✔️

inlovewithaloser · 2020-09-20T07:47:20+00:00

I’m 25 and it’s so easy to forget how young I still am, when I feel like I lost my early 20s to anxiety, depression, and chasing relationships with LVM. In a way, it’s comforting to hear I’m not the only 25 yr old struggling with this.

just_takin_the_d · 2020-09-20T08:18:16+00:00

I like that it's 25 - when I was 25 I finally got to start in my profession. A profession where you do a bachelor at uni, followed by a very tough grad dip whilst full time working (CPA). I remember the other girls in my graduate group at work were talking about how they "just can't wait to be married". I said that I don't mind about finding someone and getting married - getting married isn't reallt a goal for me. Boy did I get looked at like I was the biggest weirdo, that being a housewife with children was not the end goal.

I'm not here to study hard for 6 years to make my life goal be a house slave, and throw my life and passions away as soon as some LVM sends me a "wyd" text

sagisister · 2020-09-20T06:08:29+00:00

I wish I’d seen this years ago. It’s a message too many girls and women aren’t given.

CastleInTheAttic · 2020-09-20T05:26:49+00:00

I needed to see this today. I just got out of a long term relationship that was all wrong for me. And I’m 24 but I still feel like I’m “running out of time” But you’re right. I have my whole life ahead of me and I can do anything. Thank you.

nerezzamore · 2020-09-20T07:10:20+00:00

I'm 25 and I really needed this to pop up on my feed. Thank you. I'm off to study now and improve my life :)

mysthios · 2020-09-20T11:06:17+00:00

Thank god I never idealized marriage, thanks to my parents' relationship 🙃

lightbluemind · 2020-09-20T06:28:15+00:00

I'm 25 and just now going back to school for my pre-med requirements. Every so often I start to panic thinking "Oh I need to get married before med school, I'll be too old by the time I finish residency" but 30 isn't old! 35 isn't old! (A bit dicey for kids but I don't even know if I want kids!) I can live my life without reference to some imaginary man in my future.

SnooSeagulls2175 · 2020-09-20T09:11:49+00:00

EXACTLY my train of thought at 25.

I remember my best friend at the time said to me, I want to be married by 25 and a kid by 27. She definitely got her wish. We’re 30 now, and she sends me these messages after I post up pictures scaling mountains and living overseas saying, “I wish I was as brave as you.”

azngirl7689 · 2020-09-20T09:33:01+00:00

Yes, I fell into this trap myself. It was only after 25, that I started developing a relationship with myself and surprise I don’t need marriage to be fulfilled now

SeaHerSwim · 2020-09-20T11:40:25+00:00

I’m 48, but get mistaken for early 30’s (thanks to genetics! Woohoo!) and have decided that if my job does not come back in January that I’m going to either do grad school or go for a masters degree. You’re never too old to learn, whether it be through dating, education or self awareness/growth. I also have this board to thank for helping me see things in a new light. Yes, even at 48 you still learn to be even MORE independent. 💕

htownbaddie · 2020-09-20T13:21:47+00:00

This! When I was 22 years old I broke off an engagement and thought my world was falling apart. Meanwhile, I had just graduated with an engineering degree, started working for a good company, making good money, and began graduate school part time.

Of course, I felt horrible because the dude tried to ruin everything. But my mother (high-value all the way), was like “girl, why are you stressed??? I WISH I was single and making money....go do the things you want to do! Travel! Spend your money! This is the time to do it”

My mom encouraged some crazy spending habits, haha, but she was right. Why was I a whole 22 year old thinking my life was over because of someone’s dusty ass son lol.

HoneyNJ2000 · 2020-09-20T12:28:52+00:00

Marriage is a trap for women, not men.

If you want to become some lazy slob's indentured servant, then by all means, marry him. If you want better in life, avoid that shit like the poison it is.

SkiesEclipse · 2020-09-20T09:01:20+00:00

I’m 27, and I’ve been trying very hard to adopt this mindset. Not gonna lie though, I’m having a hard time bucking societal pressure. Especially when I’m one of the last ones in my family and friend group to be single. It’s weird how I gave 0 fucks in my early 20s whether I was dating a boy or not, but as I’ve gotten older I feel the pressure to “get em before they’re gone!” Especially since men looooove to put us down and say we’re spoiled milk after 30. But FDS deprograms me every day.

blanchecatgirl · 2020-09-20T07:42:22+00:00

[deleted]

curlygirl507 · 2020-09-20T11:35:54+00:00

[deleted]

bevstarr92 · 2020-09-20T10:37:55+00:00

I needed to see this today. As a 28 year old woman, with a younger sister and an older sister, who are both married, I was starting to feel a failure for not being “settled.”

Next year I’m travelling abroad for the first time since 2005. I have a list of places I want to visit, and take my son to. Focus on that, and not getting married and defining myself by being “someone’s wife.”

good-day-throwaway · 2020-09-20T13:29:53+00:00

Thank you for the reminder. I'm 28 this year, and it's very easy to feel pressured by all the wedding/pregnancy/baby photos that keep popping up on my social media feed. I've muted the lot of them for my own sanity.

ariesgalxo · 2020-09-20T13:59:45+00:00

I’m 23, with 4 years of medical school left. I have no time to waste on a man in my 20s.

Raccoon328 · 2020-09-20T11:15:40+00:00

I am 25 and I did this over the last 2 weeks. Life changing. I don’t know how everything changed but it did, and it is amazing.

quirkypinkllama · 2020-09-20T13:22:26+00:00

Life is lived in freedom. Husbands not allowed. 😛

2020-09-20T15:13:28+00:00

Finally at that point in my life 😁💕👑

jayohday · 2020-09-20T16:26:16+00:00

I always put college and my career first, after growing up in a small town where many women settled for being a working mom but I stg none of them were happy. I couldn’t imagine growing up to have a life where I stayed in that town, got married, had kids and that was that. The idea actually terrified me, and I knew I wanted so much more. The choice to prioritize myself and my career only continues to be the right choice. Men who are intimidated by my career and what I’ve got going on for me — NEXT.

washopingyoudask · 2020-09-20T14:48:51+00:00

I love how this message completely ignores having kids, which you most likely did in a marriage. You cannot do all these things with kids. LVM makes sure to impregnate and trap women. Maybe I'm taking things too personal. Lol

ChimeraSmith · 2020-09-20T20:40:04+00:00

Being also 40, this is a mindset I need to adapt. I hate that my ex put me a difficult financial situation. I need to stop thinking it’s too late to fix anything and I need a man to help me get through the rest of my life.

TheTower_14 · 2020-09-20T17:46:02+00:00

I can't be the only one my age (19) who doesn't want to get married or have kids. I saw what my mom had to go through with my father and it wasnt worth it. He sucked her dry, literally. Left her financially broken, caused her to lose way too much weight way too quickly, and caused her depression. Only for her to have to take care of 3 children on her own.

Even when they were married it was trash. She was working multiple jobs while going to school while my dusty ass dad was at home doing customer service. And he couldn't even do that right cause he lost his job. Now he wonders why all of his kids have issues with him and why we want to take care of our mother 🙄

OrchidLion · 2020-09-20T05:36:20+00:00

I like that it says 25. Sometimes I just don't know how to believe I have my whole life ahead. Feels like it's all downhill from 30

notabell88 · 2020-09-20T09:36:42+00:00

Despite being married to an abusive LVM, maybe because of this, I'm so glad my mother taught my sister and I this. And even in her situation she kept her independence so that when she finally gathered the courage to kick him out, she flourished! (My father....not so much lol).

To this day she tells us and encourage us to keep up skilling, having our own group of friends outside the couple, social life, travel. That our lives should be also about us and that we should not be attached or depend on any man.

killerjewels · 2020-09-20T09:53:21+00:00

I just logged in, I’m 25 just left a bad relationship, this message is for me

pooperscooper303 · 2020-09-20T11:26:38+00:00

I’m 27 and I’ve wasted so many years on depression l, anxiety, bad decisions and PTSD from an abusive relationship. It felt good to hear this, because sometimes I feel like I missed my chance and my life is over.

psw25 · 2020-09-20T15:06:15+00:00

I am 33 now but when I was 30 I thought this is it. Had a shitty job and was soon going to be downsized had an education from a crappy school. I should just accept my life as it is, but something snapped. I worked hard and got into a top business school and at the same time I interviewed and got in to a dream company in my industry. I softmaxxed my looks with the extra money I now had and soon enough every guy I wanted was chasing me. Even the ones who turned me down before. Now I don’t feel like settling down with any guy if he is not the absolute one. With advancements in fertility you can have some control over your biology. Just remember ladies work hard and only for yourself.

sulschuu · 2020-09-21T00:13:49+00:00

THIS. Especially coming from a Middle Eastern household. I'm 24 now and I've already gotten a taste of family members asking when I plan on marrying. Why waste your 20s searching for a man when you can take that time to find, build and enjoy yourself? It makes me happy to see more and more women begin to love themselves.

disillusionedideals · 2020-09-21T02:34:54+00:00

I wish I had someone to give me this message when I was 25. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and frustration.

Darkness_Pure · 2020-09-20T14:34:54+00:00

It has taken me far too long to realize this! I started school this year I’ll be finished in about 4 with one degree. I have no desire to date (plus my kiddo says I can’t lol) and I just want some time to work on me. It’s so weird that guys don’t understand this. I’ve had so many just be totally confused because I’m just not interested. Yes I’m pretty, yes I’m intelligent, but hell no I’m not giving you the time of day.

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DJayne42 · 2020-09-20T06:27:12+00:00

Wish I had understood this when I was 19.

2020-09-20T08:42:20+00:00

This needs to be normalized. Thanks for sharing.

2020-09-20T11:02:40+00:00

💖 LOUDER

soulfoodcrushing · 2020-09-20T14:01:59+00:00

Needed to read this not just today but this minute

probablySNOW_gold · 2020-09-20T14:17:49+00:00

Someone had to say it

hope-wallace · 2020-09-20T15:18:47+00:00

I wish I'd seen this 20 years ago...

But I am pleased to report that I can have that attitude at 42. Post-divorce, I have furthered my education, strengthened my friendships, improved my finances (easy to do when you're not married to someone who can't/won't use a checkbook or discuss money), planned vacations to be fun not cheap, and given up people-pleasing. I may get to dating again, but if I never have a LTR again, I won't mind. So liberating!

BrokenMindedMama · 2020-09-20T15:45:14+00:00

I wish someone slapped me with this before I got married 😅 like literally slapped my across the face with it.

012596 · 2020-09-20T21:06:18+00:00

definitely needed to hear this. I felt so wrecked when my long term relationship ended because I felt awful about having to start new at age 24.

berned-out · 2020-09-21T03:39:49+00:00

I'd like to mention that IN MY LIFETIME women have gained the rights to lease apartments, own homes, get a credit card, buy contraception, and be protected from marital rape, and other assorted human rights that we didn't have before. So there's a really good reason we all thought you had to have a man or panic and die trying. Because not having a good one was extra risky. And the good ones got taken fast. It's that simple. Oh, also, us older ladies are mad proud of these generations after us. Mad proud. PLEASE VOTE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

berned-out · 2020-09-21T04:04:57+00:00

"The most common way people give up their power, is by thinking they don't have any." ~Alice Walker

areyoupunk · 2020-09-20T10:56:23+00:00

I’m 24 and just got out for a 16 month relationship. It hurts thinking about the amount of time, effort and money I put into him and it was not given to me in return. It stressed me out so much, I am in antidepressants. But I have to remember I still have time. I wanted to be married by 25 but that won’t happened.

Title	✔️
Author	curlygirl507
Upvotes	3066
Comments	110
Date	September 20, 2020 5:02 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iw7ql1/_/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/267307 https://theredarchive.com/post/267307

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