She cheated but I stayed

bk2747 · 2025-12-11T20:07:27+00:00

Im sorry, but you’re a fool.

Grafixx01 · 2025-12-11T12:44:43+00:00

Like others say, DNA test isn’t optional. However, if you knew she cheated, tbh, I would have never done anything with her without protection because of a worry of STI/STD or her trying to do something with me right after having unprotected smex with the AP and possibly getting pregnant by the other guy and now just trying to say it is mine. You should be able to kind of figure that out on your own though but what do I know. Coming from someone who is recently finalized of a divorce, just get out. Nothing good will come of it if she has already cheated because you’re never going to be looked at the same and she already has eyes for another man or men. Just like if she says she wants a divorce and the comes back saying she doesn’t, it’s probably because the AP fell through and you’re just the safety net (trust, I was that for like an additional 10 years, until she said it to me for the 3rd time and I said “fine, go file!”)

Standard-Bottle7820 · 2025-12-10T22:48:49+00:00

Stop lying for attention.

Away-Cup8077 · 2025-12-10T20:59:12+00:00

Dude don't hold on. Be happy

CrazySanta7 · 2025-12-10T20:18:15+00:00

No DNA test? Bro, c'mon. Women will never respect a man who takes them back after cheating. But don't pay for another man's kid for 18 years.

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2025-12-10T19:48:44+00:00

Never take back a cheater. Full stop. Put the car in park. Get out.

Why do people always say that? Some people FAFO, testing whether golden axioms of life are in fact true.

Now you know it is true.

It's never a bad time to divorce a cheater.

banderson888 · 2025-12-10T19:14:14+00:00

Get a DNA test. If the kids is yours, fine, try to work it out and stay miserable, But if the kids is not yours get a divorce attorney... and a spine. You're in a fog. You're being abused. Get out,she'll cheat again... and again.

F_b_s_40944 · 2025-12-10T18:36:39+00:00

Not trying to come down on you or make life harder.....but you absolutely have to do a DNA test. Have to.

Pullout66 · 2025-12-10T17:16:39+00:00

Like all the other posters have said ....DNA test.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2025-12-10T16:51:40+00:00

You need to ask for a DNA test. Do not sign that birth certificate without it. You are not fairly certain it's yours or you wouldn't add all those qualifying statements. You're ignoring your real feelings to maintain harmony and you don't have to do that anymore.

kellyjj1919 · 2025-12-10T15:55:34+00:00

Before anything else, get into therapy. You are not thinking clearly.

Cheating is abuse and violent. She has taken away your agency & and ability to decide a lot of things for yourself.

Get the dba test. Otherwise the kid will become a tool of abuse and control.

SaaSWriters · 2025-12-10T15:45:01+00:00

Do a DNA test.

Setup meetings with 10 different lawyers to get a grasp of your situation.

When it’s time, leave.

DBFool2019 · 2025-12-10T15:04:22+00:00

Brother,

Please find yourself a good therapist, preferably one that specializes in betrayal trauma. You have been traumatized and are not thinking clearly at all, like so many before you in this situation.

If she really regretted the affair, she would come clean about the whole thing, cut off all people involved, get herself into therapy and read all of the books necessary to become a better partner. It sounds as if you rug swept the whole mess and let her off the hook completely. She will 100% have another affair if this is the case.

We later found out she’s pregnant and due at the first of the year. I’m fairly certain it’s mine and don’t want to do a dna test.

This comment here.......it shows how badly your brain is misfiring from being so close to the situation. Why would you not want to know who the father is? Do you want to pay for this child born from an affair and be reminded every single fucking day what your wife did to you and your marriage?

If your best friend told you this story would you dare tell him to swallow all of the shit-sandwich and not stand up for himself at all?

Come on dude, snap the fuck out of this already.

I’ve heard things from mutual friends that contradict what she has told me.

Care to elaborate on the inconsistencies?

Is it wrong to divorce her while she’s pregnant?

Wrong question, here's the correct one:

Is it wrong to divorce the harlot that got pregnant from another man while married to you?

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-12-10T14:58:45+00:00

It is never wrong to divorce a spouse who commits adultery.

Also get your head out of the sand and get a DNA test for that child.

bes753 · 2025-12-10T14:41:46+00:00

First of all, you do want a DNA test.

Second, in many states, you are presumed to be the father because you are married, and you cannot go forward with a divorce while she is pregnant. You need to speak with a lawyer ASAP.

Sure_Let_8422 · 2025-12-10T14:37:22+00:00

Honestly the whole DNA test thing isn’t even at the forefront of my mind. I don’t want to hurt my kids relationship with me. A little more backstory, I’m 25 and we already have 2 other kids. We’ve been married roughly 4 years it’s been rocky as hell and there have been several instances when I wanted to leave. Even before the kids. So in all honesty I don’t care about a DNA test. I love my kids and I want to be there for them as much as I can. I just can’t be with their mom anymore

Commercial_Song_7595 · 2025-12-10T14:29:39+00:00

If you’re here asking … you want a dna test.

Moms_Sketti88 · 2025-12-10T13:06:22+00:00

Good chance it’s another man’s child you will raise. At minimum get a DNA test. Sounds like you’re in denial and don’t want to believe there is a possibility the kid isn’t yours. As others said, you will have doubts the rest of your life. Not sure if this is real or rage bait though.

Worldly_Diver9265 · 2025-12-10T11:23:48+00:00

IF A MAN HAS AN AFFAIR WITH YOUR WIFE/GF, JUST KNOW YOUR WIFE/GF STARTED IT

Men, let’s cut the nonsense.

If you ever discover that your wife is having an affair, don’t waste your breath chasing after the other man. Don’t fight him. Don’t even think he’s the one who made the first move. He didn’t. Your girl gave him the signal. Your girl opened the door. She made herself available.

When a woman sends signals, when she shows interest, when she whispers discontent — that’s when men fall into the trap.

Understand this clearly: most of the time, it’s the woman who initiates these affairs. She makes it obvious without saying it out loud. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Signs she’s baiting another man? She’ll dress up skimpy when he’s around. She’ll laugh too loud at his weak jokes. She’ll sit with her legs wide open, making herself a walking invitation. She’ll complain about you to him, painting you as the villain so he feels like the hero. She’ll give him eye contact that lasts too long, touch his arm “innocently,” and make him feel chosen.

That’s how she pulls him in. That’s how she makes another man confident enough to cross the line.

So stop blaming other men when your girl cheats. He didn’t invade a fortress. She opened the gates. She sent the signal. She handed him the permission slip to touch what only belonged to you.

A cheating girl is not confused. She’s not “trapped.” She’s calculated. She’ll lie to you at home, then give her body to another man with no hesitation. And once she’s done it, she’ll do it again. Because a woman who can betray once has already killed her loyalty.

And you, as a man, need to stop negotiating with betrayal. Don’t beg her. Don’t investigate who made the first move. Don’t fight for a woman who has already chosen another man behind your back.

If she cheats, send her packing. End of story.

Because the truth is simple: if another man is sleeping with your girl, it’s because she invited him in. And the only thing more humiliating than being cheated on… is staying with the woman who did it.

FINAL WORD: A man who tolerates betrayal is no man at all. Don’t waste your strength chasing shadows. Don’t waste your fists on men who only answered her call. Put all accountability where it belongs — on her. Then, walk away with your pride intact.

Stay dangerous. Stay disciplined. Never accept betrayal. EVER!

daniel22mckee · 2025-12-10T11:23:03+00:00

Get a DNA test. I wish you all the best of luck, but you are making some of the sketchiest decisions on that roulette table with a blindfold on.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-12-10T07:31:38+00:00

In my country you are not allowed as a man to file for divorce before the baby is 1yo, and just by being married every child born in marriage or 300 days after divorce is assumed to be yours (you don't have to sign anything). You can dispute the fatherhood only before the child is 7 years old.

Another example how women are "opressed".

rowman_nahledge · 2025-12-10T06:42:54+00:00

Dude ffs please at least get a dna test. If you want to stay and work it out thats ok. Your life, buttt kid might have a chance of not being yours id take the test at least. Good luck brother

Important-Possible-3 · 2025-12-10T05:37:33+00:00

What in the cuck

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-12-10T04:41:32+00:00

Sounds like you love being miserable and unhappy. Stay with her.

probebeta · 2025-12-10T04:24:44+00:00

I hate to say it but this situation won't get better even if it's yours. If this one is yours the next one might not be. Are you prepared for that? Do a paternity test and get a lawyer. Protecting yourself doesn't mean you're not going to be a dad to your kid, if that turns out to be yours.

Gattsama · 2025-12-10T04:24:25+00:00

You are actively choosing to tether yourself for a minimum of the next 18 years of financial and child support to a woman who is a liar, cheater, does not love you, and very likely is cucking you by having another man's baby. Once the birth certificate is signed. It doesn't matter in many states. Whether you then prove non-praternity, you will be on the hook for child support.

You need to step way back and ask yourself why do you choose to stay with this person. Contact a lawyer immediately, figure out what you need to do to terminate this toxic relationship.

Your decision-making capacities been compromised. Please see counsel from your friends, family, those that love you. Trust them to make and give you better advice.

BuddhistChrist · 2025-12-10T03:54:13+00:00

If you stay, you will regret it. Go no contact except to co-parent. Find a support group, get a lawyer, join a jiu jitsu, boxing, or CrossFit gym. Get therapy. Learn a new skill.

There. That’s how you start. You’ll thank me in 6 months to a year. Don’t delay.

henrysmyagent · 2025-12-10T03:30:57+00:00

The absolute worst time for her to have a child is when she is still trying to rebuild the trust she selfishly destroyed by her betrayal.

You are perfectly justified in divorcing her right now.

Most men deeply regret trying to reconcile with a lying cheater.

No man has ever regretted divorcing an unfaithful wife.

fixanymarriage · 2025-12-10T03:18:53+00:00

Look up the laws for your state since every state varies. When married, many states assume the husband to be the father unless it's challenged in court.

That said, during and after the 7th week of pregnancy, a non-invasive paternity test can be done. Get one done and do NOT sign the birth certificate if the baby is not yours.

Furthermore, depending on the state laws, the court can order a paternity test to be done.

If you can afford a lawyer, get one.

MaximumIll7812 · 2025-12-10T03:18:37+00:00

Yes, its wrong to divorce while she is pregnant. You should have divorced her immediately when you found out.

As someone who has tried for over 3 years to "make it work"...it never will.

Do. Not. Sign. The. Birth. Certificate. Under any circumstance.

Reasonable-Glass-965 · 2025-12-10T03:18:16+00:00

I tried to take my ex wife back after she cheated on me. She never stopped cheating just got better at hiding it. Maybe some people change. But I too thought i wad the exception. Good luck man. And get the dna test.

xxrealmsxx · 2025-12-10T03:09:10+00:00

Don’t be a dipshit, do the paternity test.

You don’t have to divorce her but not making sure it’s your kid is asinine.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-12-10T02:42:13+00:00

Most states won’t allow it.

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2025-12-10T02:36:25+00:00

Be kinder to yourself and this kid who may not be yours. Get the test. Save a few hundred grand. Get the test. You didn’t make this situation where a test is essential but you can do the actual adult thing and get the test.

Funny_Object_5538 · 2025-12-10T02:12:40+00:00

You get a dna test first and foremost

Title	She cheated but I stayed
Author	Sure_Let_8422
Upvotes	21
Comments	59
Date	December 9, 2025 9:12 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pijg3h/she_cheated_but_i_stayed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-cheated-but-i-stayed.1568455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568455

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