Do relationships automatically make a man a beta/betabuxx?

JohnDoe9564 · 2020-11-28T17:25:25+00:00

You're only a BB if your money is the only reason women are attracted to you

Try to not use it as your only redeeming factor and improve on the other areas of your life

RageStreak · 2020-11-28T17:35:35+00:00

Life is much more nuanced than “alpha” and “beta.” These concepts, as they are used in TRP, are fabricated by men who are attempting to impose order on sex/romance/dating, when there is no such order. Relationships, attraction, dating, sex are vast and fluid arenas. Men of TRP try to make hard rules and formulas for these endeavours, when life doesn’t work that way.

Do you want a relationship? Then pursue one. Don’t let internet strangers tell you your value as a human. A real alpha pursues their own happiness without needing approval from others.

iamthemovie1992 · 2020-11-28T18:49:56+00:00

Not necessarily, but if you weren’t chosen for casual sex in your life then by definition you’re a “beta”. However that doesn’t make the relationship a betabuxx, in my opinion it’s a true betabuxx if she doesn’t find you attractive, isn’t sexually adventurous with you, treats sex like a chore and “maintenance”, and you’re providing more than she is giving back. You can be in a relationship but she could actually want you, and these issue with Betabuxx is that the woman doesn’t want you

Bandit174 · 2020-11-28T17:40:10+00:00

No, relationships are not automatically beta. I think it's only beta/bux if you're a guy who is dating a girl who has slept around more than you and she sees you physically/sexually as a downgrade compared to the men she slept around with but chooses you based on convenience/stability. Or in other words she thinks you're a great guy to pay off a mortgage and raise kids with but never would have chosen you as a fuckbuddy back when she was experimenting.

wtknight · 2020-11-28T17:44:30+00:00

No, because women ideally want relationships with men who are an equal mix of alpha and beta. This is the ideal for a woman, and she is not going to be looking to branch swing if she finds her ideal guy who can be both sexually attractive and who can help support her future family.

PMmeareasontolive · 2020-11-28T18:37:56+00:00

This problem, like so many others, is solvable by asking yourself the simple question "Am I happy?"

If you are then you are getting value out of the relationship. If you are not then you are not. End of story.

brinkleybuzz · 2020-11-28T20:57:16+00:00

Automatically? Absolutely not.

If you're in a relationship with an attractive woman who's fully into you and consistently gives you what you need with a reasonable amount of investment by you, isn't that a great situation to be in?

You're in betabux territory if you end up with a woman who considers you to be her backup plan, isn't sexually attracted to you and invests a lot less in the relationship than you do.

You can avoid becoming a betabux by only getting into relationships with women who have consistently proven by their actions that they are sexually attracted to you and can add value to your life.

Lie-Equal · 2020-11-28T17:24:04+00:00

TheJim66 · 2020-11-28T17:59:01+00:00

Relationships are beta affairs but being in a relationship doesn't make you a beta. Alpha and beta are traits. Alpha traits are sexually attractive but diminish comfort (which is needed for a relationship). Beta traits are sexually unattractive but build comfort. In a relationship you need to balance the alpha with the beta leaning more towards the alpha. The female ideal is exactly that after all, alpha bux, a dude that is alpha enough to be sexually desirable but beta enough to have a relationship with her.

neubs · 2020-11-28T21:44:17+00:00

Women can be a betabuxx too though if the man is significantly more attractive.

whrv · 2020-11-28T19:21:30+00:00

If you’re super insecure about it, date women who are uglier and smarter/more successful than you.

Diamond-Breath · 2020-11-28T21:19:50+00:00

Dating and relationships with women require spending in some way. If you’re worried about your coins don’t date women with standards, which are usually the beautiful feminine ones that most men want. Aim to be alpha bucks, that’s the best advice I can give you.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-11-28T17:24:33+00:00

No. You are not a betabux for getting into a relationship. Don’t let the bitter incels tell you otherwise.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-11-28T23:08:09+00:00

If you're an 'alpha' who stops sleeping around to get into a relationship does that make you a 'betabuxx' now?

If a man needs to secure a relationship by providing commitment and resources he's not an alpha. He's a beta offering betabuxx and commitment for sexual access. Nothing more. Most betas would happily take casual sex from multiple good looking women over an LTR (if they were honest) but they don't have this luxury. They know that despite the odds of the whole thing going sideways their BEST SHOT at getting sex on the regular, at least for a few years, is (FOR THEM) a betabuxx commitment and resources offering.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now for the rest of the essay...

And cue the Blue Pill cries: But but but Alpha's get in LTRs all the time!! SO you're WRONG!

No, I am not wrong. The true alpha can have LTRs or have one woman live with him, but there are TWO DISTINCT things that make him totally unlike his betabuxx counterparts:

(a) He can cheat and she won't leave him. Women share alpha's in the casual sex market as well as in LTRs. When women "just can't stop going back" to cheaters or abusers, these men are alpha. You'll often hear women admit they don't even pursue alpha's for child support for their little illegitimate alpha babies: "Oh, well, Johnny doesn't work a typical (ahem) 9-5 job..."

(b) He can lose his job, if he has one at all. Why? She never cared about his "bux" - he's there because he's a genetic alpha. The beta, well, his bux - like his faithfulness - had damned well better be there.

It all comes back to the definitions.

GENETIC ALPHA - She'll sleep with him and not expect "stuff", and she will share him with other women freely, despite trying to hide this reality from herself.

SOCIAL ALPHA - She needs to be a top 0.1% woman to get the CEO or the hockey star. How rare are these men? For every one social alpha, 10,000 or 100,000 other men trudge off to various levels of beta-buxx work every single day. Even some doctors are betas such as general practitioners who don't have their own practice, or podiatrists or dentists. In PPD, many people confuse upper-echelon betas with alpha's. Christian Grey from 50 Shades is a social alpha. Social alpha is genetic alpha who is also socially powerful. It's that simple.

BETA - She'll have an LTR with him, but god knows she can DO BETTER and she's making a big sacrifice by being with him, so he had darned well better bring her lots of bux, lots of comfort, and she should NOT Have to share him or ANY of his resources. 99.9 to 99.99% of men are some level of beta. It's a big group with vastly different incomes at each end. Some betas make $500K / year. Why are they beta? If they were broke, they wouldn't get laid . It's that simple.

Look at what all the women here say about LTR couples: the female always has a HIGHER SMV. Okay, so why is that then? IT's because he's in a beta-buxx arrangement where she led with looks and he led with commitment and resources. The two would have a similar RMV (relationship mate value) not a similar SMV (sexual market value). The deal is he takes himself off the sexual marketplace and hands over most of his earnings to her.

Various sources say women in LTRs and marriages control EIGHTY PERCENT of household spending. They say "married men earn more" - well they have to. Their partner is entitled to spend 80% of the household income. My "invisible wife" spends ZERO PERCENT of my household income - that's why what little debt I have is evaporating and my kids have a pretty good standard of living.

Would it just be better for men to stop dating seriously altogether once they are single past a certain age to avoid becoming a 'betabuxx'?

If you want kids, the LTR (sadly) is still the most common route men take. If you do not want kids get a vasectomy immediately. There is no need to live with a woman to have a relationship with one. Just keep putting off moving in and after a few years she'll corner you on cohabitation then just dump her. Besides, after a few years you've probably already been looking around everywhere at fresh new tail anyways. And that's if the sex hasn't already gone to hell or is just completely gone.

If men were more honest with themselves about why they want women and how they plan to get their sexual needs/wants met then life would be a lot simpler for a lot of men. Many men get into LTRs ambivalent about having children, she gets pregnant, and then he has two choices: 1. Tough it out with someone who might have become unreasonable or sexless or both or 2. hand over a big chunk of his income to buy back his freedom and try again with another woman.

stats135 · 2020-11-28T17:36:48+00:00

Alpha and beta only has meaning in relation to one another. Its like smart and dumb or rich and poor. If you are the only person alive then you would be simultaneously the smartest and dumbest, richest and poorest.

Same with relationships. If you are the only man she fucks then you are the alpha and the beta. If she's fucked other men as well, then how alpha or beta you are is in relation of how much other men had to invest to fuck her. The bottom line is that you don't buy the cow if other men were able to get the milk for free.

Throwawayforshitt · 2020-11-28T21:29:35+00:00

ome people racking up triple digits n-counts, does this mean that a man choosing to get in to a serious relationship is automatically a 'betabuxx'?

I think you answered your question right there.

If you're dating a girl with 100+ N, then yes.

If you're dating a girl with a reasonable N, no.

My general rule is my N has to be higher than hers (for a LTR) or i feel uncomfortable, I'd recommend that as a general guideline.

Obviously that may not apply to some of yall who have low Ns (like <5), if thats the case you prolly wont be able to find a girl with less than you

Appropriate_Major_11 · 2020-11-28T23:25:56+00:00

My mans is pretty "alpha". I think my presence just makes him more "alpha" too. He become more desirable to other women when we started dating. Also, he is much more put together now and I think this propels him even higher up the food chain.

Workaholiconew · 2020-11-29T02:19:14+00:00

No, but it is an extremely inefficient way to achieve happiness for your average man.

Any resources you invest into a relationship, probably could be better used elsewhere.

LooseIndication · 2020-11-29T10:09:12+00:00

A beta buck is not necessarily married or in a relationship, and is not necessarily spending money on women.

Beta buck is the negotiation strategy of beta males: since they cannot arouse attraction on women, they resource to "compensate" with other things, like attention, comfort, money, obedience, virtue signalling...

The phrase originated to describe men who dated women, spend money on them, gave attention, and comforted those women when they complained about how badly the alphas treated them, and still the alphas got the sex, and the betas got nothing, but at best, the friendzone.

does this mean that a man choosing to get in to a serious relationship is automatically a 'betabuxx'?

A man asking for a relationship is beta. It is the woman's role to do that. Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of relationships. A man that gives undeserved relationships is a man-whore.

If you're an 'alpha' who stops sleeping around to get into a relationship does that make you a 'betabuxx' now?

Is more complex that just sleeping.

If an alpha starts negotiating attraction, he's perceived as beta, and once a man is perceived as beta, there is no way back to alpha.

AnarchoNAP · 2020-11-28T17:26:52+00:00

If you want a relationship then the best thing to do is to marry young ish.

The second best thing to do is to marry the age you are, but filter out hoes who are deciding to settle. Find someone who sucked at finding a relationship because they are awkward.

If you don't want a relationship then it doesn't matter.

801735 · 2020-11-28T17:29:37+00:00

does this mean that a man choosing to get in to a serious relationship is automatically a 'betabuxx'?

If it's a business relationship and they're paying you mountains of cash, then no. People forget that relationships are formed outside fuckery all the while not even being capable of ever relating to anyone or anything inside their field of vision day-to-day. "I'm in a downwardspiralship, mkay!!!?!"

Would it just be better for men to stop dating seriously altogether once they are single past a certain age to avoid becoming a 'betabuxx'?

Could be, a little.

TLorrai · 2020-11-28T17:54:13+00:00

If what you mean is that he is spending more for what others got for free, then yes he is the beta in the situation. Other guys she slept with in the past didn't have to date her or make her feel special. He was just hot and around so she fucked him. If you're asking whether the beta has it worse in this scenario there's no way to tell. Every relationship is different, and girls do want emotional intimacy with alphas. The problem in today's world is that not every guy is an alpha and every guy is replaceable. The moment you mess up or she gets bored she can just call the next guy on her list. So unless you are the alpha who chose to settle down, there's no long term benefit to being the boyfriend. You can get similar results just spinning plates.

So yeah you're beta, unless you're not. Don't settle for someone who just wants company while she waits for the next best thing.

taapy234 · 2020-11-28T17:53:03+00:00

In modern day? Definitely yes.

Hypergamy doesn't favor long term satisfaction. Sooner or later, she's going to get bored, and will ditch you out for monkey branching the next guy on her list and you may have wasted months (best case scenario) to sometimes years (worst case scenario)

LTR in today's climate is just unfeasible, and thanks to RP body of knowledge, you can easily cut losses and set realistic exceptions.

The only way you win as a guy is to not cave in to marriage or long term relationships.

(And if you want to give up and just marry anyway because of whatever reason, go ahead and do it, but ONLY after you are over 45. This way, if you do get divorce raped by your future "wife", you can lessen the impact)

AfricanAnaconda · 2020-11-28T18:06:00+00:00

You're a betabux if your girlfriend ever once displayed a greater degree of sexual permissiveness to a non-commited partner than she would ever for you. This is impossible to ascertain with any certainty as one can't know everything about a woman's past, but generally it would follow along any indication that she does not see you as a sex object, yet has or may for other men. She has categorized you as a resource provider, for whom sex is allowed on a purely transactional basis.

SeemedGood · 2020-11-28T21:29:24+00:00

Not necessarily but it requires constant vigilance to avoid the path which leads to that misfortune.

It’s like walking a tightrope, and unless you believe that the woman with whom you’re enetering into the LTR is:

Willing to be introspective, objectively self observant, and self critical enough to expand her consciousness such that she can be objectively honest about her true nature, and
Willing to expend the effort to develop mastery over her true nature so that she can evolve into a person fully capable of appreciating you for your being without regard to your utility to herself and actually loving you,

...entering into an LTR with her is a bad idea and should be avoided.

See MRP.

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2020-11-28T19:30:43+00:00

If a man in a relationship doesnot have a sidepiece, or at least there are women vying to be his sidepiece or trying to steal him from his current woman------------------------------>Then he is betabuxx, and it's a matter of time he gets cucked...This is a Cuck or Get Cucked World

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-11-28T19:28:28+00:00

If a girl thinks that you're "alpha" she's only going to want you for sex. Betas basically get used for that long term emotional comfort and security with little sexual attraction in their relationship (or it wanes overtime). If women aren't foaming at the mouth when they see you, you're probably gonna be the emotional support guy.

Title	Do relationships automatically make a man a beta/betabuxx?
Author	ANRthrowawayABF
Upvotes	7
Comments	256
Date	November 28, 2020 5:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/k2rk96/do_relationships_automatically_make_a_man_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-relationships-automatically-make-a-man-a.732648 https://theredarchive.com/post/732648

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