Thoughts on my new theory on why many men prefer dogs to cats?

chasingastarl1ght · 2021-01-27T14:48:10+00:00

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watershipdowners · 2021-01-27T11:06:13+00:00

In forenscis, boys/men harming cats is a prognosticator for violence/sexual violence against women. They have a long association with women in history. Many children think "dogs are boys, cats are girls". Often, serial killers torture cats before moving to women. Cats show independence and autonomy. Men who don't like cats may dislike having something smaller than them that they can't control. Real red flag, backed up by psychology, criminology and facts.

Sunbeam87 · 2021-01-27T13:01:04+00:00

That man does not know any cats. They are highly affectionate and loyal if you treat them with the respect they demand😸

weekend111 · 2021-01-27T11:49:52+00:00

They seem to believe cats only love you for food. They can’t conceive a relationship that isn’t transactional.

A relationship with a cat isn’t transactional. They love you and they really do, but on their own terms. This only makes earning the love of one all the more sweet 💜

MLane81 · 2021-01-27T12:23:23+00:00

That’s because with cats, you have to nurture their individual personality and earn their love before they love you back. Men are too lazy for that much work.

2021-01-27T16:59:13+00:00

Men also prefer male dogs because male dogs are more clingy and dependent. Just like how they want women to be.

Female dogs are more independent and leas clingy. They dont want, attention all the time. They are smarter than male dogs (it's true!).

I had a male dog and 3 females dogs. Never getting a male again He was a sweet boy and I miss him so much. But he was such a handful. Constantly begging for attention even after a long walk and play everyday. He marked a bunch of furniture. And he was pretty hard to train. I miss him so much. He had to be put him down due to a brain tumor causing agression.

My females have all been relaxed. 2 of my 3 females dogs were super smart. The other one was derpy. I have a female border collie who was potty trained in a day! Shes the only one alive now. All my other females died of old age. I lost my cockapoo last year. She died at the age of 16 so she lived a full life :)

If I'm going to get another dog, it's going to be female. They are just less messy and listen better imo. Male dogs get too distracted.

plummyjellyfish · 2021-01-28T00:51:51+00:00

I am a cat lover but I like animals in general and appreciate nature.

That said, I believe Mark Twain summed it up best: "A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well."
- "Winter-end Excursion to the Sutherd" (1902)

In my experience, this has been true for men and women. I have found that people who are caring towards cats tend to be what I consider upright people. Liking dogs on the other hand isn't an indication of anything, they could be nice or jerks, who knows.

oh_shit_oh_fuck · 2021-01-27T11:18:05+00:00

Cats have boundaries. I always find it very telling when dog nutters hate cats, and it’s because unlike dogs, cats domesticated themselves, thus weren’t bred to be anywhere as needy or whatever screwed up trait a dog has. It takes time to earn a cat’s trust and friendship. A lot of men don’t like that.

EarthKveik · 2021-01-27T13:56:04+00:00

Fish and reptiles are also excellent empathy tests.

Their abuse is still borderline socially acceptable since so many people see them as "lower" animals. Any keeper worth a damn will make the effort to find out what their actual needs are and will meet them.
LV individuals often find their abuse funny and/or will neg or ridicule you for your concern for their needs.

dembar126 · 2021-01-27T11:11:01+00:00

It's always bc of misogyny. A man not liking cats is a huge red flag.

jargon_explosion · 2021-01-27T17:32:08+00:00

Dogs are fantastic animals. So are cats. So are other pets. You get the pet that suits your lifestyle the best and that you are willing and able to take care of. I don't think choosing one over the other means much of anything at face value.

If they hate animals, that's a concern, but if it's just that they don't want pets, there could be so many reasons.

If they love pets and have one and can't take care of it or let it get obese/unhealthy or neglect it, that's worse than choosing not to have one, in my opinion.

The most concerning thing about your story is why he loved dogs, not that he loved dogs. Also that he gets frustrated at animals for being animals.

pickadaisy · 2021-01-27T16:04:59+00:00

I’m a cat lover, but I do agree with other commenters that the bias to dog owners is too broadly applied. I’d be way more concerned about a guy who doesn’t own pets and never has. That’s just me personally though and not a general red flag.

Can’t even count the number of cat-owning men I’ve known who are LVM... 😂

Gourmay · 2021-01-27T18:11:45+00:00

Obviously I’m biased as a cat person but I’ve had much better experiences with men who liked or had cats. Cats have much stricter boundaries than dogs because they are considered to not be fully domesticated like dogs are, and I think symbolically that means something.

miss_peach94 · 2021-01-27T12:52:56+00:00

It's because dogs will worship a person even if they're an arse hole. With cats, you have to earn their trust/love. So men loving dogs makes perfect sense, they've also done studies on how dog lovers are more likely to be narcissists. Explains a lot doesn't it lol

jp2117515 · 2021-01-27T16:21:47+00:00

My mother is a huge dog lover. She was often quoted “dogs are the only things that ever truly understand me!” 😹 It is interesting to note that her method of parenting was to lavish attention on the youngest while they were in their helpless babyhood or toddler stage and then slowly discard you as you grew and matured and gained independence. She found it almost impossible to relate or respect you once you were an independent being. I noticed her behavior continuing with her treatment of her grandkids as well. There was a clear favoritism for the youngest. She also spent her life as a first grade teacher surrounded by impressionable direct able children. After we all grew up and left she empty nested hard and she got two dogs. We gave her a hard time and joked with her about her “diva dogs” Her smothering mothering of those dogs bordered on insanity and still does to this day. I think we have all been replaced in the will for the dogs. So yes men and narcissists just love their dogs! No explanation needed as to why.

2021-01-27T20:18:26+00:00

Cats are incredibly affectionate... And it's personal when they do it.

rukia_kuchiki00 · 2021-01-27T20:25:07+00:00

So true about the way a man treats his pets! I’ve known many men on dating apps, and in real life, who would brag about how much they spend on their dog, take care of them, love them so much, etc. but later finding out that they were very neglectful and would simply hand off their dog to their mom/friends/siblings/etc. for them to take care of.

Then they would take the dog back for like a day to pose for some pictures and videos to make it seem like they actually took care of them. And then hand the dog off to someone else for them to take care of. They basically want to make it seem to other women as if they’re loving and nurturing by using their pet as the “object of their affection” but in reality they discard their pet(s) as if they were nothing.

I have also had an ex bf, and my own narcissistic mom, tell me that the reason why they love dogs so much is because “no matter how horrible you treat them they’ll always come back and love you no matter what!”. And the reason why they despise cats is because “Cats are not as forgiving as dogs nor as affectionate” . Which is total bs in my opinion. Cats are just as affectionate as any other pet as long as you treat them RIGHT and actually take care of them.

repurposedschleem · 2021-01-27T13:11:17+00:00

I’m gonna have to respectfully disagree here.

I’ll acknowledge my bias as a lifelong dog owner, “dog mom” or what have you, but I would challenge the idea that dog owner = red flag. And I would counter it with animal abuser = red flag.

I could get into my own anecdotes about the male cat lovers I’ve dated who scoffed at my dog ownership, saying dismissive things about how I’m somehow less sophisticated because I “rely on their unconditional love for companionship??”

Like, no, I choose dogs over cats as a matter of living an active lifestyle and recognizing that a cat probably doesn’t want to hike a 6,000 ft mountain while my lab is training for that WITH me.

So while I think there is something here — how he treats his pets is a reflection of how he could be expected to treat you, and animal abuse (not cat abuse in particular) is a predictor of future violence — I don’t think it is factually correct to assert that a dog lover (who is ambivalent toward cats, a cat hater is a different story), is going to be a bad partner.

I think the more likely scenario is people who look down on other people’s choices in companion animals are LV, and abuse or neglect is straight up NV.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-01-28T00:55:34+00:00

Well, I know my LVX told me the reason he liked dogs so much, besides being able to train them, was that he could “kick them and treat them like total shit and they’d never leave and never cheat”. 🙄

ApfelEsserin · 2021-01-27T11:44:05+00:00

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throwRAwhatisthis · 2021-01-27T12:38:12+00:00

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gasolinedrinks · 2021-01-27T23:07:52+00:00

Yuck, I dated a LVM unfortunately for a few weeks in November who talked every day about how he “wanted a dog”. And he refused to go on walks with me! He literally said NO to going on walks, he said his work involved him being on his feet too much. When I asked him how he would walk a dog he genuinely seemed confused. THIS IS WHATS OUT THERE, it’s disgusting. Oh and he rehomed two cats a year prior because they were “too much energy” and he couldn’t keep up with them. Ew ew ew.

midwesternwinds · 2021-01-27T19:01:32+00:00

Many dog people passionately hate cats because cats don't slavishly worship you for throwing the ball or feeding them. You have to earn their love and respect-like people. (Also, they tend to like you even if someone else feeds them, which dogs don't typically. They'll start preferring your neighbor to you if the neighbor started leavinga bowl out instead! I like dogs, but it's true.) I don't know if there's any studies about narcissists preferring dogs but it makes a ton of sense to me.

A lot of selfish people (women too, I've noticed) need to be worshipped and adored even in a superficial way to feel good. They're very uncomfortable with anyone more independent than themselves. Cats require little more than a clean litter box, fresh water and food, and some attention. I love my bff but I really was disappointed that she got a dog (a freaking half pitbull no less) because "I want company" while her husband is gone. Girl. You have 2 kids, 2 cats, and snakes!!! If you feel attention deprived, seek therapy please.

Also, cats are smaller and weaker and I've seen so many horrible videos where a bully will encourage their dog to go after a cat or post videos of dogs smacking cats for no apparent reason like it's funny. It reminds me of how many men love videos of women getting punched by men, often much larger than themselves. Something about those weaker than themselves just enrages them and makes them want to punish them for it.

throwRAwhatisthis · 2021-01-27T15:20:44+00:00

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_Amarantos · 2021-01-27T18:49:38+00:00

Honestly I don't date men with dogs anymore. I've had too many times of going over to a guy's house for the first time and half of the time they're screaming at the dog for jumping on me/being excited/wanting to be affectionate with me. Like dude, it's not the dog's fault you've put no time into training it. Don't even get me started on the dudes who won't fix their male dogs out of some weird sense of pride.

Yeah_hey_kittycat · 2021-01-28T17:41:24+00:00

😂👏 Oh my gosh, I have always kind of thought this too. No offense to dog lovers, but I prefer cats. What I’ve ALWAYS loved about them is that their love has to be truly EARNED. And so when they love you it’s that much more significant and special. ❤️ And I totally agree with this assessment of the parallel to how much work/effort a man or woman is willing to put into their relationships.

Zayelle · 2021-01-27T14:44:58+00:00

Fun fact. I went to a "mental preparator" when I was competiting in martial arts. She made me do a tibetan personality test.

She asked me to sort out 5 things (ocean, coffee, cats, dogs and rats) in my order of preference.

You can do it yourself, right now, and then read the result.

The meaning:

Ocean is your life.

Coffee is how you view sex.

Cat is your partner personality.

Dog is your personality.

Rat is the personality of your enemy.

So men who LOVE dogs and HATE cats are telling on themselves. They value themselves way more than they value you.

Inevitable_Soft_101 · 2021-01-28T20:00:30+00:00

There’s some merit to this. My first ex, although he cheated.. treated me very well, never once called me out my name (bare minimum, I know) never physically attempted to harm me, etc.. he wouldn’t have a cat if he had the choice but he never expressed ANY hate towards them. In fact the guy rescued one temporarily during a hurricane, de-flead it and everything. This is a guy who wouldn’t even wash his own dishes.

Now my second ex, verbally abusive.. physically abusive on one occasion while I was wasted. Said (recently) that he hopes I get violently gang raped. When I mentioned I’d gotten a kitten he said how he can’t wait to run it over. When we were actually dating I begged and pleaded for a cat but his comments got more grotesque each time regarding cats so I just dropped it. He’d send me the videos you could literally only ever find on the dark web, ie: someone in a 3rd world country being viciously stabbed in the middle of the street and bystanders just watching. Dude being shot in the head by child soldiers. No it was not photoshopped... I got random videos like this often. There is merit to this. I refuse to date a guy who doesn’t like cats.

tamarisauce · 2021-01-27T14:12:44+00:00

I’ve seen commentary like this in the sub before and tbh? It’s garbage. Not understanding cats doesn’t mean that you don’t understand boundaries or consent, it just means you don’t understand cats. I have trained my dog to behave near perfectly- yes he obeys my commands and does what I say but a lot of that is for his own safety, and I spend a lot of my time worrying about him or thinking about his needs. Cats sometimes just claw you for no reason and I don’t understand that- doesn’t mean I only value transactional relationships or need to be needed.

shortywannarock · 2021-01-27T21:24:52+00:00

Oh man, sometimes this sub goes a little nuts with the red flags.. why are there so many comments trying to paint dogs as slavish dimwits preferred by misogynistic assholes, while cats are wise, regal creatures preferred by HV people lol?

Both animals are just animals, their ownership, or preference doesn’t say anything about that person’s psychology. Cats can be needy and obedient too, while some dogs can be extremely independent, and guarded — it depends on their training and personality.

SilverYayFern · 2021-01-28T03:06:58+00:00

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Paradox_Blobfish · 2021-01-28T10:40:01+00:00

This guy has never seen my mom's cat. He's literally glued to her all the time.

Title	Thoughts on my new theory on why many men prefer dogs to cats?
Author	throwRAwhatisthis
Upvotes	186
Comments	93
Date	January 27, 2021 10:49 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l620nq/thoughts_on_my_new_theory_on_why_many_men_prefer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts-on-my-new-theory-on-why-many-men-prefer.1193195 https://theredarchive.com/post/1193195

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