Men are not entitled to sex as women are not entitled to commitment

NarniaFox · 2021-04-28T08:50:05+00:00

Neither men or women are entitled to sex or commitment from some other random man or woman. It's different from acting according to the agreement or made promises in already existing relationships.

A chronical lack of intimacy (or anything else) is a valid issue and if one's partner isn't interested in solving it, there are really limited choices, it's either leaving them, living without sex or cheating on them. I don't think that cheating is justified in this situation although it's understandable.

2021-04-28T16:30:22+00:00

If a spouse is withholding affection the relationship is over. When a relationship is over its time to move on. NEXT!

trueanonymousperson · 2021-04-28T09:44:23+00:00

Well, solving the problem itself is a bit complicated - threatening to break up if you don't get sex is, according to a lot of people today, coercion. (Even though this is a perfectly good reason to break up - incompatible sex drives are a relationship killer)

I'm not sure if you can even say "hey look, I think we have incompatible sex drives and I'm considering breaking up" without somebody (not necessarily your SO) deeming any subsequent sex to be coerced or pressured.

So the solution is simple. If you want sex and you aren't getting it, you break up without any warning. The relationship was doomed anyway - incompatible sex drives.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-04-28T09:07:14+00:00

No shit sherlock.

No one is entitled to either sex or commitment.

If you have a dead bedroom then address the problem. Your options are:

A) solve problem, usually with compromising on both parties

B) deal with it and be miserable

C) leave

If you want an open/poly relationship thats fine if everyone involved consents.

Assuming a monogamous relationship, just leave. Don't do this fidelity on pause shit. Man/woman up and leave.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-04-28T14:05:02+00:00

If Evolutionary Psychology theorizes that men are biologically driven to want regular sex so to ensure paternal certainty, does this mean that women are biologically driven to work against this, so to maximize their opportunity for dual-mating? Does this explain the "desire discrepancy"?

Because it's a bit sad but what this predicts is that sex and commitment don't necessarily work together.

Professional_Gold_25 · 2021-04-28T16:05:33+00:00

I feel sorry for men who see sex as a quid pro quo arrangement. If you're with a woman who doesn't like sex and doesn't initiate it about as often as you, this is your wakeup call. She isn't into you. Dump her. Time to move on.....

disayle32 · 2021-04-28T14:09:13+00:00

No argument here. My problem is with our feminist society, culture, and mass media screaming at men for decades that they are not entitled to anything from women, while not giving women the same message. This has resulted in female entitlement growing to insane levels.

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-04-28T15:37:22+00:00

Here is a better version: No one is entitled to anything.

Enter any and all relationships, contracts, meetings and gatherings expecting nothing in return. If there is something that can go wrong, it will. You not getting what you expected to get is much better than getting the opposite of it. Cut your losses and leave the moment you do not get what you want.

It maybe inhumane and cold, but this is the world we're living in now.

hesipullupjimbo445 · 2021-04-28T20:01:04+00:00

If men left when they were unhappy most relationships wouldn’t last more than a month. Male libido is the only thing keeping women’s self esteem from plummeting

Jujuj07 · 2021-04-28T13:14:39+00:00

We should automatically ban or delete any posts that use the "You are not entitled to blablabla" argument.
We as humans are not entitled to ANYTHING. People use this argument all the time here and think they are winning the debate or something when in fact this argument can applied literally for everything.

Worried-Smile · 2021-04-28T09:08:01+00:00

Answer: If a man's wants are not being met, then he has no obligation to meet his partner's wqnts. A man should put the fidelity on pause until steps are taken to address the problem and sex resumes.

"Yes, let's cheat because I want more sex. That will fix my relationship."

EDIT: On a more serious note: sexual frustrations in a relationship are very annoying (and something both men and women can deal with, btw). But cheating is just not going to make that better, only worse. Either there are underlying issues in the relationship that can be fixed to increase intimacy, but sometimes sexual needs of the partners just aren't compatible. If masturbation can't act to bridge these differences, a breakup seems inevitable.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-04-28T13:24:47+00:00

Disagree that sex is just a "want". No. It's a need. It's a "need" like women "need" safety and security and expect men to provide it. If women "need" safety and security and "bux" from men (and they say they do), then men "need" sex.

Even independently of what women "need", sex is still a "need" for men. No, men will not die without sex. But men need it because the human contact preserves their humanity. Without it, men become less human. They lose their basic masculinity, and with it, their humanity.

But, leaving that aside, whether sex is a want or need, a man has no right to expect any one woman to give it to him. Just as a woman has no right to expect any one man to give her safety and security. It changes, though, when marriage vows are exchanged - she promises to fuck him. He promises to take care of her. But, yes, I agree that in the final analysis, when she fails to fuck him, he is justified in fucking other women. But he should put everything on pause - money, financial support, time, attention, and labor. No more money. No more "taking care of" her. No more time. No more attention. She refuses him, she can do all that herself with no help from him, until she fixes it.

Mondholm · 2021-04-28T08:36:52+00:00

This assumes women don't want sex and men don't want relationships. If you don't fuck in your relationship, the problem needs to be adressed. This is part of the relationship.

You make it sound like sex vs relationship but it's like a yin yang kinda thing.

Pilling_it · 2021-04-28T12:13:43+00:00

No one is entitled or owed jackshit. Gender is irrelevant.

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-04-28T08:45:27+00:00

The whole official point of a relationship is that you are exclusive. Having sex with other people when your partner doesn’t want sex is a modern day two way open relationship.

Sure you can say men are the gate keepers of commitment, but nobody ever seems to take into account that women can be unfaithful too (withholding commitment) and it seems that rate is catching up if not exceeding the rate men do. However, when we look at the female gate, we see they are largely controlling sex with few men even being in a position to reject it.

This leads me to believe women control like 80% or more of the sex and atleast 40% of commitment.

If a man were to do something like this, most women would either A) cheat too (if they weren’t already) B) leave. The relationship has come to an end So for those really this wouldn’t work.

GridReXX · 2021-04-28T17:15:52+00:00

To what end?

If my wants and desires aren’t being met as a woman I can cheat too?

Slippery slope!

lady_ven0m · 2021-04-29T22:34:36+00:00

If your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you , like ever, then something is wrong and needs to be addressed or both partners need to go their separate ways. What is this pausing fidelity BS? If he’s gonna be pausing his fidelity when he says so I’d sure be pausing mine whenever I feel like it too. Some of you people will try to find any excuse to cheat. Yes, sex and intimacy are valid wants, so if you’re not getting what you want, just leave. Why pause? How does that solve the problem? Why stay with someone that doesn’t want to have sex with you?

801735 · 2021-04-28T08:40:22+00:00

So what is a man to do when he is in a committed relationship when his woman is unwilling?

Comms.
Send her to therapy. Pack bags.
When she returns, explain to her you've fallen out of love just like she has. Leave.

Let's explain why:

woman is unwilling

Oh, and the woman isn't his, just like the man isn't hers.

Homework, class: Why is marriage dead?

moviecooknl · 2021-04-28T09:43:36+00:00

The difference between having a "loving" relationship between friends and/or family compared to an exclusive romantic relationship between partners is sex and committment by both.

Both partners need to do that, period.

If not than first take responsiblity for what you can change (attractiveness, owning your own shit and/or problems, etc) and if there's no change within a reasonable timeframe walk away (divorce/break up) while not foregoing your responsibilities in case you're a parent.

When it comes to fidelity: personally I have strict values/boundaries on fidelity within an exclusive relationship, so under these circumstances and/or if I was more HV compared to my wife I would not cheat and if my wife would cheat she can leave and I'll file for divorce.

flamingoinghome · 2021-04-28T13:10:48+00:00

Is this another RP post where they act like "break up with your partner if the relationship is not making you happy" is a radical and controversial thing they just discovered?

(and does this mean women should also dump their boyfriends if they aren't getting their sexual needs met?)

Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-04-28T13:28:28+00:00

No one is entitled to anything but a group is let get away way more than the other group.

2021-04-28T16:15:34+00:00

This is something that no one talks about. Men are not entitled to sex. Okay, so if he has committed to a woman and she just decides that she no longer wants to have sex with him then he should be allowed to go out and get his dick wet with someone else without having his entire financial life wrecked.

Good-Strong · 2021-04-28T16:39:14+00:00

So you’re saying that if a man’s girlfriend or wife says no to sex, that gives him a “right” to cheat?

If that is what you mean, then no offence- but that attitude needs to change if serious relationships are something you want.

Empathy is key for those.

Murphysmongoose · 2021-04-28T10:11:11+00:00

You should have went with how women think they are entitled to babies, that's a closer analogy.

Lameador · 2021-04-28T15:39:57+00:00

No attempt to change your view, you are right. All succesfull societies tolerated prostitutes, who helped many couples endure the difficulties of life.

801735 · 2021-04-28T09:02:14+00:00

If a man's wants are not being met, then he has no obligation to meet his partner's wqnts. A man should put the fidelity on pause until steps are taken to address the problem and sex resumes.

You do see the can of worms you're opening here? What if every woman who feels emotionally disrespected cheats on her partner because her wants aren't met?

And I say this as someone who sees cheating as inevitable, due to human nature being human nature.

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Sekina7 · 2021-04-28T18:37:38+00:00

Emotional , romantic and domestic obligations on pause ? Sex is on pause . If infidelity occurs . The relationship is over and everybody wins . Next.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2021-04-28T19:19:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-04-28T19:34:29+00:00

But you are perfectly entitled to demand your needs be met and leave when they aren't. So what's it matter?

cloudsongs_ · 2021-04-28T15:22:49+00:00

I guess?? But a lot of men want monogamy and sex so what then?

2021-04-29T00:45:36+00:00

The only thing people are entitled to honesty & communication which seems to be rare these days.

Title	Men are not entitled to sex as women are not entitled to commitment
Author	Aubrey_D_Graham
Upvotes	34
Comments	139
Date	April 28, 2021 8:33 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/n0a97d/men_are_not_entitled_to_sex_as_women_are_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-not-entitled-to-sex-as-women-are-not.760575 https://theredarchive.com/post/760575

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