Following on from a comment thread in the weekly discussion post, I thought it would be a good idea to start a post where we give examples of jealousy in LVM. In my experience I have quite a blinkered view on what jealousy is and what it can look like, and it would be really good if we could list as many different examples as possible to show how varied manifestations of jealousy are. Then we can discuss common themes, whether someone else's example has triggered us to reevaluate an interaction we once had with someone, whether we think we would miss that example if it happened to us in real life, etc.

Here's some to get us started:

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  • My ex, not liking that I was achieving a higher degree than him, would belittle it as "something to keep me occupied" and try placing himself in a teacher role. I took issue with both of these things at the time but didn't attribute it to jealousy, which with hindsight it was.
  • Another lvm would say that degrees are a waste of time and just a way for people to stay in the education system forever. I missed this at the time because he phrased it as a general comment and not explicitly aimed at me, even though the conversation was about me. He very much did not have a degree and fell into the job he had.
  • Unpleasant incidents/interactions before/after the thing he was jealous of took place - he didn't like that he had not been invited to a party with me. He offered to give me a lift and drove dangerously, then refused to come pick me up. I hadn't clicked any of this was related to each other and didn't give it much thought but he outright said it (as an 'apology' when I was drunk at home) later on, presumably because he was pissed off that him not giving me a lift home meant I got a lift from someone else, and I had a really good time in the car, and he needed me to understand that doing things like not inviting him to a party would typically mean I'd get punished in some way.
  • Sabotage - he would turn my alarm off because he did not want me going out and wanted to cause friction to destroy my work relationships and career (his was dead end because he was an asshole)
  • False news - me and a LVM were in the running for a promotion at work. I got it, he didn't. He tried telling me afterwards that the contract was really bad and I would lose money on it. I didn't humour him and told him he was wrong. He tried to wriggle out of it by saying it must have been changed since he looked at it.

These are all rather specific but I think we need to cover the more vague/circumstancial ones too, eg you dated down and they kept trying to get you to take time off work to hang out with them