i had a falling out once (some years ago) with one of my closest friends and she admitted that she liked me more when i was single.

and it was painful at the time because...the truth was, i liked myself better too, (when i was single) so i didn't know what to say to defend myself.

she apologized afterward, but i was never actually offended. and it stuck in my head for years. i'm passing it on here because i think there is something to it.

in my own life, my favorite women are either currently single or were single when i was drawn to them.

and i think it's because there's just something really uplifting about (happily) single women's...energy maybe? or aura? women who are not distracted or stressed by men are more insightful. warm. interesting. charming. fun. there is a beauty (for lack of better word) around them. it seems like when women don't give all of themselves to one man, they spread their love all around. and that beauty, or energy, or peace, or happiness - or whatever you want to call it - is infectious, addictive and pleasant to be around.

my least favorite women (in my own life, not necessarily in general, so this isn't meant to be offensive) are women who have been married for a long time. :(

women in new relationships are hard to be around too.

i've been in a relationship for a few years now and i have this thought a lot lately - that i liked myself better, before. i don't know what to make of it.

like i mentioned, i think there is something to it.

and the reverse is true for men. single men are the actual worst. married men are so much more tolerable.

anyway. all this is to say: i know that when you're searching for a partner it's easy to fall into loneliness (and maybe even self pity), but try to remember to enjoy yourself when you're single! your single years might very well be the best years of your life so make sure to pause and appreciate yourself while you are fully YOU. solitude is typically a unique chapter. even if you think you'll stay single forever by choice (i used to think this) you can't control falling in love, so you never REALLY know what might happen. so remember to appreciate yourself. and know that you might even be a beacon in people's lives without even noticing it.

also, i really think this is why bitter and unhappy women push relationships onto other women so much (and shame singledom) alongside men. i think they're privately envious of single women's freedom, peace and power and it bothers them to see something they can't have.