She asks them to hold each other responsible. They retaliate with garbage comments as expected, thread gets locked.

CelebrationKey · 2020-08-07T18:23:51+00:00

You post anything female positive or critical of men if you are a women- you get rape threats. Should see my DMs.

indaazz1 · 2020-08-07T18:41:15+00:00

They took down her post because SHE’S RIGHT.

myousername · 2020-08-07T19:09:08+00:00

Lmao men get so triggered when we ask them to be better and hold other men accountable like "NO, IT IS MY GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO HARASS, RAPE, AND MURDER WOMEN!!!! AND IF WOMEN ARE IN PUBLIC, THEY DESERVE IT!!"

achelois_healer · 2020-08-07T19:09:37+00:00

I think about this all the damn time!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t hike in the woods, travel the world alone, walk the streets at night without looking over my shoulder or fearing something might happen to me.

seraphinelysion · 2020-08-07T19:34:02+00:00

Of course. Women are supposed to take “men’s issues” seriously but it come to issues that affect women and our very SAFETY not only do men not have to take them seriously but they can threaten, harass and bully us into to trying to stay silent. If men didn’t have double standards then they wouldn’t have any standards at all.

Hampered-Siren · 2020-08-07T19:09:24+00:00

If there were no men for a day I could go to my favorite spot on the river

If there were no men for a day I could go for a hike at my favorite park

If there were no men for a day I wouldn't have to worry about leaving the grocery store after dark

If there were no men for a day I could fish at my favorite fishing hole with out any worries

idiopathictendencies · 2020-08-07T20:26:14+00:00

I commented on that post! As a runner, I REFUSE to take shit from men catcalling me etc. I ended my comment stating that I was prepared to fight a man even if it meant my death. Women should not have to modify what we do simply to stay out of harm’s way.

ivarteefies · 2020-08-07T19:36:32+00:00

I had enough of this last year and got my covid dog (I didn't plan to get my pup during a pandemic as lockdowns dropped, I brought him home the day before the news came out - just in the nick of time). I live in an area where it gets super cold in the winter and that was my only time I felt safe, because no one else is ever out and about in snow and sub zero temperatures. I got depressed as spring started to come because I knew that the sex pests and rapists would be out in nicer weather. Hence, I got my best friend and I feel so much safer when I do go out. No one really bothers me now.

**Edit - the incident that made me say NO MORE was being on a pedestrian bridge. It was sunset, later fall, so not many people around. Some guy blocked the bridge with his bike so I couldn't get past. Proceeded to rant and rave about how he wanted a woman like his mom, to love and take care of him. Then asked me to go home with him. Then was asking to come to my home. When he started pushing his bike to herd me back into the park (fear, the gift was buzzing), I flipped my shit like a banshee from hell. The light from a house across the street came on and he took off, but not before asking for change for a drink. I was lucky.

Villanelloh · 2020-08-07T20:41:31+00:00

There was a thread recently started by a man who finally understood why women don't go out alone at night. To think that all his life up until that point consisted of him - and most of the other male commenters - believing "There's nothing wrong with walking through parks at night what are you so afraid of LOLOLOL" until a woman had to explain it to him in very simple terms is scary.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-08-07T20:09:25+00:00

It's sad that these guy's can't take some responsibility or at least say 'You know what, this is horrible. I'll do whatever I can to make this world a better place, even if it's a little gesture'.

Seeing how men react in these situations/discussions in real life is an extremely good indicator of his values. I use it as a vetting technique.

mysthios · 2020-08-07T20:06:06+00:00

100% relate. I’m trying to organize a female only casual running group at uni for this very reason. This is just so sad and the fact the men have the audacity to go after her is just horrendous

flowers4u · 2020-08-08T00:11:45+00:00

I was just having this convo with a friend that yes men do get raped and yes it is traumatic and horrible. But men aren’t getting raped by walking down a street at night and held at gun point and raped and left for pretty much dead. Women don’t do that.

Unable_Caterpillar · 2020-08-07T19:18:04+00:00

[deleted]

CrownWaster · 2020-08-07T23:10:31+00:00

I used to run outside at a trail near my condo. I had to pass by a certain restaurant that had a reputation for being a meat market, and would HATE going there because of comments about my legs and butt in my tights. Someone said I should just be flattered. It was not flattering - it’s why I bought a treadmill to run from home.

goshemo · 2020-08-07T20:13:24+00:00

I had a friend in college who was murdered on a path she usually ran at by some guy who just wanted to do it. She was genuinely kind and wonderful. After that it was a big wake-up call to stay on paths where there are people. My dog is medium sized but she will lunge at people passing. I think her and a well placed "hidden" knife is a deterrent, but I really wonder what it would be like to not have to take any precaution or extra steps just to run on a trail or be alone at night. :/

FollowTheSparks · 2020-08-07T22:56:34+00:00

Went hiking for the first time by myself yesterday afternoon, despite wanting to do this for years. I’m 28 and it’s the first time I’ve gotten the guts. I watched my back the entire time. Yes I did it, but was not nearly as enjoyable as it would’ve been if I didn’t have to worry about getting caught alone and killed.

It’s so fucking upsetting to hear the “not all men” bullshit from guys who can’t tell up from down. They’ll say “well how many women actually get raped or killed in the woods?” And it’s like - I’ve been harassed by men in public consistently throughout my life, and that’s while other people were around to see it. So why should I assume men will behave unsupervised? No. No trust, and none deserved.

SeaHerSwim · 2020-08-08T01:21:22+00:00

I posted a reply on that page (in another post) recently how I read somewhere about a woman who would go running while holding a hammer. I have thought about doing this many times, maybe a hammer in one hand & pepper spray in the other! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “double fisting”! Sad that we even have to think about this.... 😔

Oityouthere · 2020-08-07T19:38:23+00:00

It's so shit being guilty of being a woman that we are never safe anywhere! |AAaaaahhhhhhh

No where near the same, but about two years ago I was on a massive weight loss plan. I have a pear shaped figure and so had just gotten used to the fact that I could wear bikinis to swim in as my hips were twice the size of my upper part. (I hate the fact that I have to justify my decision for clothing choice already)

My bikini was white and I used that gym all of the time so I new most of the people who worked there. They'd watch me go from Obese to overweight and I was finally getting to a healthy weight.

Whilst I was doing laps, this new male lifeguard stops me, tells me that I have to leave because I'm not appropriately dressed. Like WTF mate. I shouted at him to fuck off and motioned to another guard that knew I was a regular. He apologised profusely for the new guards behaviour but I was too stressed to deal with it.

Am I appropriately covered- Yes. The fact that he'd been leering enough to wonder about my swim wear is ridiculous, especially since the facility I attend has 3 indoor pools (I was in one of them) and an outdoor lido. Where he was stationed, I have no idea how long he'd been staring at me. I complained to the head office who ignored my emails until I went on social media.

adertina · 2020-08-07T21:25:44+00:00

A good note for the "not like other girls" camp: If youre the only girl in a group or place you'll find out why soon

jenneschguet · 2020-08-08T01:31:14+00:00

I participate in this sub, and originally everyone was very supportive. The trolls must have caught wind of it; so sad...

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-08-08T07:42:41+00:00

This makes me so furious. And she’s right, even just with the most benign act of watching / staring at women / even just doing a double take, it’s all demonstrating how we are not allowed to just take up and be in a space without being all eyes on us. I’m sick of this whole objectifying culture. Men literally whipping their heads around to catch a glimpse of a woman walking, because she might be attractive. Who fucking cares! Why is that even such a focus.

And then like I said, that’s just the most innocent act, but it’s been so normalised that harassment of a verbal or physical nature is so normalised now. People don’t even bat an eyelid or will say “well it’s because you look sexy” oh ok, that makes it ok does it.

SarcasmSlide · 2020-08-08T13:43:11+00:00

I’m a runner and participate regularly in that sub. I watched this unfold and was very, very disappointed. Men will never for even a moment be able to imagine what it’s like to be us.

TheOGJammies · 2020-08-08T03:52:15+00:00

The facts don’t care about feelings until we’re talking about male pattern violence.

plummyjellyfish · 2020-08-08T11:29:40+00:00

I have partial Niuean ancestry via my Grandma, and have spent a lot of time on the Pacific Islands growing up. Niue island, for the record, doesn't really have a jail. If you're making a ruckus, you'll end up in the police station and get a stern talking to, but that's the extent of it because there's no crime. It's a combination of being very Christian (for good or for ill), having little to no inequalities (everyone is basically in the same boat), and a tiny population (community bonds are strong).

Anyway, I was in Apia, Samoa one time when I was a teenager (more developed/populated than Niue island for sure but still has the same atmosphere). And I thought to myself, a 16 year old girl wandering around at night in Auckland would be in a dangerous spot - and NZ is a safe country compared to many others!

But on the islands, a woman can walk around freely without fear. And I think that's something that stayed with me, how as women, we basically have fear as our silent companion for the rest of our lives. Women are very strong for coping day-to-day with the constant danger that just comes from being female in a world run by males.

Half_Halt · 2020-08-08T15:53:19+00:00

I'm a mid-level jiu jitsu fighter & did a couple ammy mma bouts when I was younger. Much to the chagrin of the (male) gym owners I'm openly, vocally critical of "self-defense for women" classes. Especially when taught by men. (I'm still critical of them when taught by women. But that's too much to unpack in this post & I've only seen ONE taught by women, anyway.) Why? Because they just don't fucking get it & therefore them teaching women's self defense flat out dangerous. Don't run with headphones on. I don't know one woman who does! Be aware of your surroundings walking out to your car at night. What woman do you know that doesn't already walk out to her car head on a swivel, keys clenched between the knuckles of one hand & mace in the other? It's garbage. They cannot get it because they literally cannot conceptualize the situations in which women face danger BECAUSE THOSE SITUATIONS AREN'T DANGEROUS FOR THEM.

I tagged along on my dude's business trip to California a few years ago. He was in meetings all day & I went & did my own thing & met up with him in the evening. One night he had a dinner meeting so I went out to eat at a sushi place we'd gone to 2 days before. Why would you do that? How boring. Because it's Long Beach & kind of shady at night & I knew the restaurant was calm & safe & the walk to/from was short & on streets with lots of other pedestrians. Mentioned walking a mile out of the way to avoid an area that looked shady when I ventured out to a cute shopping area. Why would you do that?

Why? Because I'm a 5'2", 117 lbs woman. And you're a 6', 190 lbs SWAT commander packing a concealed carry. And we're in California for your Tactical Officers annual conference. That's why. Dude, you've scraped dead women off the pavement many times, I'm sure. He acknowledged he had. You really don't get it? Well... He DID worry about me taking an Uber to the airport alone. I worry a little about Ubers but they're not a red alert level situation. I'm able to verify we're on the correct route following the map on the app & close quarters fighting is in my wheelhouse.

As I said to my bff later, what struck me was he wasn't being obtuse. He just couldn't assign threat assessment levels correctly because his experiences as a physically imposing male with advanced tactical training are just too different from mine. For sure, I have the advantage of being able to fight. But I'm a small woman & have no illusions of trying to win against a real life male attacker. I'm fighting to get the hell out of Dodge alive & that is all. To dude's credit, it did seem to make him think because he's been teaching his preschool aged daughter to fight ever since. But geeez. And I know men get attacked (by other men, natch.) Male on male violence situations are usually dramatically different from male on female violence, though.

2020-08-08T05:33:19+00:00

I guess it depends on where you live. Or whether or not you have dogs because I literally run at night and on trails alllllllll the time.

PmMeYourFountainPens · 2020-08-09T18:17:50+00:00

Recently I went running on a track at a middle school. Lots of traffic in the area, but no one uses this track during the day. After I’d been running for a few minutes a man started walking the track. I didn’t get bad vibes, but I kept some distance.

THEN... this second man pulls his truck in and parks it at the only entrance/exit. He gets out and he’s not even wearing workout clothes. He’s wearing jeans and he’s at the far end of the track from me. He starts sprinting around the track and he’s going to gain on me by the time I’m near his truck. As he’s running, he’s looking over at me, but trying to make it look like he isn’t. My spidey senses are telling me this is a bad situation. I sprint for my car and head for the blocked exit. I have to drive my car into the ditch and risk getting stuck to get around his truck. I made it out alive though.

And that’s the story of the time I almost got abducted in the middle of a nice sunny day. I’ll never go running without my gun again. 🙃

2020-08-07T23:09:34+00:00

It’s easy for men to say “not all men”, than to stand up to other men. Just because you don’t harass or assault women doesn’t make you a good person. Being inactive is bad too.

However, there have been cases of men helping, and women turning against them/getting hurt in the process, so I can see why some men are hesitant.

In saying that, I believe more women need to arm themselves. Only you are responsible for your safety.

Title	She asks them to hold each other responsible. They retaliate with garbage comments as expected, thread gets locked.
Author	sexualfoodpantry
Upvotes	593
Comments	58
Date	August 7, 2020 6:16 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i5iygt/she_asks_them_to_hold_each_other_responsible_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/she-asks-them-to-hold-each-other-responsible-they.722706 https://theredarchive.com/post/722706

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