Ain't that the truth.

am-I-doing-it-right · 2020-05-24T16:09:29+00:00

My ex had nothing nice to say about any of his ex’s and I ate it up and wanted to show him how I was different. Is this a form of triangulation? He told me he was so hurt from his last relationship and wasn’t ready to commit to something official. Also told me he didn’t deserve me and he was right. I’m just glad I set boundaries for myself when things got bad and I left but still 🤡🤡🤡

-wide-set-vagina- · 2020-05-24T16:56:24+00:00

He told me he broke up with his ex because she was asexual and it killed the relationship, he felt unwanted etc. Me being dumb went “you poor thing, sexual connection is so important. I would never blah blah pickme blah”. Unsurprisingly, he’s just fucking AWFUL in bed and I never wanted to fuck him either!

cirrus_cloud · 2020-05-24T14:40:13+00:00

It’s always a red flag to me if a guy puts down all of his exes, or shirks all responsibility for the relationships ending.

He will ALWAYS treat you the way he treated them ladies. Don’t think you’re “different than other girls” lol 🤡

plentyofvengeance · 2020-05-24T14:56:19+00:00

A mutual friend told me that my abusive ex got a new girlfriend. A part of me wants to tell her but no way that will end well😭

burnerbabee · 2020-05-24T14:38:35+00:00

[deleted]

slanid · 2020-05-24T17:28:23+00:00

I ditched my garbage, cheating, abusive baby daddy for a extremely HVM that I don’t have to beg to be a family. His gf recently told me I ask ex to keep our child a fair amount so I can see him, and I’m sad that my life didn’t turn out great like hers 🥴. I had to laugh. He bragged about cheating on her the entirety of 2019, while my dude was starting a business, bought us a house, and proposed.

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2020-05-24T16:36:28+00:00

My ex is probably doing the same thing right now. Broke up with him and he’s all over twitter liking any female’s pictures for attention and being salty. I’m over it at this point, but don’t forget when I paid for your transportation to college, food for when you were hungry, and just being there when you cried bc life got too hard. So if you shit on me just remember how much I was there 😚 bc as usual, I have receipts and screenshots

Elisa_LaViudaNegra · 2020-05-24T17:06:48+00:00

My NVM ex painted himself the victim in all his breakups, and yet claimed to be cool with all of them. Still does to this day, publicly, despite the fact that this ex (pointing to myself) would pretend not to see him if I saw him in public and we haven’t spoken in years. His obsession with putting forth an image speaks to a problem no woman can solve.

jackrusselterror1 · 2020-05-24T17:37:35+00:00

Yep. My ex is probably out there taking credit for what I did in the relationship. I know this because while I was in the relationship he tried pulling that bullshit ON ME, the person who knew he couldn’t even reliably bring the trash out. He would come up to me and complain about the mess in the kitchen he made and had the audacity to say he couldn’t do everything. He didn’t even do anything chore-wise, what’s this shit about everything?

I hope that the girl sees his apartment and runs, because I have no hope that he actually became a functional adult since I dumped him, and if she doesn’t she should probably go ahead and buy a maid costume because that’s what he wants out of a relationship.

PrisonIsBoring · 2020-05-24T19:47:03+00:00

HV trait = literally never mentioning ex’s.

Capable_Okra · 2020-05-24T16:18:02+00:00

I just declined someone on OLD because he told me he was going through a difficult divorce with an "increasingly crazy ex"... Divorce aside, the fact that he called his ex "increasingly crazy" told me all I need to know about his opinion of women

xHouse_of_Hornetsx · 2020-05-24T16:52:48+00:00

My current boyfriend and his ex wife are friends and he has naught a bad word to say about her. They were together for like 20 years and got divorced cuz emotional distance. Green flags 🥰

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-05-24T20:19:43+00:00

I've actually been "that idiot". Let me tell you. IF A MAN TALKS ABOUT HIS EX LIKE SHE'S CRAZY, RUN! IT'S RED FLAG. If he's got NOTHING nice to say about his ex.... RUN. If it's all her fault and not a peep is uttered about his role in the relationship. RUN. That's a narcissist.

TheOGJammies · 2020-05-24T16:49:37+00:00

LMAOOOOO

FACTS ON FACTS

2020-05-24T15:17:42+00:00

[deleted]

andersdn · 2020-05-24T17:53:20+00:00

When I was still friends with my husband, he was talking about his most recent ex. He said he loved her and they broke up because he wanted kids and she didn't. We were developing feelings for eachother and it stung for a hot second that he could still say he loved her but honestly it just showed his character. That he was able to love someone despite disagreeing with her and mature enough to end a relationship when their ideologies didn't match up. He was honest and didn't just say "man, she was CrAZy."

QuebecMadonna · 2020-05-24T22:55:48+00:00

I’m always suspicious when a man tells me his ex was crazy. Serious🚩. I tell myself Im prolly the next crazy ex.

Postcardtoalake · 2020-05-24T19:48:15+00:00

I think of her as a predator’s prey who does not yet know how to deal with this piece of crap that you threw away, who is now preying on this uneducated woman.

2020-05-24T20:07:57+00:00

He’s still talking about you

lolwtfnodude · 2020-05-25T01:16:08+00:00

My ex would describe me as:

'She's so lazy and selfish. She made me get A JOB so she's obviously a gold digger. She wouldn't work full time to support both of us so I can keep sitting on my ass all day playing video games, so she's obviously just using me. Yeah she worked 2 jobs for a couple years there, while also studying, BUT I paid rent for a few months. Yeah she still paid for all our other living expenses, but still, Im SO GENEROUS. She was so pushy about it too, insisting we pay rent EVERY SINGLE WEEK. She needs to chill tf out. Its no big deal.

She eventually went back for postgrad study because she's too lazy to work, and academia is SO MUCH EASIER. She doesn't cook or clean nearly as well as my Mummy does. She said she wanted more sex, that I need to put EFFORT into pleasing her. But then after ignoring her all day while she begs for my attention/help/acknowledgement of her existence, we go to bed and SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO TOUCH HER. Women, so confusing.

She thinks she's so much better than me because shes at UNIVERSITY while I can't even READ and struggle to hold down a JOB. But my family has more money than hers, so she's still beneath me.

I'm so much happier with you, baby. You're perfect for me: no self-esteem, no pesky ambitions, and terrified of being alone, so I know you'll stand by me no matter how terrible the abuse gets ❤'

Damn. I'm not bitter at all am I?

When my ex does get a new gf I should buy that poor girl a drink.

michelleciao · 2020-05-24T22:00:59+00:00

My ex told me his ex gf accused him of cheating but that he denied it. Then proceeded to cheat on me too. Later, his friend told me he also denied cheating on me although I had proof. Plus that other girl came forth and told me.

chickenery · 2020-05-24T21:55:28+00:00

Unless she knowingly helped him cheat or hurt you in some way, why put her down? Sis, you dated his ass too. If she’s dumb, so are you. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Let’s lift up women who are getting clowned by LVM. Just hope she sees through him faster than you did.

UnofficialUnicorn · 2020-05-24T16:40:18+00:00

Lulz

heartbreak69 · 2020-05-24T18:03:00+00:00

I dated one dude very briefly whose exes all seemed to have dangerous, deep-seated psycological anger disorders. After we broke up, a friend told me that he was telling people I shouldn't be around kids because of my extreme anger issues.

By that point, I had figured out for myself that none of his exes likely had actual anger problems, though I didn't doubt his stories about times they had become very angry at him: he was infuriating. Hell, the women in his degree program didn't trust him, because he "tried to be nice"! He told me this whole story about that, which at first I took as evidence of those women being total b's, but I soon realized was a story about him being super creepy. He worked on a project with a woman who liked Pepsi. He went to her place to study once, and everything was ok. Then, a few days later, he showed up unannounced and uninvited, with a flat of Pepsi. She received him very cooly, and then told the professsor she wanted a new partner (I should mention here he was in his early/mid 30's: he was at least 10 years older than most of his classmates, including myself). Of course, that whole story was about how women are mean to him, boo hoo. But, he was always either being a creep or being intentionally infuriating. I would yell at him for things like coming to my house unannounced when we weren't dating, or acting like a clingy, jealous boyfriend if we went somewhere as friends, so of course I have a total "anger problem"!

spiceandwine · 2020-05-24T18:34:29+00:00

I needed to see this today! I had a long, bad dream last night where I was all alone and he was drowning in new choices. Thank goodness I have this place to remind me how good it is that I got out!

ilovewoofles123 · 2020-05-24T22:06:16+00:00

My ex legit left me for his best friend. Someone that was in a relationship for five years, and as soon as she left the guy he broke up with me blaming me for his depression. They’re together now. He has his Instagram on private but I know. They’re supposedly really happy together but that guy was a MESS. He mooched off of me, used me as an emotional sponge, and had anger issues. I even loaned him 5.5k... I let him live with me rent free, cooked for him, etc. His only chore was dishes. He would forget so often and I realized he didn’t forget, he just didn’t care. He blamed his depression on the fact he couldn’t even do dishes.

Someone he told me not to worry about the whole time we were dating. No wonder he didn’t ever let me meet her. No wonder he hid his meetings with her from me. I didn’t want to be ‘that’ girl but he made me feel so confused, crazy, etc. How dare he make me feel so invalidated. I will always trust my gut. He liked her in high school but she rejected him as she was dating her ex at the time.

I can only hope he has that grass is greener mentality. But he’s been pining after this girl for years. However, I can’t help but feel so upset and angry at how much he screwed me over financially. My dog back home would have been a better roommate. All I know is that him and his best friend started dating as soon as he was on a break with me... They’ve been dating for since February now. I can’t help but wonder if she’s treating him as a rebound or if they actually really had feelings for each other.

paperbackbaker · 2020-05-24T22:08:38+00:00

My Ex-Husband (I know) bragged....i repeat BRAGGED about how he took his ex to Europe and on the Paris leg "she got annoying and controlling causing them to argue which is when he THREW the engagement ring at her" 24 yr old paperbackbaker NOOO RUNAWAY!!!!!!!

2020-05-24T23:56:22+00:00

... Or that girl has visited FDS and she’s keeping a straight face while he shows off his red flags.

wootykins · 2020-05-25T01:24:17+00:00

Pickmeisha Storytime:

The morning after our first date we ate out for breakfast, my ex disclosed that he had previously been engaged to someone he dated for seven years. However, it didn’t work out because he was traveling a lot for his job, and her bipolar disorder caused her to be paranoid and suspicious/jealous during long periods when he was out-of-state traveling. "I traveled a lot and she couldn't handle it, got paranoid."

Red Flag 1: Mentioning of exes on the first date. This suggests to me he still has some pain over the relationship. Focus should be on me - someone new, not the past.

Red Flag 2: At first, I thought, “Oh, he’s being vulnerable. He’s being upfront and honest.” He was feigning vulnerability to manipulate me into being vulnerable too.

Red Flag 3: Blame-shifting. He blames his ex-fiancee’s mental health condition as the downfall of the relationship. It takes two to tango, buddy!

Red Flag 4: Long-term commitment without marriage.

As someone who had depression, instead of hating his ex-girlfriend, I felt empathetic. Being away from your loved one for extended periods of time can take a toll. I was also afraid he'd lose interest if he found out about my depression.

It also fueled my insecurities about comparing myself with people from my ex's past. I asked him if he would consider getting back with her. He said she’s married now. However, his mom still talks to his ex-fiancée and “loves her.” He and his mom were estranged during his teenage years, and she was the reason he and his mom started talking again after years of ignoring each other.

Red Flag 5: He was idealizing his previous relationship with an attempt at triangulating me. It made me feel like I was never going to add up to his ex-girlfriend.

Anyways, fast-forward to later, I started feeling anxious, and my gut feeling was telling me something wasn't right, and that I should leave. Looking back, I realized it was these covert put-downs he said that slowly eroded at me. One day, I left him to go home and it bruised his ego he initiated the breakup. He was pretty nasty at the end of the breakup, which made me realize how narcissistic he was. In the end I learned that you should always trust your feelings.

DelusionalHappiness · 2020-05-24T17:01:28+00:00

Lmao My current situation.

2020-05-24T17:09:31+00:00

Its so good to see that we all learned from this very specific mistake. I will never again believe a man that calls his ex "crazy". Never.

AP__ · 2020-05-25T00:08:26+00:00

I broke off my engagement and now he’s dating my best friend’s sister- she’s moving across the country to live with him up the street from me and I cannot wait to bust out the popcorn and watch the shit storm. (I swear this is not taken from an episode of Jerry Springer)

tw231116 · 2020-05-25T10:45:29+00:00

I found out about my ex's new girlfriend when I learned he was cheating on me with her... I laid out all the evidence and she stayed, probably because he painted me as the "crazy ex". Wonder how long that shiny new feeling lasted? 🤡

0kfornow · 2020-05-24T22:01:55+00:00

Ahahahahah 😂 yeah....

AlarmedSunflower · 2020-05-24T22:45:24+00:00

I was on good terms with my ex’s and then later found out they all have a group together and became close friends dont know how to feel about that 🤡🤡

Postcardtoalake · 2020-05-24T19:51:05+00:00

Does/has anyone else have female “friends” who do this too?! I had so many. It’s was gross and terrifying to be used by so many women.

I was in NYC she I met most of them, but that explains a lot. I hate that city and how little it prioritizes friendships, and how women there use other women as stand-ins for men.

soundsfromoutside · 2020-05-24T17:26:27+00:00

My ex told everyone who would listen to him that we had threesomes, I tried to open our relationship up, I was jealous and wouldn’t let him talk to anyone, I would cheat on him, I was a drunk and a druggie who just wanted to party, I liked a variety of sex toys, I would beg him for sex....

None of that was true but for a long time after we broke up, nearly all his friends hit me up asking if I wanted to chill so if he did anything, he made me look pretty cool to them 🤷🏽‍♀️

ShowMeTheHoneyPot · 2020-05-24T19:58:15+00:00

Well, three by definition, but sure.

mastercucumber02 · 2020-05-24T21:36:33+00:00

I would love to know how many of these guys who called their exes crazy tried to go back to them when they started to miss the relationship....

itwasthethirdofsept · 2020-05-24T21:56:04+00:00

Amen to that

Sampad123 · 2020-05-25T01:30:36+00:00

Haha hahahahaha HHaha!!!!!!

xihung123 · 2020-05-25T02:11:32+00:00

My ex would shit talk me to his friends and accuse me of doing it too to justify it during our relationship. I see my ex's friends posting him in toxic relationship memes. Little do they know how he's actually like

bowlaris · 2020-05-25T04:14:53+00:00

Damn right.

JayMichelle818 · 2020-05-25T07:20:57+00:00

My last relationship was toxic af because we both had unresolved trauma and not-dealt-with baggage. I know he’s probably got an arsenal of bad things he could say about me. I just hope that one day he can resolve what he’s dealing with and make peace with what happened between us. Wish him the best always.

chungkingxbricks · 2020-05-26T03:19:54+00:00

That was me sadly but not again!

ms_monquis · 2020-05-26T22:18:32+00:00

Mine sure did.

And then SURPRISE! She emailed me to cry about it when he cheated on HER with a friend of hers. No shit. But don't kid yourself — us both being victimized by the same POS does not make us allies. Hopefully it did make her a little more self-aware, but I wouldn't take that bet.

Title	Ain't that the truth.
Author	Sage_Planter
Upvotes	2610
Comments	121
Date	May 24, 2020 2:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gpqjro/aint_that_the_truth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/aint-that-the-truth.675303 https://theredarchive.com/post/675303

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