Lying ex wife

JimHalpertsSmirk · 2024-06-21T16:39:41+00:00

Accuse her of the same. There are no repercussions, as evidenced by the countless times men have been victimized by this, so might as well take her down with you. There is no moral high ground in this bullshit.

Particular_Mix_4160 · 2024-06-20T01:26:28+00:00

Here’s the problem with this situation: people will tell you about having your lawyer do this and that but in the meantime you get kicked out of the house and away from your kids. Then you’re made to prove to a judge that she’s lying. The problem is that the courts don’t want to admit that the penalties they placed on you were wrong. So you end up fighting the courts pride and arrogance. So then, if you can, you prove that her accusations were unfounded or just plain lies. Guess what happens to her? NOTHING! So that is why she does it. It is even common knowledge that divorce attorneys will instruct their female clients to “not lie”, but try to remember if there was ever any physical altercations because “they tell them the advantages that they can get. Just try to get through this as quickly as possible. Good luck brother

No-Marsupial1823 · 2024-06-20T01:10:47+00:00

When they are mad they treat you like someone off the street.

woahbrad35 · 2024-06-19T21:46:55+00:00

Mine did this too, even went to the women's domestic violence shelter the day she left. They tried to write up a restraining order, but her evidence was "he once got mad at a neighbor two years ago and clearly has anger issues". Needless to say, my lawyer laughed about it and it went nowhere. The people that believed her harassed me and my business for a couple months and then poof, they all went like a fart in the wind

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-06-19T19:55:16+00:00

Karma is a dish served very hot. Stay above board in all your interactions with her and karma will eventually even the playing field.

neon_trostky999 · 2024-06-19T19:03:01+00:00

listen to Splitting: how to divorce a Narcissist… it will help immensely

insanityisinherit · 2024-06-19T18:07:54+00:00

Unless it's all well documented over the years, witnesses, and it's true...why are you concerned with this? Judges and lawyers arent stupid.

Formal_Ad4612 · 2024-06-19T17:42:35+00:00

In the middle of this now. I cringe when I see an email from my attorney, as the vast majority of them during our 6 month separation are just a forward of disgusting and false claims from my wife’s Attorney/Best Friend. It’s a struggle, but I’m doing my best to make peace with the fact that these are just as described - disgusting & false claims that are no doubt salt on my open wounds, but that hold no salt regarding the financial settlement

Gattsama · 2024-06-19T16:43:33+00:00

Sorry brother, but do not take it personally. This is all part of the standard playbook. IF there are no kids, then it doesn't even matter = no fault. IF there are kids then it's a play for more custody = more money. Either way just ignore, talk to your attorney, and let them handle it. The system is fundamentally broken, and she is going to use that broken system to try to 'win.'

The work and investments you made mean nothing. Fairness means nothing. And she likely will go even lower before this is all over, because playing the victim is what they do; and the system gives them lots of room to play. Ultimately it's a 50/50 division of all communal assets & debts; nothing changes this. Child custody wise you need to waste time and money, fighting ever claim, but again that's what your attorney is for. If no kids you can literally ignore it all and just proceed with the division of assets / debts.

In my case, no kids. The eX said I was emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive. She said she could not work. She said I controlled the money and used that to control her. And that I was a porn addict, might have had an affair, etc. BUT again no kids, so I didn't even respond to these parts of her claim. I just keep offering 50/50 split and asking what they thought was fair spousal support. I actually laughed when I read of of the crap in her disclosure, because it helped confirm that terminating the marriage was the correct call. Nothing healthy there...

Good luck

Sam_N_Emmy · 2024-06-19T15:51:02+00:00

It’s part of a playbook they follow. Make sure you have a lawyer that pushes back on those charges. In most cases you are going to be guilty in the court of public opinion but a judge will see through the BS. I feel for you, went through a lot of the same.

CreativeNerd1729 · 2024-06-19T15:36:19+00:00

Classic signs of a master manipulator. They learn to do this over millions of years of evolution. Their physical strength is shit, so they resort to emotional strength/tactics: gaslighting, compulsive lying, emotional manipulation, gaining support against you, narcissistic behaviour and much more.

Independent_Owlz · 2024-06-19T14:18:05+00:00

My ex did the exact same thing. She lied on her counterclaims, interrogatories, discovery and on the stand during one of our brief motion hearings.

We were going to impeach her in court if we went to a full trial.

The burden of proof in a criminal case is much different than a civil case. That’s a lesson I learned.

Exactly65536 · 2024-06-19T13:54:19+00:00

Can't you accuse her of the same? I mean, if statements without proof are benefitial to the accusing party where you live, allow yourself some. She beat you, tried to build a nuclear reactor in the basement using smoke detectors, poisoned neighbor's dog and said bad things about powerful people.

stent00 · 2024-06-19T13:37:42+00:00

Yep they flip the script. They ALL do this. Do not listen to her drivel and Grey Rock. It's gonna be a long ride

rsmiley77 · 2024-06-19T13:26:13+00:00

I get the anger. Turn that into action. Make sure you’re prepared for court. You better believe she is.

This_Train340i · 2024-06-19T12:54:06+00:00

This is who she is now, brother, and probably who she always was behind that facade of pretending to love you. Women do not love men for who we are, they love only what we can provide for them and how we make them feel within their social circle.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-06-19T12:33:25+00:00

You’re nothing to her but a payday now.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-06-19T12:06:50+00:00

Yep, same. Abuse , control, and the last one was that I forced sex on her. All lies. We fought every now and then , but never laid a finger on her. She had recordings of me calling her “stupid bitch” when she was flirting with another man in front of me. I told my lawyer I will call her a stupid bitch everyday because facts are facts.

Anyway, depending on the state this is all useless. In my case the maximum she would get is 5-10% of community property. I have 4 years of daily what’s app chat between us which I presented to my lawyer and if push comes to shove I will hire a psychologist to analyse if this reflects any kind of abuse and control.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-06-19T11:47:43+00:00

This is standard practice. I got accused of abuse too and never even raised my voice at her once during our 5 year marriage. Just deny it, it’s scary but the lawyers and judges have heard it a million times it’s just how it goes and won’t matter at all for a financial settlement.

Funny story - I had actually called our wedding off initially and when I did that she was texting all of her friends and family that I called it off because I was insane and I’m abusive. At the exact same time she was texting me begging me for forgiveness and to go forward with the wedding. I had screenshots with timestamps of the conversations side by side to use in court but thankfully we settled in mediation. She never told anyone why I actually called off the wedding and it’s because I found out she slept with three of our mutual coworkers prior to us dating. Nope, didn’t tell a single person that! And yes, I’m a dumbass for going forward with it all anyway… guess who she ended up having an affair with? A coworker hahahaha.

Speesh-Reads · 2024-06-19T11:13:11+00:00

Wouldn’t she have to show some evidence? From the time of the alleged incidents. Without evidence, she’s got nothing.

Beneficial_Town2403 · 2024-06-19T10:02:25+00:00

Not surprising. My stbxw accused me of marital rape out of the blue. She backtracked though, and said it was out of anger she said it. Never trust them. They would tell every lie in the book to get one up on you.

biscuts99 · 2024-06-19T09:56:20+00:00

Yup. My ex started by just lying to family and friends that I'm abusive. Then 4 months into the process told the courts I'm abusive to her and our child.

Riddle me this, if I'm abusive, why do you keep giving me the child on weekends?

Noobinpro · 2024-06-19T09:22:11+00:00

It is straight out of the playbook dude. It is amazing how predictable women are. Get this shit dealt with and let it be over. You are definitely not alone, so many guys are dealing with this crap.

Nashdlp · 2024-06-19T22:11:09+00:00

Commenting as a woman here ... I'm dating a guy who is going through the same thing, and it makes me absolutely sick that his bitch of an ex would accuse him of all these preposterous things. She's accusing him of beating the kids, of having affairs ... she's even hinting at pedophilia, which is absurd. I have known him for over 30 years, and he is a good man with integrity who would not do those things. Plus, he was faithful to her, and he has learned during the divorce that she had at least one affair and that he isn't the father of his youngest child.
They separated in August of 2020 (they'd been married for 20 1/2 years at that point), and he filed for divorce that fall, and it's STILL dragging on. His ex has done everything she can to drag the process out ... I don't know if she's trying to outspend him or just make his life hell because he had the audacity to leave her. She obviously doesn't have proof for her accusations (since they aren't true), and I'm just praying that the judge will see through her crap and give him justice. She has successfully alienated him from all three of his kids, even though he had a good relationship with them before the separation. His heart is broken over that, and it breaks my heart to see it.
To those of you in this community who are good men and who know that you did the best you could to be a good husband/father, I'm so sorry that you have been put through the wringer. Please know that not every woman out there is like that.

Title	Lying ex wife
Author	CarpenterNo3430
Upvotes	54
Comments	58
Date	June 19, 2024 9:07 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1djeoel/lying_ex_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/lying-ex-wife.1522027 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522027

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