes of course, I’ve had tons of male friends in my life some I’ve dated some I haven’t.

Also I am bisexual so if I can’t hang out with men cause there might be attraction then I couldn’t hangout with women either. And while it’s hard I am sure to be friends with someone you fell in love with, I don’t find it that hard to be friends with someone you’re attracted too, hell in my wedding party I had at three people I had been previously very attracted to one I met on tinder but when we realized we were better as friends that’s what happened.

One of my best for a very long time was guy we would go for coffee and stuff and talk tons but he had a girlfriend and I had boyfriend at the time and though we drifted apart there was never anything other than friendship. I’ve had guy friends tell me they like me and given some chances here and there. I mean my husband and I were good friends before we got married. But again I also had my fair share of male friends who were just that.

Copperstoner · 2020-12-03T17:43:37+00:00

Why not? In the worst case I lose him. If we aren’t really close it might hurt a bit, but it doesn’t really matter.

Plus: I’m 99% sure that I’m getting more support of a friend group with men, then of one with women. And I I’m the one who wants sex I can quite easily pull that off.

acron5n5 · 2020-12-03T18:03:02+00:00

I would never see them as friends because I clearly know what are they in for. But having "friends" (orbiters) that would help me with anything for free seems like a nice idea, why not?

Affectionate-Ad5657 · 2020-12-03T18:17:20+00:00

My only male friends I have are those I made before Highschool (most of them I have met in preschool to 4th grade and they basically see me as their sister). Once I entered Highschool I couldn’t take their sexual jokes/innuendoes/B.S excuses for their vulgarities.

vmoonbow · 2020-12-03T20:00:48+00:00

100% you can have a legitimate friendship , however it helps when its part of a mixed group of friends, so it's not so much one on one but as a group thing. It also helps to have both couples and single people around because it balances it all out. Your friends can hold either of you accountable when someone crosses any boundaries or takes advantage of the other.

Basically, you respect each other because you share mutual friends that are important to both of you and from there you form a legitimate friendship.

Workaholiconew · 2020-12-03T20:48:25+00:00

Yes, men are better in the give and take game on average, even if you discount the obvious sexual favors idea and that women can give the social interaction that women crave and men distaste.

I probably would not be able to perceive that, as a female, there is no chance of ever having a male friend until my mid life. But heck, They are better never the less, as I am quite the pragmatic and antisocial person, even for men's standards.

I probably would have also very different tastes, tho.

Being female won't give you mind reading powers to let you know the guys who really does want to be your friend from the guys using friendship as a means to an end with 100% certainty.

Unless you are below a 2/10, I.e. morbidly obese or above the age of 40, there is almost no chance you ever gonna get a real pure friendship. But even then, even if you find one who is really a friend, they are better than your average woman. At least they seen interested in giving back.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-12-04T00:03:42+00:00

Some, I would guess. As long as there were mutual activities or interests bonding us together. Friending up some rando off the street or on social media isn't usually accepted by either party.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-12-04T00:32:20+00:00

Friends aren't about gender for me. Had shitty male and female friends before.

PickleLine · 2020-12-04T00:50:35+00:00

Maybe not true friends but I would definitely capitalize on female privilege and have male friends to do free emotional labor for me and entertain me when I'm bored or lonely

Tough_Piglet_2964 · 2020-12-04T02:39:26+00:00

Yeah.I have ton of guy friends. I’m not necessarily going to brunch with them, but we will go to concerts, watch movies, hike, literally a ton of stuff. I’m an only child with a small family so I always saw my male friends to be like brothers I never had. I’ll ask them about relationship stuff, negotiations practice when I wanted a raise or when I decided to try archery and all of my female friends were like hell no! I find one of the best things about my life is that I have friends of different genders and ages. ( of course all of the other diversity buzz words too) but for me specifically having older(10 year +? friends and male friends in the mix has honestly been like the best emotional life hack.

reignoferror00 · 2020-12-04T14:51:52+00:00

If I was a woman? Would depend.

Is my mind being transferred into a female body? my body being changed to look and function like a female body but the hormones and chemicals still being male? Same age (which would be in early 50's) or younger? Is my vasectomy changed into having my tubes tied? Would my sexually be changed so I'm physically attracted to guys and would it be as much as the typically woman is or would it be more (like how much the typical guys is physically attracted to women)?

liarliarpantsonfirex · 2020-12-04T19:46:33+00:00

Nah, I’m 19 now and I’m done having men as “friends”... we aren’t friends if your trying to do to anything and everything to be more than friends.. can’t really blame them, men are just men at the end of the day.

Rook_Cross · 2020-12-05T21:25:40+00:00

Ha! I just watched a video where all the women said they could be friends and all the guys said men and women can't. Then the interviewer got the women to admit their male friends probably wanted to sleep with them. I used to get along with boys better as a kid, but get along with both genders. i probably have more interest in stuff that's typically male though. So if I wanted to talk about my interests men would be better, especially given my politics. But that they might think I'm interested, or using them would give me pause, because I'm not and would hate to be accused of such, especially being a people pleaser. i also believe to some extent it's wrong to have opposite sex friends while in a relationship. So I guess I'd like to have male friends but can't? It's a paradox. It was easier as a kid, when there was no interest (seriously I was plain and we're talking pre-grade 7).

2020-12-07T02:29:29+00:00

I have them. most are gay or from highschool though.

ThrowawayCOVID999 · 2020-12-28T23:54:15+00:00

How many friends do you really need? Most of them are just waiting for a chance to steal your woman.

Noodles_R · 2020-12-03T07:27:31+00:00

[deleted]

WingIllustrious · 2020-12-03T07:49:33+00:00

No I wouldn't lol..It's against my religion.

cuckspace · 2020-12-03T08:52:41+00:00

Women gain more from from friendships with men than the other way around. That’s probably why they are always so surprised when the friend turns out to have romantic/sexual interest in her. Men can talk freely, give honest helpful advice and have genuine interest in their hobbies and areas of expertise. It’s very rare to find a woman whose opinions and insights are uniquely her own and haven’t been imprinted on her by some other man.

throw-away-1709 · 2020-12-03T09:54:13+00:00

Sure. They do everything i want a a fingerklick

Lie-Equal · 2020-12-03T15:57:59+00:00

The idea of men and women being friends didn't even exist until the last century, and the reality of men and women being friends is mostly mediocre at best, exploitative at worst, with a few exceptions.

801735 · 2020-12-03T11:32:14+00:00

If you were a woman, would you want to have male friends?

Probably, yes. If I were a woman, I'd play with my boobs and finger myself for a while, then spend the rest of the day learning how to drive. I'd not only want to have, but NEED a male friend for the driving part, so I wouldn't die alone.

Title	If you were a woman, would you want to have male friends?
Author	GGMcThroway
Upvotes	37
Comments	162
Date	December 3, 2020 6:47 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/k5s9nm/if_you_were_a_woman_would_you_want_to_have_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-were-a-woman-would-you-want-to-have-male.732399 https://theredarchive.com/post/732399

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